Strangers.

That was what you wished the two of you ever were. Nothing more. You hated him. Or at least that was what you told yourself.

But you hated yourself even more for falling for that one person you knew would only hurt you.

You had always kept to yourself. That 'quiet' kid at the back of the class was you. That kid who never caused any trouble was you. That kid who didn't care about popularity whatnot was you.

And then insert the player takes interest cliche here!

That was basically the story of your life. And then he'd ruin your life and you'd either move on or he'd regret everything and tadah! Happily ever after!

Nope.

That wasn't going to happen.

Not with your luck. 

And your luck had always been rotten to begin with.

~✿❀

"We're over. Got it? I'm sure you're smart. You know who i was after. She likes a chase and i have her right where i want. So we'll break up and you can mourn for how long. Arasso? Don't pretend you didn't have an ulterior motive too." He said coldly while you kept your eyes cast on your hands. Tears threatening to spill over. You wouldn' let them fall over. It was a sign of weakness. No matter how you felt, you had to conceal it now.

"B–But." You started and he groaned.

"Don't make this harder for yourself. Just go." He snapped and stood up but you reached out on impulse and grabbed his wrist. An electric jolt ran down your spine and you swallowed back a sob.

That was the first time you'd initiated any skinship through the whole 2 months of your 'relationship'. 

"I—I'm sorry." You choked out but Niel tugged his wrist out of your hand and it fell to your side limply.

And he walked away. Your heart dropped just a little more than it could possibly drop because it had already it rock bottom as you whispered to the air.

"For falling for you."

~✿❀

2 Months ago...

"Will you be my girlfriend?" Niel asked, eyes full of emotion that you almost believed him. Almost.

At that time, you were sick and tired of being invisible. You wanted friends. Sounded pathetic, didn't it? But you were more than desperate. So you said the only thing that you thought would help with that.

"Okay."

~✿❀

Here comes the cliche. You both fall in love, yadah yadah. But for you, it was just one-sided. And you were that one-side.

"Listen here. I like you, whatever so you better start acting like we're madly in love or something. Got it?" Niel said after the whole 'Be my girlfriend' incident.

Not like you were surprised. You knew he had an ulterior motive. He was using you as much as you were using him. But you still were curious though.

"Neh. But are you trying to get someone jealous? Is there a bet? What's the catch?" You rattled off and Niel's eyebrows furrowed.

"That's for me to know and it's not for you to find out. Geez, i didn't think the resident queen of geeks would actually give a damn."

Ouch. That stung.

Your eyes narrowed and you held back the temptation to shove a certain finger up his face but you were much too civilised for that.

It wasn't like you didn't think he was attractive. It's just that he wasn't your... Style. You didn't understand what he had that made the girls swoon so much. But you didn't intend to find out.

~✿❀

He acted all lovey-dovey in front of the crowd. Of course. He happened to love showing the world skinship. Hand holding in the hallways, holding your books for you, casually slinging his arm over your shoulder.

And you found yourself falling for it all. Bit by bit. Even though you knew it was an act. Now, could it get any more pathetic than that?

Yes it could.

~✿❀

"Hey Niel."

"What."

"Can you tell me why you're doing this?"

"No."

"Okay."

You asked every few days and the answer was always the same. But you weren't an idiot. You noticed his lingering stare on that girl from the class next to his. He always passed her class with you on purpose. And you always felt that sting.

You liked how he was sort of bossy, it was masculine to you. You liked how he acted in front of everyone else to you. You found yourself believing the lies you had already accepted as lies from the beginning. You found yourself falling deeper and deeper for him no matter how many times you told yourself it was just an act.

You, on the other hand, had gotten what you wanted. Friends. But they were just as fake as your relationship with Niel was. So you had haters too, he'd always come to your rescue. 

~ ✿❀

They did stupid things. Pouring water over your head in the washroom, coming back to find your backpack in the bin, finding hate notes in your locker... You were used to it by then.

Then Niel would swoop in and play perfect boyfriend again. 

He'd cover you in his jacket.

He'd threaten the girls never to do it again.

He'd grab the notes before you could read them and chucked them into the bin.

And all these gestures made you fall harder and harder.

Cliche, you knew.

"Have you eaten?" He'd ask sweetly after waiting for you outside your class everyday. You'd find yourself lost in his eyes and would simply nod whether you had or hadn't.

Weak. How could you have fallen for him? But you hadn't started complaining. Not yet.

~✿❀

There was one point where you thought he could maybe like you back. You had been under the delusion that he'd actually just been faking about the lingering stares or something. 

Like i said, delusional.

You thought his smiles were genuine. 

You thought the little gestures meant something.

You thought you were something to him.

Delusional.

~✿❀

So that was how you ended up crying in the back of the school, way after school hours. 

He'd walked away from you.

You thought you'd already mentally prepped yourself for this. After all, it was all just an act.

Never in your life would you have thought you'd bother to involve yourself in the matters of love. 

But you did.

And it hurt like hell.

~✿❀

Of course, you had to go along with everyone else. 'Sympathical friends' who'd say that they're sorry about the break-up and stuff like that.

In a week, Niel had already gotten together with her. Mourning time over, huh? 

You honestly thought you'd be over this already. But you weren't. You found yourself walking aimlessly through the neighbourhood. You weren't even looking. It was sheer luck you hadn't been run over already. 

"He's an . He played with you." 

"But how? He'd already told you it was an act."

"Exactly so why are you so affected?"

...

It took you a while to formulate an answer but when you did, you thought it wasn't enough.

"Because it was my first time falling in love. And i fell, hard."

They said forbidden love was hard. But unrequited love was harder. 

With that thought, you heard the honk of a car and you thought, "FINALLY". When a pair of arms grabbed your waist and pulled you away just a second before the car would collide with you. The touch sent tingles up your spine and the fear became bitterness.

"WHO THE ARE—" Your words got cut short when you noticed the hard stare he was giving you.

Niel.

"What are you trying to do?! Get yourself killed?!" He yelled and despite your racing heart, you pushed him off.

"What's your problem?!"

"My problem right now is you! Why are you walking around here at night! You could ge—"

"Oh, don't act like you care! You never gave a damn about me! All you cared about was yourself! Were you following me, huh? Piss off!" You screamed, shutting your eyes and covering you ears. 

You turned walked the other way but he used his body to block you.

"What? Of course i cared!" He looked genuinely shocked at your outburst. 

"Stop, okay?! Just stop! I loved you! I still do! I was already beginning to accept that you'd never love me, and now you're here! Building up my hopes all over again! I'm done! I'm not a toy. You can't build me up like a card house and then with a simple huff send me crumbling down!"

And you stalked off, hot tears streaming down your face as you ambled back home where you could cry in solitude.

~✿❀

"One, two, three, four..." You whispered as you flipped through the little notebook where you'd, so stupidly in love, written down every little extra thing he did to make you feel a little more special. 

He'd brought you out for a meal. But that was because his other friends had tagged along. Nevertheless, he still made you feel special. He'd fed you and even though his gaze was elsewhere, you couldn't help but get those butterflies.

And now thinking about it, it hurt.

Among others, you had also written down all the times he made you feel horrible. It wasn't your right to cry, after all. The deal was, no strings attached. Simply a win-win situation at the beginning.

And there you were falling into the bottomless pit.

Idiot.

You thought bitterly and scoffed at yourself, tossing every little thing you blindly kept. 

Whatever love was, you'd learned it the hard way.

All you wanted to do was to erase everything. To forget.

It was ridiculous how you'd so easily fallen for your own trap. 

You'd gotten lost in your own emotions and let them run wild.

You'd let him in, put down your walls.

And that was the biggest mistake of your life.

~✿❀

Niel had just come back from another 'date' with that girl.

He'd gotten her. So why did he not feel any feelings of accomplishment?

He sighed and turned to walk into his apartment when he felt an urge to look up.

He spotted you, eyes cast down, playing with your fingers looking lost in thought. You were by then so far gone in your thoughts that you didn't notice Niel following behind you.

He felt compelled to. So he did anyway.

And just then you walked straight onto the road.

His eyes widened and he surged forward, grabbing you by the waist and off the road before the car could hit you.

"WHO THE ARE—" You had yelled and Niel flinched.

"What are you trying to do?! Get yourself killed?!" Niel found himself yelling and to say he was shocked when you shoved him away fiercely was an understatement.

"What's your problem?!" You had spat out, venom dripping from the tip of your toungue, causing Niel's eyebrows to furrow in confusion. 

"My problem right now is you! Why are you walking around here at night! You could ge—" He began quickly, trying to mask his shock.

"Oh, don't act like you care! You never give a damn about me! All you cared about was yourself! Were you following me, huh? Piss off!"

"What? Of course i cared!" Niel's eyes widened in alarm. You never swore.

Niel stared at your face, searching for any other emotion other than hatred.

Despite your venom laced voice, your eyes had betrayed you. Tears threatening to fall and his heart felt a pang.

"Stop! Just stop! I loved you! I still do! I was already beginning to accept that you'd never love me, and now you're here! Building up my hopes all over again! I'm done! I'm not a toy. You can't build me up like a card house and then with a simple huff send me crumbling down!"

He stiffened and loosened his grip, allowing you to stalk off. He stared after you, paralysed in shock. His heart sinking with each step you took away. Further and further away from him.

And you knew you'd never come back. Not to him. Not until you had every little thing sorted out.

~✿❀

2 Months ago:

Niel had publicly announced his 'affection' towards you by asking you to be his girlfriend.

At that point it was nothing more than a mere ploy to win the heart of the ice-princess next door.

Sure, he'd asked you because the girl he'd set his eyes on hated your guts. To make her jealous, was the plan.

You'd surprisingly said yes, and he couldn't figure out why you'd so readily accepted him. He expected a chase of some sort of an explaination, seeing he'd never spoken to you in his entire life. But no.

So to keep up with the deal, Niel played perfect boyfriend. Opening lockers, having open conversations... He'd thought he'd officially clinched that girl's eye with these when she came up to him and asked how he knew you.

Niel went with the typical, love at first sight story. And he left her hanging by walked off, his heart hammering in his chest at the glee of knowing it was working.

So that day he brought you out for lunch. Of course with a crowd to play out the role.

He noticed how you began avoiding his gaze. A little blush creeping up your cheek as and when. But he couldn't figure out why. He always thought your ulterior motive was to make a guy jealous too. So he played along.

You always seemed to be searching the crowd and he assumed you were hoping someone was there. Watching.

Each time he felt a little pinch but he ignored it. "Just follow the deal." He always told himself.

He was getting closer to his original goal. The ice-princess had asked him out and he'd accepted, telling her it was a harmless study date.

By then, he would smile when you did. He would laugh along with whatever little thing you did. 

Niel found you more amusing to watch day by day. But it was always in public and he couldn't ask you anything. Everytime you were both alone, there would be an uncomfortable silence and he'd catch you shooting him glances.

He'd thought you just found him weird. Why was he still following you? You were both away from the crowd.

So he started keeping his distance. He found himself wanting more skinship and then the next day, the ice-princess told him she liked him.

Niel had no idea what to do. He'd lost the thrill of being chased by the ice-princess. He'd began finding your prescence comforting.

But he thought you found him to be a burden. A weight that she had to put up with.

So, dismissing all the pent-up feelings he had. He put on a brave front.

"We're over. Got it? I'm sure you're smart. You know who i was after. She likes a chase and i have her right where i want. So we'll break up and you can mourn for how long. Arasso? Don't pretend you didn't have an ulterior motive too." Niel had said as coldly as he could while he averted his gaze to anywhere but you. He couldn't look at you. He would lose his resolve due to his selfishness and greediness.

"B–But." You started and Niel groaned. You were making it really hard for him at that moment. He thought that someone was watching so you put on that crying tone. 

"Don't make this harder for yourself. Just go." Niel tried to say snappily and stood up but when you reached out on impulse and grabbed his wrist, he froze.

The first time you'd initiated any skinship through your 'relationship' was when he was ending it for what he thought was the better.

'Yup, someone was definitely watching.' He thought bitterly and suppressed the urge to turn and sweep you up in his arms.

"I—I'm sorry." You choked out and Niel's mind blanked out.

He couldn't take it anymore. He had to go. His resolve was hanging by the thinnest thread and was about to snap. He had his own wave of tears coming and if you saw, he would never be able to show his face again.

He dashed off, tugging his wrist out of your hand and let the tears fall as he tried to convince aching heart that it was all a show and it was over. 

To convince his heart not to feel anymore than he already did.

He didn't catch your last words which left you sobbing hysterically on the bench at the back of the school as he thought bitterly to himself.

"I'm sorry too. I really am. Because i was greedy and i fell for you."

~✿❀

You were wrong when you said unrequited hurt the most. With it, at least one of you could try to change things.

But with forbidden love, it was terrifying. Even if you both loved each other, there wasn't a way you could both be together. Being so close yet so far. Being just within arms reach but not being able to reach out.

That is what truly hurts the most.

~✿❀

"Niel. I won't bother you again. Hate me. Go ahead. But i'll say this because i'm over it and you won't ever have to see me again. I liked you. I've liked you for a really long time. It wasn't part of the deal, i know. My bad. So, goodbye."

Niel gripped the steering wheel tighter, cursing himself for being the weak idiot he was.

He stopped behind a car and furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, the voice recording you had left him still ringing.

The traffic light was green, so what happened?

He spotted a guy squatting on the floor, panicking and unbuckled his seat belt hastily to help him.

He stopped short and stared at the guy who was hyperventilating and telling Niel to call an ambulance between breaths and he sub-consciously picked up his phone and dialled. 

He stumbled to the body and with shaking hands slowly moved to the female victim's veil of hair.

It couldn't be...

He shakily removed the girl's veil of hair and almost collapsed in relief as air found its way back to his lungs.

It wasn't you.

He turned around and stumbled a little, catching his breath.

He looked up and saw you staring straight at him and his eyes widened before he ran forward to talk to you but you took a step back.

"Since you're here. I'll make this clear. I've thought this through. In school, i'll go back to my life before i met you. Outside, we're strangers. Is that fine with you? It's my last request and i've never asked you for anything in my entire life so please..." You whispered and the pain was still evident in your eyes. Niel reached a hand out to grab yours, wanting just a touch he'd been craving so much for ages but you shoved him away, a hard look in your eyes.

"From this moment, we're nobody to each other. Go back to your girl. She's waiting." Your voice cracked halfway and you turned.

"I—I'm sorry! I didn't mean anything i said! I was lying to you and myse—" 

"Save it." 

Your heart was already in bits and pieces but somehow or rather, the broken parts seemed to break further as you said it.

You had had enough. Enough of matters of the heart. Enough of the hurt. Enough of the lies you fed yourself. Enough of living.

Becoming suicidal would be a cliche, wouldn't it? But this story is full of twisted cliches anyway.

~ ✿❀

"From this moment, we're nobody to each other. Go back to your girl. She's waiting." The words stung and they echoed in Niel's ears.

They cut so deep he didn't hear the ambulance arriving. He wasn't registering a single thought. 

"We're nobody to each other."

'No, you're everything to me. I wish you'd say the same about me.' Niel thought but being a coward, he couldn't say it. He couldn't chase after you. He didn't deserve you. 

And because of his cowardice, he never saw you again.