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To Find a Meaning

The lead in his mechanical pencil split in half.

A sigh, a click, an inhale of fresh air, an exhale.  Kim Myungsoo rubbed his eyes with the back of his right hand, massaging his temples as he gazed outside the window in front of his desk.  Outside, he admired the small garden of sunflowers, and shifted his eyes toward the closed window with no blinds.  Checking the vintage timepiece peering over him, he stood up to stretch and start a break from his personal study period.  He took a sip from the half-full glass of water, before setting it back down on the other side of his desk and detouring to the balcony neighbouring his bedroom.

He leaned over the wooden fence, taking note of the glimmering city to the left, the neighbouring house in front of him, and a park with foresting trees growing by its gates to the right.  Smiling to himself, he recalled the distinct purpose of why he had chosen this house exactly.  He decided to buy the house for this particular balcony view, overlooking many wonders that he saw in the smallest things, like the garden that had been stationed there when he first saw it.  He felt that it gave him a story when he didn't have one himself.

Planning for the future was something big for Myungsoo as he found himself constantly studying in the present, lacking any notable purpose in the life he lived.  He bought a big house for a future wife and possibly children, yet he found himself cooped up in his bedroom, idly existing as a human being and studying, studying, studying.  Before, he had attempted to make a single friend, but to no avail, as he simply preferred the company of himself alone, he decided after graduating high school.  When he moved in, his belongings were placed in not the master bedroom, but the small bedroom with the balcony and view.  He wanted to save everything else for the meaning he yearned, which mostly revolved around love.  He never had childish crushes in high school, but he read of love in novels.  He felt that he didn't need to work himself up over immature attractions, when he centered his priorities to studying.

He found himself living in that house for all of his college years so far, still searching for something, anything besides the city in front of him at the moment, that could possibly spark his empty pages.

He had no story- just photographs of stories.

He decided to pass his break time by capturing something through his camera.  Retrieving the device from the box that held the most meaningful items (or which held whatever minimal meaning he had found in life), he flipped the switch to start shooting, before he pressed a button to display his gallery.  Previously, he had taken approximately 1,400 photos.  This doesn't count previous memory cards which he had used up, several of them piling up in a small box he set a few months ago on a corner in his desk.  Some days, he would find many interesting things through his photographs.  He wasn't nearly professional; photography was an obsessive hobby.  He had also taken time in teaching himself the guitar and piano, but didn't commit to it as much as he did with photography.  One thing he hoped for in the future was to pass on such a passion to his children.  He wanted them to have a passionate hobby in something like he did.

Countless times before, Myungsoo had captured photographs of the same garden, and the flowers would be different every few months or so.  However, he never came around to catching a good look of whoever gardened the land; however, on random occasions, he would catch glimpses of what he assumed was a female silhouette, exiting the house's front gate.  He assumed she didn't live there, as the window hovering over the garden revealed an empty bedroom, and the grass on the front lawn had many unpicked weeds.

Finding nothing interesting in the city streets or the park, he decided to take another picture of the garden.  Before, he had already taken a picture of the garden in its current state, but this time, he tried capturing it at a different angle.  

He didn't know if it was because of the dead late night or if he was just inapt to spotting the sight, but from the angle he attempted to take the photo at, he recognized the same silhouette he had noticed before.  He recalled the long, straight hair outlining the side of her face, her tall and lean figure, and feminine curves.  At the moment, she was clothed in a crew neck and jeans, her feet covered in Converse sneakers.  The weather outside was a balmy 70 degrees, as it was summertime in Seoul, South Korea.  She appeared to be watering the potted sunflowers.

A lightbulb lit up over Myungsoo's head.  She could be my spark.  Before he could stop himself, he lifted the camera's viewfinder to his right eye and captured the girl holding the watering can over the sunflowers.  The city lights of Seoul were enough to easily depict her side profile.

Myungsoo returned to his bedroom, and although one would find some incident like that downright creepy, Myungsoo couldn't stop his smile as he decided to retire for the night.  He watched the glow of the moon rays on his wall as he lay on his bed,

thinking, I found my spark.

 

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HannahKate
7/10/17; the past few updates have been short and ill-thought out. i apologize. i've been more pressed for content, but i guess that's the whole point.

Comments

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arnicutie #1
Chapter 5: Please update soon..
Meredithaan
#2
Absent first..:)
Finally I got new Suzy fic..