You know when you notice you have a paper cut hours after you’ve gotten it and suddenly something that went unnoticed becomes the most painful noticeable thing in your life? Sometimes people are like unnoticed paper cuts, never noticing them until it’s entirely too painful to bear anymore. Some days it feels like someone has poured salt water into your wound and other it’s almost like they are full healed and no longer ailing you. People are like that too.

They say that people will come and go, and its true people come and people go like waves crashing against the white sand on the bank of the beach. Some people are like hurricanes crashing into the beach and destroying everything in sight, others are like a soft rain helping the land revive after a long drought. People can be destructive and destroy the world you once knew, where others can be creative and construct and entire new world full of wonder.

Yixing is Sehun's own personal paper cut, he was the soft rain after a hurricane, and then he was the hurricane.

Sehun still remembers the scent of butter cake in the mornings, when Yixing would climb out of the shower humming some new tune he'd come up with earlier that morning. He remembers the sound of fingers strumming against guitar strings in the late evening while the stars appeared one by one in the sky. His favorite memory of staying in bed cuddling until late afternoon on Saturdays because neither of them had anywhere to be. Those Saturday mornings spent tangled in sheets laughing and kissing were among Sehun's favorite moments. He isn't sure when these memories started to hurt, when he could no longer look back and feel happy when thinking about Yixing, now he only feels pain.

It took Jongin two weeks to get Sehun to climb out of bed and shower after Yixing left, it took him days to coax him into eating something, anything and even then Sehun didn't eat much. He lost weight, he started drinking trying to forget about his former lover, he got into bar fights with random strangers for no reason at all other that to fight. He lost control of his life, slowly but surely he hit rock bottom. It wasn't until after Jongin intervened that Sehun went back to everyday life of getting up and going to work and even then he felt hallow, like he was missing something.

He goes about his life like a zombie trapped in his inner thoughts walking down the street to work, it becomes a walk down memory lane. The coffee shop lobby of his building was the first place he ever caught a glimpse of the Chinese male, the elevator was where they exchanged their first words. Sehun asked Yixing out one morning just outside of the building, it had been a shot in the dark because hell Sehun didn't know if Yixing was gay or if he was straight. He was surprised when Yixing said yes and even more surprised when the date went incredibly well. Everyday when Sehun passes through those glass doors he's plagued with the bitter sweet memories of Yixing, and he hates it.

He hates being home more than he hates the walk to work, because at home everything Yixing left has become a memory of what used to be, the top drawer he left empty still smells like Yixing's cologne. He hasn't bothered to fix the hole in the wall by the front door from the time he and Yixing stumbled in drunk at two in the morning and Yixing had a hard time taking off his shoes resulting in his foot going through the wall. There's a hoodie the back of the closet that Sehun pulls out every now and again because like the drawer it too still smells like Yixing, sometimes he spends entire Saturdays curled up on the couch watch cartoons in that hoodie with Yixing favorite coffee cup tucked into his hands. Home is just another reminder of the man that he loved.

Today is no different than any other day, Sehun got up at six, took a shower, brushed his teeth, combed his hair, got dressed and walked to work. Only today he sees a familiar face in the crowd a face he hasn't seen in months or has it already been a year. Now that he thinks about it, its really been a full year since he watched the other male walk out the door of their shared apartment bags in tow. At first he thinks it a dream or a hallucination from the lack of sleep, but its not its real. Its Yixing, and he's smiling with another man and Sehun feels his heart sink even further. The man is tall with blonde hair he has his huge hands intertwined with Yixing's and even though they seemingly fit together Sehun can't help but wish it were his fingers intertwined with his former lover.

If god didn't hate Sehun enough, Yixing looks up and catches his gaze and its like Sehun is frozen there in that moment, those eyes that smile and holy hell those dimples. Suddenly Sehun can't breath he can't move and he can't think when Yixing whispers something to the other male and makes his way through the crowd with a huge smile on his face. Panic sets into Sehun's body and his instincts of fight or flight take over and Sehun runs, he ran until his lungs burned and his heart was pounding in his ears. Nothing, and Sehun meant it nothing hurt more in the world than seeing Yixing smile at him like that.

When Sehun finally does stop running he's at the Han river, there are kids playing a game of soccer. Of all days to run into Zhang Yixing its their anniversary or what was supposed to be their anniversary, He sits for a while watching the kids kick the ball back and forth but eventually they leave, laughing and genuinely happy. Sehun wonders what its like to feel happy, the only time he really remembers being happy was when he met Yixing, and all the time before he left.

Sehun leaves the park as the sun dips below the horizon he walks with his hands stuffed deep into his pockets, he's still thinking about Yixing and it , it really just when he felt like he was finally healing there he was re-opening the wound. Sehun in his bottom lip and bits it in frustration, he could have anyone he wants. Luhan has been begging him for weeks to sleep with him, Tao is always an option but for some reason it doesn't feel right. There is only one person he wants to be with and of course he ed it up.

Really he only has himself to blame, he's not stupid he realizes that he's the reason Yixing left. He understands where it all went wrong and he could go back and change it he would in a heartbeat he wouldn't have missed that date, he would have brought home flowers that day after work, he wouldn't have gone back into work when his boss called, but he didn't and that's why he's single, bitter, and lonely. Its gotten colder in recent months summer has faded in to autumn and now winter is just around the corner, Sehun isn't bothered by the cold but tonight the wind is nipping at his nose and his cheeks making the walk home extremely uncomfortable.

Sehun doesn't like thinking about that night, if he allowed himself to go back to that night he was afraid that his world would come crashing down again. He knew that just by thinking about that night and what he could have done to fix things, he'd slip back into the habit of going out to clubs drinking and going home with a random stranger in order to forget all over again. With the stars shining bright in the sky Sehun allows himself to go back, to think about that night because its been a year and he knows its time to let go, because Yixing has someone new, because Yixing looked happy and to Sehun that's all that mattered was that he was happy. Sehun realized long ago that you don't really realize what you have until its gone much like an unnoticed paper cut, when you finally notice you have one its the most painful thing you can feel or think about.

One year ago....

It had been a long day and he was tired, the only thing on Sehun's mind was getting into the apartment and curling up in his bed with Yixing by his side, nothing else mattered. Not even the fact that he was frustrated and exhausted because Luhan had him running around like a chicken with its head cut off all day long, because Luhan neglected to realize that their project was due that day. Lately work had been demanding all his attention with several projects coming up and a promotion in his sights Sehun had been working himself to the bone, he was also saving up for something. Work started to consume all his free time including his precious Saturday's spent with a certain someone wrapped in his arms. He'd been spending less and less time at home and more time in the office. Work left him both physically and mentally exhausted.

When he enters the apartment he immediately starts peeling off his clothes he hangs his coat on the rack, kicks his shoes off and then trips over Yixing's shoes he picks them up and tucks them back into their place by his and smiles. Loosening his tie he rolls his neck and heads back to the bedroom while he s his shirt which gets tossed to the floor along with his pants when he enters the room. In the dark he can barely make out Yixing's sleeping figure another smile fall onto his face. Whenever he comes home from a long stressful day at work this is what makes it all worth it, all the work he puts in to make sure they have a secure future is worth it because if he can make Yixing happy for the rest of his life, loosing five pounds due to work isn't a big deal.

When he climbs into the bed he feels Yixing stir beside him and its only a matter of time before Yixing wraps his arms around Sehun's waist and snuggles his face into the crook of Sehun's neck, he feels Yixing's breath fans across his neck as the other male breaths in his scent, Sehun does the same because Yixing smells like butter cake and its his favorite scent, Sehun pulls Yixing closer and closes his eyes, because nights like these are a little slice of heaven. “I made dinner” Yixing whispers into the dark.

“Its okay Xing, I'm not hungry” Sehun whispers back a yawn escaping from between his lips “Its late, get some sleep”

“I love you” Yixing yawns snuggling closer to Sehun.

“I love you too” Sehun whispers kissing the top of Yixing head, he's already half a sleep when he hears another soft yawn escape from Yixing and then the soft snoring that comes after. Sehun's almost asleep when his phone starts ringing on the nightstand, he's half asleep when he answers, an d he's angry when he untangles himself from Yixing to climb out of bed. He's shoving his legs into his pants when the bedside light comes on, he looks up to find Yixing in a sitting position his eyes are half open as he attempts to adjust to the light. Sehun wants so badly to just get back in bed but he can't because that idiot Luhan lost their proposal the one that he needs to get this promotion and now he has to head back to the office to make a new one before the presentation in the morning.

“Where are you going” Yixing ask his voice raspy from sleep and its probably the most attractive sound Sehun's ever heard, Sehun really wants to get back into bed.

“Work” he replies as he slips his pants the rest of the way up and buttons them, he's threading his belt through the loops when he feels Yixing's arms wrap around him and a face press against his back.

“Who called?” He ask it's a seemingly innocent question, from what Sehun can tell.

“Luhan” he sighs tightening his belt and securing it with the buckle, he really hates Luhan. Luhan is the reason he has to work seven days a week, the reason why in the past few months fights between himself and Yixing had become more and more frequent to the point that Yixing stayed with Jongdae for a weekend last month.

“Don't go” Yixing whispers and for a brief second Sehun considered blowing off the proposal and staying in bed with Yixing all day tomorrow because in reality he needs a break from work, but he can't he has to do this proposal so that he can do another proposal in a few weeks.

“I can't” he whispers in defeat he knows that lately he's been absent and that Yixing is lonely and in pain but he can't help it. He'd promised himself that after getting this promotion he was going to take himself and Yixing on a two week long vacation somewhere warm, and sunny. He can't do that if he doesn't go into work. Sehun notices Yixing in a deep breath and its quiet for a few moments before Yixing speaks again.

“Are you cheating on me with Luhan?” he ask and Sehun can't believe his ears he turns to face teary eyed Yixing, he doesn't understand where Yixing got the idea that he's cheating on him with Luhan. Is it because of the late nights at the office or the mere fact that anytime Luhan calls him back to the office he always goes running. “I said” Yixing starts

“I know what you said” Sehun sighs rubbing the sleep from his face “I'm not cheating on you with Luhan, I would never cheat on you” he answers, and he hopes that Yixing believes him because he would never cheat on anyone especially Yixing. Sehun's dated before, he's dated a lot of people but he's never been in love with anyone else but Yixing, he's never cared as much about the people he dated as he does Yixing. Sehun decided a long time ago that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with the Chinese male and no one could change his mind, because when you meet the one no one else matters.

“Then don't go” Yixing frowns clearly getting more upset “I didn't want to make you feel bad because I know how much you've been working lately but its our anniversary can't you just stay home”

“, Xing I'm sorry I forgot” Sehun stutters out an apology when he realizes that he missed their anniversary, he knows he's ing idiot because his secretary had been hinting at it all day. Asking him if he had any special plans tonight or if he had picked out flowers yet he'd just been too busy to think about it. Too much of an idiot to realize that she was dropping hints.

Yixing smiles a small sad smile and looks up at Sehun 'Its okay like I said you've been working”

“Xing that doesn't make it okay” Sehun countered he knew he'd ed up and and that no matter how many times Yixing said that it was okay, Sehun knew it wasn't okay.

“Please stay” Yixing whispers and Sehun wants to curse the heavens because he can't, really cannot stay he has to finish this proposal or his job is on the line.

“Yixing, I can't I have to go”

“If you walk out that front door right now, I won't be here when you get back” Yixing sighs, Sehun's mouth drops. “I just can't do this anymore, I rarely see you and its our anniversary” he whispers and Sehun barely catches it. “If you go to him tonight I'm leaving” Unable to believe what he's just heard, he can't tell if its a bluff or not. Sehun glances at the door and then back to Yixing, he takes a deep breath. He doesn't think that Yixing's going to leave, he doesn't think that he's going to pack his bags and leave.

Sehun pulls Yixing into a tight hug and kisses his forehead “I really do have to go Yixing, we can talk about in when I get back tomorrow, I'll come home early from work and we'll have lunch at the park, I promise” he kisses Yixing on the forehead and then a quick kiss to Yixing's lips one last “I love you” and Sehun is grabbing his shirt from the floor and racing out the door.

When he came home at noon the next day, Yixing was pulling a suitcase along the sidewalk his eye were puffy and red from a night of crying, he ignored Sehun's attempts to bring him back into the house, he ignored Sehun's apologies, he ignored Sehun when he sobbed for him to come back. He just kept walking down the street with tears streaming down his face because as much as it hurt to leave Sehun, it hurt more to stay with him. Sehun knew he'd ed up, he knew he just should have stayed home that night.

Present Day...

Sehun climbs the stairs quickly already pulling his keys from his pockets its not until he's already in the door when he notices something isn't right, somethings off, there are a pair of shoes sitting inside of his door, shoes that most definitely weren't there when he left that morning. Only a few people know the passcode to get into the building and fewer have a key to the apartment. Jongin couldn't be back from his trip so soon could he? He wasn't supposed to be back for a few more days, Sehun shrugs his shoulders and assumes that his best friend got back early and slips his shoes off. “I thought you were going to be in the U.S until Thursday” he calls out, and gets no response as he peels his gloves off and unwraps his scarf, when he finally makes It into the sitting room his eyes widen.

There sitting on his couch is Zhang Yixing looking as perfect as ever light brown hair hanging just above his eyes, lips curled into a smile, one dimple showing and he's wearing one of Sehun's sweaters, the words that leave his lips next nearly send Sehun into cardiac arrest “Hi Sehun, I've missed you” he smiles and Sehun's sure he's going to faint because holy hell Yixing is in his apartment and smiling at him and he just said that he missed him. “We should talk”

Sehun's not sure what to do with his hands so he rubs them on his jeans, because really he's nervous, terrified and ecstatic at the same time. He settles down on the couch as far away from Yixing as he can because he's not sure he can be close to the other male without touching him. He's afraid that if he sits too close to the other he'll want to reach out and touch his face, he'll want to pull him into a hug and kiss the top of his head like he used to do. He knows he can't do that so he sits as far away as possible. They sit in silence for what seems like hours before Sehun finally finds words “What did you want to talk about?” he ask slightly afraid of the answer coming, he hasn't seen Yixing in a year which makes him think that what's coming next is going to be bad.

“You've lost weight” Yixing frowns as he takes in Sehun's appearance, its not hard to notice that he's lost nearly ten pounds since last year, because his collar bones jut out more than they used to and his face seems sunken in. His eyes almost always have dark spots under them due to the lack of sleep. Its not that he doesn't get enough time to sleep its because he has to sleep in a bed that seems far to large for one person. Its because he doesn't have a warm body curled up in the bed beside him, the soft sound of snoring that used to lull him to sleep isn't there so Sehun can't sleep unless he's taken sleeping pills.

“I have” Sehun nods in agreement he's sure that Yixing didn't come here to scold him for not eating, there's another reason he's sure of it and Yixing is trying to beat around the bush.

“What you saw today” Yixing starts trailing off and all Sehun can think is here it comes, here comes the I met someone speech and Sehun already feels like he's going to throw up. He knew this day was coming, the day when Yixing would move on and fall in love with someone else. “It's not what you think, really its not” he continues fidgeting with his fingers and that's when Sehun notices he's not the only nervous one. He's not the only one who can feel their heart beating a million miles per second at the mere thought of being in the same room as each other. “His name is Kris, and he's blind I was bringing him to your building because he's in love with this guy named Kyungsoo and he wanted to confess” he laughs a little and its like music to Sehun's ears because he hasn't heard that laugh in so long, he misses the days when that laugh would fill the entire apartment

“I've been working for Kris since I left here, I'm kind of a seeing eye person” he finally looks up at Sehun but only for a brief second before focusing on something else in the room, he takes a deep breath almost like he's trying to steady himself. “The truth is I saw you today and my heart did this stupid fluttering thing and I came to talk to you but you ran, and now here and I am still hopelessly in love with you but I'm so terrified to take a leap of faith and trust that we could do this again because we faught a lot in the last few weeks, and you were a really ty boyfriend for a while, and sometimes I can't remember the happy times and its just so frustrating to be so in love with someone but so scared at the same time.” Sehun doesn't realize he's crying nor does he care, all the matters is that the second Yixing's voice broke his heart broke again, the first tear that fell down his face was like a bullet to his heart because he was the reason Yixing was like this. Broken.

There isn't much space Sehun has to cross to reach Yixing, it takes all of two seconds for the younger male to wrap his arms around the older male and whisper he's sorry. It takes a few moments before a shocked Yixing wraps his arms around Sehun and clings onto his sweater for dear life like he never wants to let go. “I'm so sorry Yixing, I'm so sorry” Sehun repeats over and over while breathing in the familiar scent of butter cake. “I love you so much, and I'm so sorry” he whispered into the others hair. There's no promise that they'll get back together, there isn't a promise that they'll last forever but there's a ring in the top drawer Sehun bought a year ago for a special afternoon picnic in the park and it still has Yixing's name on it.

People are most definitely like paper cuts.

A/N: Sorry it took me so long to write this. I wanted to explain further why I think people are like paper cuts but I couldn't find the right words so I hope you understand what I meant, because when I think about people I think about paper cuts for some reason, and thus this is how the story started. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to end this on a angsty note or a good not so I decided to leave it vauge with some hope. The flashback section was quickly written while I had inspiration on my side so I'm sure there are quiet a few typo's or some of the tenses might be weird. I'll try to fix them if I notice them.

Anyways please enjoy these, 4,000 words of my (horribly ty) writing. Seriously though its terrible.

Enjoy and thank you for reading!  

and again sorry for my terrible writing is this wasn't whatt you thought it would be based on the description. I'm sorry.