“You’re insane, Hyoyeon. Truly. And I’m insulted.” 

Hyoyeon laughed. “Have you seen some of those men? It’s completely amazing what make-up can do. You may be insulted, but I’m not even kidding. I’m jealous of some of them.” 

Joohyun crossed her arms over her chest. “Men are men, they are not meant to look better than a woman. All the make-up in the world couldn't make a man more beautiful than a woman, than me!” 

“Still so shallow, even after all this time,” Kyuhyun lamented - yet again wondering why he had even agreed to go out for drinks with his ex and her best friend. “Make-up has done a lot for you, Joohyun. For instance, you no longer look like a fifteen-year-old.” 

She threw a dirty look at him and shook her head. “I say it’s impossible.” 

“Let’s find out then,” Hyoyeon suggested, happily typing away on her handphone and triumphantly showing the two others a flyer for a drag club. “I’ve been dying to check this out and why not now?” 

The club was quite larger than they had expected it to be. It was very tasteful, too. Joohyun hadn't even complained when they found seats near the front of the stage and were immediately tended to by a waiter. Nothing about the place screamed: GAY!

“What did you expect?” Kyuhyun laughed when Joohyun voiced her shock. “Were you actually looking forward to men wearing nothing but bowties?” 

Hyoyeon giggled at the pair and sipped her drink, waiting almost impatiently. “This is so exciting.” 

Kyuhyun had to disagree. There wasn’t really anything happening. Music was playing, some people were dancing, others were simply sitting and drinking. That was pretty much how it was at most bars he’d ever gone to with Joohyun and her gaggle. Aside from the awesome service and the cheap admission, it was just okay. In truth, much like the pouting woman to his left, he had expected to walk in and find men in various stages of undress ing to some techno beat. He’d seen one too many episodes of Queer As Folk. 

They had been there for fifteen minutes before a waiter came to their table to refresh their drinks. Hyoyeon took the initiative to inquire about the night’s entertainment, as it was the only reason they were there. The waiter, whose bedazzled name tag - the sole indicator of the establishment’s eccentric nature - read LEO, gave them a small smile. “It’ll be starting in about five minutes.” 

“What is it?” Joohyun asked, and Kyuhyun leaned, very much intrigued. “We have a few amateurs tonight,” Leo informed, “Only for about an hour. Afterwards, we’ll have a special treat. Real queens of the trade.” 

An hour later, Kyuhyun regretted coming here. He was pretty sure he already knew every word to The Wonder Girls’ ‘Nobody’ even if he didn’t when he walked in. Hyoyeon was having the time of her life cheering or booing along with the crowd that had grown around the stage. So far, neither Kyuhyun nor Joohyun were too impressed with the men who still looked very much like men lip syncing. 

“This was such a waste of time, “Joohyun groaned, staring uncomfortably at the stage. “I was right all along. These men look ridiculous. Take me home.” 

Kyuhyun snorted. “You’re not my responsibility anymore, remember?” 

“Don’t be such an , Kyuhyun. Just take me home.” 

Deciding that going home was probably a better option than watching who knew how many more men parading across the stage in clothing that showed off far too much and probably the wildest eye make-up Kyuhyun had ever seen, he rolled his eyes and stood up. The gentlemen in him offered a hand to Joohyun. 

“I have to tell Hyo we’re leaving.” 

“Then hurry up.” Joohyun scowled at him but pursed her lips and ventured into the throng of people, trying to find her petite friend. 

Before Kyuhyun could pull out his wallet to pay for his portion of the drinks, the bright lights of the club dimmed and a sole spotlight lit up the stage. A woman in a short black dress with short blonde hair and red lips stood there, smiling at everyone. She was pretty, really pretty. Kyuhyun tilted his head to the side, appraising her figure up and down. Aside from a small chest, she had a nice body to match her pretty face. Her dark eyes drank up the crowd and she raised a microphone to her lips, still smiling. 

“It’s so good to see all of you again. It’s been so long since I was last able to meet all of you. Did you miss me?” That was a masculine voice. That was an Adam's apple bobbing up and down the column of her pale neck. 

Dumbstruck, Kyuhyun fell back into the seat he was previously occupying. “I’ve come back to my favorite club to grace you all with my fabulous presence!” 

“I told you!” Hyoyeon yelled over the screaming crowd as she dragged a sour-faced Joohyun back to their table. 

A hard beat started echoing through the club and Kyuhyun’s gaze was torn from the pair. The man on stage was now lying on the floor, his hips ing in the air. Kyuhyun was practically entranced. He knew that was a man! 

The pretty man had begun to dance now, a nearly flawless routine compared to those who had come before him. 

“He probably had plastic surgery to get that face. I mean look at him. No one looks like that!” Joohyun argued as Hyoyeon danced beside her, triumphantly smirking at her friend. 

The man performed several songs that Kyuhyun was informed were all by Lady Gaga. 

“Thank you, everyone. Don’t forget to follow me on Twitter at ‘queenheesica’ to keep up with my activities and appearances! I’ll be back competing in the Miss Drag-tastic contest this year! Be sure to vote for HeeSica this year.” 

Hyoyeon took her seat, still smiling impossibly wide at the pair with her. Kyuhyun’s eyes were still transfixed on the drag queen who was accepting gifts from men and women - he thought they were women, he was probably wrong. Joohyun was pissed off to say the least. 

For the second time that night, the lights went low. Instead of a spotlight, the stage was illuminated with pink lights. 

Kyuhyun was ready for another man who maybe looked like a woman. What he was not ready for was a man wearing tiny black shorts that clung to the curves of his and… were those s? 

“She’s ing hot,” Hyoyeon blurted, standing from her seat and pushing through the crowd to the stage. 

“This is so stupid!” Joohyun snapped, grabbing her purse and leaving Kyuhyun sitting alone. 

“Are you in, living in sin is the new thing,” the cross-dresser on the stage sang. Kyuhyun was thrown back by the realization that the man was really singing and he didn’t sound bad at all. 

He’d been too entranced with the man’s s to notice anything else. But when he did look at the man’s face, he understood why Joohyun had left. She was proven wrong yet again. Because this was a beautiful face and from where Kyuhyun sat, it was completely natural and wearing very little make-up.

“One, two, three, Peter, Paul, and Mary.” 

Kyuhyun was sure the drag queen winked at him at least once with her… his… their… big brown eyes. 

“Is this monstrosity over yet?” Joohyun whined, taking her seat ten minutes later. 

“Hands down, HyunMin is my favorite queen. She even grabbed my hand,” Hyoyeon gushed. “I mean, any man who can dance to Britney’s ‘Slave 4 U’ in stilettos is a hero in my book.” 

Kyuhyun nodded in agreement. Hyoyeon snorted as she paid for their drinks, waving away Kyuhyun’s attempt to chip in to pay their tab. 

“You both are just as gross as those men parading as women.” 

As they left, a flyer was shoved into Joohyun’s hand and she glared at the man who’d put it there. Hyoyeon took it from her and read the words aloud, “Miss Drag-tastic. Come one, come all, come see your queens fall. Only one can wear the crown. Blood baths never sounded so fun. Open to all fantastic queens who think they’ve got what it takes to sit in the throne.” 

“Can we leave now? Being here is probably bad for my health.” Joohyun was pouting, still annoyed and Kyuhyun thought it would be fun to beat her while she was down. 

“I’m sure if you ask them for help, they’d give you advice on how not to look like Sister Christian.”

“I don’t know what that means,” Joohyun snapped, “But shut up, Kyuhyun! Maybe you should ask them how you could look like less of a .” 

“They’d probably tell him how to hide his .”

A heavy haze fell over Joohyun’s eyes and her lips twisted into a dark smile. “Now, that’s an idea.”