tuesday, why there must be a day named tuesday. the second day of the week to be exact.

 

"bad day huh?"

"shut up."

 

life is funny right? sometimes make people think they're on the top of the world before turning it upside down.

 

kwon mihee, she was a brilliant and bright student in her class, always laughing his prolblem off until today, 15th april, tuesday. it was supposed to be a good day before his classmate CheolSik decide to being a whiny over her exam paper and get caught and guess what? she earned 0 for today exam.

 

"'s happens ya' know?"

"eunjoon, stop it.."

"hey, 's happens to me too..."

 

mihee sighed.

 

"really, wanna die."

"don't... i can't help you."

"you're never really helping, Choi Eunjoon.."

"ouch that's hurt"

"what you do is only lecturing me... about life... and hell, you're just 4 month older than me! and you're not even in my campus!"

 

mihee snaps at her friend, annoyed.

eunjoon just sighed and smiles, she know her friend is gonna explode within minutes.

 

"this is ! life is ! being a 'happy' person is ! you don't know how much i want to tear them to shreads! i want to kill them when they annoyed me!"

"i know.. well today i cant tell you to be strong.. since that was CheolSik's fault.." eunjoon said.

"you... don't know joon... i really want to die... i want to quit! i'm sick! i hate this! feels like i want to find nearest cliff and just.. jump! arghhh!!"

 

eunjoon was just opened to say something when mihee beats her again.

 

"i believed in God, i did so many good things, just i forgive and forget, then why i need to go through all of this?!.... you know me right?... and all the things i've been through since i was little." mihee sighed.

 

eunjoon just smiled back at her bestfriend's frowny face.

 

"cheolsik doesn't even apologize! that er doesn't even apologize!..... i think it's a mistake to born as a 'nice' person, should just have be a bastard, maybe it will do.."

 

eunjoon sighed.

 

"hey, s happens... even if you're a saint.."

"i just want to be peace, joon... just... peace.."

"that's life, it's like sick-plot twist in a novel... and s are plague, they will cling on you like a parasite.. you can't avoid them.."

 

mihee sighed.

 

"you can, you avoid everything nicely joon..."

"nope... sometimes my problems that i avoid was hitting me more hard than it was hitting me on their first hit after I avoid them, and gain triple power when i avoid them again... so, since that time.. i need to man up, and face my problem! that's how i survived.."

 

mihee keep silent, and just sighed. turning her head to other direction, avoiding eunjoon's eyes.

 

"just you know, mihee.. being positive among negative is... so hard. and you're one of strong positive person i've ever met... you're fighting with so many negative things around you... you can still smiling and laughing, you laugh it off like the negatives around you is nothing... and that's your power... you don't know how much i wanted to be like you and s... because being me is mothering .."

 

eunjoon sighed when she got no response.

 

"and your only weakness is, you're easy to give up when you're tired of your smile... your mind start to play trick on you to turn you into a negative too..."

"you're careless, heartless.. that's mean painless.." mihee said unamused.

"there's a reason behind  me being careless, and heartless if u want to say that.... behind all curtains, there's something hidden, something that, everyone don't want to show it.."

"i know."

 

another silence filling up the air between the two, and eunjoon need to hold her breath, if she don't want to break down infront of her friend.

 

"useless... learning what i don't want to learn, and i don't want to do for future.. useless.... i wanted to be a singer, not stuck in this ty college where people just use me as a google..  so, unreasonable, i waste my time at that college, when i want to go to the gym. working! working!."

"he--"

"shut up! i'm not finish yet! i prayed! nothing happens! maybe not yet, but i'm sick of it!! i don't wan't to go to the college anymore!! i'm sick, i'm at the point where i really want to just die and leave all my problem behind!"

 

eunjoon try hard to not break.

 

"why, from all position... why i must stuck in this one?.. it's unfair! since i was a kid!.. other kid will just run away, do drugs, suicide and do other weird things! b--"

"then, why didn't you?... do drugs and all those weird thing?... why didn't you? what makes you different?.."  eunjoon asked looking down at her fingers.

 

silence.

 

"i.. don't know."

 

eunjoon smiled.

 

"sword... before it become a real sword.. it was just a metal with no shape... before it get sharp enought to kill people, it was dull, before it was strong enough to fight against other sword, it was melted and re-formed, again and again.."

 

mihee sighed.

 

"what's your point joon?.."

"my point is, you're the sword... you're not yet perfect.. and now you're going through all the process to be a perfect sword... don't give up.."

 

"nonsense." mihee rolled her eyes.

 

and eunjoon can do nothing but smile again.

 

"i've lived once mihee... and i regret to... you know can't continue my life like you... i wish i didn't jumped that day..."

 

mihee's eyes widened when eunjoon's voice start to fading out.

 

"joon?... EUNJOON AH!?"

 

she looked around just to find she's in the middle of darkness without her bestfriend infront of her.

 

 

"EUNJOON?!"

 

"don't give up mihee... now wake up... you need to go to work.. and remember, i'll always be right here to support you."

 

 

 

pats..

 

mihee jerked up in her bed looking around for her bestfriend. then she rubbed her face when she remember something.

 

eunjoon's death.... 5 years ago..

 

"exam paper... pft" mihee start to laugh when she remembered what makes her dreamed about it again.

 

she met cheolshik yesterday, where her hotel made an event, and that bastard come then brought up all the things and stupid memories of their past. and she was having a bad mood because some of her workers was lacking that day.

 

and without she knowing, her tears start to fall while she's laughing...

 

"i've lived once mihee... and i regret to... you know can't continue my life like you... i wish i didn't jumped that day..."

 

"then why did you jumped?.... stupid.."

 

***

 

"morning manager! nice sleep?!"

 

mihee smiled when her secretary greet her, and she nodded.

 

"very nice sleep and a very nice dream." mihee said laughing.

"really? is this about a guy manager nimm?~" asked her again.

"no.. eunjung-ah.. it was about my bestfriend, a girl." mihee smiled and start to checking all the data on her table.

"you must missed her so much! you should go and see her!"

"i will"

 

mihee smiled and continue her work with smile plastered on her face.

 

***

 

"hey stupid... i come... you dumb , why the hell you appeared in my dream.. you freaked me out." mihee laugh a bit then smile sadly.

"why did you jumped... why did you.... you're the one who always said that suicide is a coward's action... why did you jumped then?.."

"you know ho much i want to talk to you in person and make memories with you? play around, being silly around... your brother, seungjoon is a general now.. you should be proud... and our sensei--"

 

"mihee?"

 

mihee turn her head towards the voice she familiar with.

 

"sensei?..."

 

 

***

 

"so... she came to your dream too?"

"she said.. to be strong... yesterday my store was jacked... and i was so depressed... it was a very big loss" sojung said smiling.

"so... eunjoon right?.."

"yeah, so... eunjoon, that ..."

 

 

Rest In Peace.

Choi Eunjoon

beloved daughter, friends and lover.

1.04.1995 - 04.04.19

 

may you rest in peace in the arms of God.