It'e been like months since that happened. All of my happiness had washed away ever since that happened. I tried to accept all of it but it's haunting me even in my sleep. I can't think right anymore… you're the one I only need. You're the one I wished to hug everytime I'm having a panic attack… You're the one I wanted to kiss… You're the one I wanted to hold my hands. But where are you?

 

 

You promised that you'll take care of me and will never hurt me. But you did. At first, you made me believe on your worthless promises but in the end, promises are still meant to be broken no matter what. Maybe I'm really that worthless like what others would tell me while shoving me off. I didn't care about them though, all I care about is you… but where are you now?

 

 

 

 

Where are you,Lee Byunghun? Where was my L.joe hyung now?

 

 

 

/flashback/

 

 

It was snowing and white snow surrounded the whole park. I, Yoo Changhyun was really waiting for my big brother, Lee Chunji to come here since he promised that he'll play along with me so we could spend time together. Even though we don't have the same father, me and Yeongjin hyung still accepted him cause he deserved to be loved too.

 

 

 

I was kicking all the snow around me while pouting cause I'm really bored from waiting from my hyungie when somebody sat beside me and I heard him chuckled.

 

 

"Hello!", I turned to look at him and waved my hands

 

He smiled,"Hi."

 

"Who are you? I'm Changhyun. 14 years old!",I cheerfully stated

 

"Lee Byunghun. Just call me L.joe. 16 years of age.",he stated

 

 

He have that cool blonde hair with him and he really have those eyes that could get your attention. He's handsome. I like him! I didn't realized that I'm blushing by just looking at him but I noticed that he's sad. I wonder why.…

 

"L.joe hyung, why are you gloomy?",I asked him

 

"I-It's because my friends alrwady had their boyfriends but I'm still single and I'm really jealous at those idiots. I wanted to have one too!",he pouted so I chuckled

 

"You're so adorable hyung!"

 

He blushed,"R-Really?"

 

"Ne!"

 

"T-Thanks!",he looked away while blushing.

 

I laughed,"Hyung! You're like a tomato! You're really red!"

 

"YAH!",he covered your face

 

"Aww… stop hiding your handsome face hyung!",I

 

"W-What?",he asked me again and blushed hard

 

"Teehee~ I'm liking you hyung!"

 

He looked at me with disbelief and widened eyes before looking away immediately. He's really cute and I can't stop staring at those eyes.

 

 

"W..Well Changhyun, will you be my boyfriend?",he asked

 

I stared at him for a while before grinning widely,"It's alright with me hyung~"

 

"J-Jinjja?!",he asked me and I nodded,"So I'm your boyfriend now Changhyun-ah. I promise that I'll never hurt you and I'll take care of you! Saranghaeyo!"

 

"Nado Saranghae hyung!",I said as I kissed him in his lips before running away from him,"Hyung!"

 

He turned around,"Wha—"

 

 

 

 

He didn't finished what he was about to say when I threw a snowball at his face and he stumbled back while I'm laughing at him. He looked so funny!

 

 I was laughing so hard that I didn't noticed that he threw a snowball at my arm that I fell down cause of the impact so I smirked at him. THIS.IS.DEFINITELY.A.WAR!! I quickly took some snow and started a snow ball fight with him. All the time, we were laughing and running while throwing snowballs at each other until I heard a cough

 

 

 

 

"Changhyun, who is he?",I turned around and saw my Chunji hyung

 

"Chunji hyung!!!",I quickly embraced him as he kissed my forehead.

 

I could sense L.joe glaring at Chunji hyung and Chunji was doing the same so I fake cough that caught Chunji hyung's attention to me.

 

"Hyung, he is L.joe, ny boyfriend.",I stated

 

"Ah. So he's yo—WHAT THE HELL DID YOU JUST SAID RICKY?!",he screamed in a high pitched tone as he stared at me with widened eyes,"No way! You're too young for that!"

 

"Ricky?",Ljoe asked us

 

Chunji scoffed,"Yeah. Me and Yeongjin hyung calls him RICKY since Ricky fits his cute image!"

 

"Hyung!",I whined,"Don't be like that to Ljoe hyung!"

 

"Aish fine!",he stated while looking at L.joe,"Don't you dare to hurt my baby Ricky or you're gonna face the wrath of Lee Chunji!"

 

"I will! I promise!",Ljoe said

 

 

 

 

I told Ljoe about my dream to be a scientist since I love to be one. I told him all of my secrets and everything he needed to know since we're dating. And I also told him about my crush, YuJin from N-Train but he got jealous. He's really funny. I also found out that he and Chunji hyung were both trainees from the same entertainment. He wanted to become a rapper… that's what he said to me with determined eyes.

 

 

 

Our relationship was really strong but we lose contact on each other for a long time but I'm still happy cause he's not breaking up with me even though that when my friend wants to meet L.joe, I could just say that he's gone for a while. It's been 2 years and we'll be a couple for 2 years and 1 month and I've heard from Chunji hyung that he just came back to his old apartment. He never know how glad I am for knowing that he still came back.. It was 8PM and I just baked some cookies secretly since I knew that it was his favorite and I went to his dorm.

 

 

 

I was about to knock on it but I heard him talking to someone so I leaned my ear on the door as I heard something sloppy..

 

 

"L.joe, what about Ricky?",I heard a familiar voice. It was Chunji hyung's. What is he doing here?

 

 

"That ?",I heard him laughed,"Do you even care for that little ? He may be ing somebody right now. He may even forget what happened a few years ago."

 

"W-What?",I whispered

 

"And don't even think that I love that guy. I just played with him! DUH! I DON'T EVEN LOVE HIM. You're the one I love.", L.joe shouted at Chunji

 

 

 

Then I heard a loud THOUD and Chunji hyung was screaming like there's no tomorrow. I just gasped. I don't believe on what L.joe just said. No. He's just kidding. I opened the door and it revealed L.joe ing my hyung. I dropped the basket of cookies I made as I gasped, tears are flowing from my eyes.

 

 

 

"R-Ricky?",I heard Chunji hyung gasped

 

"W-WHAT ARE YOU TWO DOING!?",I screamed

 

 

Chunji pushed L.joe aside as he wore his jeans before trying to come near me..

 

"Ricky, I can explain.",he was about to hold me when I step backwards

 

"DON'T EVEN DARE TO TOUCH ME.",I gritted my teeth

 

"But Ri—"

 

"Shut up! I don't wanted to hear any of your lies!",I screamed and ran away.

 

 

 

 

 

I couldn't believe what just I saw. My own brother and my boyfriend.. I don't know what to think anymore. I hated this. I looked at my phone… I cried again as I saw the wallpaper of mine and Ljoe. I quickly looked at the contacts… No. Niel hyung is busy. Cap hyung and Changjo is maybe at the gym and I can't contact my busy Yeongjin hyung who was on the K-Group, AlphaBAT. I don't want to be a burden to him…

 

 

 

I looked at the bridge and looked down at it. It was a few meters from the water more than 7 ft. I may not survive this. Yes Ricky. Do it.. do it. Besides, you're a worthless boyfriend. Yeah. Ljoe had been bored on you cause you've been a boring boyfriend to him. I quickly let myself fall from the railings of the bridge as I heard Chunji hyung's voice before everything I felt is the col