The Moment of Loving You

 

I stared at myself in front of the mirror. I indeed looked so handsome in this suit. I still couldn’t believe that this day would eventually come.

“Ready, Donghae?”

I didn’t realize I spaced out in front of the mirror until Siwon’s voice wake me up. I turned my head to him and nodded my head. Here we go. I’m ready today; I’m ready to meet him again.

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I would tell you the story of my young age. The story would start back in 2000. He was the new transfer student from Goyang-gi. He came all the way to Mokpo for the sake of his dad’s business. He was really quite, smart, and kind of nerd. I was the other way around, delinquent boy who never took care of studying. I didn’t bully, silly no. That was not typically me. I was just disturbing all of them I found weird. All the teachers hated me for doing that, but they didn’t really do anything to me. Junior high school had been the very first moment I became that delinquent. Year 2000 was the time of my second grade.

Actually, I didn’t meet him at school. I was just wondering around the town when I first met him in that convenience store at that fateful night. I was about to get cola when I grabbed his hand accidently. He startled a bit and then looked at me. He yanked away my hand. I was so shocked about his behavior. I wondered why man could be that shy just because of someone—other man—touching him. He then walked away but halted only to turn back. He didn’t look at me who still looked at him in amused. He quickly grabbed whatever he could grab in the display machine and back to walk away again.

I chuckled to myself. ‘What the hell is wrong with that man?’ Was my first impression of him. I quickly brushed him off my mind after that. Yet, the next day, I didn’t know that I would meet him again, though.  The class had started when my friends and I laughed about something so random. That was how we always disturbing smart people, by distracting them. The teacher had yet to come so we had enough time to be once again ‘naughty boys’.

The door was opened abruptly by the so-horrible-look of my English teacher slash homeroom teacher. She appointed her old finger to me.

“You and your friends, stop the noise, now. Your voice echoed through the corridor, don’t you know?”

In fact, we knew that very well. I just shrugged my shoulder at her statement. I couldn’t care less, Madame. She shook her head because of it but then she cleared .

“Now, class, before we start the lesson for today I would like to introduce you our new friend. You, come on in!” she looked at the door and then he entered. He was the very same boy in the convenience store from the night before. He confidently went in. His aura was cold, I meant he was kind of distant and well, I didn’t know. There was just something a bit different with the previous him.

“Come on. Greet your friends.” That English teacher asked him. He nodded his head a bit and faced the other student. His head was down when for the first time, he talked.

“Annyeonghaseyo, Lee Hyukjae imnida. I’m from Goyang-gi. Please, take care of me.”

 That was it. A very short and simple introduction from him. The class was ‘awing’ at him. Hmm, honestly speaking, he was better in appearance compare to the whole class. He was simply perfect.  Maybe because he came from the place which was more sophisticated. I didn’t know.

“Is there any question to your new friend, class?”

I raised my hand. The teacher sighed to know it. He looked a bit shocked to know me and I just smirked at him. Well, there was actually nothing happened between us but he made it seem as though there was.

“Yes, Donghae?”

“ Lee Hyukjae-ssi. What kind of person are you? The shy one or the aggressive one, huh?” my friends laughed at my question and then joined me to .

“You’re too beautiful. May I know where your saloon is?”

“Are all boys from Goyang-gi just as beautiful as you? I don’t mind being gay, then.”

“Yayayaya. Stop all that nonsense. Donghae, what kind of question was that?”

I knew very much that this homeroom teacher of mine was really annoyed at my behavior. I just didn’t know why she always blamed on me.

“What? I just ask normal question. The other questions were weirder than mine.” I defended myself. I said it while looking at him. He just looked at the floor.

“How is that considered normal? Your question is absurd.”

“It’s not only me who—”

“You and your friends are the same. Besides, it’s you who started all of this. Now, you, you, and you. Get out of this class and meet me after the class.”

“But…”

“No buts. Go!” she shouted at us. I didn’t believe it. I got the detention again only in the beginning of the day just because of a certain boy who didn’t even want to look at me. What was I? Trash? Was I that disgusting even he didn’t want to share a look? I cursed him a lot in my mind and began to hate him.

I and my friends—Kyuhyun and Siwon—went out of the class. We all went to the rooftop. Kyuhyun and Siwon were all okay with that. But not me. I didn’t know why, but I was so upset. It was not the detention but it was him who made me upset. Kyuhyun poked my shoulder.

“What’s up, huh?”

“Dunno.”

“Hey, we’re your friends, right? Tell us if something bothered you!”

“That Hyukjae guy. He made me upset” I told the truth to them. They were kind of shocked because of it.

“Actually, I don’t know what makes you upset of him. He didn’t do anything to you. And, damn, man. He’s beautiful. He’s even prettier than the girls. Right, Siwon?”

“Yeah. Doesn’t change the fact he’s a boy, dude.”

“Couldn’t care less. I’m bi for him. Hahaha.” Kyuhyun laughed at his silly statement. I tsk-ed at them. They didn’t make it better.

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Days after that, I just found that he was really smart. He was number one in his previous school—said my teacher. I became much more upset. He was the typical person that I didn’t like, a lot. We didn’t talk at all after that first day. Well, we actually never talked at all. It was one sided, without any answer. And even though I hated people like him. I didn’t disturb him. Not at all…

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Two years had passed ordinarily. We were now in first grade of high school. Two years passed without any special thing happened. Unfortunately, I always—had the same school and the same class with Hyukjae. And still, we didn’t talk. Siwon and Kyuhyun were different, though. The only similarity of those two friends of mine was that both of them had a huge crush on Hyukjae. One year and half they tried to approach him. Man, they were crazy. So many girls, yet they chose a boy.

I said I’m bi for him—reasoned Kyuhyun.

I’m touched by his beauty. What could I do?—reason Siwon.

Hyukjae didn’t seem to come around, yet they didn’t give up. They still did silly things to get Hyukjae’s heart. I just couldn’t care less. To hell with it.

But one chalk and one scold later, it changed everything.

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I was sleeping when that chalk hit my head. I was being forced to wake up.

“What the hell?” I asked my teacher.

“Yah, watch your mouth. Who asks you to sleep in class?”

“I’m sleepy. Can’t I sleep?”

“If you want to sleep, then just go home!”

“Find. I’ll go home.” I was about to carry my bag when my teacher hit my head with her little hand.

“LEE DONGHAE!”

“What?” I was so annoyed at her. First, she hit me with a chalk, and then, she hit me with her hand. I was being bullied by my own teacher.

“I don’t know what to do anymore with you.” She shook her head hopelessly.

“You just have to not look at me. That will be fine.”

She sighed lowly, “How could I? You’re my student. I should take care of you.” Tsk…

“I don’t need it. I don’t care.”

“But I do, Donghae.”

“….”

“Lee Hyukjae.” He froze. He must be wondering why all of sudden he was called by the teacher. He didn’t have anything to do with it. I was also wondering, though. Kyuhyun and Siwon seemed shocked to the situation. And Hyukjae, being the polite boy he was, turned his head around and answered ‘yes’ to her.

“Come here!” she motioned her to come close in my table. Hyukjae did what was told to him. I looked at the teacher.

“Why did you ask him to come here?”

“Shut up!”

“Yah, seongsaeng-nim.”

“I said shut up!”

Hyukjae was then in front of me.

“Yeah, seongsaeng-nim?” he asked the teacher.

“You now have to help me watch him out. He will now, sit in front of you. It will make you easier to do it. Understand?”

Hyukjae stared at her in disbelieve. He back and forth looked at me and the teacher. He seemed very reluctant but couldn’t deny it. So, he only nodded his head in the end.

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The day after, I really sat in front of him.

“What kind of bad luck I have to sit in here?”

He had to be hearing me so he spoke…

“I should be the one saying that.” I was surprised, he talked to me. I turned around to face him.

“Yah. Don’t you get tired of being teacher’s boy? Study and stuff, don’t you find it boring?”

“No. But I’m tired of listening to you. Stop talking and be a good boy now, will you?” he said without looking at me. I was so upset this time. How could he act as if I was nothing? .

I stood up and slammed his table. Hard. He startled then looked at me.

“W-what are you—“

“You, stop being so ing annoying!” I said to him.

“Lee Donghae, stop it.” Always on time, that teacher of mine. I sat again only to face that PMS-ing look from my teacher. Someone didn’t feeling well that day.

“Let’s start the class. Bring out your book, open page one hundred forty.” She said in perfect English. I was about to take my book out of my bag when I heard Hyukjae murmuring something. It seemed like he forgot to bring his book.

To be able witnessing Hyukjae in such terrible condition was probably the funniest thing. He would be so embarrassed. The straight A student like him forgot to bring book. Unbelievable! The teacher seemed to notice him. She didn’t really feel well it seemed.

“Those who didn’t bring the book, please stand up!”

And it happened in one second. I was the one who stood up. He was the one brought the book. The teacher looked at me.

“What do you think you’re doing, Donghae? If you don’t want to bring book, why bother coming to school? It’s not a place to eat, it’s a place to study, you stupid!” she yelled at me. I knew very well that Hyukjae looked at me too in disbelieve. How could he not? Even I didn’t believe what I’d done myself.

“I’m sorry, seongsaeng-nim.” I said lowly.

“You, go to the field, run twenty times and then come back to class. Now!” without saying anything, I did it.

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I was eating ramen when he approached me. He touched my shoulder with a book. I turned around to look at him.

“What?”

“I-I..”

“You what?

“This book is yours.” He handed me the book from earlier. It was indeed my book.

“Is that all? Can I have my ramen now?”

He nodded. I was about to eat my ramen when he touched my shoulder again, with his pen.

“What?”

“Thank you.”

“What did you say?”

“I said…thank you”

He blushed. Oh my God he blushed just by saying that word. How shy could this man be?

“Yeah. Okay. Go now, I want to eat.”

“Wait.”

“Arrgh, what now?”

“This.” He handed me a book again.

“This is not mine.” I said.

“Obviously.”

“So?”

“Do the task that I’ve marked.”

“Why the hell should I?”

“I want to help you.”

“Help me?”

“I want to help you with your score, Donghae.” That was the first time he called my name.

“I don’t need that.”

“You need that.”

“Stop looking at me that low, Hyukjae. Only because you are smart doesn’t mean that—“

“I don’t mean it that way. I, never once, look at you as a low people. It’s just that I hate your behavior for looking at people who study like they are some sick people. For you who don’t know why we did that, to do that kind of behavior, is very rude, Donghae. And I don’t like it.” After saying that, he looked at me for awhile and left. I was left dumbfounded.

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I didn’t believe that I actually did the task he gave me. I knew I didn’t do well, but still, I did the task. He seemed not to believe it either. But he smiled knowing me doing the task.

“What?”

“It’s just that I don’t believe it.”

“Believe what?”

“You couldn’t do eight out of ten questions, Donghae. What would your future be, then?”

“Yah, I don’t need logarithm to stay alive, you know?”

“I know. But you absolutely need to understand logarithm to get better score to pass high school, you know?”

My jaw dropped. I couldn’t believe he could make me silent by his words. Damn.

“This is another task you should do. I made some easy formula to you. If you read it, I’m sure you will understand and get better score this time.”

“Why did you do that?”

“Do what?”

“Helping me. Why?”

“Your scores are terrible.”

“So are Kyuhyun’s and Siwon’s.”

“Their scores aren’t that bad.”

“Hey.”

“What?”

“Even though they are my best friends, doesn’t mean that I also like you, Hyukjae.”

“I know. I don’t think you do either.”

“Then, do you like me?”

“What?”

“There must be a reason behind your kindness, right?”

“I just want to help you. As a friend maybe?”

“Why do you want to be my friend so suddenly?”

“…”

“…”

“…”

“Hyukjae. Why?”

“It’s just…that I think you are not that bad.”

“Pardon?”

“You helped me.”

“If that is your reason, I’ll tell you that you don’t owe me anything. It’s fine.”

“What do you mean?”

“I want you to stop like you care about me if in fact, you just feel like you owe me a favor.”

“I don’t feel like that.”

“Then what?”

“I don’t know. Stop asking me question, Donghae.”

“You must really like me, right?”

“I don’t.”

“You do.”

“I said I don’t.”

“But you like me.”

“Whatever.” He blushed a lot and then walked away from me. I laughed at his behavior. But then, I stopped myself. Why? Why did I have so much fun in teasing a person I used to hate? Why did I feel suddenly so comfortable around him?

Just why did I like the idea of him liking me, actually?

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TBC

Short story from me again. It will be two shots. Or three shots at max. The rest part is still ongoing. So, do you like it??

This story is inspired by something, though. Could you guess?

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