Hyosung’s POV

                 We were in a relationship, he was often cold towards me but I didn’t bother. I love him so why would I hate that side of him, right? As a girl that loves him very much, I should accept his flaws and imperfections- and I did. Even though he did some bad things in the past, my feelings for him didn’t change but he left me alone.

                  He said that he won’t say goodbye if he leaves because it’ll hurt even more, that he didn’t believe in forever and that he can’t fulfill his promise that he won’t leave me but you know what? After hearing that from him, I loved him even more. I'm pretty stupid, right?  Yes, I know. Jeon Hyosung is so stupid.  Lee Gikwang, why did you affect me this much? I can't even look at other guys because when I do, I feel like I'm betraying you. Do you feel the same, huh? How are you doing? Are things going well?

                  I sighed deeply as I took a sip on my cafe latte. Since he left, I've been addicted to this drink maybe because he loves to drink this one. I chuckled a little as a memory suddenly came back to me.

                   It was a rainy afternoon when he visited my dorm, two cups of hot coffee with him just perfect for this kind of weather. He comfortably sat on the sofa as he fixed his hair which was kind of messy because of the wind. I sat down on the space beside him and was shocked when he suddenly pulled me into his arms, which made my heart skip a beat. "Mr. Lips.." I mumbled softly as I buried my head on his chest. He smelled so good, he still uses that perfume that I gave him. "Yes, Ms. Eyes?" I giggled as he whispered on my ear, I slowly looked up at him and smiled widely, "The coffee is getting cold and we need to drink it so we'll feel warm." He looked back at me and smiled, "Isn't my hug warmer, Ms. Eyes?"

                   I blinked a few times and nodded slowly, "It is.. but the coffee.." He removed his arms around me, then reached for the coffee. He handed me my coffee and I smiled sweetly as a sign of thank you and he nodded when he understood. I drank my coffee bit by bit which made him groan, I looked at his side and noticed that he has already finished his coffee. Wow, I didn't know that my love was so addicted to coffee. "Yah, I didn't know you loved coffee that much." I chuckled a little and continued drinking my coffee, I felt his arms wrap around me once again and I looked at him. He nuzzled his nose on the back of my neck and I heard him mumble, "I don't love coffee. I hurriedly drank it because I want to hug you because it gives me more warmth, Ms. Eyes." I couldn't help but to smile because of his sweetness, maybe the rain made him like this?

                   I quickly drank the last bit of my coffee then turned around to hug him, he smiled as I do so. He nuzzled his nose on mine, then quickly pecked my lips which made my face heated. I can feel the blood flowing to my cheeks, making me cover them to hide my blush. "Why are you hiding it? Tsk. I already saw it." He said as he removed my hands from my cheeks, and laughed. "Love, you know that I hate using the word cute but you're so cute when you blush." He pinched my cheeks, making them even redder. "Tsk! It's because you stole a kiss! You thief!" I said as I bit his shoulder, causing him to mewl.

                   "Bite monster.. tss." He said as he gave me a blank face which scared me, I chuckled nervously as I rubbed his shoulder. "I'm sorryyyy. You know that I love biting you." He shook his head as he kept on making that 'tsk' sound, "But it hurts!" I giggled then kissed his shoulder, making him smile. "There you go, it won't hurt anymore." He nodded as he gave me a kiss on the forehead and mumbled, "I love you." and I replied, "I love you more.", he gave me a kiss on the nose and mumbled, "Nope, I love you more." I shook my head as I felt my cheeks heating up, "Nope, I love you more." He smiled softly and said, "Nope, l love you most." and then gave me a soft kiss on the lips. I wrapped my arms around his neck as I closed my eyes. After a few seconds, he pulled away from the kiss and I said, "No, I love you mooost!" He smiled and nodded, "I can lose now since I have kissed you already."

                   I shook my head as I smiled bitterly, why do I keep on remembering those kind of things? I want to forget him and move on but I just can’t, I just love him so much. I wiped my tears  and smiled, I can do this! I can move on! He’s just a guy that I fell in love with! I’m a girl who has my friends and family around me, I don’t need him! I don’t need him! I don’t… I-I.. I need him. Gosh, why am I feeling this way? It’s a bitter feeling and my heart is aching. I felt my tears fall down my cheeks and I know that I should just cry this again. I looked down and sobbed quietly.

                   Lee Gikwang, you’re really bad. You keep on making me cry. I hate you. I hate you but I love you. I hate waking up knowing that I can’t talk and see you anymore because you’re gone but what can I do? You wanted it that way, and I told you that I’ll be happy if you’re happy. Oh, maybe that’s it. You’re not happy so I’m not happy as well. You know, I’m still thinking of the reason why you left. Yes, I still do. Was it because you were afraid that you’ll hurt me because of the things that you did in the past? As I told you the last time, I don’t care about your past because I love you and I’ll accept and love everything about you. You didn’t have to leave because of that. You confessed to me once and that was the confession that I can’t forget. You told me that once you disappear, I should just think of it like I haven’t met you, but how can I do that huh? How can I pretend that I don’t know you, when in fact I’m so in love with you? This may sound funny but since that day, I wanted to spend every last second with you because I’m afraid that you’ll leave me anytime, and you did. At my most unexpected time, you left.  Lee Gikwang, I know this may sound selfish but please, wherever you are. Please, don’t love somebody else. I’m still hoping that you’ll come back to me. I’m still hoping that one day, I’ll wake up in your arms again. Please, Lee Gikwang.. Please.

                   Few days after that crying scene of mine on the coffee shop, I decided to stroll around the park. I wanted to see wonderful things around me because I want to stop hiding in my room, waiting for my phone to beep. I sat on the bench as I ate my fries, I couldn’t help but to smile as I remembered that you were jealous of fries when you told me that you love me. I laughed a little and smiled. ‘Aigoo, that possessive little cutie.’

                    I saw this two high school students a few meters away, the boy was ignoring the girl and the girl stopped. She inhaled deeply before muttering the words that I heard clearly and made my heart stop,

                    “YAH! SON DONGWOON! YOU LITTLE BRAT!” The girl stopped talking then laughed for I think 1 minute and continued, “I know that this is already too late but I just want to confess my feelings for you! I have a crush on you too! You heartless beast! You didn’t even feel that I’m already falling for you! You idiot! I hate you!”

                    I just couldn’t help myself but to chuckle, those were like the words that I told you when I confessed, hah. Great. I remembered you again.

                    I was the president of the club and you were the , I was not the kind of girl that likes your cocky attitude, I often roll my eyes at you because you’re bad. You would call me Ms. Eyes because I have small eyes that when I smile, they kind of disappear. I wanted to tell you that you were like that too but your lips were much more noticeable so I called you Mr. Lips instead. There was this one time where I got at the others, you were not around that time so you didn’t know what happened but I was shocked when you came to me and said, “President, are you mad at us?” I was so shocked that I didn’t know what to respond, I felt my heart beat fast. Gosh, what was that? “Ugh, no. I am not mad.” I replied and your face brighten up a bit. “I also got mad at them when I knew what happened.” I looked at you with a confused look, you just shook your head and smiled. “Don’t mind that, noona. I missed you though.” That’s it. I felt that indescribable feeling in my stomach again, it’s ticklish.

                    Since that day, you would often talk to me and open up to me. I just couldn’t help but to admire that true attitude of yours. You were also soft inside and that’s when I knew I had a crush on you. I would even tell my best friend some things about you and they already knew. That I’m falling.

                    You announced something when we’re on the club room, you told everyone that you like someone in the club. I hoped that I was the one but you left us with a clue. The one that you like has 4 letters in her name. I thought to myself, is it me? But my name is Jun Hyosung. I couldn’t stop thinking about it but then, I realized.. B-o-r-a. Her name consists of four letters and so does Pres, the nickname that you would often call me. But I was suddenly bewildered when Bora confessed to you, just right in front of my eyes. I didn’t know what to react that time, I was hurt but I forced myself to smile. I was happy for the both of you. I decided to stop my feelings for you but I can’t. I couldn’t stop thinking of you, damn it was hard.

                     Bora, Minzy and I were hanging out in the club room, and I was teasing Bora. “So you were the 4 letters he’s referring to? Yiiiiie!” I chuckled a little, but later stopped when she looked at me seriously and said. “No, Hyosung. You were that four letters, it was from the nickname he calls you which is Eyes.” I was so speechless that time that I didn’t notice you. You were looking at us coldly as you made your way towards me, you pulled my hand and I was shocked.

                     We were alone in the garden, and you were still looking at me coldly. “So you know it already?” You said as you pulled your hand away from mine, I nodded slowly and smiled. “Yes, I know it already.” You nodded, then turned your back on me. I knew it, you’ll be cocky again so I shouted before you could leave the garden. “YAH! LEE GIKWANG! YOU LITTLE BRAT! WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME, HUH? YOU’RE SUCH A COWARD! I LIKE YOU TOO, OKAY? I LIKE YOU TOO! TSK. YOU IDIOT!”  You stopped walking then turned around, shocked. “W-What?” I chuckled and shouted again, “ I LIKE YOU IDIOT!”

                      I felt my eyes moisten again as I remembered it, I really hate it when I suddenly have this flashbacks. They’re hurting me but what can I do? They make me happy too because you were in those memories, Gikwang. Aish, when will you come back? It’s still you, Gikwang. It’s still you.