“You knew?”

Siwon asked with a very surprised look that made Kyuhyun nervously shift in his place, yet he calmly looked at him, not planning on missing this chance to redeem himself.

“Of course I knew. I’m not that blind”

Siwon was trying hard to control his emotions and not break down since the cool way Kyuhyun was acting in, like he had done nothing wrong, was seriously irritating.

“And why didn’t you do anything about it?”

Why didn’t I do anything about it? Kyuhyun asked himself, taking a second to re-live the past year in a flash before he muttered “Because… I wasn’t sure about my feelings”

Siwon took a few steps away from him, one hand over his hip while he rubbed his face with the other one.

“So you knew and still acted oblivious to it?”

The hoarseness and the hurt in Siwon’s tone made Kyuhyun feel extremely guilty and unable to utter a single word. His head was bent down but he could still steal glances at the older who was obviously trying to control his outburst.

Kyuhyun knew he was being selfish and undeserving of Siwon’s forgiveness right now, but he didn’t want to live with what ifs. He was determined to get a closure even if by the looks of it, it didn’t sound all that good.

“And why now?” It started calm, with Siwon not looking at him which gave him courage to look up and ready to start giving his explanation. However, Siwon wasn’t done yet “Huh? Why NOW!”

Kyuhyun flinched, never had Siwon ever raised his voice at him or spoke to him that way. The look he was giving him was scary and Kyuhyun’s heart did a hurtful leap. However, he knew he had to endure it because he had done a lot of thinking before coming here and he wasn’t about to back out easily.

“I couldn’t find you”

“You’re KILLING me! It’s been years and now you come to me?”

Siwon was losing his patience. He had lots of questions in his mind yet he was too upset to figure out where to start from.

“I didn’t realize it sooner. I’m sorry”

Kyuhyun whispered, eyes shining with tears but he didn’t want to let them escape. He needed to be strong.

“Sorry? SORRY? What will sorry do to me now? Huh? Dammit, Kyu!”

Kyuhyun panicked, suddenly feeling his hope disappear as he saw the rage in Siwon’s black orbs that were always filled with only love and adoration. He had never imagined seeing the caring Siwon in this state and it kind of scared him.

“I regret it so much and I don’t want to feel like that again”

“WHY NOW! Gosh, Kyuhyun! What are you doing!”

Harshly running his fingers through his hair, Siwon turned to face the window once again, his heart frantically beating in his chest and his breathing accelerating as the emotions overwhelmed him. He didn’t know what to do or what Kyuhyun expected him to do. It had been a year since he last saw the younger and he was doing fine so far. Well, at least he made himself believe that he was, which was better than the first couple of months after he left for the US, when every little thing reminded him of Kyuhyun and made his living hell.

Kyuhyun just watched from the side, hesitating if he should approach Siwon or not. However, as he finally found courage and took a few steps toward the man, hand reaching to caress his shoulder, the latter harshly pushed it away.

“Don’t touch me!”

The blocked tears finally escaped as Kyuhyun’s heart started breaking into tiny pieces. That was not how he imagined their conversation to go. He had pictured the worst case scenario yet it still did not even come close to what was happening then.

“And don’t cry! You don’t get to cry!”

“I’m sorry”

Kyuhyun apologized between his sobs, eyes blurred with tears, a view Siwon had never been able to witness and thus he tried to control his voice a bit as he gritted his teeth and asked.

“You do realize that I’m getting married in a few minutes, right?”

Kyuhyun nodded, guiltily biting on his lip which made Siwon fire up again.

“! What do you expect me to do now, huh?”

“I really love you, Wonnie-ah”

Kyuhyun whispered, head bending down again as he fixed his eyes on his shoes not able to handle looking at Siwon’s hurtful expression any longer. It wasn't like he meant for this to happen. He was just too late in realizing that Siwon had meant a lot to him that when he decided to face his feelings, he was shocked to find out that the man had unexpectedly travelled abroad.

When he heard Siwon was back, he was over the moon and determined to make things right. To his dismay, Siwon was getting married.

“WHAT’S THE POINT OF SAYING IT NOW?!”

Crying harder, Kyuhyun clenched on his sweaty hands hard as he looked up and determinedly started explaining.

“You were my friend and I didn’t want to lose you so I didn’t realize that I was already in love with you… that I am in love with you”

“I’m getting married!”

Siwon desperately exclaimed, and Kyuhyun didn’t think he could handle any more heartbreak.

“I understand. Have a nice life”

Turning away to leave, his wrist was harshly grabbed as he was pushed to the nearest wall and Siwon hovered over him with his hands on each side of his head blocking him.

“That’s it? Have a nice life? Is it that easy to give up on me? Again?”

Kyuhyun was really confused. He came all the way to see the man and confess his love to him but he was rejected, so why was Siwon asking him such a question?

“What am I supposed to do? I said I’m sorry, I said I love you… but do you still love me?”

Arms limply falling to his sides, Siwon turned his gaze away, facing the other side of the room, causing Kyuhyun to bite tightly on his lips to block his next wave of sobs.

“I don’t think I wanna know” He managed to mutter.

“Goodbye, Siwon” tiptoeing a bit to land a kiss on the man’s cheek, he whispered in his ear “I’ll always love you” then walking out of the room in a fast pace, not having the courage to look back.

.
.
.

“If anyone here can show just cause as to why these two may not be joined together, let him speak now, or forever hold his peace”

The priest asked as the ceremony started and the bride and groom were lining up at the altar waiting to be bonded in holly marriage.

Everyone in the church was silent as they blissfully watched the excited bride and the supposed to be happy groom whose been doing so good in hiding his emotions. However, his best man wasn’t about to let him ruin his life without being one hundred per cent sure of his choice.

“I object”

Gasps were heard all over the place and Siwon’s eyes widened as he turned to questionably eye his best friend.

“Hyuk? What are you doing?”

He whispered, ignoring the tugs from the woman standing in front of him clearly trying to understand what was happening.

“Giving you a last chance” He simply said before turning to the crowd and locking his eyes on the boy with the fluffy brown hair that was sitting in the last row.

“Kyuhyun-ah, this is your chance”

Feeling all eyes on him all of a sudden, Kyuhyun nervously shifted in his seat before letting his gaze travel to the front and lock with the man he loves, the man he was about to lose.

He really didn’t expect this to happen and so he wasn’t prepared for such move. Nonetheless, his feet involuntary started moving, letting him walk down the aisle until he was standing in front of the couple, taking a glance at Siwon before kneeling down.

“K-Kyu-“

“Please don’t take him away from me… Please I love him so much”

Siwon was surprised, eyes bulging out and heart breaking at the scene unfolding in front of him.

“Kyuhyun”

Frantically shaking his head, Kyuhyun was determined to plead for his love.

“It’s entirely my fault. I was so stupid. I’m so sorry Wonnie but I don’t wanna give up on you… Please Aghassi, please give him back to me. I’ve looked for him for so long! Please… Please”

Siwon's heart clenched in pain that he just had to glance away, holding back the lump that was forming in his throat.

Only sobs were heard in the big church, as everyone’s eyes were roaming between the boy kneeling on the floor and the groom who had his face turned away to which only made Kyuhyun cry harder.

“Stand up. Kyuhyun-ssi”

He was too lost in expecting a reaction from Siwon that he didn't notice the bride was standing before him. Kyuhyun was hoping she would take sympathy on him, yet he was totally wrong.

“You had your chance and you missed it. I said yes, you didn’t. I love him too. I’m sorry, I can’t give him back”

.
.
.

“I’m so stupid! Why did I have to listen to you! I should’ve told him sooner! I shouldn’t have let him walk out of my life! Now he’s gone!”

Sitting alone on a bench, Kyuhyun continued to cry nonstop while punching his chest aiming for his heart which was so stubborn in the past to let Siwon’s love inside.

“Wonnie~ Siwon-ah~… Aaah it hurts! It hurts so bad!”

Loudly weeping and sobbing while continuously hitting his chest, Kyuhyun didn’t notice the figure that was approaching him until he was kneeling before him and holding his hand to stop it from doing more damage to his chest.

“Hey, hey”

Startled, Kyuhyun’s tears froze as he blinked a couple of times to make sure he wasn’t hallucinating.

“Won?”

“Stop crying, please”

Sensing the pity in the man’s tone, Kyuhyun quickly withdrew his hand and looked away.

“What is it? Did she forget to tell me something?”

“Yes”

Clutching hard on the side of the bench, Kyuhyun closed his eyes and prepared himself for another heartbreak.

“She forgot to tell you that my heart was never hers in the first place. That my heart was never mine actually. She forgot to tell you how much I have missed you and how much I could’ve never erase you from my head or my heart”

Snapping his head to face Siwon, Kyuhyun’s eyebrows reached his hairline as he puzzlingly tried to process the man’s words.

“What are you saying, Won?”

Raising his hand and showing it to Kyuhyun, the latter was confused at first but then it dawned on him.

No ring.

“Y-You didn’t get married?”

“Idiot. How can I get married to her when you made quite a show”

“But you didn’t even look at me”

Tenderly placing his palm on Kyuhyun’s cheek, Siwon sweetly smiled for the first time that day which made Kyuhyun’s heart flutter.

“Because I was afraid I’ll cry. I could never see you hurt, Kyu”

Abruptly lunching his arms around Siwon’s neck, Kyuhyun hugged him tightly as he kept whispering “Wonnie~ I’m so sorry… I’m so sorry”

“Hush now, it’s my fault. Maybe if I actually confessed to you and maybe kissed you, we wouldn’t have suffered like this”

Pulling away, Kyuhyun violently shook his head as he gently cupped the older’s face.

“Nothing is your fault, hyung. I messed up and when I realized my mistake, you were already gone”

“Did you look for me for so long?”

“Ever since you left. I asked around and they told me you moved away. I was going crazy for the past year until I got the news that you were back”

“On my wedding day. Talk about perfect moment”

Siwon chuckled and Kyuhyun guiltily looked at him.

“I’m sorry I ruined it”

“I’m not”

Pinching the bridge of the younger’s nose at the endearing blush, Siwon demanded “Tell me”

Ducking his flushing face down for a second before looking up again, Kyuhyun confidently expressed “I love you so much, Wonnie-ah”

“I love you too, baby”

“You really do?”

“Yes. I never stopped”

“Thank you”

.
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“Now how about that kiss?”