“Kibum do you think I’m ugly?”

Jonghyun stiffens as he overhears Taemin’s meek voice on the other side of the door. It’s evident that the seventeen year old boy’s voice is hoarse from crying and that Key is trying to comfort him.

“Taemin!” Key gasps. “Of course not! You are the cutest cutie ever.”

“That’s the problem! I’m too cute. I’m like everyone’s baby and maybe that’s why he doesn’t want to have with me.” Taemin’s cries are muffled. Jonghyun heart rate increases and he’s overwhelmed with remorse. ‘This can’t continue’ he thinks. He turns on his heels and doesn’t ask Key to help him with his assignment that day.

***

The bell rings and Jonghyun hurriedly gathers his things. He needs to talk to Jinki, to let the other know that whatever is going on between them cannot continue and Taemin doesn’t deserve this. When he thinks that he’s closed his folder and is stuffing it as best as he possibly can into his already packed book bag, the zipper slides out against his will and his assignments carpet the floor beneath his feet.

“Great just great!” He’s on his knees, sorting the mess when he hears footsteps and suddenly someone’s kneeling along with him helping him. He glances up to see none other than “Taemin.” He whispers.

“Hey Jonghyun!” The other greets happily and continues to help his hyung with his papers. Jonghyun stays still for a while and resumes sorting. He can’t help the guilt coursing through his veins. The way Taemin looks at him, with those big unknowing brown eyes. What is he doing? What exactly is he doing to Taemin’s relationship with Jinki?

Despite Jonghyun’s state of mind, his curiosity got the better of and he asks “Why are you on this side of the campus?”

Taemin laughs and says “I wanted to meet up with Jinki so we could walk over together since he’s spending the night.” Is it fair to say that Jonghyun felt a pang of jealously just then? Well, he smiles along disregarding the affairs of his heart and wishes Taemin the best. He knows that Taemin is only seventeen and in his last year high school whereas Jinki is twenty-two and in his second year of tertiary education. They’ve been together for almost a year and things seems to be going great except for the past three weeks whereby Jinki has been spending nights in Jonghyun’s arms and bed having the time of their lives behind closed doors. Plus he heard Taemin the other day that Jinki doesn’t want to take their relationship any further, that Jinki probably only sees him as his baby and no one wants to have with a baby, that a baby he’s not masculine. He concludes that Taemin is very insecure and he’ll never admit it because the boy has every reason to feel like Jinki drifting away.

“So ah-”

“Jonghyun!” A voice booms over his and his and Taemin’s attention averts to Jinki just entering the classroom. “Oh, Taemin.” Jinki deflates a bit but regains his cheery tone. “I didn’t know you’d be here.”

“I wanted to surprise you.” Taemin beams, strolls over to Jinki and pecks him on the lips. Jonghyun closes his eyes just in the nick of time to avoid the heart wrenching sight. “Ready?”

“uhh..” Jinki spare Jonghyun a glance and the latter urge them to go on without him. He busies himself by playing with the zippers on his pants until he hears them bidding him goodbye and departing footsteps and he looks up to see Jinki’s departing back.

***

“Jinki stop.” Jonghyun pleads as Jinki ravishes his neck. He doesn’t want Jinki to stop but for the sake of Taemin’s heart and his conscience he must stop Jinki.

“What’s the problem?” Jinki asks breathlessly.

“Taemin.” Jonghyun says.

Jinki closes his mouth and rolls off a half- Jonghyun. Great just ruined the moment.

“He’s hurting Jinki and I feel terrible because I’m the primary factor why he’s feeling that way. He really likes you. Jinki-”

“I’ll break up with him.” Jinki interjects and turns to face Jonghyun. “If that’s what you want.”

“No!” It comes out louder than Jonghyun intends it to. “Of course not. He’s young and very vulnerable and I want you guys to work on your relationship. Jinki, running away from it won’t help.”

“You don’t need to worry about. I’m not even having with the boy, he’s too young. We’ve just kissed and that’s it. He’s still a child and I’m not sitting in a jail cell for no one.”

Jonghyun couldn’t believe his ears. Why did Jinki become so heartless?

“Then why are you with him. You’re leading him on then. You’re playing with his heart. You guys have been together for over a year, that’s a lot of time invested in a relationship. Why are you being so-”

“Indifferent? Uncaring? I’m a bastard, aren’t i? Well, why don’t you ask the seemly innocent one why I don’t want to take things any further?!” Jinki gets his bag and storms out leaving Jonghyun confused.

**

“He never forgave me!” Taemin cries. Jonghyun finds himself  listening to Taemin’s his little talk with Key…again. “From the time I made that terrible mistake.” Taemin’s pouring his heart out which makes Jonghyun’s chest ache. “I never meant to cheat.”

Cheat? Taemin cheated? Is that why Jinki doesn’t want to be any more intimate with him?

“Taemin, don’t beat yourself over it. To be frank I think this relationship is consuming your life and you’re only 17, you have so people to date in life. I hate seeing you so miserable, please just ends things with Jinki.”

“What?” Taemin sniffles stop. “I should break up with him? But I love him, Kibum”

“Taemin for your well-being this is not healthy at all. End it before it’s too late.”

There’s silence and Jonghyun wonders whether they have heard his feet shuffling but then Taemin says something along the lines of ok I’ll do it because I trust you hyung and Kibum saying if he truly cares about you he won’t give up so easily.

**

Jonghyun’s caught off guard when he’s grabbed from behind, pinned to the wall and his lips are captured in a hungry kiss and instinctively he kisses back with as much passion. When his eyes flutter open to see a panting Jinki in his sight he smiles widely.

“Hey.” He says stupidly and tries to ignore his racing heart.

“Hi.” Jinki replies and kisses him once more. “Let’s celebrate.”

“Celebrate?”

“Yes, celebrate our relationship. You’re mine and I’m yours as of now!” Jinki informs excitedly and Jonghyun freezes.

“Taemin broke up with me this morning. He said it was a toxic relationship and that we should continue to be friends and date other people. See, you had nothing to worry your cute little head over, boyfriend.” Jinki grins and begins to walk to the campus exit. “Aren’t you coming ?” He asks when Jonghyun doesn’t follow immediately.

“I-I need to get some books. I’ll meet you in a bit!” Jonghyun turns and jogs off in the direction of his locker. He can’t help the stupid grin that spreads across his face. He and Jinki are together, in the open now. He’s jogging happily until he emerges at the other end of the building where he’s supposed to turn and he finds a boy crying.

“Taemin.” The name slips from his lips without thinking about it.

Taemin tries to obliterate the evidence of his tears by rubbing furiously at his eyes but it doesn’t help.

“I’m here because I couldn't think straight during my classes and I realized I’d make a terrible mistake wth breaking up with Jinki but it seems he has already moved on.”

“Taemin” Jonghyun tries.

“I thought you were my friend. You know I like him. Why would you introduce us? Why?” Taemin asks angrily. “So all this time when I was telling you my ideas about my dates with Jniki you were with him too. I don’t know if I should be angry at you or pity you. You’re no friend, not at all. I figured he was cheating but you were far from whom I'd suspected.” Taemin laughs. “I may look young because I am but I’m glad I’m not an envious, malicious and devious 20 yr old.”

“T-”

“Save your sob story for who cares and it’s not me.” Taemin reprimanded, stabbing Jonghyun’s chest with his index finger. “I find your presence distasteful now.” He begins to walk before he stops and turns.

“By the way... what is it like being the other guy?”

Jonghyun felt like crap.

***

Jonghyun had tried to avoid Jinki after the altercation with Taemin but it was next to impossible because Jinki was always there trying to figure out why he was so down. Jonghyun never answered. He hadn’t seen Taemin in three days and he was happy for that until..

“Why won’t you talk to me?” Jinki snakes his arm across his shoulders and he feigns a smile.

“It’s nothing.”

“Itis definitely something.” Jinki stops walking and so does the other. “Talk to me, I’m here, aren’t I?”

“I’m just –I don’t’ know.” Jonghyun took a deep breath, “I lost a friend over my own selfish behaviour,”

“Well, I’m here for you always.” Jinki leans down and kisses his sad boyfriend. Jonghyun relaxes and kisses back. “Feel better?”

“ A little bit. “ He grabs Jinki’s hand and they walk hand in hand to their dorms but along the way Jinki tries to be spontaneous, backs Jonghyun against a wall began ravishing him there. Jonghyun finds the thrill of being seen enjoyable until the sound of papers falling frightened them apart. Their eyes averted to find a boy kneeling down and sorting his mess. They hurried over to help him until they discovered who it was.

“Taemin?” Uncertainty evident in Jinki’s voice. He kneeled and helped him anyways and Jong did too carefully trying to avoid Taemin’s eyes. Awkward was an understatement but Jinki didn’t seem to mind.

“Hey buddy how is school?”

Buddy? Jong cringed at the playful term.

“It’s fine.” Taemin replied calmly and cheerfully?

“Thanks for helping.”

“No worries.” and Jinki waves him off.

But Jong didn’t miss the longing stares Taemin directed at Jinki.

***

“Jinki are you happy?”

“Huh..uhh I think so.”

“What does Jonghyun have that I don’t?”

Jinki stiffened and turned to face the recently turned 18 and legal Taemin with his long chestnuts’ hair tied up in a pony tail.

“What does Minho have that I don’t?” If there was one thing sure that Jinki knew about Taemin was how to shut him up.

“Will you ever forgive me?” Taemin exhaled heavily. “You’ve cheated too and I always forgive you why can’t you give me a chance for once?”

Jinki slammed down the book he was skim reading and grabbed his things to leave. But Taemin grabbed a hold of him. “Jinki, don’t.” Taemin pleaded with teary eyes.

“Jonghyun is mature and very loving and I know for sure that he wouldn’t sleep with the person who ually assaulted me on the first night of high school here, the first time being away from anyone I’ve ever known.”

Taemin taken aback by what Jinki had confessed could only drop his hold from him. He didn’t know that.

When Jinki almost disappeared from his sight he ran him down to ask one more question.

“Jinki…

“Yes?” he didn’t bother to turn around.

“Did you ever love me?”

Is it fair for Taemin to hope for a yes? Well he wouldn’t because the other walked away without a word in response to that question.

“Just leave Jonghyun and I alone. We’re happy. We don’t need any more weeds in our garden.”