I am sorry for the long wait, I've been really busy with my projects and what nots. But here is the one shot, it's not really angst, it's something in between of angst and simple character analysis. 

           The soft exhales of air could be heard even in the room next to the bedroom. Mark was sure that if he would go to the kitchen he would still be able to track down the light sounds that came from the male that was lying on the bed.

            Mark closed his eyes and focused on his surroundings. He could hear the old clock in the hallway ticking and he counted every second until he reached sixty. Then he started from one. He didn’t know how long he went on like that, but he was sure that it was more than ten minutes.

            Every few moments a water drop would make its way down the tap into the sink in the kitchen. Mark should fix it one day, it has been getting on his nerves lately.

            The redhead sat down on the ground and ran his fingers over the cardboard box that was situated next to his bed. It was covered in dust and Mark was sure that he hadn’t opened it for at least two or three years. Actually, the last time he had opened it was before moving to this apartment.

            With trembling fingers Mark gently opened up the box and peered inside of it. The box was stuffed with various items. The redhead wasn’t even sure what he could find in there. All the memories that were stored in the dusty box were a bit hazy and Mark could debate if he would be able to remember all of them.

             With shaky hands the redhead took out the first item that he would grasp. It was an old photo album. Mark was sure that he had seen it somewhere, the leather cover of the album was worn out, but it gave a warm feeling to the male.

            He automatically opened up the photo book and scanned over the pictures. The people in the photos were familiar.  Some more than others. Mark could easily identify his mother and his father. Some of the pictures were of their wedding. Some were of the days when Mark’s mother was pregnant with him. There were photos of his birthdays. He could recognize his grandparents and some of his cousins and childhood friends.

            The second album was new. The cover wasn’t worn out. It was sunny yellow with white ornaments scattered all around it. The photos were also new. There were no photos of Mark with his parents in this one. Not one picture held Mark and his relatives in it. Of course, how could it, the redhead moved to South Korea when he was eighteen, to study in a Korean university.

            The pictures held people that Mark had met during his three university years. Some of the people he still kept contact with, and some of them were already gone from his life.

            Mark ran his fingertips over one of the pictures. He was barely nineteen in the photo. The boy next to him was also the same age. The two of them looked happy. The smaller, at that time blonde, boy’s hands were around the redhead’s, at that time with black hair, shoulders and he was hanging of on Mark’s back.

            The redhead smiled bitterly at the photograph. He sometimes wondered why everything changed. Mark wasn’t naïve, he knew that neither he nor Byunghun would forever be the same, but sometimes the way they changed scared him.

            When they first met the slightly shorter male was so cheerful and he was the one to chat Mark up. At first the male was a bit vary of Byunghun because really, who walks up to people they don’t know and simply starts talking to them? Apparently, that was exactly what Byunghun would always do when a person intrigued him.

            Byunghun had once said that Mark’s eyes drew him in when he first laid his eyes on the slightly taller male. He said that it was the way they held so much but managed to not give everything out to the world. Byunghun wanted to figure the other male out and that was exactly what he did.

            During their university years they had grown close, almost inseparable.  

            During his second year in University, Mark had figured out that Byunghun wasn’t just a friend to him. No, Byunghun was so much more than that. The redhead always blushed whenever the slightly shorter male would compliment him. His heartbeat would always pick up whenever Byunghun touched his flesh.

            The two males had shared intimate moments during their University years. Right now the two of them were finishing off their third year, but Mark already considered them to be experienced when it came to student life. The redhead remembered the touches and kisses the two of them shared behind the closed doors. He remembered the way his mind went blank whenever Byunghun would kiss the skin where his shoulder and neck connected.

            Mark’s first time being intimate with another person was with Byunghun. It happened during their second university year, after one of the parties that Jaebum had thrown. The redhead couldn’t remembered how it happened, it just somehow did. One moment Mark was awkwardly dancing with BamBam, one of the younger students, next moment, Byunghun was dragging him off to dance with him, and in the end the two of them had ended up in Mark's apartment, wrapped up in each other’s limbs, writhing in pleasure.

            The redhead didn’t regret that decision. Yes, he was drunk during that moment, but even if he was sober, he surely would have gone through it. Losing his innocence, whatever innocence he had, to Byunghun was everything and more that Mark wanted. The moment was magical and the redhead felt like the happiest person alive.

            What he regretted was the morning after and the way he dealt with the whole situation.

            Byunghun wasn’t there when Mark woke up. There was no note left. No evidence that the slightly shorter male had actually spent the night with the redhead. Mark wasn’t one to expect that everything will change after the two of them had slept with each other, but he hoped that at least something would be different from then on.

            But when Mark saw Byunghun flirting with one of the female students from his course the redhead had to fight back the tears. He wasn’t naïve, he didn’t expect Byunghun to confess his undying love to him, but he also didn’t expect for the slightly shorter male to simply brush off whatever had happened during that night.

            Mark had gradually ignored the other male for a few weeks. It was hard, but the redhead couldn’t talk whenever he saw Byunghun with another person, smiling at them, touching their hand. So Mark did what he could to protect his heart. He erased himself from Byunghun’s life for a few weeks in order to at least make peace with himself and to get over the slight pain.

            A year and a few months had passed since then, the two of them were once again inseparable, but Mark still felt slight pain whenever he saw Byunghun getting a bit too close with another person.

            The redhead closed up the photo album and took out the next item from the box. It was a seemingly old, dark brown, almost black teddy bear. Mark sometimes had problems sleeping during thunderstorms and when Byunghun had stumbled upon a trembling redhead he had stayed the whole night with his arms wrapped around the slightly taller male.

            Byunghun gave the redhead his old teddy bear, so that Mark could feel safe and think about the slightly shorter male whenever there were thunderstorms and Byunghun couldn’t make it to the redhead’s apartment.

            There were a lot of things in the box, most of them looked like something Mark would have thrown out years ago, but he simply couldn’t. And the main reason for that was that they reminded him of the male that was sleeping on his bed right now.

            The redhead looked up at the digital clock that was on his bedside table and the angry red letters screamed three in the morning. Mark stood up as silently as possible and walked to the balcony that was connected to his bedroom.

            The balcony had a few pillows in the corner so that Mark could sit down on the floor and it wouldn’t be too cold. The redhead did exactly that. He closed his eyes for a moment and listened to the sounds of sleeping Seoul. There were no birds chirping, but it won’t take long for them to wake up. The sun would start rising in an hour or so, but Mark didn’t really want to sleep.

            The reason behind Mark's worries right now was the fact that he once again gave into what Byunghun wanted. The slightly shorter male had barged into his apartment with a need for relaxation. The two of them had a silent agreement that whenever Byunghun needed to let out some steam he would come to the redhead’s apartment.

            The redhead felt a bit used at some point, but the fact that no matter what Byunghun would always choose him in the end calmed his aching heart.

            As he finally felt sleep slowly taking over, his ears picked up a sound of feet shuffling inside of his bedroom and the doors of his balcony being slid open. Mark turned his head and opened his eyes to look at Byunghun. The way his eyes were half lidded because he apparently just woke up. The way his lips were tugged into a soft smile. It was simply breathtaking. 

            Without saying anything, Byunghun settled himself next to Mark and laid his head down on the redhead’s lap. Mark hesitated, but after a moment, his fingers were brushing the slightly shorter male’s hair and Byunghun let out a sigh.

            The two of them stayed up in the balcony all night. It started to rain and Mark tried to count the raindrops while Byunghun tapped a familiar beat onto one of his thighs.

            Somewhere around five in the morning, when the sun was already rising, Byunghun’s fingers found Mark’s palm and he started tracing patterns all over it. They played with each other’s fingers until their fingertips were too numb to feel.

            Somewhere around seven in the morning the two of them had made their way to Mark’s bed and fell asleep wrapped up in each other’s arms. Their legs were tangled up into a mess of limbs on the bed and the redhead chuckled softly when he woke up and saw that Byunghun was trying to get up not so elegantly.

            He asked him to stay. And Byunghun did. They stayed up watching old cartoons and drinking hot chocolate.

            Byunghun didn’t have to say anything. Even the silence was okay for Mark if he was there, next to him. There is something magical about silence when Byunghun’s there. The sun and the clouds are even more beautiful when Byunghun is next to him.

            They listened to the pattering of rain against the window and watched the trails it makes as it runs down. The rain was beautiful, but none of it compared to Byunghun. Especially when he was next to Mark.

            The box was once again left in the middle of Mark’s room, not looked through.

            The redhead could never throw any of the items out.

            Maybe Byunghun wasn’t in love with him, but Mark had time. He had years to give to the slightly shorter male. Maybe Byunghun wasn’t in love with him yet, but the redhead was willing to wait and see, because his heart wasn’t willing to give the boy up.