I’m forgetting you one by one, burying memories of you
As if it was just a typical dream, it’s all right
So I try to awkwardly smile once again
When your thick scent passes by me, I die, kills me inside

Its 0:30 and i am sitting in my bed.

Back leaned on the wall i think about my life.

I cant sleep... It has been a month.

Since it happened...

Me and Bae were happy together... 

We really were, but his schedule just got busier and busier.

We never saw each other.

I think you can guess what happened next...

We fought, said awful things and left each other . 

Its hard. Harder than i thought... 

I cant live without him.

I cant sleep, eat or do anything.

And to think he doesn't even care.

For a whole month he didn't contact me...

Guess he moved on. 

And again i am sitting here alone thinking off him.

I look to my side where he used sleep so peacefully. 

He would come from his tour or from the studio and just snuggle up against me.

I would always sense the bed dipping as his firm hands pulled me back.

Pulled me into his chest and his intoxicating perfume.

He felt like home, warm and forgiving.

Now, the little teddy bear he bought me at the carnival kept me warm.

That was out first date, just thinking of it makes me cringe.

We were so awkward and shy at first.

But, as months passed by and then years i knew we were gonna be forever.

I was there for him through everything.

He was my first love and my last.

Does he think of me?

Does he even care?

These questions were on my mind constantly.

I heard his new song Eyes Nose Lips. 

I remember him saying how beautiful my eyes were.

How he could lose himself in them.

I also remember him saying how i have changed.

How i dont care anymore like all life was out of my eyes.

My eyes...

You used to love them Bae. 

What happened?

It was getting too much...

The thoughts were too much.

I look at my phone

0:55

I should sleep.... But i cant.

Ring Ring

I look at my phone

Caller ID 

Jiyong

Wait, what? Why is Jiyong calling me?

" A-annyonseong?" you say.

" HYERI! Where are you?!" his voice was really loud.

I could hear music behind him, he was probably in a club.

" Home! Why?" 

" Taeyang is coming to your house! I am sorry Hyeri! I tried to stop him!" he said.

Your heart stopped at the sound of his name.

Bae is coming?

Why? 

You could hear your heart beat in your ears.

" I-i... Its fine, Ji." you whisper.

" Are you gonna be okay?!" 

" Yeah, dont worry. Bye."  

You hang up quickly shuffling out of bed.

What am i supposed to do?!

You look at your phone.

1 am

Knock knock knock

You jump at the sound.

This while situation was really frightening.

You slowly walk to the living room.

Staring at the door you think this over.

" Y-yes?" you say.

" Hyeri... Please." his voice was heard.

It was weak and silent.

You open the door to be faced with the man you love.

Bae was dressed in a tux and looked amazing.

But, he was obviously tipsy.

" Can i come in?" he asks not looking at you.

You open the door letting him in.

He slowly walks in looking around.

" Nothing changed much..." he whispers.

" What do you want Bae?" you ask slightly irritated.

" I- i am sorry Hyeri..." he whispers.

" I am sorry for letting you go. I cant live without you. I dont care if i look pathetic or weak i love you. Please baby i cant do this anymore..." his voice cracking.

He looks up at you with tears in his eyes.

He was hurt and worried and you could see it all.

" Bae..." 

Suddenly he hugs you tightly.

You could feel his heart beating so fast.

Moving away he cupped your cheeks.

" Hyeri... Saranghae" he whispers.

Leaning in he kisses me.

His lips were so soft just like i remembered. 

His kisses were so sweet and light like i was going to break or something.

Moving away first i look at him.

" Bae... Dont ever do that again." you whisper.

He smiles at you

" I will never leave Hyeri..." 

~~Never~~

You remember those words while looking down.

Slowly you lean in and place a single red rose on the stone surface. 

" You said forever Bae... What happened?" you whispered at his grave.

At Youngbae' s grave...