Baekhyun walks to the building where the new photoshoot will take place. The dream still fresh in his mind and his eyes tired. He wishes he could’ve done more for his now deceased friend, but crying over it won’t solve or change anything. What’s done is done. He keeps telling himself as he tapes his heart back together again for the hundredth time that week. On the elevator he forces a sweet smile on his thin lips and his eyes twinkle fakely. He’s been carrying this charade on for too long. "Smile, Baekhyun. Your fans deserve it. You deserve it..." he mumbles like a mantra. The elevator dings and the doors open, Byun Baekhyun is full of sparkly eyes and sickeningly sweet smiles. Luhan walks into the bubble tea place with a pair of shades and a grimace on his face. He’s reminded of Kyungsoo’s confession. His eyelids heavy from lack of sleep, the younger’s face trapped behind his eyelids at night. Kyungsoo’s wide eyes filled with glistening tears and heartbreak. Ordering his usual taro, he sits by the window watching people walk by. The past couple days involved sleepless nights. The caramel-haired individual watches a particular brunette cross the street. He’s headed for the coffee shop opposite to the bubble tea place Luhan is in. Kyungsoo wore all black. Maybe, it was to symbolize his mood. His pants clung to his small legs, a long sleeved black shirt that also clung to his small frame, and a black hat to cover his eyes somewhat. Luhan watches the brunette, a certain aura surrounding him as he enters the small coffee shop. Kyungsoo walks into the warm shop, the smell of freshly ground coffee beans penetrates his nostrils fiercely. He orders a caramel frappucino in hopes of getting the bitter taste out of his mouth. Rejection. It was hard to take. The brunette fixes his cap and sighs in defeat. He wishes he just kept his feelings to himself instead of feeling like this. His order is called and he sips on the scalding drink. Hopefully, it will burn the words he wished he never said. Kyungsoo walks outside holding his drink, he heads for the location of the new shoot. Baekhyun waits on the set, his headphones in and make-up already on. Humming to Moonlight, he watches the crew shuffle about around the room. Today’s concept was well... Baekhyun wasn’t sure. The title of the shoot was Agit Night, though. It meant lots of eyeliner and formal-ish looking clothes. As the song switches to What Is Love, the crew begin rushing frantically. One of his peers has appeared and the smell of coffee hits Baekhyun’s nose and he has a mini break down in his mind. Sehun. Sehun. Sehun. Hyung is sorry. Baekhyun’s eyes start to water as Kyungsoo comes by to sit down, “Hey Baekhyun...” The latter takes in a couple deep breaths to calm himself down and he flashes a smile, “Oh, hi!” Kyungsoo offers a small smile back and notices the oncoming tears, “Hey, you okay?” “I’m fine! Don’t worry about it! Just thought about something sad that’s all.” Baekhyun laughs forcefully, but prettily. “Do you want it? It’s a caramel frappe. I only took a sip, so... ” “No thanks! I don’t drink coffee! Thanks for the offer though! Also, before I forget... Great job with Luhan on that photo shoot...two days ago?” The brunette’s smile fades, he clears his throat, “Oh...” his voice is so small, “Thanks.” Baekhyun senses a change in the atmosphere and drops the topic. It’s silent and slightly awkward. “I better get ready. Nice talking to you, Baekhyun-ah.” Kyungsoo sets his cup down on a side table and gets up to go to the dressing room. As the brunette leaves, the caramel-haired model walks in with his taro bubble tea. He’s sipping happily. “Hey, Baekkie!” “Lu-ge!” Baekhyun giggles, “I thought I told you I hated that nickname.” Luhan laughs, “What’re we doing today? I notice a lot of eyeliner.” The black-haired model nods, “We’re doing something called Agit Night! It involves lots of eyeliner and dark, sharp, formal clothing. You like?” Baekhyun wiggles his eyebrows in a funny manner causing the elder to laugh his horse laugh. “Yeah, I do!” Kyungsoo sits in his chair face neutral as the coordi-noona styles his hair. His eyeliner smudged toward the outer corners of his eyes. It looked a lot more natural than Baekhyun’s. Then again, Baekhyun was known for having an insane amount of eyeliner. “Now you’re done~!” The brunette bows his head, “Thank you for your hard work!” She laughs. “It’s nothing! Your outfit’s over there on the rack, you know what to do!” Bowing again, Kyungsoo takes a swift glance at the mirror before getting up to get into his outfit. His hair was lightly tousled, classy. Full lips form a small smile and he’s off to change into a black suit, with a polka dot button up, and a sleek black bow-tie. Luhan enters the room with a bright smile, “Hello everybody!” The women giggle and wave him over so he can get his make-up and hair done. He gladly obliges and sits on a cushy chair. “Kyungsoo looks so handsome! Ugh!” the short brunette appears holding his former clothes in his hands. “Uh, where should I put these?” “I’ll take them, Kyungsoo-yah! Go wait outside!” one of the ladies takes the clothes from Kyungsoo’s hands quickly and gives him a light shove toward the door. Luhan watches the younger walk out the door, his heart beat speeding slightly and an uncomfortable warmth spreads in the pit of his stomach. “Wow, Kyung!” Baekhyun gushes, “You look amazing!” The latter blushes, “Thanks...! You do too, hyung!” Baekhyun grins at the comment, “So, what’s up?” “Getting ready to do a photo shoot?” Kyungsoo’s face mirrors the heavily-eye linered individual in front of him. “That’s not what I meant!” “Well, what do you mean then?” “Something keeping you up lately? You never bring coffee in and your dark circles are ridiculous.” Baekhyun replies fixing a couple strands of his metallic gray gold hair. The brunette is silent for a moment, “I... ” Waiting patiently, the idol watches Kyungsoo’s facial expression change. It must’ve been something bad. “I change my mind. You don’t have to tell me, if you don’t want too.” Kyungsoo looks Baekhyun in the eyes. Amber contacted eyes hold sympathy and a glimmer of sadness. Eyes trail down to pink lips, a corner upturned in a small smile as a form of comfort. “Thanks, Baekhyun... ” He stands up and hugs Kyungsoo, “No problem, I hope that whatever is troubling you goes away soon. Don’t forget that hyung is always here if you want to talk. I want my squishy Soo back!” Stepping away, Baekhyun squishes the latter’s cheeks. Luhan walks into the room to see a certain metallic haired individual hugging a certain brunette. Oddly, his spirits drop. He quietly makes his way to the couches as Baekhyun squishes Kyungsoo’s cheeks. The caramel-haired male puts a smile on his face, despite the sinking feeling inside. “Hey! What are you doing?” “Squishing Soo’s cheeks! So cuuuuute!” Kyungsoo blushes and pretends to hit Baekhyun’s hands. “Stop it!” Forcing a smile, Luhan thinks they look good together. They start the photo shoot. Luhan found himself staring at the brunette. The roles have switched. During solo shots, Kyungsoo watched Luhan. The elder’s eyeliner making him look both feminine and manly. It suited him. “Wah! Lu-ge looks really good!” “Yeah, he is... ” the stars aren’t in Luhan’s eyes today. Luhan finishes with a bright smile and it’s Kyungsoo’s turn. He stares into the lens with a glint of mischievousness. “Is it me or does Soo look a bit sad...?” “Yeah... He does.” “Do you know what happened?” Baekhyun’s tears his eyes away from the brunette to look at the elder. No response comes from the caramel-haired male, as he watches the youngest of the three. “Thank you for all of your hard work and rest well everyone! Today was a huge success!” the director praises everyone. “Let’s go out!” Baekhyun suggested already in his comfortable clothes. “I’m busy tonight, hyung...Maybe, another night?” “Yeah, I’m a bit busy as well. Sorry, Baek.” Baekhyun sighs. “Can’t you cancel? Come on! We just finished a huge photo shoot! Let’s go out to drink or something!” “Not tonight, hyung, sorry. I gotta go.” Kyungsoo rushes out of the room. Baekhyun caught something glistening in the younger’s eyes. Luhan saw tears. “I should probably get going, too. See you, Baekhyun.” Once the elder left, Baekhyun let himself go. He let his eyes become blank with emotion and the corners of his lips droop into a frown. Baekhyun really didn’t want to be alone today. Today holds too many bad memories. Too many bad dreams. Too many tears and angry yells. Today is Sehun’s day, April 12th. Kyungsoo breaks down while he walks to his apartment. Tears flowing for no reason really. The brunette just wanted to let out the pent up feelings in his chest, and the constricting feeling evaporates with every deep breath Kyungsoo takes in order to calm himself down. A need to cry overtook the short male model as he changed into sweats and an oversized pajama shirt. He walks into the bathroom. Closing the door and locking it behind him, he slides down the door and the hot, fat tears start rolling down his cold, red cheeks. As he hits, the floor his phone vibrates in his pocket. “Hey, Soo? Are you sure you’re busy? I just really want to hang out with someone today…” Kyungsoo can hear sadness laced in Baekhyun’s voice. The brunette didn’t think the latter was capable of such emotions. He clears his throat, “Please, Soo...Please.” Kyungsoo tries to keep his voice strong despite the tears flowing down his face, the bathroom is blurry. “You want to meet up somewhere? Or, would you prefer to meet an apartment?” “I’ll just go to yours. Thanks, Soo.” Baekhyun hangs up. The doorbell rings and Kyungsoo is somewhat presentable. “Hi Baek-” He wraps his arms around the younger, tears finally spilling. “Please, let’s stay like this for a bit... ” His voice was muffled by the oversized shirt the younger was wearing. Nodding his head, they stay like that for a while in the doorway. Baekhyun’s body shaking with his whimpers and his tears dampening Kyungsoo’s shirt. The younger decided it was best he hold his own sadness in. He didn’t want Baekhyun to worry. A couple minutes later, Baekhyun’s sobs subsided. “Sorry about that.” He laughs. It was a sad laugh. The elder walks to the couch. The younger closes and locks the door and follows. There was a comfortable silence. “I should probably explain myself... ” Baekhyun mumbles. “You don’t have too unless you want, too.” Kyungsoo’s voice was a lot stronger now than on the phone. Another wave of sniffles, come from the elder. “Today...today is my friend’s birthday.” The younger raises an eyebrow, but keeps silent. “This friend of mine was very special to me...Not only is it his birthday today...It’s also the day of his death.” Kyungsoo’s eyes widen. Baekhyun hides his face in his hands, “He committed suicide and I couldn’t do anyth-” Kyungsoo wraps an arm around Baekhyun’s shoulders. “I’m so sorry...It’s gonna be alright...” They stay like that for a moment before Baekhyun speaks up through his sniffles. “Enough about me...” the elder looks at the younger in the eyes, “What about you? You sounded like you were crying earlier, Soo...what happened?” “I... I confessed to Luhan no too long ago...he rejected me.” Kyungsoo mumbles. His begin watering again thinking about Luhan’s face as he confessed. The light going out in his eyes with every word the younger said. “Why are you so sad then? Not to sound insensitive or anything, sorry. I mean, there’s a lot of other people in the world. One of them is bound to like you.” “I know that, but the look on his face when I told him. He seemed disgusted with me. And today during the photoshoot, I realized that I don’t even deserve him.” the younger pauses for a moment, “He’s like a star. He’s billions of miles away. I can’t touch him. All I get is his shining light, but that light isn’t enough.” Baekhyun could barely understand what the younger was saying, but it made some sense. To an extent. They sit in heavy silence. It’s almost crushing. Luhan sits on a park bench watching birds fly around the blue sky. He remembers Kyungsoo’s smile as they walked to the bubble tea shop together. He remembers the sweet vanilla smell that emitted from the younger. He also remembers the tears that stained his face, as he lay in bed staring at that blank wall. The 25 year-old male closes his eyes and breathes in the fresh, cool spring air. It’s refreshing and almost clears his head of his thoughts. Almost. Baekhyun listens to Kyungsoo’s soft breaths as they sit in silence. Neither wanted to break the silence, but at the same time they did. It wasn’t awkward. It wasn’t uncomfortable, well too uncomfortable. It seemed thick with depression and some other emotion neither could place their finger on. The elder of the two decided to glance around the room. His eyes move from one corner to the other taking in what he could without turning his head. The apartment was clean for the most part. Some coats and pants left on the opposite couch as well as at the small dining room table. They looked like they were supposed to be there. Baekhyun also noticed that the room was various shades of white, gray, and black. There was only a teaspoon of other colors, such as blue, red, and purple. The apartment was quite plain looking, but it had a sophisticated feel to it just like the owner. Weird sounds emit from Baekhyun’s stomach. “Uh...” Baekhyun blushes in embarrassment. Kyungsoo cracks a smile, “What do you want to eat?” “I don’t want to intrude...I should just leave.” Baekhyun mumbles. “Well, you sort of already did. Intrude, I mean.” Kyungsoo chuckles, “It’s no problem. Didn’t you say you wanted to hang out anyway?” The younger gets up from the couch an inviting smile upon thick, full, pink lips. “I was thinking of eating pasta tonight.” “I love pasta.” Baekhyun confesses as he follows the owl-eyed boy to the kitchen. He watches him take out pots and pans, as well as ingredients. “Don’t just stand there, hyung! Help me out!” Kyungsoo laughs his face lighting up, little stars returning to their original spots. Baekhyun joins in with his laughter as he goes and helps out. It’s been awhile since he smiled for real. Something blossoms inside each of them. “And then he jumped onto the pool!!!” Baekhyun cackles while Kyungsoo laughs. “Really?! Chanyeol’s insane!” Dinner was long forgotten. It got colder by the second, as they tried their best to outdo each other in terms of funny stories. “Yeah, he’s pretty crazy!” the elder takes a sip of water to relieve his dry, sore throat. Laughing a lot makes you really thirsty. “I was wondering... Do you have a reason for having your apartment so....?” “Plain? Nope. No reason, I just like it like this.” Kyungsoo replies after taking a sip of his own water. “You need to make it look messier, or add some patterns! I’d go insane if my apartment was like this... ” he mumbles the last part. The younger chuckles, “How messy is your apartment then?” Baekhyun doesn’t want to answer. He’ll get laughed at. “I don’t need to tell you!” “Okay, then don’t!” Kyungsoo remembers the cold pasta on his plate and places a forkful in his mouth. The idol expected more fighting. He was sort of disappointed, but happy the model decided to leave the subject. “Thanks for everything, Soo.” Baekhyun blurts as Kyungsoo takes the dishes to the sink. “No problem, hyung. Thanks for cheering me up.” The metallic haired individual stares at the white wooden table. “Can we do this more often...? It’s rare I get home cooked meals, and I like company... ” He sets the dishes down and looks at the idol. “I’d like that, hyung.” A grin finds it’s way onto thin pink lips. Eyes turn into crescent moons. Months later, Luhan finds himself staring at full, heart-shaped, pink lips in awe. Bright, starry eyes twinkling in happiness and laughter. Oh, how he wished he was Baekhyun. He wished those cute smiles and awkward laughs were directed at him instead of the slight wall between them. The tables have turned, the roles have switched. Now, it was Luhan’s turn to watch from afar and wish for something that will never happen. At least one of them got bandages for their skinned knees.