written 110714
edited 251014

"Let go of me. You'll be happier without me."

"I can't. How can I be happy without you?"

"You can. Just pretend we never loved before."

//

He stares at the wall, countless words running through his mind. Slowly, he strings them together, bit by bit, until he forms a song. It's the same kind of lyrics he has been writing since their break-up. The kind that recounts a sad love story, a heart-wrenching kind of pain, and a hole in his heart that cannot be filled up.

No one can replace her.

He loved her so much. He wonders why she doesn't want to be with him anymore. He thinks of several scenarios, but none fit the bill. He is clueless as to why she returned his heart that he gave so willingly to her. As their love dies, a part of him dies alongside it.

Emotions overwhelm him and he picks up him phone to dial the number he knows by hard. As always, she ignores his call and he is directed to her voicemail that he knows she will never listen to. He knows her just that well. He listens to her sweet voice telling him that she is currently unavailable.

Thirty-five months, twenty-three days. Just seven days shy of their third anniversary. That is how long they were together, but now that bridge is burned.

 

Why am I still unable to forget you like a fool
Why am I still a good person to you
It's already been a few months since we broke up
Why am I still living in the past memories

There are lots of good people around me
I know it's okay to start a new love
I sincerely hope you will smile and be happier without me.

Why did I call you again when you cruelly sent me away?
You ignore the sad cries you hear behind the closed doors.
You've already become cold, no more heat to share with me.
No longer the person I can lean on.

I tell myself to wash you away with tears but I can't erase the lingering feelings in my heart.
I know you're not someone worth being hurt over and you're no longer with me like before.
You didn't want to lie, saying that you're sending me off because you love me.
You simply left me without a single goodbye.

I know you can't come back, and you can be happy without me.
Why did I call you again when you cruelly sent me away?
You ignore the sad cries you hear behind the closed doors.
You've already become cold, no more heat to share with me.
No longer the person I can lean on.

I can't stop, even as time goes by.
I want to live on well so that you can see I'm fine without you.
I erased all of my emotions, but I couldn't erase you.
I don’t want to ruin myself anymore
Love, in the end is a lie to just one person.
I rip you out from inside my heart while letting out a silent scream
I’m erasing the after images that are floating around.
Burning up the remaining memories up to the sky, but there’s nowhere to run from you

If I hold onto you, it hurts
But if I let you go, it hurts even more
Saying that I’ll forget you
Is all a lie that remains in me
Your face spreads throughout my heart again
It hurts even more than before
I think I miss you even more
I think it’s even more dangerous

Why did I call you again when you cruelly sent me away?
You ignore the sad cries you hear behind the closed doors.
You've already become cold, no more heat to share with me.
No longer the person I can lean on.

If I can stay together with you forever in my dreams
I don't want to face up to reality
I just want to feel you  in my arms again
Your laughter is haunting me every night
Reminding me that you and me
We're just a forgotten memory.

 

He pauses, the urge to see her was too overpowering. Every song he writes, the pain seems to increase as he thinks back to the memories shared. He presses a hand to his chest, hoping to relieve the ache.

::

Even though it is raining, he stands outside her apartment building, allowing the rain to drench him completely.

Cold.

He feels cold without her. He ignores the slight tremors and trembles. He is strong, he can withstand it just to see her.

Finally, he spots that familiar figure, but she is not alone. She is sharing her umbrella with another man, another man that is not him. He feels his life being away as he stares at her laughing. Incredulity surrounds him. How could she not feel sad after breaking up with him? Even after six days, he is still hurting.

His phone beeps.

12 am.

--

Guess the lyrics mashup. 
I edited some parts but I took them from two songs and added in some of my own.

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