Ola mi amigas. First of all I would like to say sorry because this is not an update. Again, THIS IS NOT AN UPDATE. You could say that this is more of my rants and opinions or whatever. Tbh bakit ba ako nag-eenglish. Basta andito yung mga saloobin ko kasi I’m entitled to my own opinions naman. I’m not trying to persuade you to agree nor am I trying to make you choose a side. No. That’s not my purpose. I simply want to write out what I feel. WARNING: Medyo madrama na ewan. Mukhang burat lang pero wag niyo na basahin kung ayaw niyo. I won’t push u. Push up bra. If you don’t feel like hearing my side it’s fine just close the tab. So here I go…

I was stunned. The moment I saw dispatch’s photos I could not believe my eyes. Naisip ko na baka look alikes lang ni B and ni T yon but then I saw more pictures to prove that it was really them. Honestly, I didn’t pay too much attention but then all I see in my tline are about them. Every social networking site I log on to I would see their issue. There was no escape. Pero meron naman kung nilayuan ko ang internet pero di ko kaya kasi isa akong burat. I was mad at B. Oo, nagalit ako sa kanya, actually, sa kanilang dalawa. Matapos niyang sabihin na “You are all mine” eh iiwan niya tayo sa ere. Aba ang sakit naman ata sa part natin. Pero hindi ba mas masakit yun sa part ng members niya kasi he broke the promise he made with them. He said he "couldn't stand to watch it if EXO were to fall apart because of something like that." Pero siya mismo gumawa ng ika sisira nila. And then I realized I wasn’t truly mad at B. Kasi hindi ko kaya magalit sa kanya. Bakit ako magagalit sa taong hindi ko naman alam ang tunay na pagkatao. Galit ako sa image na ginawa sa kanya ng SM, yung sikat na siya. Galit ako sa mga ginawa niya. Pero di ako galit sa tunay na siya. Gets niyo ba. Sana oo kahit ang gulo gulo ko. Kasi ikot ikot lang ikot ikot lang ikot ikot. IF SM did plan this to cover up Kris’ issue then man I would give the company a standing ovation for ruining their own idols’ reputations.

Natawa naman ako dun sa pag aassume ng mga tao na may tension between Sehun and Baekhyun. Bakit bffs ba kayo kay Sehun o Baekhyun para malaman ang totoo? Kayo ba ang Darla nila? Ulol!! Ulol!! Ulol!! Sobrang gusto niyo ba i-spice up ang mga pangyayari kaya nangdadamay kayo ng kung sinu sino? Ipasok ko ulet kayo sa sinapupunan ng mga nanay niyo eh. Gustuhin ko man na ipagtanggol si B. Something is holding me back. How could I stand for someone who broke my trust. Sobrang daming rumors ever since the world began. But it wouldn’t have spread if no one is gullible enough to believe them. Yun ang mahirap sa atin eh. Nagpapadala tayo sa bugso ng damdamin. Naniniwala agad sa kung anong mabasa without even knowing if the source is reliable or not. Hala babagsak kayo sa Eng2 niyan. Anyways, I won’t tell lie and tell you “It’s okay.” kasi let’s be real, nothing is okay. Everything is falling apart. Parang puzzle na accidentally mong nabunggo. The pieces scattered everywhere. A simple “sorry” wouldn’t bring the puzzle pieces back to its place. An apology won’t fix a broken heart, or so I believe.

So ayun, because of everything I won’t be updating any time soon. MAYBE I will post the rest of the ‘Tuesday class’ because it’s Kai’s turn to shine but it’s just a MAYBE. It’s definitely hard to write when you’re sad. And I don’t know if I should continue B’s character. What do you think? Hindi ko na kasing magawang gawan siya ng jokes and sorts. Even a photo of him would pain me pero ok naman I can manage. I won’t be saying that I’ve already moved on. But time will come. Sometimes, not having closure IS THE CLOSURE. Kahit naman anong gawin natin nandyan na yan eh. Nasa atin nalang kung tatanggapin natin o patuloy nating  dadramahan. But tbh, wag niyo na dramahan. Oo, madaling sabihin pero mahirap gawin ngunit ano ba mapapala mo kapag nagmukmok ka. Yung luha na binubuhos mo para sa kanya, it’s not worth it. Papangit ka lang. Mamamaga lang mata mo. Pero kung yun yung feel mo gawin di kita pipigilan basta wag lang suicide juice colored labag yan sa sampung utos ng maykapal. Baka di ka makaenter ng heaven. Wala kang happy ending. Ayan nailabas ko na lahat sa wakas! Ang sarap sa pakiramdam. Parang sa pagtae lang. I feel so free it’s like a fantasy~

*If kailangan niyo ng kausap bukas ang siza counseling mula 10am hanggang 10pm. Ihahanap ko pa kayo ng potential boylets kung gusto niyo. HAHAHAHA. ULOL!! Ulol!! Ulol!!!!! Isa pa ulet para sure, ULOL!!!! LABYU ALL MWA*