"Today is a big day you know!" I felt more pressure on my face, twisted around and around and prodded with fingers until I felt my cheeks go sore. 
"Stop that!" I swung my arm without looking around me and made contact with a hard object before hearing it crash to the floor. After hearing the groans I peered from under my sleeping mask at what fell over. 
A slow groaning RapMon picked himself up off the floor, though I didn't feel a pang of guilt for hitting him. 
"Today's that interview you know," he sat on the edge of my bed and rubbed his lower shoulder. Must've been where I hit him. "I think you've gotten plenty beauty sleep mr." 
Rapmon seemed very laid back today, of course he would. Though there was an interview, our schedule was relatively clear and he especially had the opportunity to relax and take a break from composing, which I highly doubted he would actually do. In the end I got up and joined the other boys who were playing video games and going over outfits for the interview. 
"Morning," I greeted the group. For the first time since I had joined BTS it felt a little like how it used to at my own home. Spring-time, a cool breeze from an open window, cloudless and sunny. Everyone seemed happy and calm, and when they replied good morning back I could hear them all so much more relaxed than they had been for the past week. I like to call that time "initiation week", where I am freshly entered into the BTS program and start my first day at camp hoping that the directors like me. Oh but what kind of analogy is that for a Kpop band? 
I helped myself to a bowl of cereal and milk and sat down next to Jin who had made himself, Jimin, and Suga an omelette. V was playing a new street fighter game, and it was only once I settled down that I noticed that Jungkook was nowhere to be seen. 
"Where's Kookie?" I asked, I was used to seeing him everyday now, and a day without him made me a bit sad.
Jin answered, "he went to school today, he'll be back for the interview, but he thought he should check in especially with his english teacher. He took the notes you made him too." 
"Woah, really?" I scratched my forehead and thought about a Jungkook that could speak fluent English. It made me giggle to imagine such a silly thing, he would sound strange, I concluded and proceeded to let a peaceful silence set in. 
'Can you feel my love when I'm not there? Can you feel my arms around you in the cold? Do you want to listen to the silence forever with me?' "Hmmm, mmmm," I thought about lyrics to music which I hadn't done for months. 
My train of thought was forced to a halt when Yoongi's voice rang out in the noise of V's clicking buttons. 
"So today, when you answer their questions, answer truthfully, but only with as much information as you need to get by." I cocked my head at him.
"Me?" 
"Yes you," he replied. "Once the media gets into your personal life it never leaves. Don't give them too much or they might jump into your personal affairs."
"Oh... Thanks Hyung." I scratched the back of my neck, not that I was too worried about the interview. More that I was anxious to be on tv in front of many critical people. 
"Anyways, I'm really happy for you." 
I was surprised, Yoongi was happy for me? He never really shared much more than his simple opinion, but not what he deeply felt. "Really Hyung? Thank you!" I smiled like a dork and couldn't hold it back. 
He chuckled and smiled as well, "of course," he seemed truly happy. "I wasn't sure if you'd be able to handle all of this. I expected you to be even more tired than us, I thought you might even quit, but you showed me wrong. I'm really happy to see that you have such a passion for the music and not just the fame." Jin, Jimin, V, and Rapmon smiled and nodded too. 
"Oh wow," I hugged my knees and rested my chin on them, "I haven't even come close to writing a song though..." I'd never been praised by them, my idols, my elders, like that in any way. It was embarrassing, but deep down, I loved the compliments.
"But you're always humming, singing, and listening to music during your own time," Rapmon added in. "Don't think I can't hear you when you sing to the radio or when you're in the shower," the boys laughed when I threw a floor pillow at him. 
"Don't listen to me when I'm in the shower!" I couldn't help but laugh too. "You guys...." I felt my thoughts go a bit serious when I pondered my own thought, "do you consider me your brother?" I should've expected a kind of awkward silence, but I felt uneasy when it happened. 
V paused his game and came off the couch to sit right up next to me. "You're my new brother Hiseumin," he grabbed my shoulders and pulled me into a warm morning hug. 
"You're one of us, you're bulletproof. You're our brother and we're yours now." Rapmon said in English, but Yoongi, Jin, and Jimin seemed to understand. He switched back to Korean "after the interview, there'll be a lot of work to do. I'd like you to help me with one of our new songs." 
"Woah woah woah woah.... Woah. Woah," I lightly pushed V off. "Me? Help you with music? I'll do a sax solo, but I've never written music, let alone hip hop." Did they not feel my terror? I already had to speak in front a live audience and a tv broadcaster, why would he make me struggle with something as important as our comeback music?
"Because your one of us. You make the music too. Everyone here has contributed and now it's your turn."
He responded as if I had been talking out loud, "can you read minds? You can can't you? I knew that hair wasn't just for style. It was to cover up your alien brain your tiny antenna that allow you to listen to brain waves." I accentuated everything with my hands and got laughs out of everyone. Success. I wanted to be funny at least once. 
"I'm serious Hiseumin. You have a wonderful sense of rhythm in music, your input would make things so much better and I trust you. Ok?" The morning seemed to be fading as V saved his game, and the 3 on the floor went to wash off their plates. "After we get settled then we'll meet up, just you and me, and we'll go over what me and Yoongi have got so far." 
"Hey hey Namjoon, I really don't think that's a good idea. I can play music sure, but I've never composed it. The fans love YOUR music, not mine. I'm fine just following suit." 
He touched my shoulder and held onto my upper arm. Shaking his head he insisted, "Hiseumin, nothing you say or do is going to make me think about going back on this. You're part of the family, make music like a family, and trust us. If you have doubts then trust us to help you, that's what families do right?" 
I was touched, deeply touched. I had never imagined to hear words like that come out of the mouths of any of the members. I in turn held onto his shoulder, "thank you Namjoon, I will try my hardest." 
"Exactly what I want to hear! Now let's get you ready for this interview!" He slapped me on the back and left to attend to his own duties and left me to my own. 
The day went by agonizingly slow, I rehearsed multitudes of responses in english and korean in my head all the while pacing and taking tea and dance breaks within my memorization. I was yelled at for mumbling during rehearsal too, I couldn't help it, but nothing managed to bring me down, nothing but the moment before the broadcast began while I was waiting in the offstage wings with the rest of BTS. My stomach had knots twisting up in it and I felt my thoughts become jumbled.
"Welcome everyone! We have special guest BTS today! And I'm sure you've all heard about their new member! He'll be answering questions in this, and exclusive interview with us and YOU!" The host of the show announced to the live and televised audience. "Please welcome Bangtan Seonyeondan!" The crowd cheered and I followed onto the stage behind all of my peers smiling and waving in a simple suit. 
We were motioned to sit down in the 8 chairs pointed out to us and the audience was quiet. 
Rapmon took the lead in introducing us, "Hello! We are Bangtan Seonyeondan!" We all completed the hand motion. "Thank you for inviting us to be on your show, I hope we have a lot of fun," he sat back down. 
First rounds of questions were basic, how were rehearsals doing? Anything that we can release on our progress? How is everyone doing especially with a new member? All too soon the questions and requests ventured from the other members to me. Nervous, slightly sweating, out of breath me whose mind had totally blanked was faced with bright lights, unfamiliar faces, and speed answering in Korean. 
"Hiseumin, how did you get into the group? How did you feel when you settled into the dorms? What do you eat now? What's your daily schedule like? Who are you most friends with in the group? What kind of dancing and singing do you do and prefer? Do you have a preferred uality?" 
Keeping it cool, I answered yes and no, simple preferences, keeping personal information to myself, and stitching a smile onto my face every time. I was glad to be able to ensue laughs in the crowd, but I started to feel like I was in some kind of system. Normal everyday questions being asked to me, I'm no one special, and yet here I am putting on airs for fans I may not even have. It felt like forced fanservice that was mandatory for me to perform in, like my efforts in the group would never surface and I'd only be seen as the person trying to fit into Bangtan. 
"You aren't related to the members at all, and you most likely haven't seen your family in a long time, how do you get along? Do you share personal secrets with each other?" The interviewer pried even more to try and get me to break non-existent secrets. 
"Whatever the members have shared with me I keep confidential, they are like brothers to me now and they help me all the time. I would never betray them, their trust, their secrets." I felt myself getting unusually deep in my responses as I saw a few bored faces in the crowd.
"Ah alright, another question if we may, Hiseumin Go is not your real name yes? Why did you choose that stage name and will you ever share your real one?" 
My name... I could talk about how the other members were my brothers all I wanted, for as long as I wanted to, but it didn't change anything; I was just another idol to a lot of people. This struck me hard and I couldn't help feeling upset. I signed up for this, but I wasn't the same person I used to be where I thought it was all fun, games, and gossip in the industry. I looked back up at the interviewers and took in a breath of air to ready myself. "Hiseumin isn't just a name I chose. He's a whole new person that I've become," Jungkook and I made eye contact, he seemed serious rather than tired or bored. I looked away quickly and leaned in closer to the microphone and hesitated before I made my last statement. "I'm a member of BTS now, and I don't intend on leaving my brothers... Ever..." I finished and kept a straight face while cameras snapped away for pictures.

Author's Note: SORRY SORRY SORRY I'm such a lazy updated with a mind full of racing thoughts. That you had to wait so long is so irresponsible of me, so forgive me please. I really hope you enjoy what is to come especially since the plot starts to pick up in the chapter. Have fun! Happy St. Patrick's Day!!