Daehyun's POV:

Now, I admit that I am usually a really easygoing guy...

"Its nice to meet you, Daehyun-shi.  Youngjae-oppa, has told me so much about you!"

But this... I don't even have a clue on how to deal with.. This.

The girl was a lot shorter than I, with brown ringlets cascading down in pure elegance.  She had big, dark eyes framed in long lashes fluttering prettily up at me.  Her skin was flawless, something I felt slightly envious of, while wearing a clingy white Sun Dress.  It was hard to admit, but she was incredibly gorgeous.  Okay, Daehyun. Make this look as real as possible.  Trying not display my emotions was harder today.  Putting on my best smile, I struck out my hand in hello.

"Oh really..? I hope none of it was bad," I forced out a laugh. "Its nice to meet you, Heejin-shi."

She smiled, "Ah, actually, he wouldn't shut up about you. But they were all good things!"

"Heejin! Don't tell him that! Daehyun'll get a bigger head!"  Youngjae cried, exasperated at being caught.  Heejin's tinkling laugh followed.

Ouch. Really?? Thanks for sparing my ego.  I could feel my smile falter, but I brushed it aside. Youngjae and Heejin were poking at each other and laughing.  They were teasing each other and growing closer with each word.  His smile was so bright.. Yoo Youngjae was just so beautiful.  No, Daehyun. You need to get through this! Don't think about him.  Don't even spare a thought to the pain.

"Well, I have to go out to meet, Hyung.  So, I'll see you two later, yeah?"  I explained, pulling on my jacket from the coat-rack beside the door.  Youngjae frowned at the announcement.  "Didn't you need to tell me something?  What about dinner?  And anyway, we just got here!  We planned to have dinner altogether!" A slight pout adorned his face, his cheeks puffed out in frustration.  No matter how much my heart ached, the look still put a grin on my face.  I ruffled his dark brown hair. "Sorry.. What I was going to tell you, wasn't all that important.  But my brother said he really needed to see me, so I actually do have to go now." I turned back towards the girl with a half-hearted wave. "It was nice to meet you, Heejin-shi! Have a nice night!"  

"You too, Daehyun-Shi!" Heejin smiled that sparkly smile, my way.

With one last wave to the couple, I slipped on my shoes and exited the dorm.  It was like I couldn't get out of there fast enough.  The fake smile had long since slipped away, only to be replaced by clenched teeth.  My head pounded at the reality I had been slapped in the face with. Never had I felt so stupid!  I was already outside the dorm before I realized where I was heading off to.

Hold it in, Daehyun.  You're still too close.  Just a bit further.. He can't ever know.  My face was hot, even though the brisk January wind had my body shaking.  Or that could've been from my frustration and anger.  I was too far gone at this point to know for sure.

After walking quite a way, I trekked up the road that led up the mountain.  Despite the long journey, I hardly noticed a thing.  I just couldn't get away from the pain that threatened to drown me.  Images of Youngjae smiling cutely just wouldn't leave me be.  And then they all shattered when I pictured Heejin with him not so long ago.  It was total agony.

After what felt like hours, I finally made it to the top of the path that led to a clearing that overlooked the Seoul city view.  I felt a small surge of relief fill me up.  I walked a bit closer and planted myself on a secluded bench.  The area was clear of people, one or two at most passed by every once in awhile.  I tried to let the view of the city overwhelm my thoughts, to make me forget everything, even for a little while.. My heart wouldn't let me.  By then, the emotions were starting to claw at my insides and I felt a tear roll down my cheek.  Angrily, I scrubbed it away.  I would not cry!This is nothing Daehyun.  Its just a disappointment, that's all.

Neither I, or my body, believed my own words as more tears clouded my vision, "Damnit! Damnit, Daehyun! You are such an idiot!!"  I yelled at myself as the tears tried to spill out, but I was so bitter, I paid them no mind.  I kicked at the ground with my brows furrowed in distress.  Slapping my hands to my face, I fell to my knees then repeatedly punched the floor.  

"Why did you wait!? You !! He's gone! You freaking idiot..!" The insults I said hurt worse with each word.  Ugh, I hated crying. It wasn't me.  It pissed me off so much.  And yet, here I was! I'm such a fool for thinking that he might like me too... Why did they have look so good together?

The sun was starting to set, but I refused to go back now.  I wasn't ready to face him again. They would probably be cuddling  and making eyes at each other.  No.  There is no way in hell, that I would put myself through that torture right now.  That was just too much to deal with today.  Red drops of blood dripped down onto the dirt.  I looked down at my hands.  They were raw and more blood continued to flow down my knuckles.  I sighed.

Thank god today was a break.  I wouldn't have to worry about anyone noticing anything.  My throat ached for something to ease the thirst.. I could really go for a drink.

************************************

I tipped the bottle of Soju into my mouth, while I ignored the burning that went down my throat.  To tell you the truth, the sensation was very welcome right now, even with how bitter it was when I gulped it down and placed it down by my feet.  Gradually, the air surrounding the city view bench I sat down on got a lot colder, and as the trip to the closest convenience store had cut out the rest of my day, it was already dark.  All of the city lights twinkled off in the distance.  My breath came out in a slight fog, proving that spring was still not yet in our reach. The liquor helped me stay warm for the most part, but I pulled my jacket a bit closer to help block the wind.  Earlier, the breeze was calming; now it only seemed to pull me down to new lows.. My mind drifted to questions I've asked myself for years.

Why? Why, just why, did it have to be him? Why Yoo Youngjae, of all people??  Before he came into my life, I had had a couple of girlfriends that I certainly loved deeply.  They were wonderful girlfriends, despite the relationships not lasting.  And yet, soon after joining B.A.P, I found myself growing closer to him..  Liking him was, well, one of the hardest things I've ever had to admit to myself.. Nevertheless, every time he looked at me with those light brown eyes, my heart sped like it had never done before.  On