As much as I dislike the fact that Jongup hyung hurt Himchan hyung, I cannot stand to see him like this. He's drowning on his pain, grieving all day long.

Since the day Himchan hyung met us, Jongup hyung stop appear at the office. It's been a month now.

I feel like living with a baby that only know how to cry, drink and sleep. But of course Jongup hyung doesn't drink milk. He drinks alcohol instead.

He curled up on his bed. Well, actually it's mine. He insisted that we should switch the room since he can't stand sleeping on his own bed, which he used to share with Himchan hyung.

I walk into the room carrying a bowl of water and small towel.

"Hyung" I poke his cheek gently, trying to wake him up. Just like everyday, he didn't bug. Next step then. I make the towel wet and gently wipes his forehead. His eyes slowly opens.

"Ugh" that's all he managed to say. Hangover from the drink he had last night. No matter how many times I try to empty the drawer, fridge, cupboard or anywhere in this house, when I went home I always managed to find at least two cans of beer. Maybe he walked out and bought it when I was working. It happens everyday.

"Hyung please stop" I scold him when he squirms under my touch, trying to hide his face.

"Hyung, you can't drink again today. I won't go to work since you broke your promise. You said you won't drink yesterday but what I found last night? Beer, Wine, Vodka, all five empty bottles. I wonder where did you get them, hyung?"

"Home"

My eyebrows lift up hearing his answer.

"So you went home to take them?"

"No. I told my butler to bring them here" and a groans follow his answer.

"Tsk. Bad hyung. Now get up and go shower" I pulled him and he let me dragged him to the bathroom.

While he's showering, I clean the room and made a note to myself to call his butler and never let him bring anything with alcohol here.

Throwing all the empty bottles to the trash can then I start to cook. I'm not a good cook, but since I live with him I tried to cook simple dish everyday, to make sure that he will eat. It's not bad, at least my cook is edible hehehe.

"Chicken soup?" A fresh Moon Jongup appear.

"Yes, come on let's eat" I said as I prepare the table.

We eat in silence.

"Have you take your medicines hyung?"

He only nods

"We ran out of food supplies, how about we going out for grocery shopping today?"

"Just go to work, Junhong-ah. I'm fine"

"No, you're not fine, hyung"

"Yes I am. I'm full. Thanks for the meal" and he left the table. I can't take it anymore.

"Yah Moon Jongup! Always running away! Grow up will you!" I yelled at him making him stop.

I walk to him and dragged him to the couch, pushed him so he sit down and I'm standing in front of him.

"Listen hyung. You know very well that it's not right. You have to move on! You can't spent the rest of your life like this!" I said frustated.

"Easy for you to say, Choi Junhong! You never feel it! You have no idea how bad it feels!" He yelled back at me.

"You're right! I don't know! But if I were you at least I will show him that I can move on! I will show him that once I was a jerk but now I'm a better man! I will show him that I can change"

"Right. What's the use of that? He will never come back to me"

"Your'e asking me what the use of that? Hyung it's for your own future! You're the owner of Moon company and you have the responsibility to keep on moving! You can't let your heart crash you down! I know it hurts but it's not the end of the world!"

He didn't talk back. He grabs his keys and walk out the door.

"Run away hyung! Run as far as you can! Never stop running! You will never know how to solve your own problem! You're so pathetic, hyung!"

I yelled at the door, not sure if he can hear me or not.

I can't understand him. Why he never understand. But I can't understand myself even more. Why am I still here? Why do I have to care about that stupid hyung that can't even take care of himself.

One thing I that I know, I can't leave Moon Jongup alone.

*****************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************

"You're pathetic, hyung!"

His last words ring in my head. I'm pathetic. A boy that's younger than me said that I'm pathetic.

I walk to my car and get in, start the engine but I'm not driving. I just stay there for a while.

Maybe Junhong is right. Maybe I'm pathetic. I never can imagine my world without Kim Himchan. But  actually I did. I lived without him for the last 3 years and I'm alive.

Maybe Junhong is right. Maybe it's time for me to move on.

But how? I'm just a jerk - and a pathetic man - that might hurt someone else again.

I decided to drive somewhere, away from this place for now.

I've been driving for too long, I'm going to have some drink at the bar. That will be fine, right?

I think either angel hates me or devil loves me, when I walk into the bar, I bumped into someone. When I looke up to apologize, the beauty of heaven greet me.

"I'm sorry" he said

I went blank. Maybe I drink too much last night. I didn't take my medicines too, so maybe this is the left over.

"Jongup?"

Hell he even know my name. This dream is too much.

"Jonguppie are you alright?"

That nick name snapped me out of my dream. It's real. Kim Himchan standing in front of me for real.

"Mr Moon?" another voice greets me. I know this deep voice and I grew to dislike this certain voice since one month ago.

"Oh...yes...I'm good. Hello Channie, Mr Bang" I gritted my teeth, trying to greet them without showing my.... anger? No, it's more like jealousy.

"Are you alone? Where's Junhongie?"

"At home. Excuse me, Channie. I gotta go now"

"Oh okay. Take care" I saw him waving at me but I ignore him and turn around and walk away, leaving that place.

Damn! Of all the place and of all the people on earth, why should I met them there?

Suddenly I don't want to drink anymore so I drive back home.

I held my breath before open the door. I have to face Junhong's anger and trust me, it never feels good.

Junhong is like an angel, a sweet angel that always cheer you up, always smiling.

But when he get mad, you might want to run away for a week until he calm down before facing him again.

But here I am, trying my best to do what I have to do. Well like he said, I have to grow up.

I open the door and greeted by silence. No sign of Junhong.

I search around but he's no where to be found. Only one room left. His room, the one that I occupied these days.

I sit on the couch, debating myself wether I should knock his door or not.

Before I can decided, the door opens.

"Hyung you're home!" He said with a relieved face.

I thought he will get mad at me. I only nod.

"I'm glad you're home. You haven't take your medicines and you're driving! I'm afraid something bad happen to you when you didn't answer my call!"

He....cried.

Oh my god. He's crying.

He cried because he worried about me.

Then I feel like being struck by the thunder.

This little Junhongie cares about me, when the world is all against me. When Himchan stop loving me. When my wife left me. Choi Junhong stays.

I run to him and hug him.

"I'm sorry Junhong-ah. I'm sorry. I'm fine. I'm sorry to make you worried"

I caress his back as he let out his cry. Oh dear, what have I done?

When he calm down, I guide him to his bed.

"Junhong-ah. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you worry. I just... upset and confuse. I'm sorry"

I pulled him into my arms again, hug him tight.

"You're right, Junhong-ah. I have to move on. I've been acted like a fool. I shouldn't do that. I'm sorry. I promise I will change"

He push me gently and wipe his tears.

"Really?"

"Yes, I will change. I'll stop drink, I'll go back to work, I'll try to let it go" I caress his hair. How can I be so stupid after all this time. Junhong always here for me while I run away from reality.

"As long as you stay with me, I'll do anything it takes, Junhong-ah. I'm sorry for giving you hard times"

He smiles a bit.

"I won't go anywhere, hyung"

"Thank you Junhong-ah"

Today I made a promise to myself, that I will move on.

I thank heaven for sending me Junhong. I promise myself I will make him proud of me, and I will give my best to make him happy.