Ryeowook looked around the car from the back seat, where he was sitting alone. They were on their way back to the dorm after their late night shooting for a variety show and it was after midnight. The car today, was unusually noisy, contrary to the outside of the car, which was a deafening silence.

    His gaze went to the Team’s leader, Leeteuk who was happily chatting with Kangin at the front seat nearest to the driver. At times, they laughed so loudly that made Ryeowook wonder what they were talking about. Shifting his gaze, he found Eunhyuk, ShinDong, DongHae and SungMin excitedly bouncing in their seats to the latest hits, which was blasting from EunHyuk’s MP3 Player. Just behind them, SiWon was giving his regular talk on religion, which caused HeeChul to curse loudly. Ryeowook chuckled at that sight, but as soon as his gaze landed on KyuHyun, who was playing games on his phone diligently, his mood dropped. The feelings he previously tried to cast away welled up again, causing him to blink tears away from his eyes.
 
    The moment they reached the dorm, Ryeowook hastily got out of the car and went to his room without waiting for the others. He locked the door behind him before breathing a sigh of relief, letting tears run freely down his cheeks. His thoughts went back to Kyuhyun again, and he let out a muffled sob. 

    “So, let us do a visual ranking for Super Junior.” The MC said. Ryeowook gave an inward sigh, knowing that he’ll be at the bottom again. As usual, SiWon and DongHae were the first two to be ranked. It was always the same few ranking, then it reached EunHyuk, and Ryeowook, who again, for the sake of entertainment, battled for the place of the most “ugly”.

    “Look at him! His face says ugly in every way, of course he should be at the bottom.” Comments went back and forth, trying to hype up the atmosphere and for the sake of laughter. Ryeowook didn’t take any heed of whatever hurtful remarks that was said by any of the members. It was already a norm for him, and it had become numb. Besides, he wanted the show to go well too.

    “Ok, since we can’t come to a conclusion, let’s get our magnae to make the final decision.” Ryeowook didn’t know why, but his heart thumped faster waiting for KyuHyun’s answer. He wanted to be the one KyuHyun chose as the more handsome one. He was rather sure as well, that KyuHyun would choose EunHyuk as the uglier one. After all, that’s what boyfriends do right? Make their lovers feel good and happy.

    “Well, I think the last place should be Ryeowook…” Just hearing this, his vision blurred and he felt his heart being pierced by an arrow. It felt so painful that he thought it might have shattered into a million pieces. He tuned out for the rest of KyuHyun’s explanation, blinked the tears away and put on a forced smile to continue for the rest of the show.

    Ryeowook gave another muffled sob again. He was fine with all the other members saying that to him. It meant nothing to him. But KyuHyun meant something, his words did. How could KyuHyun, of all people, say that to him? 

    They were right anyway. He thought, I’m ugly, short, fat and untalented. What gives me the right to be angry at him? He’s good-looking, tall and talented. I’m just nothing.

    “Wookie? Wookie? What happened? Open the door!” He heard a knock and KyuHyun’s voice. 

    “Just go away! Leave me alone!” He shouted before another sob broke him. It was silent for a while, and he heard footsteps getting distant. He relaxed a bit, knowing that KyuHyun had left. But just as the footsteps had left, it was heard again. This time, the rattling of keys could be heard, and he saw the doorknob turn. Widening his eyes in surprise, he cursed at himself for forgetting about the master key. He quickly turned away when KyuHyun walked in.

    “Wookie? What happened? Talk to me?”  KyuHyun kneeled beside him, giving a light touch on his arm. Upon hearing his voice, Ryeowook’s heart clenched again and he gave out another uncontrollable sob. Seeing that he was not given any response, KyuHyun sighed and proceeded to try to remove Ryeowook’s hand from his face.

    “Hey, wookie, look at me. Tell me what’s wrong?” He said gently, only to be answered by a swatting of his hand. 

    “Don’t look at me!” Ryeowook hissed before giving another sob. Kyuhyun had never been so surprised before.

    “Really, wookie. Aren’t we lovers? Tell me what happened? Let me help you.” KyuHyun continued to coax. This time, Ryeowook looked up, his face wet from crying and the makeup ruined. 

    “Lovers? How can you love me, KyuHyun? I’m just a nobody. Take a look at this face! Look at how ugly my face is, look at how short I am, and think of how untalented I am! How am I worthy of your love?” He in air before letting out another sob. KyuHyun’s eyes lighted up with realisation of what Ryeowook had been upset about the whole time. 

    “Look, wookie, you’re not ugly. I didn’t mean it like that when I chose you in the last place. I’m sorry if you thought otherwise. I never meant it like that and I really love you. Please don’t doubt that.” KyuHyun pulled Ryeowook into a hug and said, feeling his boyfriend’s shaking body against his. He ran his hands in circles at Ryeowook’s back in circle to calm him down.

    “But I’m really ugly. You were right. There’s nothing I’m good at too. What of use am I to the group? There’s nothing I can do.” Ryeowook continued.

    “Now, who said that? Remember those times where you were the ones who cared for us? Reminding us to eat meals consistently? And your voice, it’s the most beautiful thing that I want to wake up every day to. I don’t mean what I said. You will never be ugly, wookie. You have the purest heart I’ve ever seen and I’m really lucky to have you. Will you forgive me?”

    “But…” Ryeowook was still unsure of himself. KyuHyun was right, but still he felt inferior.

    “No buts. Tell me Ryeowook, do you love me?” KyuHyun pulled back and stared into those eyes, the ones that had him mesmerized the first time he met him.

    “Yes, I do.” Ryeowook whispered, wondering what KyuHyun was getting at.

    “Then it’s enough for me. I love you, and you love me. That’s enough for me. I’m sorry if I’ve hurt you in any way. I promise to make up to you. I’m really sorry.” Ryeowook looked at the magnae, and his eyes which shone with sincerity. He knew he could never stay upset at the magnae for long anyway. He melted into KyuHyun’s embrace and breathed in his scent. He was instantly calmed and felt safe as he let go of everything.

    “Besides…” Ryeowook looked up again, seeing a smirk on the magnae’s face, “you’ll always hold the first placing in my heart.” 

    Ryeowook’s eyes blurred once again, but this time with happiness, as the two closed in for a kiss.