Because we all hate tragic endings.

 

~*~

 

December 19, 2014

 

"You look really beautiful."

 

My father's voice echoed around the halls of this small Church chamber. I looked up to find him approaching me. He looked worried, yet his worried heart was appeased at the sight of my smiling face.

 

"Thank you appa."

 

"Where did it hurt? Are you okay?"

 

"It does not hurt anymore," I assured him.

 

I gave everyone a false alarm. I already sacrificed the tradition of going down the bridal car, and heading straight to walk the aisle. On the way to the Church, I felt my head spin. I was nauseated by excitement, by nervousness. I couldn't believe that after the months of sufferings, of pains, of sacrifices, finally I was being driven towards my happy ending. The idea of marrying the love of my life caused my head to spin round and round. So the driver stopped. I was rushed inside the chamber. My family panicked. Yet they made sure to keep the events from the groom, who was only told the bridal car encountered a traffic jam.

 

I wanted to get up to meet my father's eyes, yet he didn't allow me too. Instead, he pulled a chair and came close to me.

 

"I'm sorry my child. I'm sorry that--"

 

"Stop it appa," I cut him, holding on to his neck. "I don't want you blaming yourself anymore. This is all what He wanted, so we should not put blame on anyone or anything, and let's just accept what is."

 

Appa held on to my hand that was holding him, and he cried a little. I allowed him to silently tear up. Slowly, he pulled my face and kissed me forehead, embracing me after.

 

"You're very kind. It's no wonder that the man out there would do anything for you."

 

I smiled at him, and said, "Please forgive yourself appa. That's my one and only request from you."

 

"I ruined you--"

 

"You gave me life. You never ruined me, please don't think like that."

 

He cried harder and just embraced me tighter. I was already crying with him.

 

"I miss you already Taeyeon," he cried out, caressing my back as he put me in his chest, holding me tighter.

 

"I will just be miles away. I would not be gone forever. You and mom can always visit, and we will always visit you too. It'll be like I am never away."

 

"How can I sleep at night when you're far away? I don't want to live without you anymore. I can't stand waking up without you, always worrying about you."

 

"I'm a grown up now appa. Rest easy that now I'm chasing my real dream, a dream that wouldn't hurt me. Like you let me go ten years ago when I wanted to be SNSD, let me go today too because I want to be Jiyong's wife."

 

That's when I got up from his chest, and stared at him. His face got sadder as we looked at each other. I just took his two hands and held on them tight.

 

"Jiyong's a great man. I can never find a better man to take care of you."

 

"What did I ever do to have two grown men love me this much?" I asked my father rhetorically, putting his two hands under my chin, wetting them with my tears.

 

"Make that three. Have you forgotten there's another man who would die for you?" another man's voice said.

 

My father and I both looked towards the door, watching Kim Jiwoong walk towards us. He was handsome as dapper in his white and grey tuxedo.

 

"Oppa..."

 

"Here's your anti-nausea medicine," he said, handing me the pill bottle he was tasked to get from the car. I took it, immediately taking it and drinking from the glass of water my father handed me.

 

"Wear this sis," my brother said, putting out a silver bracelet and unlocking it.

 

"What's this?"

 

"It's nothing fancy."

 

"It's beautiful," I answered, watching my brother wear the jade bracelet around my wrist. I heard him sniff a little, and I was sure my elder brother was also crying.

 

"The bride and the mother are supposed to cry, not the father and brother," Kim Hayeon teased, entering the Church chamber with our mother. She was a beautiful Maid of Honor in a purple tube dress.

 

"How are you feeling? Is there any pain still?" umma asked, sitting down beside me and feeling my temperature by touching my head. She also fixed some of my hair that flew away.

 

"Nothing I can't bear. I can live through any pain if that means I'm getting my happy ending with Jiyong."

 

My mom cried after what I said. She had been so emotional after ever since she learned that Kwon Jiyong proposed to me, asking me to marry him again. She became the happiest, the most excited. And she always cried throughout the wedding preparations. She cried right now too, and she held on my face with her two hands.

 

"You two are so young to have experienced that amount of pain. But that's all behind us now. Today, the Holy Spirit will cleanse all the wounds, the scars, the pains, away. Today, God will bless you and your family."

 

My father choked at the sound of Jiwon's name. He also shook his head as her wares up, still holding my hands.

 

"Beautiful Jiwon. I can't forget the beautiful look on her face when I first saw her. You could tell she took after her mom," he said.

 

"But she was given Jiyong oppa's hazelnut eyes," Hayeon commented, also slowly tearing up. At the sight of my family's tears, I felt just as emotional. I remembered my sweet child, my beautiful and brave child.

 

"I miss Jiwon. I miss her so much," I emotionally muttered, crying at the touch of my parents. "I wonder how she is. Is she healthy? Is she happy? Is she crying?"

 

My mother embraced me and consoling, "God is with her, no matter where she goes. But this moment, this hour, it's all about you."

 

"Hello everyone," a soft voice of an elderly woman greeted, cutting the emotional moment. When we looked to our left, we saw that the elegantly dressed mother of the groom stood up by the chamber door.

 

"Hi Kwon umma, come on in," I invited. She entered the chamber, followed by the beautiful Kwon Dami. Unnie said, "How's our blushing bride? Are you still feeling dizzy?"

 

"I'm feeling better unnie. I can't wait to talk down the aisle."

 

But just before she closed the door, I heard the collective cheering of the guests outside. When their clapping died down, I heard the faint voice of someone speaking over the microphone.

 

"Thank you for being with our family today. You're all people we love dearly, and it warms my heart to know that you're here to celebrate with us. Because today is nothing short of a celebration. Today is all for Taeyeon and Jiwon."

 

"What's going on? Why is everyone cheering? Who's talking?" I asked the new arrivals.

 

"As usual, your husband's being too hard on himself and telling the world about it. I don't know where my brother gets his gooey lines you know."

 

"What do you mean? What did Jiyong do?"

 

"He got cheesy, that's what," Dami replied.

 

"Dami, give your brother a break. He only loves our beautiful Taeyeon so much," Kwon umma defended her son, and the more I listened, the more I made out Jiyong's voice from the sea of cheering audience. But as I moved my head more, I felt the dizziness more.

 

"You look like you're still in pain. Are your wounds throbbing?" my mother asked, face filled with worry.

 

"It's still quite painful."

 

I lied. It was really painful. It wasn't just the anxiety or wedding jitters that brought about my nausea. It was also my surgery wounds, lining up my entire navel area down to my pelvic zone. And on top of the wounds, my region also gave me an uncomfortable aching. After giving birth to Jiwon, I have never been without the irritable pain from my waist down. It was one of the pains of surviving such a terrible accident.

 

"What? Then sit down!" my father demanded, because I forced myself up to head towards the door.

 

I wanted to hear Jiyong's voice. No matter how cheesy, I wanted to hear what he had to say to our guests. Whatever he was going to say, I was sure it would ail my aching lower body. I closed my eyes and forced myself to bear the pain of standing up.

 

"Just breathe in and out," Jiwoong oppa advised, coming to my aid when he saw me intent on walking.

 

"I want to listen to what Jiyong has to say," I told them, slowly reaching for the door.

 

It would be a tedious walk, but I knew that with Jiwoong oppa, I could manage. I just badly wanted Jiyong's sweet words to lessen the pain of my body.

 

"Just turn the TV on Hayeon, it shows the whole shot of the Church stage. There's an audio visual of the entire thing," my father suggested, and Hayeon obeyed him. He then told my brother, "Get your sister some water. Her pain medication was left in the car too."

 

With that, my brother left to get the things that would make me feel better. But now, my eyes became buried on the television set that showed everything happening outside. Jiyong was on the stage, very handsome, very classy, and just beautiful, with his pure white tuxedo and his jet-black hair.

 

"On that night, it was fated that we would dance together, drink together, laugh together, sleep together, and wake up together. Because of our drunkenness, our brokenness, our desperation to escape our heartaches, we slept together, bringing about a life inside her. Kwon Jiwon. Our sweet and beautiful Jiwon."

 

"I can't breathe," I helplessly muttered as I watched the love of my life on the screen. Even if he was not live in person in front of me, my jaw couldn't help but drop because of the perfection that was Kwon Jiyong.

 

"Oh my God, someone call the doctor!" my mother reacted, and I found her and the Kwon women panic around me.

 

"I don't think unnie means it literally," Hayeon explained, understanding very well what I meant.

 

Without taking my eyes off of the screen, I muttered, "I can't breathe. I love him so much that I can't breathe."

 

"Who would have thought, right? G-dragon from YG. Kim Taeyeon from SM. GD from Big Bang. Taengoo from SNSD. It was the most unlikely pairing. We were polar opposites, from the two ends of the world, from different backgrounds."

 

"You're sweating Taeyeon. How painful is it?" Kwon umma asked, coming to my aid and wiping the sweat off my forehead.

 

"It doesn't matter," was all I replied, my eyes and ears still glued on Jiyong.

 

"Call your Aunt Choi Hayeon. She's in the front pew with the principal sponsors," mom directed Hayeon, and she disappeared the very next second. After her, she shouted, "Don't let your Jiyong oppa see you dear! Be calm and subtle!"

 

"She's shaking. It must be really painful," worried Kwon umma, again wiping the sweat off of me.

 

"Yet how come we met that night? How come we became friends that night? How come we planned our future that night?

 

After a while, my brother came back, once again carrying things I needed. He came to me and said, "Here's some water, and here's the medicine."

 

"Can you walk down the aisle?" Dami unnie asked me, helping me take the pain relief pill.

 

"I don't think so. We have a wheelchair in the van. Let's get it son. I can't let her walk in this condition," my father said. I felt bad for my brother, who gladly ran all sorts of errands for me. Just as they were about to open the door to leave...

 

Knock. Knock. Knock. The chamber door revealed two unexpected guests.

 

"Hello there. We just wanted to see the beautiful bride."

 

"Hi best. How are you feeling?"

 

Kim Heechul, who was dapper in his grey groomsmen tuxedo, and Hwang Miyoung, who was pretty in her purple Maid of Honor gown, came to check on me in the Church chamber. As they opened the door, Jiyong's voice became louder and clearer.

 

"In this is Taeyeon's handwriting. Her messy penmanship covered my first Lamborghini's registration and insurance documents."

 

"What's going on Aunt Kim?" worried Tiffany, whose happy face changed for anxiety when she saw Kwon umma wiping my sweat and fanning me.

 

"She's in pain, but she wouldn't budge," my mother responded.

 

With that, my best friends Tiffany and Heechul came closer to me, kneeling down in front of me. They each took one of my hands, smiling kindly while talking to me.

 

"Hi best. Have you been listening? Oppa's being awfully romantic, isn't he?"

 

"I love him so much Steph," I openly cried my helplessness because of my love for Kwon Jiyong.

 

"I know."

 

"Jiyong is redefining the term romantic, making it more difficult for all of men," Heechul oppa joked, always his sarcastic self. "We all regret bringing our girlfriends here. They're getting ideas from him, and are expecting so much from us."

 

I chuckled at them, yet I just cried harder so that Tiffany had to dry my cheeks.

 

"I can't believe I lived. I can't believe I can still love him longer. I can't believe we were given this second chance to marry, for real. I can't believe any of this."

 

Tiffany teared up too, and she squeezed my hand, saying, "Here's your happy ending best. I'm so happy for you and Jiyong oppa."

 

And in the screen, Jiyong continued, "On the same night we danced and drank together, we wrote this silly document we called a Scandal Contract."

 

"How can he embarrass me like this?" I wondered, chortling, in disbelief that Jiyong would tell the background of our silly Scandal Contract.

 

"So embarrass him too. I bet you his vows are more revealing than this monologue," Heechul suggested.

 

"I need to rewrite my vows. How can I beat his show of romance?"

 

"That's easy best. Just say what's in there," Stephanie pointed her index finger on my chest. "That Scandal Contract isn't just for him to talk about. It's your handwriting. It's also your story."

 

But Kwon Jiyong was doing a very great job telling the people we loved our story. "For a long time, we didn't realize that we just planned the next years of our lives to the littlest details through this contract on the same night we first danced, drank, and slept together."

 

"We got the wheelchair. Can you help us carry her Heechul?" my father asked, and Heechul oppa immediately stood up to assist.

 

"It's time to walk down the aisle. The ceremony's in five minutes. Thankfully, Jiyong's dramatic monologue seem to be almost over," Kwon Dami reminded everyone, and when we heard the people outside clap the loudest and the longest, we thought Jiyong's storytelling was completed.

 

"You mean romantic monologue unnie?" Tiffany corrected, also standing up from the ground.

 

"How can you marry such a cheesy bloke? My brother got lucky you can stand him, aish!"

 

"Let's go Taeng, just take my hand and I'll carry you," Heechul offered, and in front of me, my brother, and appa were lined up to assist him. But I shook my head.

 

"I want to walk."

 

"No! You're in pain," my father refused. When Jiyong never left the stage, when he continued talking, I felt even more in need to walk towards him.

 

"The Higher Power intended for me to meet her while I was stupid, reckless, and selfish, because she would be the one to have changed me."

 

My mother explained, "You can't stretch yourself too much as you're still severely wounded--"

 

"What's going on? Are you alright?" finally, my doctor Aunt Choi arrived with Hayeon, checking on me as soon as she got ahold of me.

 

"I want to walk down the aisle for Jiyong," I told my aunt.

 

Umma asked her, "Can she do it Jiwoo? She's in pain, she's been sweating and shaking for hours now.”

 

"Did you take your antibiotics and pain medication this morning?" aunt asked.

 

"Yes auntie."

 

For a moment, she thought silently, observing my heartbeat and checking on my wounds.

 

"Her wounds are now four months old. I think Taeyeon can manage a five minute walk on that aisle."

 

Although worried, the parents who doted on me finally allowed me to do as I willed. With everyone's help, I managed to stand up and walk towards the door.

 

"Alright, let's do this unnie. We're all just here," Hayeon encouraged.

 

Tiffany added, "This is it Taeyeon. This is your happy ending. From here on, everything will be filled with nothing but absolute happiness."

 

"Just keep holding my hand sis. Oppa will never let go."

 

"And hold appa's hand too my dear child."

 

With my brother and my father assisting me on each of my side, I felt more secured and comfortable. Jiyong's voice still echoed in my ears as he continued to narrate our story. So even if it was difficult, uncomfortable, painful, Jiyong's words provided me relief, strength, to walk towards him with God as our witness.

 

"She and Jiwon changed me. Because of them, I learned the true meaning of responsibility, family, and most of all, true love. Taeyeon will always be my one and only true love."

 

~*~

 

July 22, 2014

KIM TAEYEON BRAVES EMERGENCY C-SECTION

1. [+18,372 / -2,345] I'm crying, I'm laughing, and I’m like a lunatic who doesn't know what to truly feel. I prayed every single night for her to live on. I don't care if she sings again, or hides from the public forever. Just knowing she's alive is more than enough for me. Thank You, for letting her live. I regret turning my back when she needed me the most. But from here onwards, I am proud to say that I have been a Sone for eight years because of you, Kim Taeyeon. Live healthy. Love happily. And I'm always here.

 

July 22, 2014

PUBLIC ADMIRES SM TOWN AND YG FAMILY LOYALTY

1. [+15,144 / -1,738] With all the media grandstanding and circus that's happening, one thing is for certain: Taeyeon and Jiyong have formed unbreakable bonds with their members and friends. SM Town's SNS posts, SNSD's video logs in their personal YT accounts, Big Bang's interviews, and even the old bullies sending their prayers, I admire all their friendship amidst the public hatred.

 

July 25, 2014

SM AND YG DENY SNSD9 AND BIGBANG5

1. [+10,092 / -1,019] With the amount of emotional trauma they had to go through, I don't think either would have the desire to even go back to their old profession. The media almost killed Taeyeon. The public's cruelty led to their child's pain. I wouldn't be able to look at a camera ever again of that happened to my family. I would understand the two of them hiding forever. Even if it's a loss to our generation for G-dragon to stop writing songs, or for Taeyeon to stop singing, I would respect them if they decide to stop here.

 

~*~

 

July 21, 2014

 

"We're losing her doc!"

 

More panicked shouts filled my ears. The professionals around me announced my lab results for the entire operating room to hear. They said my heartbeat rate was dropping and that I was losing so much blood. From the sound of it, I would soon die. But I felt nothing. I only felt like I was floating somewhere, existing but not living. I didn't even feel the good doctor holding my hand, yet vaguely saw her doing so. With her face appearing in front of me, she talked.

 

"Mommy Taeyeon, I need you to hold for me. Please hold on, hang in there, and we'll get you through this!"

 

"I can't hear the baby doc!" a female shouted.

 

Another set of professionals screamed machine readings, but this time of my child’s. That was the first time I felt something while I floated like this. I felt intangible pain. From what the machine read, the baby had less chances of living than I did.

 

"This won't feel a thing mommy," the doctor shouted from my bottom. She was operating on my stomach, and I was fully awake for all of it. Yet I couldn't feel anything tangible. "This is all for our sweet baby Jiwon, okay? Just hold on Taeyeon."

 

But I couldn't hold on anymore. It was difficult to hold on when I was just numbly floating around somewhere. I was tired of not feeling anything, of just watching them operate on me and the baby, and just listening to the machine readings of our fading lives.

 

"She's not holding on. Mommy Kim, open your eyes--"

 

"SOMEBODY GET DR. HAN FROM NEURO RIGHT NOW!"

 

"We've requested the neurosurgeons from Seoul and they will be here in an hour--"

 

"WE DON'T HAVE AN HOUR! DR. HAN JUST HAS TO KEEP HER ALIVE!"

 

The doctor has now lost composure. With a calmer voice, she said, "Taeyeon, listen to me. You can't sleep, do you understand? If you sleep, we will lose you and Jiwon!"

 

But I can't doc. I just want to rest.

 

"Paige her parents, or her husband... ask the family outside who the best person is who can pull her out of this."

 

Just let me feel something so I can hold on. How can I hang here if I couldn't feel any life in me?

 

"You have to nurse Jiwon, burp her, put her to sleep, watch her walk, and listen to her first word. You need to be alive to do that. Taeyeon, are you still with me?"

 

I am with you, but I can't feel you. I visualize you but I can't see you. I hear you but I can't listen to you.

 

"I don't know you personally Ms. Kim, and I only see you from the TV and the Internet. But I know you've been hurt for so long. You must be tired, and worn out. But you can't stop here! You've hurt so much just to lose your life and baby girl. You have to fight! Fight for Jiwon mommy."

 

I was about to close my eyes and rest forever, but the mention of someone's name forced my eyes to stay open. That sound of those three syllables calling that person's name magically gave me the strength to hold on.

 

"Mr. Kwon Jiyong, I need you to hold mommy's hand. I need you to tell her why she has to live. I need you to give her a reason to live. Do you understand me?!"

 

Jiyong. My Jiyong. He was here. Please move closer so I can see you.

 

"She can't fall asleep until the surgery, or we lose her. But she can't be operated on her head until after I take Jiwon out. Do you understand your role in this?"

 

Come here Jiyong. I want to see you.

 

"Mr. Kwon Jiyong!"

 

I love you honey. If I can't hold on, please know that I love you with all the life I had.

 

"Daddy, please! We need mommy and baby to live, so step in this very vital role and play your part well!"

 

I was giving up, and my eyes were becoming so heavy. If I didn't see Jiyong in the next second, I would fall asleep. Where are you dad? Show yourself to me... b-because... I...

 

"Taeyeon..."

 

He called out. The sound of his voice became a booster, giving me another minute of holding on.

 

"You just need to give her a reason to fight."

 

"Mom..." he spoke again, providing yet another minute for my eyes to keep opened.

 

"Don't let her give up Mr. Kwon.

 

"Taeyeon I love you so much..."

 

Finally, he appeared in front of me. I could see his face, I could feel his warmth, I could smell his scent. He was right here, and he held my hand. He even kissed it. Then, he kissed my forehead and my lips. Though I didn't feel any palpable sensations from those kisses, I felt an abstract sense of happiness, of strength. Jiyong's presence and touch were enough to keep me alive for at least the next half hour.

 

Just stay there honey, so I can hang in here.

 

"I love you more than my life. I love you more than anything in the world. I need you to live, so I can show you just how much I love you," he cried. He was crying so hard, and he sat beside me while holding my hands with his two palms. "Don't die on me, arasseo? I can't live if you die. You can't leave me alone like this. I need you in my life hon. Don't close your eyes, huh?"

 

Could he see my eyes moving? Could he read what I wanted to say through my opened glassy eyes? Though I was unmoving, numbed, I was very much still here. He gave me life, even just for a little while.

 

I love you too Jiyong. Just stay here with me.

 

"Remember Prague? It was a bad honeymoon, I know. But there was one moment in Prague that got stuck in my memory. It was in Prague when I first felt myself fall in love with you. You were telling me to back off. You hated my overcompensation. You didn't like me worrying about you too much, or protecting you too much. We fought. We argued. Then you teased me. Do you remember that? You said pregnant women need so bad, so you requested me to give you . I knew you were just playing. But when you kissed me, when you crawled on top of me, I felt my heartbeat stop. It skipped a beat mom. I couldn't breathe. Then after it stopped, the heartbeats came back, and they were racing one after another. Until I really couldn't breathe."

 

He was bitterly smiling, his face drenched with tears. I badly wanted to feel his tight grip on my hand, but I couldn't. I could only stare blankly at him, absorbing his sad recollection of our honeymoon and feeling his pain too.

 

"No one has ever done that to me before, so I got scared. I told you that, right? You scared me so much I almost peed on my pants with fear. The days that followed your teasing became even more difficult. When we strolled around Prague, shopped around, walked around, took photos, pretended to be a sweet couple for every Asian we met, my heartbeat would always skip a beat at the sight of you, the scent of you, the sound of you. Since Prague, I always couldn't breathe whenever I was with you. So Prague, to me, was a good honeymoon. It was the city where I first fell in love with you. I just didn't know it then. So I want to change your memories of the Czech Republic. We have to erase the bad memories, and create only good ones. I want you to love Prague like I do. I want Prague to be the place where we love each other, not hate each other. We have to go back there Taeyeon, so I need you to live."

 

Prague also had good memories for me. When we ate together, when we shopped together, when we slept in one hotel suite, woke up with each other, had breakfast together. I can look back and those memories can make me smile.

 

"Her stats are dropping. She's not holding on well doc," the medical professional shouted, and I saw Jiyong look towards them.

 

"Mr. Kwon I don't need you to watch me. I got Baby Jiwon, I promise you that! So promise me you have Mommy Taeyeon!"

 

With that, he looked back and stared at me once more. He even caressed my face, and he leaned forward to plant another kiss on my lips. This time, the kiss lingered. I almost felt something, and yet there was still nothing. It was probably just the strong rush of love leading my senses to feel the phantom sensation of Jiyong's lips.

 

"How about London? Do you remember our second honeymoon? Again, another bad one. I can't seem to give you a proper one. But I need you to know something too. It was a good honeymoon for me as well, because it was in that place when I first admitted to myself that I already loved you."

 

"When you cried out of jealousy, when you got sad because you had a low-self-esteem, I hated seeing your tears. I hated myself for making you feel insecure. I killed myself for not giving you enough reasons to feel good about yourself. Even if you got fat, even if you nose for bigger, even if your abs were gone to be replaced by Jiwon's bump, you were still the most beautiful woman in my eyes. So when I hurt when you hurt, I really asked myself, why did I worry too much? Why did I hurt when you cried? Then we made love, you offered to go to Paris with me, and you asked me if I still wanted to be with you even after Jiwon was born. On that night when we held each other, I felt a rush of emotions. I knew I couldn't let you go. I knew you mattered to me. On that night when we looked at each other after you asked me that question, I knew that the answer was yes. I still wanted to be with you. I didn't want to let go of us."

 

London also had beautiful memories for me. When we strolled around the Hyde Park, when we shopped in Harrods, I loved every moment, every day.

 

"She's not moving. The baby's not moving Dr. Kim. Is she--"

 

"I NEED EVERYONE TO CALM DOWN AND SHUT UP!"

 

The last comment scared Jiyong. I watched fear cloud his eyes as he looked back again. Now the doctor was carrying something so small. “Is that Jiwon? She's so little... and still... she wasn't crying..."

 

"Daddy Kwon, go back to your job. I told you I got this! So get mommy for me.

 

"There's no heartbeat doc."

 

"I need an assist and a consult. Is Dr. Choi on the way?"

 

"I'm here Dr. Kim. Let's keep this baby alive," the familiar voice of my Aunt Choi spoke. I saw her walk past us. She stopped by us and put her arms on Jiyong, saying, "We got this son. And Taeyeon, just hold on dear."

 

Jiyong nodded, crying even harder this time. He went back to me and kissed my hands, sobbing on it for a long time. He cried silently before he spoke.

 

"What about Paris, do you remember that? It's probably filled with bad memories for you. It's my fault. In that place, I hurt you the most. Because of my actions in Paris, you packed up and left me, taking Jiwon with you. I regret every single thing I did in Paris the moment I missed you and Jiwon. But even if that place is filled with memories of regret, I also had great memories there..."

 

He kissed my hand again. He cried while kissing my hand again. I wanted him to stop talking, because it was only hurting him. Yet his words kept me alive.

 

"...in the cocktail party of the exhibit, Pharrell asked me how our marriage was. I told him it couldn't be any better. While we talked, I watched you from afar, socializing, laughing. Then our eyes met, and you smiled at me. You waved at me. You even winked at me. Your actions played in slow motion, and I felt my hand control my chest. It was beating so loud and so fast. Again, I couldn't breathe. Pharrell saw it all, and he teased, 'Man, you're hoodwinked. You're clearly love-fooled.' I found myself saying, 'Yeah I am. Man, I'm crazy about her.' I knew from that moment when you controlled the beating of my heart, the air circulation in my body, that I loved you so much. It's just the past holding me back. The efforts from the past, the investments, the emotions I have already gambled, they prevented me from just holding on to you. But I have loved you for a long time now. How could I not? It was so difficult not to love you."

 

It was also difficult not to love you too. I have loved you for a long time too. I felt touched, because he already loved me around the same time I fell in love with him.

 

"You are kind, selfless, meek, and generous. You don't judge. You don't demand. You don't fight. I loved the way you woke up at 7am to cook. I loved the way you folded all my clothes neatly and knew which goes where. I loved the way you fished with my dad’s on Sundays. I loved the way you cooked lunch and dinners with my mom. I loved the way you shopped and talked with my sister morning, noon and night-time. I loved the way you kissed me welcome whenever I went home. I loved the way you never failed to ask how my day was, and listened to my meaningless ramblings at out work. Most of all, I loved the way you stood humbly, small, unselfish, in the corner while my friends disrespected you, and while I slept with a woman we both thought I loved more. I loved that you never blamed me, or hated me, because you were too kind to do so. I loved everything about you. I love you Taeyeon. Just live for me mom. Live for me so I can show you I love you and only you."

 

"The neuro specialists have arrived. We need to move baby Jiwon in OR 3," a strange voice said, and maybe it was a new person just sending a message to the OR.

 

"We need a few more minutes, so ask them to prep here," Dr. Kim told the carrier of the message.

 

Aunt Choi said, "Keep her alive for a few more minutes Jiyong. We need her awake until the neurosurgeons can check on her. Ten minutes tops."

 

"How's Jiwon auntie? Is she alive? Is she breathing--"

 

"I only want you to worry about keeping Taeyeon awake, okay? I will do everything I can for our Jiwon, I promise you that."

 

That's when Jiwon let one of his hands go to catch his forehead. He was struggling. As I watched him in pain like this, my eyes drooped so heavily. I wanted to close it, and only Jiyong's touch kept me from it. He saw me do this, because then he took my hand with two hands again.

 

"Don't sleep yet. Just a little bit more," he begged, kissing my forehead once more. He fixed my hair and wiped my face.

 

"I'm sorry mom, for putting you in this position. I'm sorry for hurting you. I'm sorry for doing all the foolish things I did. I want you to live so I can spend the rest of our lives making it up to you. We will live in a beautiful villa in Jeju Island, we will buy a house in Jeonju too, we will get a star named after you, we will buy a forest in your name, we will build an orphanage and name it Taeyeon. Your dad said outside that you wanted to pursue art? Let's get you enrolled for an Art degree. We can also build an art school for kids, like you dream of. Remember that hon. We will do all the things you want and dream. The Scandal Contract says we have to stay together forever, so please live. You and me, we will stay together forever."

 

When he begged me like that, I knew that I needed to fight. I knew that I needed to hold on, no matter how difficult. I couldn't leave him, even if it hurt me. I couldn't leave him, even if it was the toughest battle I had to win.

 

"Please Taeyeon, please stay with me forever."

 

I will Jiyong. I will stay with you forever.

 

~*~

 

July 30, 2014

SOURCES CONFIRM TAEYEON AND G-DRAGON REUNION

1. [+18,372 / -2,345] This is the ultimate test for any couple. To be honest, I am not looking at them as the celebrities who fooled the public anymore. I am only seeing them as grieving parents in pain at a sight of their child's sufferings. Fight and hold each other's hands during this test. United you stand, divided you fall.

 

August 2, 2014

SPORTS SEOUL SPECIAL: TAEYEON AND G-DRAGON SIGHTINGS IN JEONJU HOSPITAL

1. [+15,144 / -1,738] My God these nurses and healthcare professionals should be sued for selling private photos to the media! This is preposterous! The media was the sole reason why these two families had to live in the hospital for months. Now they are still making money off of their private family moments.

2. It's good to see them hold hands and kiss like this. I don't know why I felt like crying seeing them together. It's like I've been through up and down with them. Taeyeon and G-dragon hwaiting!

 

August 18, 2014

G-DRAGON TELLS FANS, "THE BEST GIFT WOULD BE PRAYERS FOR MY WIFE."

1. [+10,092 / -1,019] They have been divorced for two months now and yet he still calls her his wife. That's really sweet. I respect their silence in this endeavor. They did not grandstand. They requested SM and YG not to speak for them. They remained invisible in the world of SNS. They are truly done with that world they lived in, yet they never failed to speak to the fans when able. The Sones and VIP fan accounts of their encounters with GD, Kim and Kwon families are very heartwarming. Respect and prayers with you Kwon Jiyong! And happy 27th birthday.

 

~*~

 

September 25, 2014

 

There was nothing that can describe how much Kwon Jiyong helped me live. When I woke up from that life-saving surgery, I was bedridden. I couldn't move, couldn't walk, couldn't talk. It took days before I could even talk to him. Yet he stayed. He took care of me. He settled the hospital bills, the healthcare arrangements. And every single night since the incident, he never failed to kiss me goodnight and tell me he loved me.

 

His constant assurances, his presence, his kindness, they helped me pull through, until I felt my heart drowning with gratitude and love for him. So when he asked me to move to Jeju Island with him, I didn't find any ounce of objection in my heart.

 

"Do you see that?" he asked pointing up and whispering to my ears. He was holding my petite body around his long arms.

 

"Yeah. What about it?" I responded.

 

This time, he had me look through the telescope he setup for us. The last thing I expected was for us to go stargazing on a cold fall night like this. He set up the device for me, and then focused it on a bright and shining star. Then, it became my turn to look at it.

 

"It's a star named Taeyeon."

 

"Wh-what?"

 

"You said you wanted a star named after you, right? There it is."

 

"You did not!" I exclaimed, looking back at him.

 

"And that little star beside it, it's named Jiwon."

 

"Oh my God."

 

Before I could even go back to gaze at my and Jiwon’s stars, my husband just cupped my face and kissed my lips.

 

"That's how much I love you Taeyeon. It goes beyond this world."

 

It was only this morning when we were flown to this beautiful house he acquired for us. It was located in a gated ground on the island of Jeju-do. This was the new life he has long prepared, the peaceful world he tirelessly built, the brand new home he created for our family. And on our first night here, he gave me a gift that brought me to tears. How did he even remember that secret dream of mine? Perhaps, I mentioned this to him when we wrote our infamous Scandal Contract? Regardless, the star was a beautiful gift. And as a bonus, Jiwon had her own star too, watching over us.

 

I cried at the thought of Jiwon. I cried at the thought of not having another Jiwon, because I could possible never bear another. It was the price we had to pay for the selfish dream of being revered by millions.

 

"This life, this world, that you've made for me is more than I ever dreamt of. I'm scared I don't deserve this beautiful life. I don't deserve you. I can't ever be the perfect wife, I can't even give you a son... I can't serve you, take care of you... I don't deserve any of this."

 

I was now crying, at loss of words, helplessly breaking down in front of him. He kneeled one leg to the ground so he could level with me, as I was sat on a wheelchair. I was only bearing the fresh wounds from the Caesarian surgery, and most especially the wounds from my torn . But there was nothing more painful than talking about that one thing I might possibly not be able to give the person I loved the most.

 

"You are so wrong to think you need to deserve me, or that you don't," Jiyong said, marrying our twenty fingers together. "I was the one who hurt you. I was the one who made you scared. I was the one who left you scars. I don't deserve you. This house, this life, they can't even compensate for what I took away from you. You're the person I love the most in this world, and yet I bled you dry. I can't forgive myself Taeyeon. This is the least I can give you."

 

Kwon Jiyong was also crying now, so I let go of his hands to dry his tears. His tears were torrentially pouring out.

 

"I don't want you to fall into a severe depression once more. It'll kill us both. Don't fall into that pit again, okay? Promise me that mom."

 

My eyes lingered on him for a while, until I just smiled and nodded. "The stars are beautiful. Jiwon's beautiful too."

 

"She is, isn't she?"

 

"I love her so much. So why did this happen to her? Why can't we watch her run around and fall down on her knees? What if she wanted to play soccer? Or be a great figure skater? She wasn't given the chance. She could have been the next SNSD, or... or..." but I watched Jiyong shake from tears again, so I stopped. I shook my head and held on his face. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I'm always thinking of the bad things. I just... the wounds are still so fresh. It just hurts so much."

 

"I'm sorry Taeyeon," he teared up and leaned forward to kiss me. The sweet taste of his mouth was enough to calm me down. "I love you hon. Just bear the pain a little while longer. And always remember that I'm never gonna leave you."

 

"Jiyong..."

 

"Hmmmm?"

 

"Don't die on me, can you promise that?" I desperately asked, holding his face steady and putting our foreheads together. "Never leave me, or hurt me. I don't think I can take one more pain like that. Just always stay with me."

 

With our foreheads kissing each other, he nodded and said, "I promise."

 

We kissed again, this time longer, stronger, and sweeter. When our heads parted, we laughed a little upon realizing our tears have subsided. He was the first to wipe my eyes and cheeks dry, so I did the same to him.

 

"Taeyeon..."

 

"Hmmm?"

 

He looked at me for a long while before taking one of my hands and intertwining our ten fingers together.

 

"...will you marry me?"

 

~*~

 

September 15, 2014

"KIM TAEYEON'S INJURIES PREVENT HER FROM EXHAUSTIVE ACTIVITIES."

1. [+18,372 / -2,345] Haters can now rest easy because she can never dance and sing again. There's your SNSD8 for life. Now shut up and live your life.

2. [+15,144 / -1,738] The industry just lost the best idol vocal it has ever produced. It was a good eight years with you Taeyeon. We hope to hear your voice again someday.

3. [+10,092 / -1,019] Can the media stop? How did you dig up her medical records? This is sick. The woman just survived a near-death and is bedridden for Christ's sake!

 

October 15, 2014

INSIDERS REVEAL TAEYEON AND JIYONG WILL RENEW VOWS ON DECEMBER

1. [+18,372 / -2,345] Now that the past is behind us, I want to sincerely congratulate Taeyeon and G-dragon for finding each other, for staying together, and for planning to renew their vows. Do not take marriage for granted. Everyone deserves a second chance, and so does their marriage. The public hatred has dwindled down since July, and now that the forgiveness is in the horizon, I only wish for love and happiness for the Kim and Kwon family.

 

November 21, 2014

KIM-KWON CONJUGAL PROPERTIES AMOUNT TO $20 MILLION

1. [+10,092 / -1,019] Apparently they filed for a marriage registration a month ago. G-dragon also recently purchased a villa in Jeju Island. I heard it's closed for public access, so I'm glad that the sasaengs and paparazzi can't stalk the couple anymore. They have been through hell and back. They deserve peace from here on. Good luck and may God bless the two of you.

 

~*~

 

December 19, 2014

 

With my brother and father on both my sides, I watched the Church door open. Like in the movies, it moved in slow motion, revealing the beautiful Church of the Holy Spirit. What's more beautiful was the happy faces of our select guests. Only the people we care for and call our friend or family was here to witness our second union in matrimony.

 

But the most beautiful of them all was the sight of my groom, live in person, even from afar. He was tall, handsome, clean and dapper, his silver tuxedo complimenting his jet black brushed up hair. Even if he was at least fifty steps away from me, I knew that he was silently crying. I felt inexplicable happiness at the sight of the man I would spend the rest of my life with, waiting for me at the altar, in front of God. This would be a real wedding, blessed by the Holy Spirit. This would be a real marriage, with God at the center. This would be a real partnership, and we truly loved each other.

 

Before I knew it, I was crying too, because I remembered just how he proposed to me.

 

"...will you marry me?"

 

I got stunned. Very stunned, to the point that I couldn't mutter a single word. Kwon Jiyong successfully shut me up, and I could only bury my sight on him. I did not expect him to pop this question. Although we've expressed how much we loved each other countless times, the eventful months that passed us by since our first marriage has compartmentalized the thoughts of another marriage at the back of my mind.

 

"I hope we can try again. I want to be the husband who vows to see only you, cherish only you, love only you," he said, staring at me so deeply and quietly begging, his eyes filled with a calm desperation. "Together, we can heal all our wounds faster. I'll do anything and everything so you'll feel less and less pain every waking day, until nothing is left but hope, compassion, trust, faith, and love."

 

Every move I made during the first ten steps was plagued with pain. My wounds seared, my stomach throbbed, and my pelvic muscles flexed. Combined, all those pains resulted to my agony. Yet each step got me closer to Jiyong. As he loomed closer and closer to me, I have learned to ignore the pain. While our best friends Stephanie and Youngbae sang our wedding song that Jiyong wrote, my eyes were glued on his handsome face, while my memories kept reminding me of how Kwon Jiyong first asked for my hand in a second marriage.

 

His tears started falling again. I've never seen Jiyong as emotional as he was in the last months, ever since the incident took place. It seemed every time we talked seriously, he would allow tears to escape him. His comfort in being vulnerable around me told so much of our relationship. I found myself wiping the tears off his face again.

 

He continued, "Let's start making only good memories. Let's start feeling only happiness. Let's start building a life together. Let's face today and tomorrow as husband and wife again. For real this time. So Kim Taeyeon, will you marry me again?"

 

He asked the question again, yet I still didn't have an answer. Well, I did, but I could not word it out. I was too stunned to even voice out my response. This apparently perturbed him, because his begging face suddenly turned for worry. His eyes were now filled with fear, and his forehead crooked for the worst.

 

"I understand if you have doubts. I d-don't want to force you. I'll give you time if you need it. I'm sorry for springing this on you at a moment like this."

 

Finally, the altar was only five steps away. I was about to give up, the pains of my abdomen and pelvic region killing me. But when I saw up close my groom’s smile, his tearful eyes, the pains disappeared. As I surrendered to my happiness, my parents held on me tighter. Then, we took the final steps to get where he was. And as I took that one last step, I cried and smiled, and Jiyong did the same. I remembered how I accepted that proposal, leading us to this beautiful wedding ceremony.

 

"Nothing would take the pain away, or heal me, better than knowing we'll face life together," I began my attempt to voice out my true feelings for his proposal.

 

Now it became my turn to lean forward and own his lips. I kissed him with all the energy my battered body could muster, even using my hand to pull him closer to me. He struggled with the awkward position of his legs and feet, yet he bore the discomfort. He responded to my lead with a more aggressive move, owning my mouth like he so thirsted for it. This only resulted to me hungering for more of his sweet taste. Our kiss lasted. Our kiss lingered. And then, it ended, leaving the beautiful glow of happiness and love on both our faces.

 

"I'll marry you again Kwon jiyong. For real this time."

 

Now I was really marrying him, for real this time.

 

"You look beautiful honey," he complimented.

 

He cried and smiled too, bowing to my parents, embracing and kissing them respectfully. Then, I saw him hold out his hand to ask for mine, eyeing my parents for their permission. I looked at umma and appa, and just like Jiyong, they were crying too. They each embraced me, kissing my forehead and whispering their blessings to me.

 

Finally, both my mother and father gave my hand to Kwon Jiyong, marrying me off with very happy and secured hearts.

 

~*~

 

December 19, 2014

POLICE FORCE GUARD KIM-KWON CHURCH NUPTIAL AND PARTY, MEDIA STRICTLY OFF LIMITS

1. [+18,372 / -2,345] Heard G-dragon spent $1 million for security to keep the media off the venue. So media, respect the couple's wishes. Please get off the grounds and stop killing their family!

2. [+15,144 / -1,738] It's a private ceremony. The people were there as regular folks and not as celebrities. I'm glad not to see scary sasaeng photos like we all expected, which means The Force did their job right.

 

December 19, 2014

COLLECTION OF CELEBRITY SNS POSTS FROM KIM-KWON WEDDING

 

@kimheenim posted:

Selca with the bride

before the wedding, I had the honor of wiping the bride's tears of joy. she was crying because her groom's greetings to the guest before the actual ceremony displayed their unbridled true love. what they have is a beautiful story, one that I envy.

 

@soojoopark tweeted:

NP - I Only Love You (G-dragon)

You don't know this song, but I do, and it's a beautiful one. As a wedding giveaway, Jiyong collected his self-composed songs for their friends and families to listen to. Every song is for Taeyeon and Jiwon, and this one is my favorite. It's an enviable kind of love, don't you think?

 

Tiffany @ UFO Town:

Q: Unnie, how's the wedding going? Is Taeyeon unnie crying? I heard she's still injured, is that true?

A: Yes, she is. Currently, she's in pain. But she didn't even want to ride the wheelchair towards the ceremony. When she said she wanted to walk the aisle for Jiyong, my heart crushed. I want a love like that too. So let's always cheer for your Taeyeon unnie, okay?

 

@youngbeezy posted:

Groom selca with the groomsmen: TOP, Youngbae, Daesung, Seungri, Heechul, Jiwoong, Soohyuk

Second time's a charm bro. You look better now. I know this will be it. I just know it. Love you, Taeyeon and Jiwon so much.

 

@siwon407 tweeted:

I never knew what love meant

Until God gave me these tests

Because I wanted to pass them

I've realized how much I love you

- Kim Taeyeon, What Is Love, Really?

A heartwarming song. A glorious voice. A beautiful music. It is an honor to keep listening to G-dragon's music and Taeyeon's voice. Let God be the center of this marriage, and you will have a full and blissful life together.

 

@sunnynight posted:

Bride selca with the bridesmaids SNSD and Hayeon

We've done this eight months ago, only this time Taeyeon's wearing real happiness on her face. To be with her today is a true miracle. It's a miracle of love, a miracle of God. I love you Taeyeon. This is for our Soshi friendship forever!

 

December 19, 2014

KIM-KWON SECOND WEDDING DUBBED MOST CELEBRITY-FILLED YET MOST PRIVATE

1. [+18,372 / -2,345] It can't be helped for the wedding to be celebrity-filled since they grew up in this industry, and all their friends are stars like them. This doesn't mean the media has the right to invade the solemnity of the event.

2. [+15,144 / -1,738] Big Bang. SNSD. Shinee. Super Junior. Exo. 2NE1. YG family. The event only housed 200 guests, and everyone was treated to a 6-hr luxurious cruise to the Jeju Island. It was nothing less of a fairy-tale wedding, only this time it's real, and only this time it's after they braved a miracle. Beautiful. Just beautiful.

 

~*~

 

March 09, 2015

G-DRAGON AND TAEYEON SPOTTED IN A BRAZILIAN GETAWAY

 

"Thank you for bringing me here hon," I whispered in Jiyong's right ear.

 

My face was buried in the corner of his neck and shoulder, and he was holding my body so close. We were intertwined together, the cold rush of the Brazilian wind touching our almost bodies.

 

He whispered back, "Nothing beats making love under the Brazilian moonlight."

 

Then he kissed me. I knew we could make more love, but we already did just enough for the night. We were lying down on the cushion bed that was placed outside, under the beautiful night skies of Fernando de Noronha, floating just on the shore of the Baia do Sancho. We made love outside for the first time, with the security of the most luxurious hotel that kissed the Brazilian