You are about to walk out of the cafe as your orders are ready. You decide to take them home. You don’t want to eat alone in the middle of the crowd. You turn around finding something make your feet frozen. You see you-know-it-best figure in front of you. it’s him. It’s been years you haven’t see him in person. You’ve been watching on him all the time, without him knowing, of course. You have told yourself for so many times not to watch him and get it over but you just couldn’t stop your heart. It’s like your heart had it’s own will, it did not want to listen you and your brain. And your heart wants him. As always.

You tried so hard to hiding your face and walked pass him but it’s too late. He saw you. He came closer, placing  a slight smile in his face.

“Hey.” He says awkwardly as he rubbed his temple. He’s looking at the ground and then to the other  before he stares at your eyes.

“H-h..hey” you stutter, put a slight smile trying to make it comfortable for the two of you.

He asked for your time. He brings you to the nearest park. Both of you sit in the bench.

“You still love to take the foods home?” he starts conversation. You shocked, never guessed he still remember your habit. You nooded as replied.

“How have been you doing?” he’s trying  to start the conversation.

“Good, i’m good.” You assure him a smile.

“You look more beautiful than the last time i saw you.” he blurted.

You chuckle at his words. “It’s been years, Jiyong. ”

“four.” He whispered.

“hmm?” you asked.

“it’s been four years.” You look to the ground. Guilty hits you. “How are you?” you trying to split the topic.

“I’m fine but I still can’t over you.” he said.

“You did not change Jiyong-ah, still cheesy, huh?” you said as you trying to laugh as naturally as you can.

“So do you, still thinking that i’m not serious when i am” he chuckled sarcastically. “Sooo...how’s Doojoon?”

“hmm?” you shocked, didn’t guess he will asked about him. You’re about to answer him when he continued.

“He told me, what’s actually had happened a week ago ____-ah”

---

Flashback

“So, what do you say?” Yang Hyun Suk asked about your choice. No words came from your mouth. “It’s all for his good, think about it.”

He called you and gave you choices that you can’t choosed. He asked you to left him. He’s shining like a star, no he is, he’s a star when both of you finally could be together. The news of you and him dating arrived in Yang Hyung Suk’s ear. That old man didn’t want him to date a girl at that time though he’s allowed to date. Classic.

“You don’t want to ruin his carrier, do you?” he said, “i don’t know will his fans would accept your relationship. You don’t want him to be left by his fans, do you?” he continued saying thing you don’t wanna hear. Things you have been thinking all the time until he made you sure about this relationship.

“Okay.” You said. As you walked out of his office holding back your tears that were rolling down on your cheek. you took out your phone already dialed someone's number.

"Doojoon-ah" you said. doojoon is your bestfriend. he's the one you can lean on before Jiyong comes.

---

"Are you sure doing this ____-ah?" Doojoon asked you hesitantly.

"I have to, i don't have a choice."

"It will hurt him, you know it hurts when we see someone we love cheating on us."

"That's the purpose Doojoon, to hurt him so he will hate me." you said blankly. There's nothing you can do, you need him, you want him but he need his fans, he needs his passion. this is what he was dreaming of. leaving him for his sake, such a classic excuses, but it's always successed. you can't be selfish. Love isn't selfish.

---

That day Jiyong promised you to come to your apartment after practiced as a date. he hummed a song as he made a walk to your place. he wondered when he found your door wasn't locked and a pair of a man shoes. he heard a man's voice as you giggled at his word. he knew that voice. 

*Doojoon's voice?* he confused why doojoon was there in your place in the night you promised him to watched film together because you two couldn't date in the public spots. but he didn't mind it all, Doojoon's your bestfriend, anyway. but what he saw next made him burnt in angry. jiyong give him a punch right in his face when he saw doojoon kissed you. 

"arghh..." Doojoon growled in pain.

"Jiyong! what are you doing?" you yelled at him as you helped Doojoon.

"what? i should be the one who asking! are you cheating on me with your bestfriend?" 

you collected all of your strength to stare at him "Yes. and I love him!"

"You said you love me!" he yelled at you. you let out a chuckled "...and you believe me?"

you can see anger in Jiyong's eyes. he left you and Doojoon without a word and slammed the door. your eyes started to wet. tears were rolling down on your cheek. *I'm sorry Jiyong-ah* you cried. doojoon hugged you.

after that incident,you never called him, jiyong never called you. you did it. you did make him hate you. you only watched him from the screen. you turned to be his fan, searching news about him, searched what he's been doing, searched who's he dated. you did that for four years until the day he shown up in front of you.

end of flashback

---

"why are you that stupid?"

"I'm sorry Jiyong-ah" you look at to the ground. 

"No, I'm the one who's stupid. I should have known it.I need four years to figure it out."

"and do you know the most stupid things I did in that four years?" he continued as he stares at your already wet eyes.

"dated so many girls so i could get over you."  he chuckled bitterly.

"But it felt so lonely, it felt like there's a hole in my heart that none could complete it, but you"

"Jiyooong" you whispered his name.

"shh... don't cry" as he wiped your tears with his tumb. he leaned in,, slowly closed his eyes and crash his lips against yours gently. giving you a soft 'and warm kiss you missed the most. you kissed him back. you can feel he's smiling in the middle of the kiss. he broke up the kiss, leaning his forehead against yours, "don't you dare to leave, stay, won't you?" he whispered. you nodded happily before he crash his lips with yours for the second time.