Trading Yesterdy - May I

 

Jung Eunji trust no one. Not even her friends. She will never tell them about her painful secret. Infront of them, she's a wonderful, cheerful and admired by men around her. But at night, her true feelings surface. "Good morning, sunshine!" the small-eyed guy appear infront of her table. She flash him her wide smile.

"Someone looks happy here." she pay her attention at him. He went closer at her.

"Because you look so beautiful today." her heart beating fast. She hit his arm to bring her mind to reality. Hell no! A gentleman like him will always said that to the other woman in this office. 

"Yeah, right! Back to your seat, Mr.Kim." she pushed him lightly. He let out a small laugh which sounds so melodious in her ears. She cotinued doing her reports. Suddenly, her phone ringing. "Hello?" 

"Ms.Jung? It's me, Dr.Park." 

"Oh! Doctor! What can I help you?" 

"I already got your health result." 

"R..really?"

"Do you want to meet up or I should just tell you now?"

She look at her messy table. Papers here and there, totally not a perfect time to talk. "Umm...I will come to the hospital after lunch."

"Okay. See you. Take care." with that, she hung up. She can't thinking straight after call. How much time she had left to live in this world? Her reports were ! She throw the papers into the basket. This thing can make her head crash in pieces! 

 

 

The clock shows 2 p.m. Mean it's lunch time. She doesn't have an appetite to eat so she decide to drive straight to meet Dr.Park. Her other co-workers already went out 10 minutes early so, only Eunji and three others left. "Eunji-ya, can you buy some hotdogs to me? I don't think I can go out. These reports is killing me." her friend, Yoon Bomi put aside the papers and open up the new file. Eunji smile at her cute little clumsy friend.

"Okay. Happy working." she bid her goodbye. While waiting for the elevator, she scrolled down her twitter. Wihtout she realize, the door already open.

"Are you going to stand there forever or get in?" she lift her head. Kim Sunggyu stare at her in curiousity. She quickly enter. 

"Sorry." she muttered. He chuckled. The atmosphere keep on silent until he clearing his throat to talk.

"Let's lunch together." 

Her eyes widen. But she had an appointment. Damn it, Eunji. You lost a golden chance. "I don't have a heart to eat, Sunggyu. I have a thing to do."

"Seriously, Ms.Jung? You're trying to skip your lunch? No, no. You have to have your lunch, Eunji. You may sick." 

"I'm still full with my breakfast and i'm not going to sick." she said while cutely punched his upper arm. He still look at her with a straight face.

"But..."

"No buts, Sunggyu. Only today I will skip my lunch. Don't worry. Oh, can you buy a hotdog? Bomi told me to bring it for her but i don't think i can make it in time. Thank you." she went out as soon as the door open. Before she exit the building, Sunggyu pull her wrist. 

"Do you want me to buy some food?" he still didn't give up to make her fill out her stomach. She shook.

"No. Save your money." she pat his hand. He let go of her hand and watch her drove away from his view.

 

*knock knock*

"Come in." Eunji heard Dr.Park's cute voice. She pop in her head and smile to the woman with a long straight hair with bang. 

"Hello, Doc." she bow and take her seat.

"How much time should I told you to stop call me in a formal way?" Dr.Park crossed her arms. Eunji and Dr.Park or her full name is Park Chorong is like a siblings. Eunji often went to her to have her monthly checkups.

"Ah...unnie." she scratched her head. Chorong sweetly smile. Satisfied with it. "So, what is the result?" Chorong's face turn serious. She take out the envlope from the drawer. 

"Here." she handed Eunji the paper from the envelope. As Eunji read it, she close with her palm. "Your brain cancers are in red code, Eunji. I suggest you to undergo a surgery before it brings you to death." Eunji's tears starting to drop and make the paper wet. 

"I don't want to die..." she sobbing hard while buried her face in in her palms. Watching her like that, Chorong get up and rub her back.

"Then, sign this agreement, Eunji. Your live is on the line. I don't want to see your little brother cry like you did now." Chorong hold her wrists "Please. As a sister. Don't give up. I will try my best to help you." Eunji look at the older one's eyes. It's her first time watching Chorong cried. Slowly, she nodded. 

"I will, unnie." Chorong hug her tight. She love Eunji so much since she didn't have any siblings. Eunji is one of her happiness factors.

Twenty minutes later, she's done with her surgery arrangement time. The clock shows 2.50 p.m. Ten minutes before her lunch time ends. When she exit from the room,  "You have a brainn cancer?" she saw Sunggyu lean at the wall right beside the room. She gasped. What is he doing here? Did he followed her?

"S...Sunggyu...what are you doing here?" he come closer. 

"I can't hold myself from wanting to know what so important of your appointment that makes you skip your lunch." he take her hand and rub it with his thumb "How long did you suffer this disease?" 

"What is wrong with you?" Eunji let her hand go from his. 

"Just ing tell me, Eunji!" this time, he grasped her hand tighter. 

"2 years ago." his jawdropped. She look down. There. Her secret that she have been keep from her friends discovered by Sunggyu which she didn't really close.

No wonder Eunji often had a headaches. She always forgetting words and many other symptoms that now he realize "Why you didn't tell me?"

"Why should I? You don't have right to know about me."

"I do have right, Jung Eunji. I love you. I care about you." finally Sunggyu confessed of what he had keep for 3 years. He got strucked by her beauty since she start her work at Dream Coperation. Her innocence make his lips curve into a smile. Having a little skinship with her feels like butterly tickling his tummy. He know that she sometimes cry quietly when she was alone at the pantry. Once, he saw a plastic which full with pills. He got so shocked and mad at himself for not expecting she had this serious disease. 

Eunji let herself being pulled into his embrace. She can hear his heart beating fast "Please keep it secret." she cried. He nodded. 

"Promise me one thing." seeing her not giving reaction, he continued "Let me taking care of you." she lift her head.

"No, Sunggyu. It will be burdensome to you. Don't." 

"You think i'm going to let you went through this alone? You need someone to give you hope and I will be your hope. I love you, Eunji. I don't care whether you love me or not." he put his palm on her rosy cheeks. She smile weakly.

"Looks like it's not a one-sided love." she grinned widely. He heave a relief sigh. Without he realize, his tears rolling on his chubby cheeks. He hug her once again. It's rare for Kim Sunggyu being this emotional because of a girl. Jung Eunji makes him feel afraid. Afraid of losing her.

 

Eunji quit her job last two days. She's getting weak day by day and that makes Sunggyu worried even more. He will visit everyday after his work time is over. Today, he bought her a vitamin drinks. "I told you, i'm okay." Eunji went to the kitchen to cook a dinner for them. He didn't fight back. He never want to pick up a fight with her. He watch her movements. She looks so weak and pale. It hurts him seeing her suffer. 

"You're getting skinnier." he muttered but she can heard it. 

"I don't think so." she replied. form a sweet smile. Gosh, Eunji...you're such a strong girl. You're sick yet you can still smile like nothing happens.

He hug her from aback. She stopped her doings and place her hands on his. He drag her to the couch and let her sit on his lap "I'm not hungry." he lean on her back. She giggled. "I miss you." he added.

"We meet everyday, honey. Why would you miss me?" she broke the hug and sit next to him. 

"Because you're not with me all the time." 

She lay on her shouder. "But i'm always in here." she tap his shoulder. He take her hand and interwhine with his. He miss her during the day but got cured at night. "Can you sleepover here?" she look at him with her puppy eyes. 

 

He let her lay her head on his arm. Her body completely secure in his embrace. There they are. On the bed, in each other embrace that he's been wishing for. He heard her cute snore. He brushes his nose with hers. She move a little. Maybe she felt ticklish with his action. He smile watching her beautiful face facing him. He can stare her for so long tonight. He didn't need to dream anymore. She is his dream.

"I'm afraid..." he heard Eunji muttered. 

"Eunji?" she didn't answered. Sleep talking. He her hair to make her sleep tight. 

Heart beats harder
Time escapes me
Trembling hands
Touch skin
It makes this harder
And the tears stream down my face

 

That morning, when he open his eyes, she still in his arms. He can feel her hot breath breathing at his chest. Her body is hotter. "Eunji?" he shakes her body. Silent. Without trying for the second time, he lift her in bridal style and take her to the hospital. 

The nurses already wait for Sunggyu and Eunji at the main entrance. They tae out Eunji and rushes her to the operation room. According to Chorong, Eunji's operation should be yesterday. Once again, he mad at himself. How come he being so careless? 

"Eunji, stay strong. I'm her for you. Always." he said as the thingy moving fast. He heard she groaned in pain. She give him a smile.

"I...love...you, sweetheart." she said in her hard breath. 

"I love you too." he kissed at the back of her hand. 

"Sir, you have you have to wait outside." the nurse said. He stop his pace and leave her fate on God. 

 

Four hours passed by, Chorong came out. He quickly approach her "How's Eunji, Dr.Park?" Chorong smile watching his care towards Eunji. 

"She's in a stable condition. Not all brain operations become this successful. She's such a strong person. You may visit her but don't push her with a lot of questions. She still need to rest. I'll be back in a minutes to check on her." Chorong pat his back.

"Thank you." he bow and run to her ward. He enter the ward and saw her still in her deep sleep. His heart hurt seeing the wire here and there in her body. He rub her cheeks "You're the greatest person, Eunji." he kissed her forehead, down to her nose then, her softy lips. It feels like electric went through his body when his lips touching hers. Her fingers moving. He watch her in amaze. Her eyes slowly open and looking around. "Jagiya..." he squeeze her hand.

"Where am i?" she still trying to fight the dizzyness. 

"You're at the hospital. You safe, Eunji." 

She look at him "Who are you?" she look at him blankly. That moment is like a slap to him. She loss her memory. His heart feels like wanting to pop out. "What is this..." she look at her arms. 

"Eunji..."

"W..who?" suddenly, Chorong barge in. 

"Doc, she..."

"It's the side effect of the surgery." Chorong who is like already know what will Sunggyu say. "Her memory going to improve with times." he look at Eunji which seems confuse of what happen around her. "Come on,  Mr.Kim. You can do it. Eunji sacrifice her life. You should do the same. Make her remember of your memories." 

His tears rolling down. He hug Eunji tightly. She didn't know what to do. Yes, he will sacrifice his time and energy just to bring back her memory. She suffered enough. 

 

Don’t say that you’re sorry. Love isn’t over for me yet. It’s okay even if it’s a painful love. Even if I erase the last love in my life. You are someone that cannot be erased. Even if it’s a sad destiny, I can’t let you go. I love you because it’s you.