I sigh for nth time today. It seems, I haven't been improving ever since I don't know when.The statues as "Main Vocal" might not be a good term to use now. My tone isn't as perfect I want it to be. Yes, I want my skills to be perfect. That is what the audience wants; perfection.

'Why did Wonshik choose me to help him with his self-composed songs' is a question that I wouldn't be able to answer myself. My voice is not in a great condition these days but Wonshik will keep saying, "hyung you did great as always", making me blush a little. I always respond his negatively saying I am not as great as Taekwoon.

Wonshik would always frown saying that if I keep comparing myself with Taekwoon, he will stop planting me with kisses. Sometimes I think that Wonshik keeps complimenting me because I am his precious but he will always objects saying that, "I am working with my composer spirit and as a composer, your voice is perfectly beautiful"

I could only thank him countless times making me feel good about myself. The truth is that ... I never feel great about myself ever. I would bury myself in the self practice room and cry for an hour or two if I am not satisfied with myself. I had never been found or maybe once by Wonshik. It is always Wonshik who found me. Wonshik is the one who let me bury my face in to his chest and whisper small compliments about me. Because of Wonshik, I am actually still called as "VIXX's Cute Main Vocal".

When I have my moments, someone else who loves Wonshik has his moments too. He wouldn't silently observe us from a far and giving piecrcing glares as if I did a sin to deserve. 'Do I even derserve Kim Wonshik?' is another question that pops most of the time.

Hongbin, Wonshik's best friend and artwork, had a crush on him ever since he step in to the practice room. Hongbin trusted me ... trusted. He told me everything even though I am one of the lastest trainee compared to the rest. Hongbin describe me as a his home because most of the time, he would feel comfortable talking to me about almost anything. Maybe not now ...

It was really the night before debut where Wonshik suddenly misses his sister and wanting me to sleep by his side. Somehow me and Wonshik had that relationship where we need each other when we are in pain. I thought it was a normal sleeping time but it turn out to be a confession night.

Wonshik look at me in the eye saying that he truly loves me and wanting to be by my side forever making it sound cliqué but my mind was running wild with the thoughts of Hongbin. 'What if Hongbin finds out? What if Hongbin hates me? What if.. What if...' The what if questions keep taunting me the whole time while listening to Wonshik melodious confession.

I can't be selfish to myself right? I love Kim Wonshik too ever since I exchange eye contact the first time I met him for practice. Wonshik is nice to me - heck - he was the only one being nice to me the first time. Even th