The memory of that day is still clear in his Seokjin’s mind. His last words still linger in his thoughts “You should go, I don’t want to be with you anymore, and you have no reason to stay here”. Your expression, the look on your eyes still haunts him. He hurt you, he broke your heart, and he did it for you, even if no one understands. Seokjin had no choice; he could never let you sacrifice your future for him. Sitting on his couch, like every day at this same time for the past 2 years, he thinks of the words you said to him:

“I finally had a reason for us to stay together, but I guess I’m on my own now….”  Just like that, you walked away. And the same questions cross his mind once again

“Where are you?”

“Are you doing well?”

 “What was the meaning behind your words? “

“Will he ever see you again?”

“Why did he let you go?”

It hurts. It hurts his body and soul to know you are not there anymore. And it hurts even more when he realizes it’s his entire fault. Seokjin hears his phone ring, lazily answering it without bothering to see who is calling. “What’s the point anyways?”  He thinks. He knows it’s not you.

-Hello?

-Jin hyung, are you ok? - The sudden question takes him by surprise

-You saw me two days ago, why wouldn’t I be?

-Oh…. No reason, just wondering that’s all.

But Seokjin won’t buy it

-Hoseok, you are lying to me, you are hiding something, now spit it out-

-Hyung I’m not hiding anything I just…

-Hoseok stop wasting my ing time and tell me already! - He hears him sigh on the other side of the line.

- I thought you would know by now… she came back…

Silence

-What?

- I talked to her brother yesterday; he told me she got here a few days ago.

-Where is she?

-Jin hyung, I don’t think…

-WHERE IS SHE? - He is losing it, nothing matters right now. He MUST see you.

-She is staying at her parents’ house. But hyung there’s something…..

He hangs up and runs out of his apartment, not bothering to change his clothes, not caring about the looks people are giving him. There’s only one thing in his mind now: YOU, his love, his life, the one he should never let go of the one that got away.

  Standing outside of your house, he thinks of the right words to say. What could he possibly do to fix his mistake? But he hopes that you still love him, that you will forgive him, you MUST forgive him. Slowly, he opens the front gate and for a moment he stops. He can hear your voice and he follows it, making his way to the back yard, the same yard where you shared your first kiss.

 Seokjin finally sees you. You have your back towards him and he hears you laughing. The sound he missed the most. It’s like he can’t remember how to breathe. Bringing out all the courage in him, he is about to make his way towards you, but freezes on the spot when he sees someone approach you slowly, you embrace that person in a hug.

It’s a little boy… and looks just like him.

 Seokjin’s phone vibrates on his pocket. It’s a text from Hoseok.

“Hyung, do not go see her. Apparently she is with someone else now, she is happy, she has a son. And if you see him… you will feel even more regret. I’m sorry to say this but, let her be happy Jin Hyung; you need to let her go”

But it’s too late. He already saw him and realization hit his mind faster than anything. Quietly backing away towards the gate, he leaves you behind. Finally understanding what you meant with your last words. Why didn’t you tell him? Guilt takes over his body. The face of his son your son stuck in his mind. “She is with someone else now” Is that true? Anger rises “But maybe then she didn’t have to go through that alone” he thinks and somehow he calms down a little.

But the pain is still there and he can’t help but repeat to himself “I deserve this”

Seokjin walks and walks, without any knowledge of where he is heading, grateful of the rain that started falling and hoping that maybe, just maybe, no one will notice the tears in his eyes…