Hoseok's POV

Sigh

Taehyung. I really can’t move in this bed with you and all these stuffed toys.
His face is so peaceful when he sleeps with them, though, clutching at least four under each arm, framing his face and sides. I guess I’ll just go back to my bed; he won’t miss me.

--

We’re in the bus on the way to the studio, for another day of dancing until our legs won’t move, singing and rapping until our throats go dry and our tongues go stiff. The maknaes are sitting in the back, squealing and giggling, seeing who can take the most stupid selca. I lean my head against the window, staring out into the blur of grey that was the streets of Seoul, but not really seeing anything. My thoughts were pre-occupied with the idiot in the back, who was still clutching the stuffed toy he had deemed his favourite for the day. The thoughts wander to the backmost chambers of my mind, where the suppressed jealousy of those damn stuffed toys lies. I can barely admit it to myself that I wish he would hold my hand in the way he grips the paw of his stuffed lion, or wrap his firm, developed arms around my stomach while he slept, when instead that honour was given to each toy respectively – unless they’d offended him in one way or another.

My body is shaken out of my mental reverie as the van pulls to stop, and Jin’s shoving at my arm to grab my attention. We have arrived. Namjoon’s trying to get the maknaes to calm down and stop jumping so much, but he’s a pushover, and they begin jumping on him.  I would almost feel sorry for him, if I had Taehyung by my side and his hands weren’t currently clinging to Namjoon’s shoulders as he uses them as leverage for his avid jumps, shrieking about something that only the other two maknaes can comprehend, and jealously wasn’t clawing up my insides.

--

The beat of our new song is strong, courtesy of Yoongi’s long hours, day and night, spent in front of a dim computer screen with his headphones on, as we all know despite him being too humble to admit it.

Everyone’s breath is coming in sharp and uneven, and our chests are heaving.
“Alright, everyone take five,” Namjoon pants as he walks over to his drink bottle, his shoulders slumping against the wall.

The maknaes have finally settled, each of them too dedicated to the group and the comeback to mess around. Jimin and Jungkook’s dancing was on point today, and even Taehyung had shown improvement in the last few run throughs we did.
I look up from my position on the floor to see Taehyung wandering over to me, with his plushie returned to its spot in his hand and the pop-top of his drink bottle dangling from his mouth haphazardly. His head hangs low from exhaustion and his sweat-slicked hair flops in his eyes, and Tae is obviously too worn-out to flick it out again. He flops down heavily next to me, and a laboured sigh gets exuded from his lungs gustily. I cast a sidelong glance at him when he leans against me, and I’m hit with the full force of this gorgeous boy’s eyes: the smooth, graceful lines of his upper lid, and the big round irises that peep out from under long eyelashes and can get their way in a second.

A soft whine of “hyung~” leaves his lips, and a smile creeps to mine, and the arm that he’s leaning against gets shifted over his shoulders so Tae can get comfortable. Slowly, those gorgeous eyes drift to a shut and Tae’s breathing gets slightly deeper. The rest of the room fades away as I soak in every detail of him, and in these remaining minutes of our break he is all that concerns me, and I’m drowning in his presence in the most wonderful way possible. I do my best to ignore the fact that, despite leaning against me, he is curled around that damn stuffed toy. Anyone else would think it’s cute, but I have the impression that it’s borderline obsession. Sometimes, I can swear that he talks to them. It doesn’t deter my affections, though, and everyday he gives me new reasons to become more infatuated with this ball of fluff and talent, and the personality that ties it all together. If Tae would have me, I can’t think of anything better than to spend my life with him, with or without BTS to tie us together.

All too soon, Namjoon’s calling us back into formation. The bass shakes the room once more, and I’m forced to tear my thoughts away from Taehyung.

--

Again, we are being piled into the van to head back to the dorm, all of us favouring or massaging at least one stiff, cramped or seized muscle; those of us who are above the age of nineteen, anyway.

We are nearly home, so close, when we hear a frantic “stop!” come from the back seat of the van and we’re all shocked back to our senses.
“What,” comes the irritated groan from Namjoon.
“I’ve left Taeil at the studio! Please, hyungs we have to go back and get him!” Taehyung cries, hysteria scratching his voice.
“Tae, weren’t you carrying Zelo yesterday?” Yoongi asks in one of his more alert moments. No one listens to him though, urging Namjoon to give the right answer with their eyes.
Namjoon is already shaking his head, albeit hesitantly, when I speak up, “No way, Tae-ah. We’re all beat and we’re not spending more time out of the shower and beds for your stuffed toy!”
You could’ve heard crickets in the silence that followed if Tae wasn’t sniffling, and I can feel all eyes on me, wide in shock at the tone I have just used.
“Look, I’m sorry Tae but we’re going to be there tomorrow, and the next day and then the day after that, so you’re not going to be without it for long. Please, can we just go home and relax,” I amend.
A sulky, reluctant grunt of acceptance comes from the backseat, and everyone returns to how they had been a second ago – for most that means putting headphones in and getting precious seconds more of shuteye.

We pull up outside the dorm’s complex and it’s the same drill as at the studio, except everyone is moving slower and the threads that hold our tempers together are running thin.
Finally, PD Nim is unlocking the door and we are piling inside. It was my turn to have first shower, and I relished my few minutes that I had in piping hot water that worked its way through each of my knotted muscles. Thoughts of Tae tickle the sides of my conscience, but I’m far too tired to do anything about it, instead shutting off the water and wrapping myself in the fluffy towel from the waist down. I barely make it to my bed before collapsing, not bothering to put pants on.  I can hear the other boys in the living room and kitchen, as somehow the maknaes have summoned more energy. G Dragon’s new album is playing – no doubt courtesy of Jungkook – softly enough to not anger the neighbours but loud enough that it carries through all of the rooms. I can imagine the stupid dances that the boys are doing, and surely enough GD gets changed to Miss A – undoubtedly courtesy of one of the 95 liners.

One by one, the boys come to collect their clothes from the room and I listen to each shower, and it creates a soothing backdrop for my thoughts. Tae is probably pissed at me, but I know he’ll still ask for me to squish in with him tonight in his bed, as I create the extra warmth that his teddies lack. I have a new found energy for the thoughts that begin to niggle and worm their way into my head, but not now, with the door unlocked and uncertainty with who could come in at any given time. I heave a deep sigh and roll off my bed into a standing position, hand clutching at the now loose knot that keeps my towel up, and shuffle over to where a pair of underwear lay, their state of cleanliness unknown, but tiredness prevents me from caring enough to look for another pair.

Now decent, I make my way out into the kitchen where someone has prepared instant ramen, grab a bowl and flop on the couch. Jimin and Jungkook, now showered, continue their dance show for all of us, showcasing their new girl group routines that they’ve obviously been practising in what little free time that we’re given. Taehyung is sitting this one out on the floor, leaning against the couch amongst everyone’s feet, away from me, curled into a moody little ball without any hint of a stuffed toy. That’s a first. He’s probably still mourning the loss of his other companion. I’m tempted to join in with the dances, but decide against it when I weigh it against the tension that gets exchanged in roils between me and Taehyung. There’s no denying that Jungkook and Jimin are adorable when they do these dances though, with their imitations of the wiggles performed so perfectly by the pros. Jimin always manages to make it ual though, coincidentally enough always when Yoongi’s around, not that there’s any secret that there’s something there between them. Myself, Jin and Namjoon have all come across at least one of their intimate – some more or less compromising – moments with one another. It makes me wonder if Taehyung and I could work out while living the idol life. We could do it. Maybe. If he accepts me as his comfort instead of those damn stuffed toys. I restrain a sigh from leaving me, settling for a yawn instead. I stretch up and outwards through my arms, releasing tension down my back. Namjoon looks over at me and gets the idea.
“Alright guys, we’ve got another big day tomorrow, off to bed.”
Grumbles resound through the group, even Yoongi, whose mouth is comically hanging open.
Slowly, everyone makes it to their beds, whispering to each other in the quiet that is left behind now that the music is turned off.

I can’t sleep though. I had expected Tae to come to me, even though he’s angry with me.

I fight internally with myself, one side arguing against giving in to the boy, begging the other side to just let me sleep, whereas the other side just wants to cuddle Tae, and won’t let me sleep until I do. Its victory is proven as I tiptoe out of my bed towards Tae’s. I kneel down beside his bed and rest my arms against the edge of his mattress.
“Tae,” I whisper, hoping he’s awake. By the rigidness of his sleeping figure, and his uneven, shallow breathing, I guess he is. I reach one hand out to shake Tae’s shoulder, earning a groan from him. “I know you’re awake. Let me in.” I shake his shoulder again, slightly rougher this time.
“What,” Tae whines, finally rolling down onto his back..
“I’m sorry for speaking harshly to you, I know how much those teddies mean to you.”
“They’re not just teddies. They’re my friends, Hobi,” he answers gruffly.
“Okay, I’m sorry,” I pause, mulling the offer over in my head before I make it. “If you want, today I can be your teddy as well as your friend.”
“Really? You would?” Tae asks, leaning up on his elbows and looking me dead in the eye.
“Yeah. And any other time you want.”
The eager nod I get from that warms me down to my toes. I stand up when Tae pulls the corner of his duvet up, allowing me entrance to his bed.
I climb in, and allow Taehyung to wrap his sturdy arms around my torso, and bury his nose in my neck. My senses go into overload, with the smell of the shampoo in his still damp hair and the body wash on his skin dancing in the air around us, his broad muscles covering as much of my skin as they can, his breath tickling my neck and his deep, contented breathing taking me over. I tentatively place a kiss on his forehead, and then settle back down into the bed.

This isn’t forever, but it’ll do for now.

--

My limbs are stiff, my mind fuzzy. I try to roll over, but there’s an arm securing me in my position. I twitch my fingers but they don’t move. I expect the panic to settle in, but I can’t feel my heart beating or my face heating up. What the ? Why can’t I move? Am I even breathing? What’s going on? I feel something tickling just under my eyes. Why does it feel like fur? Has one of Tae’s stuffed toys crept up under my face? I try to wiggle again. No movement.

Okay, I went to bed with Tae, we cuddled, we fell asleep. No more, no less.

What the ?
I don’t know how long I’ve been lying here waiting for something to move, whether it be internally or externally, but finally the hold around me changes, so it’s not so tight anymore. Suddenly, there’s light. Wait, it was dark before? How didn’t I notice that?

I’m moving, but I don’t remember telling myself to do that. No, I’m not moving; I’m being moved. My stomach drops as I’m lifted into the air, the vice-like pressure returned to my abdomen. The hold shifts again and I’m being cradled. I can see where I am now. I’m… in the dorm? Is it the dorm? It looks like the dorm, but enlarged ten times. I try to move my neck to look up at who – or what – is carrying me. No such hope, as my neck is still stiff as a board.

Just as I’m starting to get seasick from the movement, that I’m guessing is my captor walking, I get plopped down onto a hard, flat, wooden surface, next to a bowl of food. I try to breathe in, to get a better understanding of my surroundings, but my airways are blocked. I feel the need to cough to loosen my throat up somehow, but to no avail.

My hearing still works, though. I can hear the voices, giant voices, of the rest of the group. From what I can make out, it’s Jimin and Namjoon and the usual morning grunts and mumbles. I want to scream, to let them know I’m here; it’s me. Why can’t they tell it’s me? Why can’t they tell that something is wrong?

My desperation is becoming nearly unbearable. At this point, my heart should be racing. I shouldn’t be able to keep still. I should have screamed for help.
More members fill the room until I can tell that everyone’s here.
They don’t notice that I’m not, though.
“Is that a new teddy, Tae?” I hear Junkook inquire. He’s always been the one to take interest in Taehyung’s obsession. I didn’t notice any new toys.
Something picks me up by the waist again. Why do I feel more parallel to the ground than usual?
Now I’m being waved around. Awesome. If I had the power, I would be being violently sick right now.
“Yeah, I got him yesterday,” I hear Tae reply.
I can sense the confusion in the group – the ones paying attention to the exchange between the maknaes, anyway – but no one says anything. When did he get a chance to get a new teddy yesterday? I’d spend more time pondering that if I wasn’t so close to passing out from panic and motion sickness.

“Hey, has anyone seen Hoseok-hyung today?” Jimin’s voice pipes up from somewhere. “I need to go over some stuff with him, but he’s not in his room or the bathroom.”
“I’m here! I’m right here! Look at me!” I want to scream.
“No, I haven’t seen him,” Namjoon answers, concern evident in his voice. “Have you seen him, Tae?”
A pause. Odd. “Nope,” his voice sounds. I can’t help but notice that his voice came from incredibly close behind me.
“Huh… Okay… maybe he took a walk,” Jimin muses.
A walk? I don’t take walks! When have I ever taken a walk? I knew these guys were dim but come on.

--

At a nail-bitingly snail pace, breakfast finally came to a finish and I was being carried away again, this time under the fluorescent bathroom lights. I was placed gently down on the bathroom sink, facing the wall.
There’s a mirror there.
Why can’t I see myself?
My instinct is to touch my face, make sure that I am still here. I can’t do that though, obviously.
I judge the distance from my position to the mirror, and then figure out where I should be reflected. In the place that I work out I should be there is instead a horse plushie.
What the actual ?
And there’s Tae standing next to me, combing through his caramel coloured hair. By looking into the mirror I can see him throwing glances and small smile in the horse plushie’s direction. Or is it my direction?
--
I am now back in Taehyung’s bed, which is where I assume I woke up this morning, and I’m watching Tae get changed. It’s almost painful to watch, and I’m regretting not taking the opportunity to relieve my desires last night when I had the chance, as it seems I won’t ever again.

I lose my balance and fall to the side and see the myriad of plushies that line Tae’s bed.
I swear that they’re looking at me.

I feel what I know now to be Tae’s hand lift me back up again, pointing me in the direction of his face.
“I’m sorry that I had to do this Hobi, but you’re my favourite. I have to keep you, forever. You said that you’d be my teddy. You’re my teddy now. Today, you’ll come with me to the dance studio, and perhaps I’ll even let you come to our stages when we have our come back. Tonight, you can meet all your new friends,” Taehyung croons at me, his minty breath washing over my face, bringing with it the shock of his words.
Even if I did have the ability to move, I would still be frozen. I’m actually a stuffed animal. What kind of sick joke is this!? What kind of sorcerer is Taehyung, and who will be his next victim?
Moreover: a horse? Really? Ha ha, a very funny, cruel joke, Tae.
This is a nightmare.

This is my forever.

Okay~ So that's that.

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Sam James xx