The thing about Taehyung and Hoseok is, that they’re both totally and utterly embarrassing. Top-of-the-line, Grace A, E-M-B-A-R-A-S-S-I-N-G. Potted plants weep when they open their mouths, and their cheesy romance novels turn the darkest shade of red known to mankind. One even wonders how they got into Big Hit, and it's still a wonder how Bang PD decided that they would be a good idea. Their existence itself causes the world to blush.

V and J-hope are however two completely different creatures from Taehyung and Hoseok. Still embarrassing, but their fail factor is knocked down by at least a hundred notches. Fangirls flock to them like bees to honey, and Jin will always complain about how unfair the world is, that he's the only one who's exactly the same as Seokjin and Jin. It somehow lands him in the awkward zone, when normally no one notices him and his awkwardness. (Suga would say no one notices him at all, but Jungkook will whack him on the head. He’ll still be upset in his little mind corner complaining forever.)

That's okay, they'll just send Jungkook out to cheer him up and world peace will resume.

Today is another day full of stupidity and embarrassing fails, and Suga evacuates the practice room noting Code Red (High levels of stupidity and face palm worthy moments detected. Evacuate immediately.) It's painfully obvious, noting their Very Serious Argument voices and stuffed lion sitting between them. Suga cannot even imagine how dumb it must be, so he flees to the next room ASAP. Smart guy.

Jimin, however, is not so lucky. Taehyung spies him as he tries to slink out to the next practice room, grabbing him by the arm and dragging a kicking and screaming jimin into the room. That alien is ridiculously strong when idiocy is involved, as too many Bangtan members have learned the hard way.

"Stuffed lions need daily hugs right?"

"No, stuffed lions need sewn on abs!"

Jimin wants to facepalm, but taehyung and hoseok are clinging onto him tighter than koala bears.

"They don't need daily hugs, and they definitely don't need sewn on abs and why is this even a problem?" He really wants to cry. Bang PD had never included inhumane levels of stupidity in his contract. Isn’t that intentionally withholding important information?  He should go and lobby for a raise, no amount of cash is enough to compensate the death of his gray matter. He holds a minute of silence for sanity, while listening under threat of force to their stupid argument. Turns out they were having a tea party (which self-respecting guys hold tea parties for stuffed animals?) for the stuffed creatures and they were playing the role of the stuffed lion before they started fighting. Because Taehyung cannot understand why stuffed lions need abs ( Well, neither can he. Aren't his abs enough for the fans?) and Hoseok cannot understand why stuffed lions need daily hugs (And neither can he. Does Taehyung not understand inanimate? Not alive? Dead dead dead?)

More importantly, he can't understand why those two can't just agree and stop blowing this up into a he-just-doesn't-understand-me session.(Even though he has no idea how anyone can understand those two. That’s why they’re a match made in heaven.) The amount of stupidity here is painful. All he wants is a peaceful practice room free of dumb. Is that too much to ask for?

While they bicker on emotionally about poor stuffed lion and how they love stuffed lion more than the other, Jimin sees a familiar tuft of hair stick through the door. Saved.

"Namjoon-hyung!" He calls brightly.

"NAMJOONIEE-HYUNGIEEEE"

The two echo, releasing their death grips on his biceps and rushing forward to grab at Namjoon. Jimin slinks out stealthily, letting their poor leader get stuck with those two. Leader responsibilities, he decides. Cheering as he leaves the room, he finds Suga who has stationed himself in the next practice room composing peacefully. Or as peacefully as one can while those two are going at it again, over a stuffed lion no less.

“Ten bucks Namjoon will resolve the problem in five minutes.” Suga grins.

“Ten bucks he won’t.” Jimin flops down on the floor, completely spent by the two idiots. It’s a problem so stupid even Namjoon won’t be able to handle so fast.

“Never bet against the house, Jiminnie.”

Namjoon who tried to run has been captured. Sighing deeply, he listens to those two fight over a stuffed lion. He can feels his dyed white hair turning whiter by the minute. As the leader, however, he has to resolve this conflict before the managers come back or he may end up scolded for being a bad leader. Whatever that means.

“So what is the stuffed lion really?” He asks. They talk like the stuffed lion is alive and has feelings, and those two people are just really weird. Who knows, maybe the lion represents something ( like their perfect and dysfunctional relationship).

“Hoseok.”

“Me.”

The two look at each other, blinking before starting to fight once again. Looks like they both though it was a secret that they thought the stuffed lion was Hoseok, whatever that means. He can’t even say he’s surprised, even though Taehyung always claims that the lion resembles him, Namjoon really knows he only bought the lion because the store was out of unicorns. (And no, he did not think a real horse was better.)

“Wait. So maybe Taehyung just saying he wants to hug you everyday and Hoseok wants to become stronger to protect you or something?” He can feel a headache coming on already. Why can’t his bandmembers be more straightforward and less weird, really. What did he do wrong in his past life? Kick stray puppies?

Both of them go silent. Namjoon wants to throw them off the building, he must have been right all along. Why can’t those two just say what they mean? Save everybody a couple of IQ points, please!

“You idiot, you don’t need to get abs. You’re strong enough already.” Taehyung pouts, before cozying up to Hoseok.

“You’re dumber. I’m just here, you can just ask.” Hoseok loops his arms over Taehyung’s waist.

“AWWWWW” Jin sobs manly tears from the doorframe where he and Jungkook are peeking in, and Namjoon thinks he should really call a team meeting. Why does he always have to be the one resolving all these issues of idiocy? He must have lost the ability to feel embarrassed already. Jimin’s not the only one who needs a pay rise, he needs one too.  

 “Romance is so gross.” Jungkook says, making a fake retching noise.

“Get out.” Taehyung growls from Hoseok’s arms.

“You and Jin are twenty times worse.” Hoseok chimes, before cooing over his baby.

“No, we’re just sweet.” Jungkook sticks out his tongue as Jin ruffles his hair.

“Be right back, tearing my eyes out. “ Namjoon quickly leaves, the amount of pink in that room has skyrocketed to disgusting levels. Time to write a “love makes people dumb” song.   

From the next room, Jimin and Suga can hear Jin’s loud cooing. Suga turns the stopwatch off and smirks.

“Four minutes and thirty-nine seconds. Gimme ten bucks.”

Jimin groans and passes him the cash. “How the hell do you know these kinds of things? “

“It’s simple. Those idiots just want to kiss and make up sooner or later. And being idiots, they don’t understand later.”

“And thus the world is once again filled with peace, love and butterflies.” Jin declares when all seven of them finally assemble in the practice room once again.

“Until tomorrow.” Jungkook says.

Namjoon groans. He’s going to talk to Bang PD about that pay rise soon. 

A/N: If this ended up sillier than expected, I blame it on BTS.