He didn’t hear from Gyuri recently, after what she left to her fans on twitter. No wonder though, looking at her situation now—she must feel depressed, he knew—but he’s still worried. He still wanted to know.

Yoon Doojoon still wanted to check how Park Gyuri was doing.

Seungyeon told him that she got to go meeting with the boards of agency—all of the three—but because she’s the leader, somewhat Gyuri had to attend more. Beside monitoring how the possibly new members development.

Her manager let him know that she’s lack of everything lately; sleep, rest, food, and energy. She must be worn out about physically and emotionally.

Hara didn’t talk much except a concern statement regarding her leader along with sad smile. “We’re somehow growing apart, oppa. You should meet her in person and break her wall.”

And everybody knew how stubborn she was and keeping what’s hurting her inside herself only. They said she didn’t want to add a burden to her members when they already had their own.

Doojoon tapped the security code in front of her apartment because he knew she wouldn’t bother to open the door if he behaved like an appropriate guest, such as pressing the bell.

Her apartment was dark. Doojoon was sure he didn’t sleepwalk when he drove here, so it must be still 10 AM. It was a bright sunny day outside. When he opened the curtain, her living room was neat—too neat, looked like no one’s living there. He stepped on the bedroom and his heart sank seeing his beloved laying on her bed, tired and frustrated.

Gyuri’s eyes fluttered open when Doojoon softly touched her cheek. It’s so skinny, how much meal did she skip actually?

“You come.” There was tears she held in her eyes. “Are you free?” Her voice cracked.

“What if I’m not?” Doojoon answered lovingly, sitting beside her as his hands already catching hers and squeezed them warmly.

“Please don’t make me become your distraction.” Gyuri said weakly, like her life depend on her voice. “I’m fine.”

Doojoon shook his head instantly. “No you’re not.” He closed their gap as giving her a soft long kiss on her lips.

“You’re burning.” Her temperature was like an electrifying heat touching his lips. “Didn’t your manager know?”

Gyuri rose from her laying state. “I’m alright.” She stubbornly remarked.

“You didn’t tell Seungyeon and Hara too, right?”

There’s a long pause before Gyuri spoke up. “It’s okay, they are tired too, I can’t give them another problem.”

Doojoon stared at his girlfriend intensely.

“You are hurt.” He groaned matter-of-factly, full of concern.

Gyuri stared back at her boyfriend, shaking her head in disagreement before her tears slowly rolling down onto her cheeks.

“Am I a bad leader?” She burst out. “I am, right?”

It was a heartbreaking scene for Doojoon to watch the goddess who usually full of confidence broke into the most vulnerable state of hers.

He immediately enveloped her on a warm hug, trying to comfort her, to help her—to assure her that he’d always be there for her.

“You should ask Yeosob and I’m sure his answer would be ‘Doojoonie is way worse than you, Gyuri-ah’.” Doojoon tried to lift up the mood while whispering. But it seemed like Gyuri didn’t catch the humor. She just continued sobbing, even harder.

“I don’t know,” She tried explaining while her body shook badly. “I don’t like seeing Kamilia getting hurt again, but it seems like everything I chose would end up hurting them even more.”

And you hurt the most. Doojoon hugged her tighter, definitely hated seeing her in this kind of state.

There are few minutes Gyuri just cried on Doojoon’s chest before she could control herself and continue again.

“And I can’t stop Nicole and Jiyoung to pursue their happiness.” Gyuri’s voice became huskier and she’s like choking out of breath. “That was what they picked for their future and I can’t block their path, like I just feel so happy and lively on stage and they understand not to push me to be away from my dream. But it’s like,”

Her sob continued and prevented her to say more.

“Ssh,” Doojoon kissed her head. “Everything will be alright.” He assured. “And no one can make everyone happy, Gyul. Everything has its own risk and consequence, it just depends on us how we overcome that. Beside life is not just about happiness, darling.”

Doojoon broke the hug while his hands still securely placed around her shoulders and stared at her, assuring.

“I—“

Doojoon didn’t let her continue, instead he shut her lips with his own, his thumb softly caressed her cheek, sweeping away her tears.

“And if you can pass this one, then I know you’ll be better and stronger for whatever awaits you ahead.”

“I love them,” Gyuri squeaked, her breath was back to normal even tears still kept strolling down. “I love KARA, my members, my fans.” She whispered, sounded painful.

“I know.” Doojoon replied in the same whisper sound, his head rested on hers.

Gyuri’s breath hitched. “And I love you.”

“You’re gonna eat proper meal for now and take medicine if you do.” He smiled sweetly before giving her lips another peck and stood up.

“I’ll make you porridge.” He announced.

“Can’t you just stay here?” Gyuri plead, making him almost granted what she wished, but no! Her body needed to get some decent food.

“I like how you beg to me, but you have fever, my goddess.”

She pouted, and in Doojoon’s perfect life seeing her pouted or acted like a little kid were considered as a rare view. Park Gyuri was actually acting cute!

“What?” He questioned her.

“I heard from Dongwoonie that your porridge did otherwise rather than get him recovered?” Gyuri smiled, her first smile so far, but Doojoon was so glad seeing a positive signal from her.

“That brat!” Doojoon grumbled. “I’ll make delivery then.” He gave up and came to her, decided to grant her wish.

“You must eat them all, you know.” Doojoon warned her after calling the store. “And please rely on me whenever you’re down.” He added lovingly while lying beside her.

Gyuri looked at him in such a long time, before her warm smile spread out on her lips.

“Thank you, Doojoonie.” She whispered.