When it's time, you have to say goodbye
It's the law of mother nature and no matter how much you oppose it, you have to play along.

Sehun has learned all these by the time Luhan slapped the reality right onto his face.

That night, there was no moon in the sky. The very little light, the thousands of stars could illuminate, barely emmitted the darkness of the night. Still, it could've been catagorized as something beautifull. Sehun would've considered the soft light of the countless stars in the darkness, beautifull.

BUT, at that very moment Sehun couldn't. The darkness that night felt too disturbing.

In fact the neon light coming from the lamp post, Sehun was currently standing under could engulf a very tiny bit of darkness over all and it wasn't enough- the way it seemed like to Sehun.

To be honest, Sehun coldn't really find any light at all. Let it be for his mind not working properly. No matter how much he tried, he couldn't find a way to get out of there or find a tiny bit source of light. He felt like swimming in the darkness.

Sehun was standing under a lamp post on a walkway. The dim neon light giving them slight idea of their surrounding. Even though he was wearing his fevourite leather jacket, he felt like the cold wind was blowing right through his bones. The light drizzle wasn't helping either.

Was it even normal drizzling in this time?

Oh well...nothing really seemed normal to Sehun anymore.

Everything that was happening felt like a nightmere.

There Luhan was. His dearest one. The love of his life standing right infront of him, gazing somewhere indefinite. 'What was his Xiao Lu pondering about?'- He wondered.

How much Sehun wished to have that beautiful man right beside him for the rest of his life.

Well.... Who was he kidding? How could he think of going on with such funny dreams of his? Sure, everyone has their own dreams to go on in life but surely not as weird as Sehun's. His dream was weird, funny, odd and above all, it was only a dream that could never become true. He was bound to be woken up from that dream of his.

He was well aware of that day to come and take everything he had, away from him. He very well aware.

So what?

Could he stil stop himself from trying to blame it upon Luhan for not stoppong all those marriage and just cling onto him?

No.

Why?

Because..... he was a human being after all. The very homo-sapiens that species is full of perfection just as much as flaws.

Though he knew that he would never end up with Luhan, nothing really could stop him from wanting it more and more intensly day by day. Without his own realization he was putting more glitteries on his already sparkling dream where only one thing existed and that was a beautiful creature called Luhan.

Then when it was time, he had to let everything go and play along with the mother nature.

"Sehun." The soft angelic voice pulled Sehun's attention. He eagerly looked at Luhan wishing there must had something that Luhan could do to stop all those s. Sehun tried to see the man's angelic face but the neon light above them wasn't helping at all.

"Lets end it here." The tiny voice spoke up again, almost shattering Sehun's throbing heart into pieces.

"Luhannie, can't we- "

Sehun-ah, you know." The same angelic voice stopped him from saying anything further.
Of course, Sehun knew. They had nothing to do. Sehun could do nothing but endure the killer pain in his heart and watch while Luhan go on with his family instructions, marry the pretty girl thay had arranged and make a family of his own.
No matter how much Sehun would want to ignore it, one day he'd have to do the same and he knew, there'd be no escape from there.

Just as Luhan stated, Sehun knew all these very well. But did it stop him from feeling betrayed? Did it prevent him from being angry at Luhan for not doing anything? For not fighting for their love?
No.
However, at the end, everything was the same. There was no escape from that cruelty of losing Luhan for good.

Because, that's the reality. The very cruell reality he could never fight against.
Because, that whole thing wasn't a fairy tale where he could just go off shouting- 'hey! I'm a gay and this boy over here is the one and only love of my life. We're gonna get married. Stop us if you can.'
Because, neither Sehun nor Luhan could stop the mother nature. There were just too much of withholders and reality to go all couragious and heroic.

So, just like that, with a very few countable words uttered between them, everything was over.
Their dippy dream to be together was coffined up.

Sehun watched as darkness slowly engulfed Luhan's retreating figure along with his own biggest source of light of love and hope. Sehun's heart twisted in pain as he could hardly recognise the verry hyper ,energetic, always happy boy's back figure with those slender arms slowly and lifelessly dangling on his either side with every step taken.

Oh! How much Sehun wanted to pull that figure in a bone crushing hug.
But, alas! He couldn't. Not anymore.

Not when that was the very time for him to say goodbye.

"Goodbye, my love." Sehun whispered with various emotions swarming in his heart. Against the sound of blowing wind and drizzling, his tiny whisper was barely audible.

What was he feeling?
Sadness? Anger? Disappointment? Broken?
Probably all of them.

It was drizzling
And we were standing under a street lamp
Face to face
You were cruel- too cruel
It was the cruelest among all other cruelty to kill my zenith high love for you
That was the day I felt my world crushing into pieces
That was the day when I felt most miserable,
Under a neon light.
My eyes were sowllen and teary
Cause baby, you just uttered the words
I could bear barely-
"Lets say goodbye"
Was that what what you wanted,
When for the first time, our fingers entertwinned?
Was that what you wanted,
When for the first time, our lips met?

You weren't looking into my eyes like all the other time.
Was it because, in your eyes there was something-
Something that you didn't want to let me see?
Your frail shoulders were shaking slightly,
May be you were cold.
Why did you have to say those words?

Cause for the first time I was too dazed to wrap my cardigan around your tiny body.

How can I be warm-
When you're shivering in coldness?
Now say,
How can I smile- When you're not there to anticipate?

The street light was going off now and then,
The tiny droplets of rain was growing harder and harder with each word you uttered,
I could barely keep up with-
"Lets say goodbye"
Was that what you wanted,
When for the first time our fingers intertwined?
Was that what you wanted,
When for the first time our lips met?

You weren't looking into my eyes,
Trying so hard to hide them.
But because you can't hide anything from me,
I saw them.
Were they tears-
Your tears that stabs my heart like thousands of knife?
You were slowly walking away

after letting me read your glistening eyes for the last time
I couldn't say a word,
I couldn't let you go either
BUT...I had to.
Baby because-
I LOVE YOU.
Baby because-
The words written by the gathering tears in your eye were
Crystal clear to me-
You still love me.

So, I'll let you go,
Let you free,
I wasn't feeling too much suffocated as before
Cause I know-
You still love me even though you want me to say-
Goodbye

Okay,
If that was what you wanted-
Lets say goodbye.

_______________

A/N: Hey there~ . So, how was it? I know it wasn't that much of a nice one. I just wanted to pour my feelings of hunhan separation :-( . That's it. But I'd still love to read your comments and conversate with you, you know? Then comment and also subscribe and upvote, may be? :-)Thank you very much. I love you all. :-*

-SWARNA *^_^*