You knew that it will not happen but what was wrong with hoping?

You gaze out into the clear acrylic glass in front of you and towards the empty booth. You sighed as the thoughts of your unrequited love surfaced. It wasn’t really the healthiest of thoughts but it was something that keeps you on your toes most of the times.

Life has been easier for you for the past year and Korea has been generally good to you; and accepting much to your surprise. You had been a household name and you went on programs on your own, with the help of your hyung-deul sometimes but most of the times, it was just you.

You took in a deep breath and released a loud exhale as you drop the pen you were holding and looked at the blank paper in front of you. You were never the most creative in lyrics and you give that job to your Zhoumi gege. You took another deep breath and you ran your fingers to your newly dyed hair. You gaze again and saw your reflection; you’ve missed the natural color of your hair.

Wusuowei

You wrote in pinyin and thought of the next word to follow. You were trying to come up with something witty and were challenging yourself to write in Chinese rather than write it in English and translate it; you were trying to push yourself.

Wo bing bu dong

You wrote down and flicked the pen and made it rotate around your finger. Well really, you don’t understand yourself right now. You should be concentrating rather than think of the mess you have for a love life. You sighed yet again as your phone vibrated and a familiar reminder greeted you. You sighed for the nth time in the last two hours as you close your eyes and imagined how it would have been if you confessed earlier and did not chicken out.

You shook your head as you wrote again.

Mei xiang tai duo

You smiled a little as you read the first two lines of the song. Well that wasn’t much but then again, it should be enough for starters.

His smile flashed before your eyes and the bitter truth dawned over you, you can never have him. You bit your lower lip as the emotions started consuming you and hot liquid started forming on the side of your eyes. You wanted to stop them but you were alone so you let them fall as you wrote another line.

Xihuan shang ni shi dui shi cuo

The line was laced with your emotions as you wrote them down and paused as you wiped the tears that escaped your eyes. It wasn’t much but the tears that fell relieved a small amount of pain in your heart. Of course you knew that it was wrong because he was your hyung and even more wrong because he’s already dating someone else. You let out another tear fell as you tried to write the next line of the song.

Qing nib u yao ting bier en shou

You wanted to tell him badly but it wasn’t really a matter of courage, it was a conflict of interest. You wanted to keep them both as friends so you just kept the feelings that were seeping through the crack in your soul. You tried to keep them intact while you wishe that he would listen to your silent confession. But it was a useless prayer.

Cause you are my everything

And you stopped as you read what you just wrote. You knew he was your everything and more. He was the one who protected you the most and made you feel welcome and appreciated. When you were down and hopeless, he was the one who held your hand and told you to fight harder because he will never leave your side. When you feel alone, you always felt his strong and protective arms around you. He was truly more than everything, because everything isn’t enough to describe what he means to you.

Pei zai ni shenbien Everyday

It’s those days that you saw him cry because of their fights that you wanted to steal him and neglect the consequences that couples with it. But you remained to be the friend that he expected you to be, returning the same warmth that he shared when you were at your lowest point in life. You gave him a warm smile and he smiled back, grateful that you were there for him. It broke your heart that you can never have him no matter how hard you try but then again, being this close is the best alternative if you could consider it as that.

Zhi yaun yitian ni kan de jian My love for you

You breathed in a lungful of air as you realized the longing the simple phrase that you wrote brought. It wasn’t utterly extravagant but the conciseness of the words you chose surprised you that they could deliver such emotions. You didn’t try to rewrite it; you felt that it was the anchor of the whole song. You re-read it again and took in its whole meaning. This small phrase stood out from the rest and a small smile graced your lips. It was the whole truth and meaning of the song you were writing and you finally wrote another phrase to complete the chorus

Wo de ai ta shi shou bu hui

The period marked the end of the chorus and you looked at the half finished lyrics and that familiar feeling crept in your heart as each word punctuated the emotions you wanted to convey, but could never ever say openly. You can never have him and all you can do is wait and hope that that day could come. But you knew too well that it’s just wishful thinking so you just put the paper down and closed your eyes. It’s better this way.

“You should rest Henry.” You heard his voice and all you can do is smile at him and nod. “You wrote it already?” He asked and you handed him the half written song lyrics which he looked at intently. “You wrote it directly in Mandarin. I don’t understand a thing.” He said then laughed and you felt a tug at your lips.

“unrequited love.” You simply said and he nodded, placing the paper down and crossing his arms in front of him as he leaned on the side of the desk and he looked at you with warm brown eyes.

“And who was your muse?” He asked and you looked at him hoping that your eyes won’t betray you when you give him another white lie.

“Our fans Ryeowook hyung.” Lie.

“Oh, wait. Hmmm” He took the paper again and tried to read the pinyin.

“The whole song just felt like a sad song about longing for the other to discover what he felt for the girl. It’s similar to what the fans are feeling right now. They all know that even if they love us that much, we could never return them. But that love can’t be taken back, it’s been already offered.” Another lie.

You saw his lips curve into a smile. “Such deep emotions from a young kid.” He commented and you pouted.

“I’m all grown up hyung.” You replied and he ruffled your hair.

“I know and I am very proud of what you’ve accomplished Henry. Just remember that even if you grow up and have a family, I will still be your hyung.” He said and You gave him a sincere smile and a nod.

“Is the title supposed to be wusuowei?” HE suddenly asked and you looked at him in bewilderment. “I think My love for you would be more applicable.” He suggested before laughing at you.

“It’s the only phrase you understand hyung.” You said with a grin and he chuckled.

‘You got me.” He confessed as he handed you back the paper.

“I’ll take it into consideration.” You replied and he gave you another warm smile.

‘I love your black hair.” He said and you both fell into a comfortable silence.

Hyung I love you. You thought as you look into those brown eyes and smiled. And I will wait for the day when you’ll return my feelings in the same way.

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a/n: fine that was something crappy.. But listen to the song it’s really beautiful and I wish that they could perform it on music shows (acoustic would be lovely)