At Gwanghwamun…

Do you ever wish you had a second chance to meet someone again for the first time?

That is what’s probably clouding Kyuhyun’s mind every time he pauses for one second, looks around and purposely stops, ultimately, at Gwanghwamun. Clad in a boring gray suit and a briefcase on his left hand while he holds an umbrella on his right, he stares at every passing person but he never looks at their faces because then he’ll only be searching for one. Despite the statistics and probabilities Kyuhyun studied and is now using to earn living, he will not have to need any of them as he knows there’s no way, definitely no way, that he’s going to see him. Not today. Not tomorrow.

Yet there he is, still pausing, still looking around and still stopping because oh, how he wishes he can bring back time again and so he can see him.

How was your day? There’s still a little bit of summer left
For some reason, I had a tiring day
When the leaves changed color on the side of the road of Gwanghwamun
That was when I finally lifted my head

Kyuhyun doesn’t live far from work but he also doesn’t live that near but still, every time he will ponder whether he’ll take the bus or walk again, he knows he doesn’t really have to think because he will walk. Because it will give him another reason to pause, and to stop, and maybe, to hope.

He knows it’s futile, that he’s still hoping because he will think wistfully that he probably moved on with his life now without Kyuhyun, but despite all the logic in this world, Kyuhyun is willing to defy them if he can think of him even for a while, even only for that fleeting moment and smile as he remembers that smile that shines brighter than the sun.

We used to shine so bright together
But now we are strangers
In your arms, the world was mine
Goodbye to those childish days

He wonders where he is now, if he can still remember the times they climbed trees and the days they swam at the sea, if he can still recognize Kyuhyun’s face when they cross roads, if he will still speak to Kyuhyun with such gentleness it lulls Kyuhyun to sleep. He wonders if he’ll ever be allowed to see him again, if they will ever be allowed to be together again. But he knows better and it’s better not to hope.

It’s better, yes, but it’s not what Kyuhyun wants because he doesn’t know if he’ll find another person who can complete his world as he did before. So he’ll walk the street of Gwanghwamun, let himself be warmth by the thoughts of him and manage to sleep another night without him.

I don’t know if living in this world
Is just about always looking for another person
As I came to this street, filled with the aroma of coffee
That was when I finally smiled

If Kyuhyun will think about it, there never really was any chance for them in the past. There never really was and there never will be. He was both his anchor and his storm. He realizes it’s real and how ironic it is that the person who’s your best strength is also the same person who’s your worst weakness.

He loves his voice filling his mind and he loves his hands searching his in the middle of a crowded place but what Kyuhyun loves the most was when he tells him he will never go away, even though that was what he did.

It was the first time that someone made me that nervous
You were the only one
You were more lovable than anyone else
But why did you leave me?

It is raining today and unlike those many days when Kyuhyun pauses and stops at Gwanghwamun, he isn’t holding an umbrella on his right hand but the last thing he holds in his heart that reminds him that yes, it happened, and that even though it’s long over now and there’s no chance in the future that it will happen again, the last bliss in his heart is that it happened and nothing, not a thing that will happen in the future is ever going to change that. That it happened.

He will hold it close to his heart and he will remember that day when he said goodbye, the sad smile on his lips even when they haven’t said the words, yet, and the warmest hug Kyuhyun received from anyone in his entire life.

There were unspoken words and Kyuhyun could have told him everything but how could he hold him back from making all his dreams come true? He couldn’t. So that day, Kyuhyun only extended his hand and offered him the brightest smile he could muster as his goodbye.

But now, Kyuhyun would look back and hope against hope that maybe, just maybe, he is standing here now and that Kyuhyun can tell him everything he regretted he didn’t tell him that afternoon when he said goodbye.

Today, like a fool, I am standing at that spot
Getting wet in the rain
Waiting for you, who won’t come
I was happy
At the memories of holding hands and walking together, I look back
In case you are standing there

For no reason, like a fool, I’m standing at this spot
Getting wet in the rain
Waiting for you, who won’t come
I was happy
I look back once again at this road in Gwanghwamun
In case you are standing there

They were a thousand folded cranes he gave Kyuhyun in exchange of Kyuhyun’s extended hand, with a soft smile that says, wish whatever your heart desires before walking away forever in Kyuhyun’s life.

He has kept all of it but has never dared to make a wish.

What if he wishes the wrong wish? He doesn’t want his effort of giving him the chance to make a wish of his lifetime go to waste. He can’t live thinking that the last thing he gave him before leaving, he used in vain.

But that day, at Gwanghwamun, as rain consumes him he can only think of his warm smile and the coffee he will always make him whenever Kyuhyun visits his place, how unpleasantly bitter it is but Kyuhyun will drink it anyway because he made it for him. He can only think of climbing trees and swimming at the sea. He can only think of small hands searching for his on crowded places. He can only think of him and how he was so happy because of him.

At that place, I get to know
How I’m slowly changing every day
In the far days ahead, just smile for me
I’m happy
Because today, this place is just as beautiful as back then

“Come back to me, Jongwoon.”

--

“Kyuhyun?”

It rains that day but not from the clouds.

It’s not always we get that one thing we wish for the most in the world and this time, Kyuhyun will not make any regrets.

End

A/N:

I didn't expect the ending from myself but the song is so sad in itself I can't bear making it a lot sadder because of this story.

And also, because of this:

This is recent, right? Taken when Kyu's promoting? Seriously, they're sailing. Our beautiful ship is sailing OMG. :3