THE GARDEN, 7:45 AM
"Jiyong volunteered to exchange places with Taeyeon. As such, he is excluded from the weekly house ration, and is not allowed to enter the house, until further notice. He agreed that his punishment in Taeyeon's place will be longer than the original one-day sanction."
Elder Yoo's announcement boomed all over the place, successfully releasing me from Jiyong's tight hug. He didn't want to let go, but the game-changing turn of events surprised me. I pushed him away, confused and astounded at the same time.
"Why would you do this for me?!" I managed to shout amidst the tears and comfort his sudden presence brought me.
Unexpectedly, the events of the past crawled back in ugly ways. This was the opposite of the happy memories I was reminiscing while singing I Have Nothing. To appear while I was hungry and cold was one happy reminiscent act. To actually save me, rescue me, it wasn't pulling any positive thought in my head. Instead, it angered me. Really angered me.
"You are an idiot, thinking of yourself last again!" I shouted, pushing him hard and slapping his chest with both hands. I couldn't stop myself.
Clearly, this startled him, because he answered with a raised tone too. "If I let a woman suffer because of something I could have prevented, what does that make me?"
"So you would not eat and stay out in the cold just for me? What does THAT make me?" I was still screaming. Why? I turned my back and held on my head, afraid that looking at his kind face only worsened the anger. "I don't want to be your damsel in distress! Why do you always have to act like MY super hero Kwon Jiyong?!"
This is just like 2008 all over again, the year that started it all. It was the year when I realized that there was that one friend always coming to my aid, always saving me, always sacrificing for me. Those were precisely the things that made me fall in love with this friend...
"If something happened to you under my watch, I wouldn't have any face to show Kim umma and Kim appa again."
Now that calmed down my emotions. The mention of my parents seeing me like this, it caused me worry. Then I remembered how much they loved him, how much they rooted for him, how much they wanted me so much to forgive him. I totally forgot that the cameras were on us, or that millions of people witnessed us fighting like this. I thought we were just talking. The memories of 2008, they pushed me into letting out the compartmentalized emotions I've held onto for nearly five years.
"Oppa," I called out, slowly looking back at him. I couldn't let him believe my parents held any ill feelings for him when they only loved him as much as I did. "...you know my parents have already forgiven you."
"With the promise that I'll never let you suffer again. Not if I can help it."
That's when I heard laughters from behind closed doors. Then, I remembered. An entire production crew was filming us behind those two-way mirrors. There were at least fifteen camera capturing this moment in various angles. It all dawned back, and I panicked a little. Surely, the editors were already writing the controversial episode for tonight's broadcast. How could I keep forgetting that in this world, there wasn't just the two of us?!
"The world is watching. Do you realize what you just did?!" I confronted him, finding blame for all our slips up. "After I confessed to Elder Yoo, I had to beg them to cut that scene from the broadcast. But now you're making all the events about us!"
"Then let the world watch. I can face their criticism if that means you won't almost die on me again!" he angrily shouted back.
I looked at the camera, and endlessly begged the producers to prevent the last minutes from airing. I begged to see my managers, or anyone from SM, to ask them to do some damage control. I knocked and knocked on the mirrors, desperately asking them to talk to me. I needed confirmation that nothing from our emotional confrontation would be revealed to the world. Clearly, Kwon Jiyong didn't care. He only watched me beg for our careers to stick. He wasn't helping. Did he really want this for us? Surely, the media chaos about SNSD and Big Bang was unbelievable outside.
"Why can't you just appreciate the fact that I want to save you?" he asked, still standing there, only watching me pathetically knock on the mirrors.
Because I don't want to fall in love with you again. Not if I can help it.
"You always have to fight me, or find reasons to turn things for the negative. You gotta let go and let things be just the way they are!"
I stopped myself from speaking. I wouldn't say another word until I talked to any of the producers, or any of the SM managers. I wanted to say so many things, but I was protecting us. The way things are? The way they are is that the world does not know we dated for two freaking years, and life is already chaotic without them knowing! Now what would my world look like if the world knew?!
"I'm not trying to be a hero. I don't even care about what the outside world would say. I just want you to eat and sleep and not be in any pain whatsoever!"
Shut up! Stop it! Don't you care about what this would do to us, you selfish brat?!
"TALK TO ME KIM TAEYEON--"
"Jiyong, Taeyeon, stop shouting at each other. You are both in violation of House Rule # 2 - Respect your housemates, Elders and production staff."
Thank God! I watched him flush red at being reprimanded. I called out for the producers again, hoping and wishing they would acknowledge my request to stop this from broadcasting.
"Taeyeon, it's time to go inside the house. Jiyong, you have to stay outside, as agreed upon."
I remembered that he volunteered to be punished instead of me. If there was one thing I could confirm from the show's production, it's that they took the house rules seriously. Jiyong wouldn't eat or sleep comfortably for sure. Now another kind of emotion came rushing back. Concern. After the initial anger for his volunteerism, now it actually dawned on me that he will suffer in my place for days. Even if they cut the revealing confrontation from airing, the punishment would surely stick.
"Go. Just go. I'll be fine," he then egged me, calmer now. I didn't budge and instead just stood there, frozen, looking back at him.
"Yah, alright, fine, I was trying to be a savior, like you said I always do. Are you happy now? Will that make you accept my self-serving sacrifice? It's just my hero complex, arasseo?! Now just go inside! My play has been revealed. I confess. There!"
Now he physically dragged me towards the house front door. I was still speechless and unwilling.
"Kim Taeyeon!" he screamed, opening the sliding glass door and pushing me inside. "It's been twelve hours since you last ate. We can't have your stomach bleeding internally. SO GO!!!"
"Thank you," I blurted out. I maybe desperate to stop this from coming out to the world, but I was not a complete . I appreciated what he did, no matter how much it angered and scared me. This startled him.
You know that scene in the movies when the two leading characters were just frozen in the moment, looking at each other? Yeah, that's what we were doing, until...
"Jiyong, Taeyeon, it's time to separate now."
Elder Yoo, you sound just like fate almost five years ago, forcing us to separate...
Then, we became unfrozen. He let go and held on the door to slide it close, saying, "Don't let my selfish sacrifice be in vain. Eat well, be warm, and be healthy inside, okay?"
It took me a while, then I nodded, speechless. It also took him a minute to close the door on me. Maybe too long, because this was like another scene in the movie. I watched him disappear in slow motion as he closed the second wooden door on me. I stayed rooted in the entrance hall for tens of seconds, deep in thoughts as to what just happened. Again, it was Elder Yoo's voice that reminded me of the selfless act that Kwon Jiyong was doing for me.
"As a reminder to everyone, Jiyong is not allowed to use or consume anything that came from inside the house. I expect not just Jiyong, but all of you, to follow the House and game rules from here on."
User 1: What the heck just happened?
User 2: Heol! Daebak!
User 3: Will they cut this in the prime time broadcast? Somebody record the whole garden scene!
User 4: Recorded and uploaded in Naver and Youtube. I'm so glad there's an uncut, unedited, pay-per-view 24/7 live stream.
User 5: I wonder how SM, YG and MBC will try to cover this up...
User 6: GD and Taeyeon just can't help themselves, eh?
User 7: Heol, 20 thousand views in 10 mins! The epic garden scene will go viral, mark my words.
LIVING ROOM, 11:26 AM
"How was the doctor's appointment?" Soojoo unnie asked as I came back to the living room after being seen by the doctor.
"They gave me medicine. My stomach was beginning to hurt."
I didn't know how to act inside the house. Should I go to the bedroom? Talk to my housemates? I was a little embarrassed at them because of missing the curfew. I felt relieved that only Soojoo was in the living room. It was a little awkward when I settled on the couch with her. Silence passed.
"You and Jiyong... what's going on?" she finally cut the awkward moment, but the question made things more awkward.
"If I was to talk about it in front of the whole world, I'd rather have the conversation with Jiyong. Please don't take offense unnie."
That was as good as a confirmation of what everyone must be assuming. Gosh, I badly need to talk to someone from SM.
"None taken. I just want you both to be wary of the circumstances outside this house."
I wondered what was happening outside the house. I really dug my own grave so deep by getting involved with G-dragon. Taeyeon, the Sly Fox, you did it again.
"I mean... there are other people involved in this issue. Remember House Rule # - Always act with thought, respect, and sensitivity for the entities outside the house."
You need not remind me. Byun Baekhyun. Mizuhara Kiko. I know that very well.
I then covered my face with a couch pillow, hiding my face from the public. With a muffled voice, I called out for the producers and my managers. I worried so much about the damage the last hours were causing. I worried less about what the public would say, but more about what our loved ones would feel. Our families, our friends, our lovers...
It was unbeknownst to my current boyfriend that Kwon Jiyong was one of the exes... I wouldn't want Baekhyun to know through a reality show.
"That was really sweet of Jiyong oppa," I heard Bae Suzy's voice. Many footsteps were fast approaching, and so the moment I dreaded now came. Slowly, and shyly, I removed the pillow from my face.
"Yeah, I was so moved," Kim Yuna also said. The ladies sat with us on the couch. Yuna continued, "I wonder, when will a guy sacrifice like that for me? Oppa's so dreamy, and kind, and nice, and... I mean... you're so lucky."
"Eh, does our Yuna-sshi have a crush on her Jiyong oppa?" Moon Geunyoung teased.
"What?! No! Of course not! You are causing me trouble unnie!!!" Yuna screamed defensively, flushing.
"Stop blushing. You're making it so obvious!" Suzy added, causing the poor girl to cover her red face with a pillow. She buried herself on the couch, hiding.
"I don't! PD-oppas, PD unnies, please don't broadcast this!" she screamed, her voice muffled. "Taeyeon unnie, I swear I don't have a crush on him. Please don't be angry! He's all yours!"
"Come on kid, he's not mine!" I laughed and lied, also defensive. "He's just a friend to me so don't talk nonsense. Now you're the one setting me up for trouble."
"I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to cause trouble," Yuna answered, still hiding and buried in the pillows. Then, we saw her shoulders shaking.
"Omo, why are you crying?"
"She's really crying!"
"Hey kid, what's up?"
Being the closest in proximity to her, I pulled her back from her hiding face, and her wet and red face got revealed to us.
"I'm sorry unnie. It's all my fault. I should have made sure you made it inside last night," she cried out, now covering her face with her hand. "You could have been hospitalized. I didn't know you had ulcer. I'm really sorry."
"It's not your fault! You told me about the curfew. It's me who didn't take it seriously. Don't worry about it!" I embraced her and put her face on my chest, consoling the poor little one. I couldn't believe another person was taking responsibility for my mishap last night.
"Aish! Who does Jiyong think he is, getting mad at our Nation's Fairy like that? I'm going kick his later!" Soojoo muttered angrily, also aiding Yuna so that we were sandwiching her.
"Jiyong... got angry at you...?" I asked, perplexed. Oh no you didn't Kwon Jiyong!
"I almost killed you unnie. I'm so sorry. I really am to blame. It's all my fault!" Kim Yuna was inconsolable, and she cried on in my arms for long, apologizing and apologizing.
G-DRAGON UNDER FIRE FOR MISTREATMENT OF KIM YUNA
1. YOU G-DRUGGIN! HOW DARE YOU REPRIMAND THE NATION'S FAIRY? WHEN HAVE YOU WON US OLYMPIC MEDALS?
2. A CRIMINAL LIKE G-DRAG QUEEN CAN'T TREAT SOMEONE WHO'S BROUGHT PRIDE AND GLORY TO OUR COUNTRY LIKE THAT!
GD-YUNA CONFRONTATION IN HOUSE OF 20'S STEAMS UP THE PUBLIC
1. Poor Yuna. It's not even that she's our hero, but that she's a woman. I am disappointed that a supposed respectful man like Kwon Jiyong can shout at a quiet young woman like Kim Yuna, while she was asleep, thus waking her up! Where have your famous manners gone man?!
IN THE COUNCIL ROOM, 9:04 AM (TWO HOURS EARLIER)
Elder Yoo: It is with happiness that I inform you Taeyeon's going to be alright. You can stop crying now.
(Yuna broke down and didn't speak, avoiding the camera and the microphone)
Elder Yoo: Why are you still crying?
(Yuna kept quiet and shook her head, still bowed down and avoidant)
Elder Yoo: Is it because of Jiyong?
(Yuna shook her head even more profusely, and this time covered her face, sobbing)
Park Myungsoo: Our beautiful Kim Yuna continued to cry and refused to talk to the elders. What really happened? G-dragon-ah, why did you have to shout at our Princess Yuna? This is what happened one hour before our Yuna cried in the confession room...
YUNA AND TAEYEON'S BEDROOM, 8:19 AM
"KIM YUNA, DID YOU EVEN TELL YOUR UNNIE ABOUT THE CURFEW? DIDN'T WE AGREE THAT YOU WOULD INFORM HER SHE HAD TO BE IN BY 10PM SHARP?!" Kwon Jiyong shouted, towering over the bed where Yuna was sitting, still in her pajamas.
"I d-did. I told h-her everything. I swear I did!" Yuna answered with a weak voice, looking up at the scary elder pacing back and forth in front of her.
"Damn it! Taeyeon has ulcer so she can't be punished with fasting!" Jiyong angrily muttered, still pacing around in panic.
"What?! Oh no.... But ... I really informed her. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to..."
What the world didn't know was that the Ice Skating Champ easily cried, known as a crybaby among family and friends. That's what the world found out in that episode.
Jung Hyungdon: That's not a very good alarm clock for a woman. Tsk. Tsk. Tsk. Jiyong, I thought you were a gentleman. This isn't a healthy breakfast for our Yuna either.
FANS DEFEND G-DRAGON'S BEHAVIOR IN HOUSE OF 20'S
1. Amazing of MBC not to air the COMPLETE footage, making Jiyong look like an abusive oppa! He did NOT wake her up. Yuna was already awake in the bedroom when GD knocked on her door. He did not shout at her in front of all the housemates. He also stopped himself and apologized to her right after he first screamed!
2. MBC, YOU GOTTA CLEAR THIS MESS UP BY AIRING THE COMPLETE SCENE!
WAS G-DRAGON'S ACTIONS ACCEPTABLE? NETIZENS DIVIDED
1. Well I'm not a fan, but if a friend had a previous near-death and was endangered again, isn't it human instinct to be emotional? When we're emotional, it's natural to put blame. Put yourself in GD's place.
2. He apologized? When? I have to see it to believe it. Otherwise, G-dragon is a disrespectful and abusive scumbag in my eyes! Your parents should have taught you better!
3. I understand GD's emotions as a friend, but Yuna's tears moved me. She was so cute!!!!
VIPs MARCH OUTSIDE MBC REQUESTING COMPLETE BROADCAST OF GD-YUNA CONFRONTATION
DID G-DRAGON REALLY APOLOGIZE TO YUNA?
MBC GIVES IN TO VIP CLAMOR, GD'S APOLOGY TO BE AIRED FRIDAY NIGHT
DINING ROOM, 9:20 AM
"Where's GD hyung?" Kim Woobin wondered, realizing that his fellow male housemate was not in the group meeting with them.
"Omo, is he reprimanding Yuna?" wondered Park Taewan when he made sense of GD's voice from inside the girl's bedroom.
"Whoa, GD oppa is a notorious leader. Yuna's in for some deep trouble. Have you seen the BB documentary?" Suzy said, also upon hearing G-dragon's angry voice.
"VIP fangirl alert!" Seungho teased.
"It's common knowledge that I'm a VIP. Big Bang inspired me to be an idol," admitted Suzy. Then, she added an observation. "He was so livid upon finding out Taeyeon unnie got locked out. He's taking this task seriously, isn't he?"
"I smell something personal though. I don't mean to cause trouble, but how do they know each other personally outside this house?" wondered superstar Kim Soohyun. "Did they..."
"Don't even say the word or you'll create a scandal!" warned Park Soojoo upon figuring out what the housemates were all concluding.
"But oppa said he'd die for her, and unnie said he made her so happy and so hurt. That could only mean they dat--"
"Shut it Suzy. That word is forbidden, or we'll hurt our housemate's image," Soojoo once again called out, being the protective elder sister once more.
Park Myungsoo: While the seven housemates wondered cluelessly about G-dragon and Taeyeon's relationship, the Big Bang leader began to open up to Korea's Ice Queen. Jiyong, do you know SNSD's leader personally?
YUNA'S BEDROOM, 9:25 am
"If Tae's stomach bleeds, it's going to be dangerous. She almost died four years ago because of internal bleeding. It was... bad. So bad. It scared everyone. It scared the sh*t out of me."
I was now sat on the bed, just a few meters away from Yuna. With calmed nerves now, I was able to speak in a normal tone of voice. When I saw Yuna's flustered face at my volume, I held back. I couldn't blame her for anything. It was no one's fault but mine. Poor Yuna, receiving the bad end of my panic. Then, she sniffed. .
"I'm... I'm sorry Yuna," I muttered, seeing her in tears. She was silently crying, obviously because of my outrageous outbreak. I scooted nearer and patted her back, feeling her shaking body. "I'm really, very sorry. I'm just so worried about Taeyeon. I wasn't angry at you, or blaming you. I am just so furious at myself because I waited for her last night too."
"No, I'm sorry. I didn't do my job well," she cried out, shaking her head over and over. This poor kid. "What will happen to unnie? She can't skip a meal. I have to do something!"
"Hey, sssssh, sssssh. D-don't cry this hard! Oh shoot," I cussed out, now fully embracing her. I just made a totally innocent woman cry. I needed to get my act together. With her head on my chest, I said, "Come here. I'm sorry for shouting. I didn't mean to direct my panic at you."
"I'm sorry oppa. I really am."
"Don't be sorry. I'm sorry. It's no one's fault, really. I'm just really worried about her."
Jung Hyungdon: Ehem... isn't that... too close for comfort? Just kidding. But I'm sure the world is envious that G-dragon got to embrace our Olympic heroin. And as Yuna's tear subsided, their talk got deeper and deeper and deeper and deeper.
"Oppa, can I ask you something?" Yuna asked me. I felt relieved that she was done crying. It began to feel really invasive touching her intimately as I consoled her, so I was more glad that we were finally apart.
"Of course. What is it?"
"You and Taeyeon unnie..."
The word didn't have to be said. The part of the world that was tuning in to this show probably knew by now. Ugh. What the heck. So be it.
"Yes." I admitted.
It was foolish, but at that point there was no point denying it. My actions in the last hours, my behavior towards Taeyeon, my reaction towards her probable suffering, they already answered Yuna's questions even before my Yes did.
"Wow. Let me process that for a bit," Yuna silently whispered, probably surprised at my honesty.
"It was a lifetime ago."
"Then I understand why you're emotional like this. Unnie and I don't have a deep friendship, and it already pains me that something bad might happen to her. What more you? Her family? All of the people who love and know her? Gosh, I'm so sorry for endangering her life."
"I told you, stop blaming yourself. I already proposed a solution to the council. I'm just waiting for their decision."
I was already prepared for Hyunsuk hyung and my YG managers to pull me out of this show. I was only waiting for the production staff to tell me to pack my bags. But I'll be damned if I left this house without assurance that Kim Taeyeon would be warmed and fed.
The council has to accept my voluntary fasting. There can't be any other way.
Then I thought my wish would be granted when Elder Yoo's booming voice announced, "Please proceed to the Council Room..."
Yuna? Why? What about my request?!
COUNCIL ROOM, 9:10 AM
Elder Yoo: I know you did your part of informing Taeyeon, so don't blame yourself anymore. The doctors said she will be fine.
Yuna cried hard with joy, wiped her tears, and cleared . Still, her eyes were glued on the floor.
Yuna: I'm glad to hear that Elder Yoo. Please don't make her skip a meal. I can take her place. Please punish me instead.
Elder Yoo: Jiyong already volunteered to take her place, so you don't have to worry about your unnie. She will be fed and warm inside the house. The Council approved Jiyong's proposed solution to the rule-breaking that took place.
She finally looked up to address the camera, surprised.
Yuna: What?! No! Don't punish Jiyong oppa. I volunteer to take his place! This is all my fault. I should have tried harder, so punish me instead of Jiyong oppa!
Elder Yoo: And why would you do that?
Yuna: I don't want oppa to skip a meal, or be cold. I'm used to skipping meals and being in the cold. I've missed a lot of meals because of figure skating practice. I've been around the ice cold all my life. Just keep Jiyong oppa warm and full! To me, this wouldn't be a punishment, but just normal everyday life.
YUNA-GD-TAEYEON LOVE TRIANGLE BEGINS
1. Oh. My. God. Daebak. Speechless.
Yuna loves GD. GD loves Taeyeon. Taeyeon loves... bacon. Hahahahahaha.
2. you GD for making Yuna sacrifice for you! Yuna, volunteer for this oppa too!
3. How can Yuna fall for someone like GD? So our hero likes delinquent druggies. So disappointing.
4. G-dragon must have saved the planet in his past life to have SNSD's leader and Kim Yuna all over him.
MBC AND HOUSE OF 20'S HIT JACKPOT WITH YUNA-GD-TAEYEON TWIST
1. Yeah, the writers and PDs are geniuses for bringing about this love angle. The house rules, tasks, and punishments caused these turns of events. Now the entire nation's watching the National Love Triangle!
2. The amount of advertisements each episode is killing me! Clearly MBC's milking this show.
3. With 50% viewership and active online activity, there's no doubt this is the talk of the town. Now the question is... GD-Taeyeon... or GD-Yuna?
4. This oppa votes for Yuna-Taeyeon action. Screw G-druggo!
KIM YUNA'S SACRIFICE ENDEAR THE PUBLIC
1. Skipping meals... being in the cold... if that was her life because of figure skating practice, then I pity her. Hwaiting Kim Yuna! Your sacrifices carried the nation's esteem and pride for so many years.
2. Glory to our Olympic Hero! Your childhood with fasting and the ice are all worth it because you are our national hero. Your sacrifices would be immortalized in the hearts of every single citizen.
3. Only an idiot will look over Kim Yuna. You are an idiot GD! She is beautiful, talented, kind-hearted, rich,
famous, and just perfect. Yuna over any idol, actress, model, or any other woman, period.
LIVING ROOM, 6:30 PM
"Jiyong hyung hasn't eaten in ten hours," declared the maknae Seungho. All of us, eight housemates, were eating our dinner in silence.
I noticed that we all had no enthusiasm eating knowing that one of our own was suffering outside. I couldn't even feel the the food in my mouth. If only I wouldn't be sick, it wouldn't feel right eating at all. But I didn't want Jiyong's sacrifice to be for nothing, and so I still ate. As a result, I couldn't engage in any conversation with any of them.
"I feel bad sitting around and just watching him sit in hunger and cold. I wish there was something we could do," said Suzy.
"We already asked the PD noonas," Soohyun answered, to which the other males nodded their heads to. "The council won't hear us out. They aren't accepting any counter-offers."
Suddenly, a light bulb in my head, making me sit straight up. It seemed Kim Yuna had her own light-bulb moment as she got excited too.
"Where's the rule book? I think there's one thing we can do," Yuna declared to the housemate, and Woobin handed her the rule book. I was still zoned in my own thoughts, thinking of my own way to save Jiyong.
Screw this. I can't just sit here and not do anything for him.
Park Myungsoo: Earth to Taeyeon! Why are you daydreaming while everyone's busy strategizing for Jiyong's reprieve? Hmmm... perhaps her mind's silently pining for a suffering friend too.
COUNCIL ROOM, 7:04 PM
Elder Yoo: What's going on Taeyeon?
Taeyeon: Elder Yoo, I ask this with a respectful mind. Can you please remind me of all your unbreakable rules related to Jiyong's punishment and our daily task?
I was second-guessing myself. Yet, I made sure to ask the council politely, afraid that the public my misconstrue my words. It took Elder Yoo a moment to answer, and I knew that the production staff was scrambling backstage to collect the answer to my question.
Elder Yoo: He can't enter the house. He can't consume any resources from inside the house. No housemate is to exit the house. No housemate is to give Jiyong any resources from inside the house. Lastly, no housemate is allowed to volunteer anymore to switch places with him.
Taeyeon: That's it? Nothing else?
I was silently glad that they answered the way I wanted them too. Finally, there was at least one thing I can offer the cold and hungry Kwon Jiyong.
Elder Yoo: The rules are clear and transparent.
Taeyeon: Are you sure about that?
Elder Yoo: What do you mean?
Taeyeon: Then you can't punish me for talking to him and staying with him all night. If he can't have any food or warmth, then he at least can have company. R-right?
Please say yes. Please... Please...
Elder Yoo: Well...
Taeyeon: It's not against the rules to sleep by the door. It's not against the rules to talk to him. You didn't mention those rules, nor are they written in the rule book. You can't take your words back!
"So are we talking about this?" I asked him, very carefully.
"Only if you want to," he answered.
"What if I don't?" I contradicted.
"Then we may never have a chance to talk again. Once we leave the walls of this house, I'm afraid you would never look back even if I call."
True. The truthfulness of what he spoke of caught me off guard, and I couldn't find the righr words to respond.
"The variables in the real world always prevent us from talking," he continued, and I agreed once more.