The Life of a “Gamer”

Yesung sighed, but this was not an ordinary sigh, instead one dripping with endless fondness, the feeling deep in his heart and pulsing in his chest, his stomach fuzzy with feelings that never seem to go away.

 Aimlessly he stretched his limbs and twisted his neck, trying to get that little bit of sleepiness  from his eyes, small fist twisting across his eye lids as he pulled himself upwards, the blankets falling away from him and a shiver moving down his spine instantly.

It was frightfully cold for autumn, the temperature dropping below zero already and reports of some snowfall in parts of Seoul, though he did not have the pleasure of seeing it himself, instead spending the evening in a nice cosy little room with a jumpy nervous beloved who he thought had gone to bed with him, but having woken up alone on a rather cold bed and spotting the hunched figure of Kyuhyun at his table, he was clearly wrong.

He didn’t think Kyuhyun had noticed that he was awake.

He doubt Kyuhyun would notice if the building was burning down right about then, hunched entirely over what Yesung believed to be his laptop, not actually seeing the device, but with the limited light making it past his hunched form Yesung was safe to assume that it was in fact his laptop and nothing else.

Yesung watched him for a few seconds, wondering if he should just leave him be, aware that the nervousness was probably driving him insane and honestly, if his solo album had just dropped, Yesung didn’t think he would be able to sleep either, a smile gracing his lips, remembering the look of euphoria on Kyuhyun’s face at a minute after midnight when he opened Melon to find his solo album staring at him, figuratively at least.

There had been physical copies around his room before, an Yesung had one on his desk and in his stereo and a few of the songs on his phone a while now of course, listening them in passing since Kyuhyun was recording for the album, giving his input here and there about what he thought.

Kyuhyun didn’t need his help, but he was annoyingly like that he supposed, forcing himself on proceedings, or so he thought, until Kyuhyun had him in a breath-taking hug, literal this time, the bastard squeezing the air from his lungs in his excitement, thanking him for his help, seriously stating that he couldn’t even beginning to do it without Yesung and things like that.

Yesung disagreed on that point, positive that Kyuhyun was more than capable, as the end product had shown, but he understood what Kyuhyun meant. It was better to do it with someone who you trusted, and whose opinion mattered to you. He often asked Kyuhyun for his opinion on how a song should be recorded and how to space his breathing etc. It was just part of singing and Kyuhyun was the best vocalist that he knew, so he felt very flattered and appreciated.

All in all, Kyuhyun worked damn hard on his very own solo album, the first member from Super Junior, not their subgroups, to have a solo release and their maknae had made them all proud. He was brilliant thoroughly and Yesung just hoped that it would be successful. He knew that Kyuhyun had done enough to make them all proud either way, but still, everyone wanted success and he prayed that Kyuhyun would have it.

 In his heart he knew Kyuhyun would be successful though.

How could he not be anyway?

Kyuhyun was his very special brat!

Seeing him so nervous now though did two things. Firstly, he found him precious in every possible way, but then again he always thought Kyuhyun was a gift from God so that was not surprising and secondly, he was worried.

 Kyuhyun was nervous and jumpy and that really couldn’t be good for him, especially when he would have a long day ahead and really needed to sleep if he needed his voice to be in a good condition. Yesung couldn’t even be there for the concert in the morning as he had to go to work, so Kyuhyun would be in his lonesome. Eunhyuk and Donghae and Heechul were all away, so they couldn’t be there either, but Yesung figured whoever else had time would be there to take care of him, as well as their managers and his parents and Kyuhyun was certainly not a rookie, but it was frightening to stand on stage that way, to stand by your lonesome when you are not accustomed to it.

He nearly had a mental breakdown when he had to do it for Grey Paper and that was just an OST.

This was Kyuhyun’s solo release, his heart and soul went into the production of it. Of course he would be more even more stressed than Yesung was. He was trying to show everyone his skill and individuality and instantly Yesung was nervous on his behalf.

Even so Yesung really couldn’t just leave him to his thought though. He knew from experience that did not end well, sure Kyuhyun would just stress himself out. Kyuhyun was more even minded than he was, but things of that nature were stressful no matter how calm you were as a person and for the entire week Kyuhyun had been stressed and jumpy and it did not help that he had to be away recently in Thailand for his CF fanmeeting.

The schedules had not been favourable to him at all but there was nothing that could be done, save and except help him to relax.

That was Yesung’s intention since the evening began, distracting him since he arrived.

Kyuhyun didn’t care for games or movies or friends or talking, but he was a lot more willing to kiss him for a couple of hours, Yesung smartly engaging in some heavy petting, hoping to keep Kyuhyun’s mind off the album release. It would be a hard task but he figured he was up to it, always aware that his young boyfriend was swayed by his hormones more often than not.

Plus, Yesung figured Kyuhyun enjoyed the distraction, the hands playing with his hair and the soft lips skilful over his, moving sensually. In the end, around midnight Kyuhyun had broken it off, hyper aware of the time as to be expected, stalking over to his laptop to observe it all. Yesung did not try to impede him, instead there with his camera snapping shots of Kyuhyun cursing at his computer to get it all to hurry up, excited and in dread at the same time.

 He wanted to force Kyuhyun to sleep but he knew he couldn’t, not when it was happening just then.

He held his hand as they waited, body draped over Kyuhyun in a weak back hug as they counted the seconds, Yesung singing his praises and reassurances whilst Kyuhyun glared at the computer, both releasing a collective sigh when the song was finally released and Kyuhyun immediately told him to buy his song instantly!

Yesung was not amused. He still bought it from every music site though. Stupid Brat.

Kyuhyun bounced in front of his laptop for a while, fielding calls of congratulations and messages from the others, tweeting [Finally you purple egg! –Stay quiet you!] so that his fans would know that it was out etcetera, Yesung just keeping him company and sharing the happiness of the moment with him, clinging to him like a real fan boy, much to Kyuhyun’s--- nothing, since he didn’t seem to have time to worry about Yesung.

This time Yesung didn’t mind, aware that Kyuhyun was very flustered and he really wanted to be a supportive boyfriend for a change. He had a lot of regrets in that light, always regretful that he did not help Kyuhyun the way he needed to be helped and had worked hard for them to get past that little hiccup they had some months back. All of this was him trying to do better, to be a better man for Kyuhyun and sometimes he really did have to think about Kyuhyun and not himself. He would be childish to get mad at Kyuhyun for ignoring him when he knew Kyuhyun had a million thoughts on his mind.

He flittered around him for a while, hyper excited for a bit before his energy faded and his age made itself known, crawling back into their bed so that he could hide in the warm covers and just appreciate being there for the moment. When the title song reached number one on the first music chart , Kyuhyun came to him, all red and flustered and happy, sinking into his arms and just letting him hug the life out of him, a million words of congratulations past his lips and a million wishes of good memories and success breathed.

 Kyuhyun held on to him in tiredness and maybe just relief.

He was happy too, ecstatic even, but really, he was just so damned relieved that it was working out, that this was not a disaster that would haunt him. Yesung knew what he felt then, what that simple thing meant to them both. It would be a long way of course, but that was Kyuhyun’s first victory, his very first vindication and Yesung was grateful for it, even more than Kyuhyun.

Somewhere buried in his arms, he wondered if the wetness against his collarbone was a tear, but Kyuhyun never made a sound and Yesung never asked a question, instead infusing the moment with praises that meant to Kyuhyun’s ego, making the younger man laugh happily, finally giving him his intention, especially when he leaned up with suspiciously read eyes to plant a firm deep kiss to his lips, Yesung a little flustered after making Kyuhyun laugh.

Kyuhyun wanted to escape eventually, eager to return to the charts and to stare at his song as it made the climb but Yesung was stubborn in holding him against his body, refusing to let the brat go no matter how much he complained. Kyuhyun needed to sleep and he would never get to it if he just stalked the charts.

 Kyuhyun grumbled and pouted but Yesung had the right solution for that, skilful wrapping his body around Kyuhyun and dragging him into his warmth, hands clasped around Kyuhyun’s waist and legs tangling with his, burying his head against his chest and refusing to move, holding him prisoner. It was childish and Kyuhyun said so, but Kyuhyun was dumb and didn’t know when to let it go. At one o’ clock in the morning he really ought to go to sleep, except if he really wanted to be a zombie in the morning and that would not be a good thing.

Kyuhyun didn’t really put up that much of a struggle honestly, aware what Yesung was saying was correct and when a hand untangled itself from his waist to reach into his hair and through the lush locks, he had lost the fight. Kyuhyun relaxed instantly, Yesung’s fingers always like magic in that regard.

If there was anything that could get him to relax, it was Yesung’s adorably small fingers carding through his hair, neither gently nor firmly, just right, sometimes using the blunt non-existent nails to scrap along his scalp, knowing exactly what he liked. It was always comforting. He was able to relax just a little but was still minded to track his songs, mind a flurry of activity but was soon put to an end.

Yesung started humming, and then he sang.  Not just any song, but ‘Puff the Magic Dragon’.

Just for Kyuhyun.

That damn lullaby!

Kyuhyun complained that it was not fair, but Yesung ignored him, singing in that low voice he always reserved for this make shift lullaby, shifting until he was flat on his back and Kyuhyun was pressed against Yesung’s chest, moulding themselves until they were comfortable, Yesung’s hands coming up to wrap around his broad shoulders and that hand remaining to his head, lips pressed against his forehead when Yesung hummed the parts for the lyrics he didn’t know, Kyuhyun’s eyes falling shut.

Only when Yesung was sure that Kyuhyun was asleep, unlikely heavily since Kyuhyun would still be too restless, but it was better than nothing honestly, fitful sleep better than no sleep at all. Take it from the insomniac. He had a little a lot of experience in that regard and funnily enough, it was Kyuhyun always forcing him to go to sleep then.

When he was sure that Kyuhyun was at least resting for a bit he allowed himself to sleep, the room cold even under the blankets and sleep coming easy to him, his heart heavy with joy and pride and Kyuhyun’s warmth covering him. He was happy and just really contented.

This would explain why he missed Kyuhyun getting up and leaving the bed.

He was a little sleeper, so sounds often woke him. It was a faint clicking that did it this time, dragging him from his sleep and aware that he was alone making him sit up finally, noticing Kyuhyun once more at his computer.

With a low sigh he glanced at his phone, the time staring back at him closer to two thirty in the morning and he cracked a half smile. Kyuhyun couldn’t even sleep for an hour proper. It would just be one of those nights, he just knew it.

He contemplated what to do once again, sure that Kyuhyun was too anxious to sleep, but certain he needed the rest, not sure how to convince to do so and then mindful that this was a big moment for Kyuhyun and he should just let him enjoy it all. It was always like this, so complicated all the time, sighing low in his throat, the action once again going unnoticed.

His mind was made up for him however when he looked over to the man at his desk, thin t-shirt clinging to broad shoulders over even thinner boxers and Kyuhyun trembled. His body shaking from the cold but entirely too immersed on tracking the charts, as Yesung was sure that was what he was doing, to even notice that he was shivering from the cold, the idiot sure to get himself sick.

With a heavy sigh, Yesung wiped the sleep from his eyes before he pulled himself from the bed, the cold air hitting him instantly, the internal heater on, but not really adjusted for the dangerous drop in temperature. It was not often that the weather got so bad in autumn so no one really called for a readjustment, easier to just bundle up and hope that it improved quickly.

The cold scorched his bear skin, which really was just his arms, much smarter than Kyuhyun , dressed in thick sweats and proper t-shirt, but that really did nothing to stop the cold air circulating the room, Kyuhyun’s body shivering once more and unnoticed by the younger man, Yesung immediately grabbing at the comforter from the bed, pulling it loose and easily wrapping it around himself, grateful for the warmth that enveloped him, hands clasping at the ends to hold it together as he made the short journey over to the distracted man.

He was there in five steps or so, though he waddled more than walked, the comforter small, but large enough to drag behind him, his steps slowed and tiny as not to trip himself, pretty sure Kyuhyun would take a break from his obsessing just so that he could laugh at him when he face planted, his boyfriend a little bit on the mean side, though he did indeed love him anyway.

He announced his arrival by throwing his arms over Kyuhyun’s shoulder, instantly nestling against his head and then throat, trying to avoid the coldness of the chair’s back against his skin, since the part of his thighs that were touching the mental and fabric hated it entirely, much too frigid. Kyuhyun made a sound of surprise but settled immediately when he realized that it was just Yesung, who was shifting about behind him uncomfortably, Kyuhyun smiling when Yesung cursed at the cold chair, thinking quick on his feet, well…his chair since he was still sitting down, figuring that Yesung may not slaughter him for just trying to keep him warm.

Would he?

As Yesung continued to fight with the chair and be a real nuisance, Kyuhyun figured that he really did deserve some special treatment from his adorable boyfriend, momentarily forgetting his song and the charts.

With practiced eased, which Yesung would likely wonder about at a later time Kyuhyun reached behind him and grabbed Yesung’s arm and pulled, the man getting tangled in the comforter, but Kyuhyun didn’t seem that concerned, just pushing the chair back a bit to make some room as he pulled Yesung from behind the chair and towards him. When Yesung was no longer behind the chair, grumbling a ‘hey!’ and grabbing at the slipping comforter and letting Kyuhyun do as he pleased since he really had no idea what he had in mind and was too sleepy too care very much.

That was until he found himself on Kyuhyun’s lap, the younger man giving him a breathless boyish smile that seemed to come from nowhere, especially given that he was so emotional and teary all evening prior, the sight shocking Yesung into silence and conduct it would seem, Kyuhyun surprised that he was not being smacked for doing something that Yesung considered inappropriate.

 Kyuhyun could probably count on one hand the number of times that Yesung allowed himself to sit on his lap and have about three fingers left over. Anything that threatened his masculinity was a big issue to Yesung, something that Kyuhyun really didn’t get but figured he had more pressing concerns to deal with than his boyfriend’s strange mind, namely keeping him from punching Kyuhyun in the face when he had his first small solo concert in a few hours. The thought alone enough to make him feel queasy but for now he wanted to only focus on Yesung.

With sneakiness Kyuhyun pulled him onto him properly, humming in glee when the heat of Yesung touched his skin, only now realizing how cold it actually was now that he had Yesung’s warmth, the chair small, so he really would just get to have him sit on him and nothing much more than that, but it really would be enough for him, helping Yesung rearrange himself without much thought, just following the motions that Kyuhyun was making, until both were fairly comfortable, Yesung instinctively wrapping a hand around Kyuhyun shoulder for balance, and ignoring the chair arm that was digging into his back, finally allowing himself to accept his new position.

“Aren’t you a little bold?” Yesung commented, giving Kyuhyun an exasperated look but he made no real effort to remove himself from the younger man’s lap.

He was pretty accustomed to Kyuhyun’s attitude when it comes to things like that and honestly, Kyuhyun’s lap was a lot more comfortable than the hardness of the back of his chair and those angles were all wrong to hug Kyuhyun anyway.

This was much better, as he could see Kyuhyun and properly wrap his arms around him and it was not as if Kyuhyun couldn’t take his weight either, the younger man rather famous for his very sturdy thighs and strong lower body. Sitting on Kyuhyun’s lap always hurt his pride as a man, but he had been trying to be more accommodating lately and he would be lying if he said that it was not comfortable for him, so he let it go.

That did not mean he wouldn’t make a comment about it though. Brat always did what he wanted.

“Soloist that chart number one on numerous charts can afford to be a little bold” Kyuhyun said cheekily.

 He cutely used his chin to point to the numerous tabs he had open on his laptop tracking his solo’s charting positions, gleeful just a few minutes ago when he finally hit number one on the real time charts and the other songs lining up in the top fifty on Melon and the same feeling of euphoria when the same could be seen on the other charts, wanting to share it with Yesung but not wanting to disturb his sleep, just staring at the charts and wondering if that was really happening.

It was still really early and he knew he needed more than just the real time charts to be successful, but STILL! He was charting #1! He couldn’t help but he excited over something like that.

He wanted to tell Yesung instantly but refrained. Now he could do it though.

“Oh really?” Yesung asked with excitement.

Forgetting the unamused glare he was giving him before to turn away from him entirely reaching for the laptop to see it for himself, clapping his small hands like a little kid when he saw the Melon #1 and the Bugs and the Soribada, glee filling his heart instantly, turning back to Kyuhyun with the widest smile the younger man had ever seen in his life.

“Congratulations Brat” Yesung said with some excitement, turning back to the grinning Kyuhyun and instantly kissing him soundly, hands wrapping around his neck as he held him.

 Kyuhyun surprised at first, but then getting into the kiss, lips moving sensually over his, first time not really caring that he had been asleep and had not brushed his teeth as yet, those thoughts out of his mind completely, only filled with the glee he felt on Kyuhyun’s behalf, his heart swimming in pride and just so damn happy for Kyuhyun!

 It was well deserved and the mere idea at the happiness that Kyuhyun was feeling made him feel elated, the happiness tingling throughout his body, though Kyuhyun would one day be a brat and say all that came from the kiss, though Yesung was sure it really was just the happiness.  

The kiss was nice too of course.

He held him for a minute or so before he finally broke the kiss to his lips, a rough breath, the real reason for breaking it off, needing to breathe before he planted warm happy kisses to Kyuhyun’s nose and eyes and forehead and just everywhere he could reach feeling truly affectionate and for once too happy to care about how he looked or if Kyuhyun would think him over eager, Kyuhyun enjoying it completely, laughing happily when Yesung finally pulled away, staring at him with a wide smile and a happy heart.

“Is it an all kill yet?” Yesung asked with anticipating, eyeing Kyuhyun before he turned back to the charts, glad that the spaces were so tight now, easy for him to reach the laptop, watching the pages open trying to figure it out for himself, but was pulled away from it when Kyuhyun held on to his jaw, tugging him back to face him, leaning forward to kiss him sweetly.

Kyuhyun finally spoke when he pulled back.

“Not yet. There are a few more to go, but it does look promising” Kyuhyun said with a smile, having diligently followed the charts and even spied on some of his fansites for them to help him understand where the song was charting.

Honestly, his fansites were much better at things like than he was and he was grateful for that. He couldn’t track them all at once but the fansites seemed to be doing that. In the real time, hourly charts he knew he was close to an all kill, about five charts he was at #1 but there were about 9 recognized charts and he still had a few more to go if he wanted that honour.

 The fact that it was charting in the top ten was honestly more than enough for him.

His vanity had him expecting to do well, but he knew rationally that it was going to be tough, the markets saturated and the bad blood in the air after the Sungmin issue and so many other problems, especially the fact that with SM in chaos the dates were all pushed forward and he didn’t have enough time to perfect everything and the promotions were limited and it really was a hit or miss right about then.

He would be satisfied with a favourable charting.

An ALL KILL was more than he could have hoped for.

 Even if it was just a real time daily all kill, that would truly be something and he really was very happy just watching the song climb. Before Yesung came he pinched himself to figure out if he were dreaming honestly, the song doing so well and now really happy he had convinced SM and Yesung and Ryeowook to let him steal so to say, their KRY song for the solo. He really liked it and it seemed that everyone else really liked it as well and it was really amazing!

And now that Yesung was there to share it with him, he really couldn’t even be happier that he was in that moment, except maybe when he finally got the full all kill, but he would think about that then, just enjoying one step at a time and taking it all in.

It was not the first time he had obsessed over charts, being a singer for about 9 years was quite a while, but it felt different now that it was for his own solo release honestly and it was all just so overwhelming and perfect.

“I am so proud of you!” Yesung cheered nearly, eyes bright with life and smile so wide Kyuhyun figured he would hurt his mouth, all this before he basically launched himself at Kyuhyun again, wrapping his arms around his neck and  hugging the life out of him, repeating his praises and telling him how proud he was of him.

He really was. Deep in his soul.

He had wondered if he would feel a niggle of jealousy when Kyuhyun had told him about the decided date for the solo release, but he was happy now to say that he truly did not feel envious.

Okay….not that envious so that he would feel aggrieved in any way. He would be lying if he said that Kyuhyun’s solo did not make him want one of his own, that it didn’t make him missing singing and performing, miss being with Kyuhyun and Ryeowook, hearing their voices harmonize with such perfection. He missed it all, but he honestly he was just really happy for Kyuhyun now.

Kyuhyun’s success was his success in a strange way and if nothing else it would make him work harder upon his return to have a good comeback as well, not just for himself but for KRY as well.

He was not [entirely] jealous, just inspired really and so damn proud!

 His precious baby Kyu had done so well. How could he not feel proud? He was really just so happy he thought he would burst.

“Grrrrr….this is unbelievable” Yesung commented, just in awe of everything that had happened, so thrilled and happy and proud that he couldn’t even think straight.

 Kissing at Kyuhyun’s face dumbly, unaware that he was probably suffocating Kyuhyun with his clinginess. He only realized it when Kyuhyun poked him on the side and caused him to lose his grip, releasing Kyuhyun with a yelp, though no harm came to him, Kyuhyun quick to wrap his arms around him and hold him tight.

Probably just to poke him again. Brat!

“Yah! What do you mean unbelievable? I was always going to be awesome!” Kyuhyun complained, but Yesung knew he was just joking really and looking for an excuse to be a brat and poke him.

Kyuhyun knew Yesung did not mean it that way and Yesung knew that Kyuhyun never once thought that it was a done deal. The younger man had spent hours awake trembling in fear about how the whole thing would work out. Yesung himself had spent hours taking over the role Kyuhyun normally had in their relationship, talking Kyuhyun off a figurative ledge, insisting that it would all work out and that he was the best singer ever! [ but not better than me, just so you know!].

Kyuhyun was acting confident now, but they both knew he was more relieved than he was even happy.

 It was a stressful time for him and even with an immediate all kill, he knew it was a long way to go. There was still the daily charts and the weekly charts and the physical sales and how he was received by the public and his mini solo concert in the morning and then after that there was the solo stages and he needed to sing live and he had endless schedules and SJ still had concerts and SM were breathing down his neck about sales and he was terrified about embarrassing himself and Super Junior and worse, embarrassing the reputation and legacy that KRY had formed for themselves.

They all had a lot riding on this solo birth.

 Kyuhyun had vowed that he would do well and make it easier for KRY to have their turn. SM was very watchful over the whole thing and he had a lot of pressure on his shoulders. He was grateful for this early success and encouragement, but one day of an ALL KILL, which had not happened as yet [ though he was sure it eventually happen giving the movement of the charts] anyway, there was still a very long way to go.

If he really thought about all of that he would spend all his waking moments puking, so he honestly just wanted to enjoy this success and appreciate the fact that Yesung was so happy for him that he had not smacked him yet for making him sit on his lap.

If this was the life of a successful soloist, then he definitely wanted to be on that train.

“You and that ego” Yesung laughed low in his throat, aware of the arrogance that Kyuhyun was feigning, though he was grateful for it now.

He was happy that Kyuhyun was enjoying this little moment and not stressing too much, which was certainly better than all the worrying he was doing. He knew Kyuhyun was joking, but Kyuhyun really did have a massive ego, so he was never wrong in pointing it out, swatting him on the arm fondly.

“I really am very proud of you” Yesung said once more when his little laugher died down, settling himself so that he could look at Kyuhyun properly,  a hand reaching for his jaw to make him look at him, eyes warm and sincere and just a faint heartfelt smile.

He was proud and wanted Kyuhyun to know that. No matter how it went he would have been proud. With it already being so successful and seemingly heading for even greater success he was even more proud.

His BabyKyu was growing up well.

“Thank you….for everything” Kyuhyun said sincerely as well, truly meaning it.

There was so much to thank the older man for, ranging from his advice as a sunbae singer to his patience when dealing with his mood swings. Kyuhyun tried not to burden him with too much of it, not wanting to hurt him on the off chance that this solo release reminded him of the things that he was missing whilst he was away.

 Kyuhyun knew it was hard for him, knew that he missed the stage and performing and had so many plans. It would not have been easy for him, but at the same time Kyuhyun didn’t think it was good for their relationship to not reveal something so important to Kyuhyun to the person he intended to spend his life with, especially when Yesung would find out the next time he and Kangta spoke, which was fairly often.

If Kyuhyun was perfectly honest however he was not really not far thinking or mature.

He really just wanted to share it with Yesung for his own peace of mind.

He was much too excited on his own and needed Yesung’s strange calm and reassuring presence to get through it all.

He needed his hyung.

Yesung was frightfully annoying of course. He was mad at first that Kyuhyun was getting his solo before KRY, but that lasted about ten minutes before he was being the annoying main vocalist that he was, insisting that Kyuhyun show him what he had worked on so far and giving his comments and opinions etc, though he did leave it mostly to Kyuhyun.

He said he wanted Kyuhyun to make “your own music.  Be Kyuhyun”, which basically meant that he was not going to try to influence him too much. T

hat didn’t mean that Kyuhyun didn’t come to him days on end after being yelled at by Kenzie to help him with his phrasing or just a little advice on how Yesung thought he should vocalize a certain part of the song. Yesung was really good with connecting to music, with understanding the feeling beneath a song, to let the melody reach into his heart and bringing out the feelings. Kyuhyun was amazing vocally but he had trouble connecting properly. Yesung couldn’t do it for him of course, but he tried his best to help Kyuhyun understand the emotions of the songs, to not just read the lyrics but to take it to his heart and bring out the feelings inside of him.

Things like that were invaluable.

Along with the days when his schedules were just too much and he came home to find Yesung waiting on his bed for him, arms not outstretched, since Yesung was never helpful, instead asleep and drooling on Kyuhyun’s clean sheets or just mindlessly playing on his phone until Kyuhyun threw himself at him and kissed him senseless.

Whatever it was that he was doing, it all ended with Kyuhyun wrapped in his arms, a small hand carding through his hair and Yesung carefully listening to all his complaints before promising him that it would all be alright.

When he was endlessly stressed and frightfully irritable, Yesung was the only one that had the wherewithal to deal with his short fuse, taking the snarky remarks and snappish responses with grace before he smacked Kyuhyun had enough to bruise for being an , but he never did leave his side.

Kyuhyun was even more childish and irrational then, but Yesung was perfectly understanding, if not kind. Kyuhyun was punished a few times of course, Yesung’s temper even worse than his, but he really was so grateful to have there through most of it, especially when SM had to bring the date of release much closer and everyone was scrambling to compile the album, last minute recordings and endless decisions that had to be made.

Yesung’s guidance then would never be forgotten.

Kyuhyun had so much to thank him for that he didn’t even know where to begin.

“I really could not have done this without you” Kyuhyun said softly, his heart aching with the sentiment that he hoped he was able to convey.

He really should do something more, probably express his gratitude in some greater way but for now that was all he could do, aside from hugging Yesung closer to him, carefully dragging the displaced comforter around them both before he buried his head in Yesung’s throat and neck, inhaling deeply.

The comfort that only the scent of coffee tainted cinnamon flavoured skin could ever bring washing over him.

He missed things like that so much, too busy and just too tired to enjoy it all recently. He would have been the same now as well, but he found that the success was enough to ease his mind, just as Yesung’s presence did, the fact that he would share this moment with him.

He really couldn’t have done it without him. He couldn’t even bring himself to imagine how hard it would have all been if he didn’t have the strength of Yesung’s small shoulders, the blessing of his experience and knowledge and the warmth of his hands.

He owed him more than a lazy thank you, he knew he did, but for now it was all he could give him and he hoped Yesung understood his heart. Later he would thank him properly, use some of that money he would probably earn to buy him a proper thank you gift, even if he knew Yesung would pretend that he was mad that Kyuhyun brought him something. He always said it made him seem superficial, but they both knew that Yesung liked gifts, especially pretty things and Kyuhyun was always happy to buy him things like that so it all worked out.

He would do something nice for him; he really would, as soon as he had some time.

For now he hoped Yesung would just accept the soft kiss he pressed to his temple and the hand that hugged him close to his body, Kyuhyun’s heart pulsing in gratitude and affection, spending up when Yesung smiled at him.

“Once you know” Yesung said playfully, knocking his head against Kyuhyun’s fondly, the action affectionate and sweet.

A soft little giggle leaving his lips before it is muffled against Kyuhyun’s forehead when he pressed against to the area, still endlessly affectionate. He understood what Kyuhyun meant and was very minded to inform the younger man that his success was all thanks to his own hard work and nothing to do with Yesung, but he knew Kyuhyun would just protest and that would lead to them bickering for no reason.

He normally enjoyed the little banter but for now it was better to just accept the thanks and move forward.

He wasn’t sure how to respond so chose to tease. That was how he and Kyuhyun spoke to each other and the best way to understand what was meant between them. Kyuhyun laughed as well, shaking his head a little, his hand at his hip now squeezing lightly in fondness.

This action however caused the comforter to shift and his leg was left exposed and it took mere seconds for the cold air to be on his again.

Ahhhhh…he finally remembered why he walked over there to begin with.

Smack!

“Hyunggg!” Kyuhyun complained, pouting at Yesung as he tried to rub against his shoulder, confused as to why he was being beaten then.

 Normally Yesung smacked him when he annoyed him, but so far they were having a really sweet intimate moment and he didn’t do anything mean to Yesung since he poked him and that had been settled already.

What the hell?

He swore to the high heavens that he would never really understand Yesung. The man was insane and clearly violent, Kyuhyun mock glaring, but really it was just a pout as Yesung smacked him again.

“You are too stubborn and careless!” Yesung condemned immediately, glaring at Kyuhyun for real, showing the younger man how it was done properly, minded to hit him again for being so damn careless, casually ignoring the fact that he had allowed Kyuhyun to distract him and not only participated in the careless behaviour but had encouraged it.

In fact, he was still perched on Kyuhyun’s lap.

That had to be rectified.

With the swiftness of an athlete, and never as slow as his chose of pets, Yesung was untangling himself from Kyuhyun’s grasp, sliding from his lap, nearly tripping on the comforter, the hand that Kyuhyun had extended to stop him from moving away being the tool that was used to steady him, Yesung letting him do so, only reaching outwards to press his hand to Kyuhyun’s shoulder to get his balance before he was settled and standing on his own weight, Kyuhyun now looking very confused, and a little flustered as Yesung had pushed the chair a bit backwards so that he could stand.

Kyuhyun had questions to ask, confused as to why Yesung was scolding him, but it was pushed out of his mind when Yesung got off his lap, the space suddenly empty and cold and he didn’t like it, wanting him to return to him even whilst he wondered what had caused the action to begin with.

“How could you stay so long in the cold? Are you trying to get sick?” Yesung scolded as soon as he was standing firmly, answering all the questions that Kyuhyun had yet to ask, his hand coming to stay at his hips, reminding Kyuhyun of his mother, not in looks obviously, but the way he scolded him, Kyuhyun releasing a low laugh when he realized why Yesung was so annoyed.

This laugh earned him a glare and another violent swat to the head, just ducking out the way of it, but that was not enough, still feeling it a little, though that did nothing to stop the happy laughter bubbling up inside him, much to Yesung’s chagrin, his expression getting darker by the second.

He knew Kyuhyun was curious about the charts and he didn’t blame him, but the little brat had to learn to take better care of himself. His immune system was already in shambles, always getting sick from the slightest things and with his schedules in the state they were in, it was a miracle that he was still walking. Then he had his own promotions to begin and Kyuhyun was determined to sing live and if anything hurt his voice, like a winter cold, he would be devastated and frustrated and Yesung would kill him for causing him so much stress.

He couldn’t get sick!

Yesung wouldn’t allow it, especially at a time like this when he needed his voice to be strong and hold up, and not get strained from a cold. The days ahead would be long and painful and Kyuhyun always took a lifetime to recover and it was just a pain for all involved, especially Kyuhyun.

Yet the brat still was dumb enough to just sit there in the draft and expose himself to possible illness. Yesung wanted to smack him again.

He did.

“Awwww” Kyuhyun whined, making a pitiful face when he rubbed against his other shoulder this time, Yesung giving him a mean look before he relaxed, heaving a heavy sigh.

“What am I going to do with you?” Yesung asked rhetorically, sighing to himself more than anything else, shaking his head at his misfortunate.

Why did he have to fall in love with someone so careless with their own health honestly? It was damn frustrating, even though he secretly knew he enjoyed taking care of Kyuhyun more than anything else.

Still! Kyuhyun had to take better care of himself. If this continued Yesung would die from the stress.

“Love me for-“ Kyuhyun began with his normal cheeky response, the one he always responded with when asked that question, even when he knew that it was rhetorical and the way that Yesung expressed his exasperation with him, but he was interrupted before he could finish.

“Don’t you even dare” Yesung stopped him midday, glaring at him soundly, forcing Kyuhyun to shut up, though the younger did give him an amused smile, Yesung making a face at him before he sighed once again.

Kyuhyun had the audacity to smile at him.

That bastard.

“Come on. You need to get to bed now” Yesung instructed with a measure of scolding, that much Kyuhyun could gather, eyeing Yesung’s outstretched hands just as he glanced at the laptop, not sure if he really would be able to sleep now.

He understood what Yesung was saying and knew the same reasons that Yesung expressed the first time still held, but he was just too restless to sleep. Even Yesung’s arms weren’t enough to help him sleep and that was when he knew how bad it was really. If there was one thing that could always relax him, it was Yesung. He was really just too nervous for sleep, though he did manage to sleep for twenty minutes or so before the subconscious tugs pulled him awake.

He wanted to sleep, he really did, but he wasn’t sure he would be able to not be anxious about the songs and their chart placements.

Yesung was getting impatient, but he knew that look, his eyes following Kyuhyun’s movements, noting the way he stared at the laptop, the indecision behind his eyelashes, sighing not out of frustration, but understanding.

“You can keep track of it on your Ipad. Come to bed where it’s not so cold” Yesung said with resignation, offering a compromise.

 He could probably force Kyuhyun to just let it go and come sleep with him, but he knew that there was no guarantee that Kyuhyun’s mind would let him sleep anyway. He knew how torturous thoughts were and above all, he understood Kyuhyun’s nervousness, understood why it would be hard for him to even contemplate sleep even when it was sadly needed.

He understood Kyuhyun’s heart and this time he would not be the stubborn one. It was easier to find a solution that would allow Kyuhyun a chance to rest comfortably and out of the cold, bundled up and warm and ease Yesung’s mind than it was to impose his own will.

Learning to compromise was important for relationships, once more diligent in trying to repair all the damage done and keep his and Kyuhyun’s relationship going in the right direction.

“It’s not that bad” Kyuhyun commented.

He did so with a smile, turning to a laugh when Yesung gave him a look that seemed to scream “Are you serious?”, which was probably well deserved, especially since he knew it was well below zero right about then and the heating wasn’t even close enough to handle the new temperatures, but he was so distracted with the charts that he didn’t even consider the cold.

It was only when he nodded his acceptance as to what was suggested and he took Yesung’s hand and that he really stopped to think about the little shiver Yesung gave at the contact, realizing that his hands were freezing in comparison to Yesung’s, the small hands always infinitely warm to him so never thinking much of the difference in heat. As Yesung pulled him upwards, it was easier to recognize the difference, finally feeling the cold for himself, or at least finally conscious of it.

He shivered a little then, Yesung sympathetic but still rolling his eyes in that way he always did when he wanted to say “I told you so” but was refraining. A smile crossed Kyuhyun’s lips then as he let Yesung tug him upwards, placing a kiss to the older man’s head when he finally upright, Yesung releasing his hand to gather his comforter and not take a fall when he moved as he was prone to clumsiness, and he was not interested in making Kyuhyun laugh at his expense right about then.

Kyuhyun then shut his laptop and grabbed his Ipad, aware that he should sleep, but it was better to have the item that could quell his curiosity somewhere nearby, walking behind Yesung like a puppy towards /their/ bed.

Yesung had made a bit of a mess of the sheets, but it didn’t really matter, slipping onto the bed and waiting for Kyuhyun to join him, the younger man doing so easily, a motion well practiced. Within seconds he was pressed somewhere near Yesung’s side and the older man was busying himself straightening the comforter and spreading over their bodies. When he was finished, he easily snuggled up to Kyuhyun or at least he tried too, but Kyuhyun was already back to scanning the charts, his eyes glued to the device.

Yesung wanted to knock his head, but figured he ought to let it go.

The curiosity and nervousness was dangerous. Instead he just manoeuvred himself about a bit, fitting in the space that Kyuhyun left, nestling himself against his the younger man’s shoulder, snuggling against his arm, tugging the comforter even closer, his feet cold from the floor and the sheets cold as well, but soon they would be warm he knew, making sure that Kyuhyun was well covered and kept warm.

“Is it holding?” Yesung asked, curious as well and willing to let Kyuhyun know that he was just as interested in the songs charting even if he was annoying him and making him sleep.

Even if he was trying to draw his attention away and get him to sleep that did not mean that he didn’t have interest. Right about then, it was important that they prioritize and with his first solo event of that nature in a couple of hours, sleep was much more important.

“Still #1 and a chart closer to all kill” Kyuhyun informed him happily, infectious grin adorning his face

He turned to Yesung, only to find him that much closer to him than before, sorry instantly that he was back to ignoring him, but happy that he was at his side, literally and figuratively, smiling at the older man, and as a show of good will, useless as it was, he shut the Ipad off and placed it on the bedside table not too far away, turning to draw the man closer.

“Awesome” Yesung said, not as excited as before but clearly happy for Kyuhyun all the same, smile a little sleepy and warm, Kyuhyun frowning when he realized that Yesung also had work in a couple of hours and was losing valuable sleep due to Kyuhyun.

“Sorry for keeping you up” Kyuhyun apologized instantly, jumping topics, but he knew Yesung would be able to follow him, always a little oblivious but diligent when it came to understanding him and the jumps in topic very familiar to them, both having the type of mind to stray quickly.

“Don’t worry about it. I really don’t mind” Yesung dismissed sincerely.

It was not as if he would be able to sleep on a day like this anyway. If Kyuhyun was up then so would he. He was normally an insomniac anyway, so he lost sleep and was able to function on the bare minimum. He was more than happy to be there for Kyuhyun and there was no place he rather be, though he still wished Kyuhyun would get some sleep, at least for the sake of his voice.

“I wish you would get some sleep though” Yesung said, giving Kyuhyun a look, parts pleading, parts scolding, keeping his eyes on the younger man until Kyuhyun sighed.

“I’m too nervous, but I promise I will try” Kyuhyun said with a breath, shifting around to make himself comfortable and to induce sleep, not disagreeing with the older man at all, but still a little too jumpy to sleep very much.

 He had to try though, he knew he did.

To show his new resolve or really, just to feel comfortable, he snuggled up to the older man, Yesung shifting to accommodate him, Kyuhyun seemingly deciding that he needed to sleep on Yesung’s chest to rest, pushing the older man back against the bed gently and nestling himself against his chest.

“Don’t worry so much. The song is already doing really well and you will be wonderful at the concert. I know you will be. You’re an amazing singer.” Yesung assured delicately, already wrapping his hands around Kyuhyun’s shoulder and patting his back with the other, Kyuhyun’s hand sliding over him and at Yesung’s side, holding him close, the little possessiveness that always seemed to shine through from time to time as it did then.

“Better than you?”  Kyuhyun asked teasingly, though he tried very hard to make it seem earnest, biting back the smile that tugged at his lips.

“Don’t push it Brat” Yesung dismissed him immediately, whacking him gently behind the head as he rolled his eyes, swearing under his breath that Kyuhyun had lost his mind or something equally daft, Kyuhyun laughing for really this time, though it is low and sleepy, amused all the same, happy for so many reasons he could die on the spot.

He wanted to live though. He had so many dreams to accomplish as yet, especially getting to spend his life with Yesung.

Definitely that.

“Go to sleep” Yesung instructed when he finished his grumbles, though he did pinch Kyuhyun’s side for the comment, since everyone knew he was the best!!!

He had pride too.

Brat.

“Sing to me again” Kyuhyun commanded but it really was just a petulant request.

Yesung considered turning him down for being a brat but he did want Kyuhyun to sleep and even if it ended up being just for a short time, he was able to get Kyuhyun to sleep with the lullaby last time, so he figured he might as well do it again.

This time he chose one of the songs recorded from the yet to be released KRY album, soothing and warm and he knew Kyuhyun would remember the day they recorded it together, a time at the beginning of their relationship when it was uncertain looks and barely there brushes. He remembers the song and he remembered Kyuhyun and his feeling for him, mixed with his hopes for that very album in the months to come.

It’s all really just begun really.

Kyuhyun hummed in satisfaction, always envious of Yesung’s perfect voice and feeling even then, the song weaving through him and helping him rest, though always a little greedy, releasing Yesung just to grab the hand at his back and guide it to his head, releasing the small hand, Yesung getting the idea.

“You are too spoilt” Yesung commented when he paused the song, an amused song bubbling from his depths, though he held it back, diligently Kyuhyun’s hair even so, happy to do it honestly.

“Spoil me even more Hyung” Kyuhyun suggested or really just said lazily, the sleepiness finally creeping up on him, his mind satisfied that his song was charting well and nervousness fading a bit due to Yesung’s warmth and comfort, coupled with the general atmosphere, his body ready to give up honestly, stretched too thin and needing the sleep, happy to walk towards it now.

His words made Yesung laugh low in his throat.

“I will” Yesung promised even though he knew Kyuhyun probably couldn’t hear him anymore, fully intending to do just that.

Kyuhyun was his to spoil and adore anyway and he was more than happy to do that and more, his mind instantly racing a mile a minute trying to think about what could make Kyuhyun happy later in the day and an appropriate token of apology for not being able to be there for the concert.

He thought long and hard and dismissed a million ideas that were all good but not something he would be able to achieve in the limited time.

He wanted something that could make Kyuhyun laugh and make him happy and be a gift of sorts.

Ahhhhh…..the brat would like something like that wouldn’t he?

Probably.

He would regret though……and never live it down. Kyuhyun would laugh at him forever, but he would laugh and be happy and enjoy it, so maybe it would be worth it.

Still…..did he really love Kyuhyun enough to do that?

He wasn’t sure.

Fine.

He did.

This would be embarrassing.

******

Yesung phone beeped and he groaned.

Without even looking he knew who it was, expecting him sooner or later, having been spared so far, but unlikely to be for much longer. He wanted to bang his head against the desk repeatedly honestly and probably would have if he didn’t think it would more than likely lead to him just making a spectacle of himself. He already drew enough attention to himself with his weirdness and the fact that he used to be a really famous idol that performed in front of thousands of people every other weekend or so.

He had settled quite nicely he thought, no one really caring much for his presence, currently filling out some forms and trying to ignore his phone, his KKT filled with enough teasing messages to last him a lifetime.

He was very much minded to ignore his phone, but after it beeped for a sixth time, he figured he might as well get it over with anyway. The brat would have been busy with rehearsals and then the concert, but looking at the clock, he knew that he was finished with it.

There was no escaping him now.

 He had long steeled himself after his brain freeze and the eventual consequences of such rash actions to deal with enormous teasing and embarrassment, sincerely positive that no good deed went unpunished.

And his punishment was likely to take the form of a snarky annoying brat gloating that he finally had his vile wicked way.

Grrrrrhhhhhhhhhhhh……..

You see why it was best not to make life changing decisions at three o clock in the morning? And then go about fulfilling them at four o’ clock when you were half way asleep and drunken on affection for spoilt teasing brats that wanted you to show love and appreciation.

He really wanted to give the brat a little pick me up and a gift of sorts.

It was not necessarily something that Kyuhyun had actually said he wanted, but it was a bit of a running joke between then, the younger man always implying that Yesung would be a pretty girl etc, insisting that Yesung really let their fans call them “Kyusung”.

 ………it was “Yekyu” ….seriously!!

He saw the edit earlier in the day and had laughed a bit and then shook his head and hissed his teeth, since Kyuhyun was so much more girly than he was honestly.

Or really?

Oh shut up!!

I am not the one that crossdresses regularly Ms. Something!

What? I was smoking hot……..better than Minho anyway.

I thought Minho was really pretty actually, but Yunho says that Changmin ah was the prettiest…his long legs did look amazing though, I still prefer Minho's-

You’re dead!!

So….they maybe had this sort of conversation before, no real argument on their parts honestly, just minded to defend their masculinity. It was no big deal, but it was a sort of tug of war.

That was why it was a gift. Yesung was yielding a little, admitting that he was willing to embarrass himself for Kyuhyun, to show that he had matured enough to shallow his pride.

And it was not totally unrelated, intending also to assure his fans that he was well and was fully in support of Kyuhyun and his solo release. It was no secret that there was always some tension between his fans and Kyuhyun’s, but he knew it generally came from a place of love, both sides just wanting to ensure that he and Kyuhyun were okay, that they were happy and respected and loved.

Sometimes he wished that they were concerned not just with his Or Kyuhyun’s happiness, but rather if they were willing to strive for his AND Kyuhyun’s happiness.

It was a nice thought, but harder to implement and maybe impossible.

He personally wanted to assure his fans though, to ensure they knew that he was happy for Kyuhyun and that they should be too, not suspecting them of ill, just that they might have been a little jealous on his behalf. He didn’t blame them entirely, since he really was a little jealous.

His affection for Kyuhyun however outweighed his own jealousy and as the pictures demonstrated, they were in this together, he and Kyuhyun both.

Kyuhyun happiness would be his happiness and Kyuhyun’s success, was really…….Kyuhyun’s success, but it would definitely make him happy to see it.

Or………..he really was daft and had just invited endless teasing for his bad insane choice of photos.

That was probably it honestly.

Sometimes he really did think he was an idiot.

That picture basically proved it.

Sigh.

He was certain he would be dying off embarrassment and wanting to kill himself in a few seconds.

He could only really avoid it for so long honestly. And it was not as if he had been spared so far anyway, the others already chipping in with their own taunts and teasing, Donghae in Europe, yet still having the time to seen  him a few emoticons of him winking and then laughing his off. Eunhyuk was the same, just much worse, promising to laugh at him for eternity, waiting for his return from Europe with his family.

Kangin had already taken the piss out of him and he had maybe ……probably…totally…. blocked him from KK T and other messaging apps……….just until he stopped laughing at him!!

Which might be never at this rate.

[I still look much better as a girl than that Neanderthal anyway …pffffff]

He would never let it live it down. Honestly…..

 Oh Dear God………

Heechul was the absolute worst!

He could still hear his banshee like laughter ringing in his ear, the bastard calling him from Japan just to screech in his ear and then also have his turn at taking the piss out of him as well.

Like he was one to talk about ‘dignity and self-respect’…phffff.

[And he is lucky I don’t like crossdressing……..I am even prettier than he is …….hehehehe]

He picked up the phone with resignation, dragging his courage to read the messages.

The first the customary emoticon of laugher, Yesung already dying form embarrassment, shivering from it all, promising himself that he would smack the taste out of Kyuhyun’s mouth for being a brat ……if the shame did not kill Yesung first of course.

The other messages were just him demanding Yesung respond to him, so naturally Yesung didn’t.

Twenty dings later Yesung reconsidered.

Ten minutes after he finally did.

“Don’t you even dare!!”

Bastard better not!

He didn’t listen though. He never did.

 “Awwww…Don’t be embarrassed Hyung”

[How can you not be tho? ………kekekeke]”

“I loved it!!”

“You’re definitely my most favourite “Gamer”  ever …..

“Such dedication…such commitment…and so pretty too…”

“The perfect “wife” really ;)”

…..I am going to enjoy this so much Hyung….kekeke”

Bastard didn’t even know how to say thanks.

And Yesung vehmenently raised objections to the content

He was in no way a Gamer!!

…..he had better taste in idols to be quite frank….Perfection ~

Not stupid annoying teasing ungrateful Brats!!! …pfffff.

Yesung groaned.

This is why you should not brainstorm at 3 o’ clock in the morning.

And then using SNS at 4am when you were too tired and restless and stupidly in love to use your brain and not your ridiculous adoring affection to a dumb koala that clung to you in the most adorable way ever!!

Kyuhyunnie is so cute tho….how can you not love him??

………..Maybe he really was a fan…….

Someone shoot him now.

Grrrrrhhhhhhhhhh.

“I hate you!!!!!!”

“Love you too Hyung”

A/N: Grrhhhh…was supposed to post this earlier, but Taekwoon….and yeah…distractions….LOL

I am not even going to comment on the fact that Yesung posted this on his twitter, since it’s been days and my mind is still just  ---OH DEAR GOD!!! DID THAT HAPPEN?? IS THIS REAL?? ASDFGHJJL!!!

Just reminding everyone to continue to support Kyuhyun. Please watch his MV and use these hashtags on SNS etc. This week is an important week for him. Please do support him!

Not really back to writing, but I couldn't let this event past without Kyusung ^^

The Original pic btw[ he cropped it]  ----------STILL DYING.