There he was laying in the bed across mine, breathing heavily and as pale as I've never seen a living person before.  We've been in the same room for only 3 weeks now, but it feels like we've bonded ages ago. It's pathetic really.. to fall in love someone while I've only got a month to live, if I'm lucky even two months. I've always been the sick child, ever since bird I regulary visited hospitals. At the age of two they predicted I wouldn't become older than 10, but here I am; 20 years old... but not so healthy. That's what they always say right: here I am, young and healthy, well, not in my case.

I feel the left side of my bed slightly sink and arms wrap around me. For the past 2 weeks it's always been like this, him coming over to my bed to sleep as he feel 'lonely' in his. I smile to myself slightly, it's funny how much I hated the boy when I got to hears I was going to have someone in the room I've been living in for the past 2 months. However, when I woke up and saw the tiny innoncent looking boy playing video games on his nintendo I couldn't find a hair on my body thinking I could ever stay angry at him. 

Honestly he looks like a 15 years old schoolboy, probably because he isn't that tall and has incredible cute chubby cheeks. Imagine my surprise when I found out he's actually a year older than I am. I got a surgery 2 days after I got here and when I woke up he was sitting at the age of my bed, when I asked him what he was doing he simply answered "I didn't want you to be alone when you wake up" some people might find it cheesy, but I thought it was the cutest thing ever. Ever since that night we've became nearly inseparable. It sounds really pathetic, becoming this attached to someone after only knowing him for 3 weeks.
Sometimes it makes me wonder what goes through his head. He knows I only got a maximum of 2 months to live, he just shrugged it off saying "we're all going to die somehow". That's one of the things I like about him, he doesn't lie, he doesn't tell me everything will be alright. He's realistic. 

I'm not afraid of dying, but I would be lying if I said I'm not afraid of death. I'm scared of what'll happen to me, will everything be black? Will I just stop existing? Or got to heaven? No, I don't believe in heaven, but it sure is a tempting thought. If I think about not existing anymore I feel sick to my stomach, I'm afraid what'll happen to my parents. Will they be sad for long? I feel numb when I think about the past I would want to have. Going to college, going out with friends, dancing.. I've always wanted to be a dancer, but I couldn't even walk for longer than 30 minutes. 

"Stop daydreaming Joo"  his voice dripping with sleep. I nuzzle my face into his chest and close my eyes, sighing softly "I don't deserve any of this". I feel his hand rubbing my back soothingly . I look up at him, the scar on his forehead clearly visible now. He holds me tighter against his body as I shiver at his words. That's when I knew I made the most unfair mistake in my life, falling in love with Kim Hansol.