When the beat dropped and the harsh, almost blinding, spotlight shone upon him, he would transform into someone else entirely.

He would immerse himself completely in the music, allowing his body take control while he effortlessly belts out the lyrics which are deeply embedded in his mind.

Anyone who observed carefully would agree that he was born for the stage. His impeccable dance moves were always executed with such skill and precision, and his voice – his honey vocals – always, always impressed. His unmistakable fiery passion radiated, and touched the depths of the souls of everyone present. It was an absolute joy to watch him, the feelings were simply indescribable.

But to him, performing had long become a form of escapade. It allowed him to forget his pains and troubles, albeit temporary. And more importantly, it filled up the void within him… it was only then where he could breathe once again. The enthusiastic screams of the fans were deafening, but they were not heard by him. It was only on stage where he could be elevated to another psychological realm – where he could be at peace with himself again. Maybe it was unhealthy, considering how emotionally dependent he was on these short periods of relief. But that was the least of his concerns – it was his driving force and emotional stabiliser.

It was a necessity.

It was the reason for his existence. 

There are days when he looks into the mirror, and he no longer recognises the man staring back at him. It was as though all the exhaustion that continued to weigh him down manifested physically – the dark eye bags, deep tired lines and the lack of a healthy flush were sure signs of it.

Nonetheless, he relentlessly soldiered on. He would not allow himself to lose sight of his goal and continued to chase after his heart’s desires. To him, there were no in-betweens. It was either a success or a failure. When the music strayed away from what he originally intended, his ears would hate it. But on the other hand, if the music was exactly how he dreamed it would be, he would put it on loop and lose himself in the beauty of it.

That was how he defined music; that was how music defined him. Music and him; they were synonymous and strictly belonged to the same dichotomy.  

Without a doubt, sometimes his passions would turn into monsters within him – and they always created an emotional turmoil, entrapping him. And other times, he felt lost and helpless, unsure of how much fighting spirit he had left. These were days that scared him the most, and would momentarily weaken his resolve. But these moments were mostly fleeting. Perhaps it took a prayer, or some quiet time to recollect his thoughts. He made sure to re-surface from the sea of uncertainty, for he knew it would only be disastrous to keep drowning. He had to float. No, he had to swim as fast as he could, so as to achieve.

He held onto the simple belief that as though as he remained true to himself, all would be fine. He would ignore the naysayers, and although making compromises were not ideal, he knew it was the only panacea.

And with that, he held on.

Just as how the sun never fails to rise every day, even after the darkest nights.

4 years on, RISE was finally released on 2^nd June 2014. “…it’s an album that holds my emotions, memories and musical values that I have felt and gained in the last four years while I was working on it.” – Taeyang (2014)

∞

“잠시 만개했다 지는 벚꽃이면 어떠하리 그 순간의 아름다움은 영원하거늘 훗날 우리의 인생도 그러하리 눈물흘릴지언정 좌절치 말며 그리워할지언정 지난날에 얽매이지 않기를” –동영배

[Translation by @BIGBANGGisVIP]

Who cares if the cherry blossoms are in full bloom for only a short while and then fall off
The beauty of that moment lasts forever
Hope our lives in the future will be like that too
Not being discouraged even when we shed tears
And not being tied down by our past even when we miss the old times