Key's POV
 

"Hyung, let's break up," I told him.
 

"Why? I thought you love me, Key. Why are you breaking up with me?" he asked me. I did love him, a lot. I gave him everything that I have: my heart, my soul, everything. Even right now I still love him and that won’t change.
 

"I did love you, but... I guess not anymore. I'm sorry, hyung. I hope you'll forgive me. I know that you'll be able to find someone better than me. Someone who will love you and be with you forever," I lied. Breaking up with him was the hardest thing to do but I have to. The whole time, I was holding back my tears but the pain in my chest was unbearable.

".... Fine, okay. I… I guess understand, or at least I'll try to understand. Bye, Key. I'll always love you, remember that." He walked away from me while he said those words, trying not letting me see his tears already rolling down his cheeks. I stayed there for a while, letting my own tears roll down, letting my feelings come out. The sadness, the pain and the urge to run to him and tell him that everything I said was a lie were all making me numb and paralyzed.

Jonghyun was my life and the only reason why I am happy, but then somewhere deep inside me told me that I should let him go. It was hard for me to make that decision but in the end I chose to do it. Months have passed after my break-up with him. I heard he moved to New Jersey trying to live a new life and to move on from our break up.

While I'm still here alone, thinking, "Will I be able to move on?" Of course I can and I will even though I miss him terribly. I miss his kisses, his hugs and his touch. I miss the way he looks at me every morning, the way he greets me and make my day with his smile. I miss the way his arms snakes around my waist when I cook for him, the way he put his chin on my shoulder while humming. I miss the way he sweet talk to me when he was late for our date, and the way he makes those adorable puppy dog eyes to make himself forgiven. I miss the way sings me to sleep, the way he snuggle to me at night. I miss the way he screamed at me on our first fight when I accidentally ruined his favourite shirt, and the way he apologized after hurting me. I miss the way he cried when he heard his grandfather passed away, and the way he looked like a child not wanting to be alone. Lastly, I miss the way he says 'I Love You' to me every single day, and the way he says 'I Miss You' whenever I'm not with him.

But what the use of missing all those things when I'm the one who decided to end everything in the first place? Missing all those things would be useless now and nothing would make those things to come back because he's gone.

After a while I heard he had already found himself a new love. I was happy for him because at least he found someone to be with him and to love him. Now that Jonghyun’s happy, I decided to be happy too but stopped when I started feeling pain in my stomach. Every time I feel pain, I would ignore it. Every time I ignore it, the stronger it strikes back.

Days have passed, when I saw my reflection in the mirror. I looked horrible, my cheeks that used to be so chubby and rosy turned hollow and sickly pale. The used to be invisible dark circles under my eyes turned too visible looking like I hadn't slept for nights. What’s happening to me? I used to be so healthy, I always eat proper meal, I try to exercise as much as I can my due to my low metabolism I can only go for small jogs, and I don’t smoke or drink or do drugs either.

I don't know what suddenly happened to me. Even my friends noticed the big difference. They said I became way too weak, even weaker than when I used to be. I told them the pains I've been having, and they forced me to go to the hospital but I chose to ignore it. Days have passed and the pains became even stronger that they made me lose consciousness. I think they're right.

I went to the doctor with Taemin then I found out that I have cancer, terminal stage. When Taemin heard the news, he cried like a baby. I felt like crying but no tears would come out. I guess they ran out after crying every night for missing Jonghyun. I tried to tell Taemin not to mention my illness to the hyungs but what's the point if they're going to find out about it sooner or later. They tried to make me get chemotherapy, but I thought it was useless since it's already terminal stage.

Weeks after finding out then I noticed that I have gotten thinner and paler than my already pale complexion. The way I look right now is similar to that of a corpse. My hair started falling out and my cheeks protruded even more.

My friends started taking care of me, though I feel sorry for them for doing it. They look at me with sadness, pity, but mostly love. I feel even more sorry for them when I accidentally heard them talking in the living room; Taemin was crying, Minho's arms were around his shoulder, comforting him. Onew hyung was pacing while talking on the phone to someone, tears are already rolling down his angelic face. I went back to my room and started crying. I know the reason why they were like that in the living room; it's all because of me.

Even though I was in my room, I could still hear Taemin’s broken sobs and Onew hyung still talking on the phone, though I can’t actually catch what he was saying since the words were almost mumbled from all his crying and sniffing. Without letting them know, I decided to take a walk, the atmosphere inside the house was just too much for me to handle and I need to clear my head. As soon I stepped out of my door, I already saw a couple of passers by giving me quick, weird glances. I know I got thinner but do I really look that bad?

I continued walking until I reached the park. And I thought I could clear my mind out of things, but boy was I wrong. Those people who kept looking at me just made me even more insecure of how I look right now than I was before. Well, ! It looks like this walk wasn’t going to help me at all, I thought.
With no hesitation, I walked away from the park though I could still feel those people looking at my back. Is it their first seeing someone as thin as me or they’re just plain stupid? I kept walking until I thought of going to where Jonghyun and I used to go, a secret place were only the two of us knows.

Jonghyun discovered it first and then he showed it to me, making it our own secret meeting place. It was covered in tall trees shading us from the sun, flower bushes surrounding us that smells so nice and relaxing, and birds that sings to us as we lie down on the soft, green grass and enjoy the feeling of being together. The thought of that place and my memories of Jjong brought a tear to my eye, and a small piece of my already shattered and broken heart shattered even more as I start missing those precious times with him.
 

Our secret meeting place came to view and I sat down on the grass, remembering how happy and in love me and Jonghyun were. I remember how Jonghyun carefully laid a chequered picnic cloth on the grass and prepared the food for our first date, and how he tried to be romantic and feed me but failed in the end as he accidentally drop the food on my shirt. I remember how he climbed up on one of the trees just to impress me but in the end he fell down and broke his wrist, and how he was still able to pull me down with him and play wrestling. I remember how happy he was when we played tag, and how sad he looked when he lost. I remember how sweet he was when he surprised me on one of our dates and gave me a ring with words “I Love You, Key –Jonghyun” engraved on it and how he smiled at me when he showed me his ring with words “I Love You Too, Jonghyun –Key” also engraved on it and kissed me tenderly. I also remembered how warm he felt when I laid my head on his chest when we stayed out late, and how he embraced me to prevent me from getting cold.

Unconsciously, more tears ran down my face and I noticed that it was already dark. I made my way back home and received lots scolding my friends, though I know they were only scolding me because they’re worried and because I didn’t say anything when I left. I apologized to them and went to my room, changed my clothes and lay down. My eyes are already drifting and threatening to close from exhaustion, though my mind can’t seem to shut up as I kept asking myself, “why did I even go back to that place? Now all I can think about is Jonghyun, Jonghyun, Jonghyun.” All I can think about is Jonghyun. Am I a stupid airhead to let go of him, leaving the both of us in confusion and hurt? Hours later, my brain started getting tired from all the thinking and finally letting me drift off to sleep.

It was early fall when almost all of my hair had fallen out and I started wearing a beanie. My clothes that used to fit on my body, now hung loosely. How am I supposed to look good when none of my clothes fit me properly? That question may sound ridiculous, but to me, looks are important.  But wait, I am sick and about to die so how is that important right now?

I was in my bed, looking outside the window. The weather was so gloomy, no sun outside, but only pure gray clouds though it wasn't raining, my favourite kind of day. No one knows why I like this kind of weather, even me that I just kept staring outside when I heard a knock on the door. I told that person to come in and then I saw him.
 

Jonghyun is back and he's standing right in front me. He didn't talk but his tears were already falling like a waterfall on his face. He walked to me and knelt beside me, holding my cold hand.
 

"Key... What happened to you? Huh? Why did this have happen to you? You were so cheerful and healthy and..." he put his down on our laced hands, unable to finish the sentence as more sobs escape his lips.
 

"Jonghyun, what are you doing here? How did you found out?" I asked him with my hoarse voice.
 

"Onew hyung called me the other day. He told me everything. Key, why didn't you go to the hospital earlier if you were already feeling pain? Hm? If you found out sooner, you would have done something about your illness."
 

"It's okay, if I'm going to die, I'm fine with it. If I’m destined to die there’s nothing I can do about it. Besides, I already feel contented with whatever I achieved in my life. I get to meet and love someone like you, meet the most amazing friends, had a loving family. What else could I ask for?" I smiled at him weakly.

"But Key, what about me, huh? Are you fine about leaving me? What’s the reason why you broke up with me? I want know for real, Key, because I honestly don't know why until now. I tried moving on and be in a relationship with someone else but in the end, I broke up with him because I still love you and I can't forget about you."

"Jjong, I... I also don't know why I broke up with you. Its just there’s this part of me wanting to let go of you, a feeling that tells me I don’t deserve you and that someone deserves you better than me. Even if we broke up I always think about you and I never stopped loving you.” I tried not to cry but my tears already betrayed me.

"Me too, Key, I never stopped loving you. So, I want you back and this time, I'm never going to let you. Nothing will separate us ever again, okay?" He said as he took both of my cold hands into his and squeezed it lightly before he kissed them.

"Alright, Jjong. Um... can you do me a favour? I ran out of Popsicles and I'm craving some right now." I smiled sheepishly at my once again boyfriend.

"Sure, babe. What flavour do you want?" he got up then caressed my hollow cheek.

"Anything will be fine." "Got it, I'll be right back really quick, okay? If you need anything else, just call me. I'm still using the same number. Love you." He leaned down and kissed my forehead, then my cheek and finally my lips. He kissed my lips longer, because I know we both missed it.

He left me and I went back into staring outside the window. Minutes passed after Jonghyun left, when the pain came back. It was unbearable, it was too much. It was like someone pulling my insides out. I tried screaming for help, hoping that someone would hear my cry of pleas. I tried to reach for my phone to call Jonghyun, but I accidentally pushed it and it fell onto the floor. It was too painful that I started crying. I kept clutching onto my stomach hoping it would go away, but it kept getting even more painful. Seconds ticked by but nothing happened. I was rolled into a ball, still crying.

Is this the end for me? Am I dying now? God, why do you have to take me now? I just got back together with the most important person in my life, I want to spend more time with him and make up for the times we weren't together. Please, God, not now. Please, I'm begging you. I kept crying and praying and begging. I was still clutching on my stomach on one hand and the other on the bed sheets. This is too much, I can't take it anymore.

If... If I give up now and die, would this unbearable pain inside me fade away? Will all of my miseries and sorrows die with me? If I give up my life now, would people mourn for me? Would people miss me? Would people remember me when I'm gone after years? Would Onew hyung or Minho or Taemin miss me or remember me? Would Jonghyun ever forget about me?

Tears continue to roll down my face and I could feel the pain slowly fading away. I was glad about this but I could also feel my life slowly fading away with the pain. I guess all that praying didn't work. My sight is getting blurry as more tears flow from my eyes, my breathing became shallow, and I became too weak to even lie down properly. I don't want to see them suffering anymore because of me. I don't want to suffer anymore either. Please....

I closed my eyes slowly as I feel my life draining out of my body. I felt like I’m floating and everything around me feel so light. No more pain and no more sufferings. I could feel that I regain my strength and when I opened my eyes again, only this time to see myself a lifeless shell lying on my bed. I looked at myself with pity, no wonder my friends looked so sad whenever they see me. I look way worse than I thought. My cheeks are hollowed than I thought they were, my fair and smooth skin was greyish and looked absolutely terrible. My face was tear-stained, most of my silky hair had fallen put, and my bed was totally messy.

I heard my front door opened and heard footsteps coming to my bedroom door. I saw my friends, Onew hyung, Minho and Taemin staring at my lifeless body. Shock, sadness and grief took over them.  Taemin didn't hold back and cried, letting all of his sadness out as Minho tried to hold back his tears but failed. Onew hyung kneeled beside my body trying to wake me up but all of us know that it was now impossible for I am dead. Onew hyung then let his tears flow while holding my cold hand.

I was hurt when I saw them like that. I stepped closer to Onew hyung and touched his shoulder. He flinched from the cold touch and looked at me. He stared at me with wide eyes and I know that he is scared of what he is seeing in front of him.

"K-ke-Key..." he managed to say through his stuttering.
 

"Key... hyung" both Taemin and Minho said at the same time when they saw my spirit beside Onew hyung and my lifeless body.

"Are you guys scared? Don't be, I'm just here to say few words before I go permanently. Onew hyung, I know you called Jonghyun and told him about me. We got back together a couple of hours ago, but I sent him to go somewhere to buy me Popsicles. I guess the effort you've given was wasted since, you know, I'm dead now, I'm just a spirit. Please tell him I love him once again and that I will always love him. Taemin-ah, I know you have a crush on Minho. You better grab your chance before he slip away from your reach, got it?" Taemin nodded at me, still unable to talk from the shock of seeing my spirit talking to them.

"And Minho, how could you be so blind as to not see the way Taemin looks at you, you jerk. You know, he's the complete package and you too are very compatible. So you better take him before somebody else does. Okay?" Minho also nodded.

This time, Onew hyung had the courage to speak. "Key, why did left us? I thought you wanted to fight? What happened now? Hm? What about us? What about Jonghyun? What about your family?"

"Hyung, I tried fighting but it was too much. Besides, I don't want to see you guys suffering anymore because of me. I don't want to suffer anymore either, that's why I gave up this battle because I know in the end, I will still lose."

Taemin also spoke up, "But hyung, aren't we together in this battle? We're here for you, to help you get through this."

"Taemin's right hyung. We're always here for you. We all decided on that, didn't we? We don't care if we're suffering because we know that if you get better, all those sufferings would be worth it."

"I know that and I'm very thankful for everything you guys have done for me. But there's nothing else that we can do now, I already lost. But don't forget that I will always love all of you, that I will always have you inside my heart forever and for eternity. And please, tell Jonghyun the same for me. I love you guys, forever.”

Taemin, Minho and Onew hyung walked closer to me and hugged me. I stepped away from them as I waved my final goodbye. All of them started crying again when I finally started to feel myself to disappear from this world.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The three of them watched as Key's spirit slowly disappear in front of their eyes. They would never forget the smile on Key's face as he disappears permanently from the world. His spirit look so much like the old Key, his eyes are full of life, his cheeks are rosy and chubby, and his skin was the usual fair and smooth milky white.

They were still trying to accept the fact that they friend is now gone when Jonghyun entered the room with a plastic full of different flavoured Popsicles. He saw the three of them crying, their backs facing him.
"Hey guys, what's up with the atmosphere? You know, being like this isn't good for Key." Jonghyun said, clueless as to what really happened a few minutes ago before he came in.

"Hyung...." Taemin turned around and ran to Jonghyun, hugging his shoulders. Jonghyun was shocked from Taemin's sudden action but then hugged him back. "Hey Taemin, what's wrong?" he asked.

"H-hyung... he... h-he's gone, h-hyung... K-key hyung's not with us anymore..." Taemin continued to cry on to his hyung's broad shoulders.

"What do you mean? He's right there. He even asked me to buy him Popsicles 'cuz he was craving to eat some."

"Hyung, he's dead. He... he just passed away when we got here..." it was Minho's turn to speak as he gently made Onew sit on the edge of the bed to calm him down from crying. His voice wasn't trembling as much as Taemin's but it wasn't also as composed either.

"Wh-wha... What are y-you guys talking about? Key isn't de..." Jonghyun doesn't want to say the next word because he doesn't want to believe it. He just got back together with the most important person in his life. He doesn't want to separate from him yet, he's not ready to let go of him. He wanted to spend more time with him, make up for the time he wasted trying to move on instead of trying to win him back. He wanted to prove to Key that he loves him truly and deeply and how much he wanted to spend the rest of his life with him.

He dropped the plastic bag he was holding as he stepped aside Taemin, walking closer to his lover's corpse. He hesitantly took his cold lifeless hand and put in his cheek while tears roll down his face. He couldn't believe that Key left him forever.

"Yah... How could you leave me? Huh? We just got back together for crying out loud, Key!! WAKE UP!!! KEY, WAKE UP FOR ME, PLEASE!!!" Jonghyun kept screaming at the corpse, hoping that his lover would wake up once again.

The other three also cried again, grief and loss taking over the room as cries of mourn and sadness and pain could only be heard. They went closer to the bed and stayed beside Jonghyun.

From far away, Key could see them mourning for his loss. His life was very short but he was very thankful for every blessing he received, for everything he had achieved, for everything he experienced, and everyone he met, for everyone he loved, and for everyone who loved him back.

He was very thankful and contented for everything though he was regretful for not doing much more than he did, for not achieving more, and for not showing how much he loved everyone. He gave up his life because he knows that God probably have more plans for him. With that thought in mind, he was anticipating what his next life would be, and if he will be able to meet such amazing people like Onew, Jonghyun, Minho, and Taemin.

*              *              *              *              *              *              *              *              *              *              *              *

Years have passed after Key's death and many things have already changed. Minho and Taemin got married and now have their own family when they decided to adopt twin babies, and buying them an adorable dog as a gift for their fifth birthday. Onew also got married to Luna, a girl he met when he was on vacation and right then he knew she was the one for him. As for Jonghyun, he never got married because he promised himself that he will not get married to anyone until he and Key meet again in the after life.

Every single day, Jonghyun would visit his lover's grave, bringing his favourite flowers. He would sit beside the tombstone, clean the stray fallen autumn leaves, and sing to him with their favourite song. He would tell him stories and how his day went, even telling things how the 2min and Lunew couple is doing and how happy they are.

Years have already passed, and Jonghyun still has the other couple ring on his finger. The other one was along with Key, proof that their love will last for all eternity and that their loves will bind them as one.
All those years, all Jonghyun ever think about is Key, their past but precious memories together. Those memories that showed how much they love each other, how happy they were in each others arms feeling their warmth. Jonghyun kept thinking about those memories, but the more he think about it, the more pain he felt knowing they were nothing but just a bunch memories of Key, and that nothing will make him come back to his arms ever again.

Everyday Jonghyun would wish upon the stars to see Key again and embrace him and never let him go ever again. He would wish every night to take away the pain he's feeling inside, the effect being alone and empty. For years, he tried to be happy but the thought of not having Key by his side made it impossible and that being happy without him is meaningless.

MEANINGLESS.

That's how Jonghyun felt all those years of not having Key with him. He felt meaningless when he can't see his lover's sweet smile, his sparkling eyes that always look at him with pure love and bliss, his voice that calls him everyday of being together, his warmth that radiates from his healthy and flawless body, his smooth clear face that he loves seeing and makes his day complete in the morning, his hands that caresses him and holds him, and most of all, his soft lips that kisses him everyday and every night.
Being meaningless, Jonghyun can't go on anymore. He can't survive knowing that half of his life was gone, that half of his heart was buried under the earth, and that of him was nothing but memories.

With no hesitation, he ended his life anticipating that he will see Key again after. His death was quick and precise; all he did was to shoot himself through his heart. With one shot, he was lifeless in seconds.
Minutes have passed, and his spirit was beside his body, looking down at how pathetic he had become. Soon after someone called his name, someone with a familiar voice, someone he knew even from far away.

After years of waiting, they are finally together. Key is with him again, and this time nothing would ever separate them. Even when they were still alive, they were already inseparable, not even death can tear them apart.

Key held out hi hand to Jonghyun, and he gladly took it, bliss flowing through him as felt Key's hand on him again. He smiled at Jonghyun, happy that his lover was now with him.

"I've missed you so much, Key" Jonghyun said, looking at the other eyes, loving that his eyes hasn't changed at all.

"Me, too, I didn't know it would take you this long to follow me here and I had to wait for years." Key said jokingly.

"Yah! Do you know how hard it is to restrain myself from following you here? I had to stop every time I try to follow you because I had to think those people who will get hurt if I died."

"But in the end you chose to do it. You followed me all the here and gave up your life. You chose to leave them behind so that you could be with me."

"I know, and now I'm happy I did it because now I'm with you. That's all that matters to me, nothing else."
 

"I guess you're right."

"Hey, are you not happy about us being together?"

"Of course I am.  It's just that, I knew you had to give up a lot of things; your family, friends, Onew hyung, Minho, Taemin, and everything. I know giving up all those things is hardest to do but you chose to do it so that you could be with me here in the after life. You have no idea how much your sacrifice means to me. Thank you." Key said as he walked closer to Jonghyun, wrapping his arms around the older man and embracing him.

"You know, for a spirit, you are way too dramatic. But that proves your still the same Key that I have always loved. I love you, Key. I love you forever," he smiled and kissed Key's soft lips. Those lips he had missed so much.

"I love you, too, Jjong. Forever"

After they vowed to love each other, they walked holding each other's hand, finger intertwined firmly, not wanting to let go of the other. They could never to be apart from the other anymore. As they walked to face their journey together, they will continue their love. Their love that binds them as one no matter where the other is, it will be as endless and vast as the universe.