Donghae felt as though he were this close to fainting. His insides shuddered and shrieked at his body to stop, and yet, he willed himself to keep moving, to not give into the the highly tempting idea of simply collapsing to the floor and actually falling asleep for a couple hours, sweaty exercise clothes and all.

    He looked around at all the other members, everyone smoothly going through the choreography, minds intent on getting through practice. And, in that moment, Donghae realized with a jolt that he was observing the members going through the steps and standing there like a fool when he should have been doing the exact same thing.

    The main choreographer-hyung yelled, “Stop!” and slowly, everyone came to a pause, heads turning to look at Donghae, who stood in the middle of the line-up, body now completely tensed up in dread

    The room was deadly quiet, but it wasn’t as though Donghae realized any of that. To him, it was deafeningly loud with the sound of his heartbeat roaring in his ears and the different scoldings that he was certain were to come rushing through his mind. Silently, he cursed himself for, yet again, being so utterly reckless and stupid.

    The main choreographer-hyung sighed, slowly making his way over to the group, and that sound alone had made heat course up Donghae’s face, giving him the appearance of a dejected tomato.

    But, before the man could get to the members, the second choreographer, a small man whom Super Junior had started working with recently (and found to be quite the slave-driver) and who was only about a year older than Leeteuk and Heechul, stormed over, face contorted in the usual expression of annoyance and exasperation. But, to Donghae it only seemed to be more amplified, and he was already inwardly wincing when the man stopped directly in front of him.

    “Lee Donghae, yes?” the man demanded, eyes burning into Donghae’s own. Donghae gulped, desperately attempting to make his voice not come out as a whimper before he answered.

    “Yes, seongsang-nim?”

    “I’ll just cut it short, Donghae-ssi. I’ve been paying extra attention to you over the course of the week because it seems that during every practice session, without fail, you have been the main reason why we’ve gotten so behind in the routine.” That sentence seemed to hit Donghae like a fast, inevitable bullet, replaying over and over in his mind.

I...I’ve been the main reason why we’ve gotten so behind. It’s just me...I’m the main reason. I’m bringing us all down...I’m the main reason...what’s wrong with me?

    The instructor continued mercilessly, not seeming to notice or even ignoring Donghae’s steadily paling face or the looks of surprise and indignance on the other members’ faces. “You know that your next comeback is less than two months away, and everyone else has already gotten the gist of the dance number, but you.” He shook his head, frowning. Kangin made a noise of protest, but the man held up a hand, shooting him a warning look.

    Taking a step closer, he became almost nose-to-nose with Donghae, eyes almost scarily livid. Donghae flinched but held his ground. The tension in the air was so thick, one could cut it with a knife-if only someone did. The other members shifted uneasily on their feet, half wanting to pull their Donghae away from the man and give him a piece of their minds, but half knowing that such disrespect and insolence would only end badly.

The instructor muttered, his voice barely above a whisper, “Are you a new trainee now, rather than a veteran idol? You know how badly it will fall on your group if you botch this routine up after being on a hiatus for so long.”

Then suddenly, the choreographer was pulled gently away from him, giving Donghae space to let out a shaky breath he wasn’t previously aware that he had been holding.

The main instructor-hyung had a hand on the other’s shoulder, muttering, “I think he’s gotten the point.”

But before Donghae could even fully process what he was doing and what was happening around him, he took off, grabbing at the chance. Rapidly running to the doors, he faintly heard Heechul shouting, “Yah! Donghae!” He paid it no heed, and just ran as fast as his still recovering feet would take him, immensely relieved that he wasn’t in that painstakingly stifling room any longer.

Back in the practice room, every single person stood frozen in their places, most gaping at the door, where Donghae had fled through. Ryeowook leaned heavily onto Kyuhyun’s side, trembling from what had happened. Heechul and Kangin were glaring daggers into the eyes of the newer, and at that moment, bastard of an instructor who stared steadily back at them, unrightfully aggravated.

Right then, someone did speak up, voice echoing in the room. “Seongsang-nim!” All heads whipped around to where Eunhyuk stood. His entire face and body was rigid with tightly controlled anger and all the members knew that it was taking everything in his power not to completely lash out at the teacher.

Eunhyuk gave a curt, quick bow to the instructor, saying with clenched teeth, “I think you were a bit too harsh on him.” And with that, he also dashed out of the room, in search of one of his best friends.

No one had the heart to stop him.

Eunhyuk raced down one of the main corridors of the company building, ignoring the many bows and strange looks he received from different people. In his mind, at that moment, there was only Donghae, and no one would be able to convince him otherwise. Donghae, who had endured so much when their mere newbie of an instructor had chastised him so cruelly. Donghae, who took a lot of this to heart. Donghae, whom no one else knew no more than Eunhyuk did.

The Donghae that he didn’t stand up for sooner, like any friend would have. Eunhyuk muttered a swear aloud. Damn it, Lee Donghae, where are you? He raced up and down different hallways, sticking his head into every room, shouting his friend’s name in a sort of desperation.

And, finally, finally, he saw him. Almost running past an empty recording studio, he skidded to a stop when he saw through the window that the lights were off, but there was the faint shadow of a huddled figure on the ground.

Breathing heavily, Eunhyuk slowly opened the door of the room, slipping in and immediately turning on the lights. “Hae?” he called softly. No answer, but upon more careful hearing, a snight sniffling noise was coming from the Donghae-bundle.

Eunhyuk silently shuffled over to the vocalist’s crouched figure, who had the hood of his sweatshirt pulled snugly over his head, obscuring his face from view.

“Hae, talk to me,” Eunhyuk pleaded, tentatively placing a hand on the other’s shoulder. When Donghae still made no sign of cooperating, Eunhyuk hastily continued on, “C’mon, we’ve always complained about how that new instructor’s always being an . We haven’t even been practicing the routine for that long, so making mistakes at this point is perfectly alright. You know we’ve got plenty of time. And, we’re all leaning on each other, always. Don’t listen to him, Hae, you’ve been doing fine, trust-”

“No! Hyuk, stop it! Stop already,” Donghae’s head shot up, his small explosion of a reply taking Eunhyuk aback. The younger’s eyes were red and puffy, evidence of the fact that he had been crying. Honestly, Eunhyuk expected that, but what he didn’t expect was to see a crumpled up picture fisted in Donghae’s hand. Peering at it quickly, the main dancer recognized the smiling face of Donghae’s late father.

Eunhyuk’s eyes softened into pools of grief, as Donghae numbly staring up to his feet, doggedly pacing around the small room. He always takes out photos of his dad and talks to him when he’s troubled.

Face contorted in frustration, Donghae’s eyes met Eunhyuk’s. “This comeback means everything to us right now! We’ve haven’t done a new concept like as a group in almost two years, and look at what’s happening.” He let out a dry, bitter chuckle, alarmingly unlike him at all. “I’m ruining everything...again.”

Eunhyuk scrambled up as well, completely aghast. “You’re not messing up! You rarely do. Just because you haven’t been getting the dance lately doesn’t mean that you're a screw up.”

“Eunhyuk.” Donghae’s eyes filled with angry tears and he bit his lip to keep himself from sobbing. “Leeteuk-hyung is going to be back in a few weeks. Schedules are going to be even more hectic. You know that I got into a slump after our SJ-M promotions.” His voice cracked, and so did Eunhyuk’s heart. “I-I can’t afford to slow us down so much now."

"You are not-"

"Shut up!" Donghae shouted, startling the other.

Striding swiftly up to the young man that now had fresh tears mingling with the ones that had already dried previously on his cheeks, Eunhyuk wrapped his sturdy arms securely around his best friend.

“Shh, don’t cry,” he murmured soothingly, rubbing the latter’s back. Donghae continued to softly sob into Eunhyuk’s neck. Hyuk repressed a sigh. The comeback...it was making them all jittery, honestly. Yes, they’ve been busy the past two years, with solo/sub-unit activities, the SS5 concerts, meeting with international fans, releasing a Super Junior-M album, and more. But..it was here, back home that had kept them all up, worrying, dreading. With all the recent explosive reactions for many of the newer groups lately, Super Junior was one of the many veterans that had been slowly fading into the background; or, so it seemed.

“Yah, fishy,” he whispered in Donghae’s ear. “Remember that time we both decided to go camping on that site in Busan and it rained the whole time we were there? And, it was thundering so loudly and the wind was blowing so hard, I thought our tent was going to blow away?”

Donghae blinked up at him, face still somewhat blotchy. “Yeah?”

Eunhyuk chuckled, relishing in the old memories of their trainee days. “Well, we both knew how much I was scared of thunderstorms back then-” Donghae snorted, muttering, “You still are now,”- “anyway, it was my idea to drag you out camping in the first place and even though I thought you’d cuss me out for all of this, you just held me tight the whole time, singing softly into my ear to distract me from the thunder.”

Donghae grunted, ears slightly pink. “What’s your point?”

Rolling his eyes, Eunhyuk explained, “Look, I’m trying to say, that you were there for me when I had a rough time. Honestly, you were there a billion times after that. All of you guys.” He glanced down tenderly at the younger. “So, bro, you gotta realize that we’ll be there for you too. Don’t sweat it, we Suju members all have each other’s back. If we have to practice later after hours on that routine, then, we will. I’ll stay and make sure you’ve got it completely down, don’t worry.”

He pressed a soft kiss to Donghae’s hair. “Please...just don’t break down like this.”

Donghae bit his lip once more, before looking up at his long-time friend, a beautiful, grateful smile spreading across his face. “Hyuk, when did you become the mature one?”

“Ever since it was established in the group that you’re the next biggest cryer, second to Ryeowook. And then, I also know what it's like to have crybaby best friends...you and Junsu are so fragile..."

Donghae sighed, and squared his shoulders. Glancing at his watch, he said, “The instructors must have gone back by now...knowing the rest of the guys, they’re probably still waiting for us in the practice room.”

Hyukjae wordlessly nodded, both of them heading for the door and back down the couple of hallways that led to their main dance room.

Just right in front of the door, Donghae’s hand paused from turning the knob. Eyes reflecting hints of hesitation and nervousness, he turned, with a slight air of desperation, towards his best friend. “Hyuk…”

Eunhyuk warmly presented his familiar gummy smile. Reaching down, he squeezed the other’s hand. “I’ve got you, Hae.” He twisted open the doorknob, already seeing Ryeowook and Sungmin charging towards them.

I’ve got you...always.