The first time seunghyun met jiyong, he was so beautiful.

 Even though he couldn’t see his full face which was covered with an oxygen mask; he still could make out the heart shaped face, smooth jaw and cute little ears.

His face was so so pale, his blonde hair has so many red streaks on it; probably from the blood coming out somewhere around his head, his breath came in short puffs, but he was still very beautiful.

He was meant to approach him but he was hurriedly dragged by nurses and doctor to the operating room and he was left disappointed.

*

The second time he met jiyong, he could finally ask him his name (with or without him blushing and choking on his word was completely insignificant).

Jiyong was so much prettier when he smiled, and without the oxygen mask he could clearly see his cute button nose, his plump lips, and how he liked to cover his mouth with the back of his hand when he laughed.

He asked jiyong for coffee and he agreed, so he stood up to help jiyong got up and he kept his arms around the small of his back so that he wouldn’t fall. When they walked (on jiyong’s part, wobbled) through the street everyone was looking at them, seunghyun didn’t care; but jiyong did.

Jiyong felt ashamed, anger, and devastated but he couldn’t do anything. It was his condition and no one could help him. Those emotions were so clear on jiyong’s delicate feature that made seunghyun’s heart aches. So he stopped and crouched down in front of jiyong.

‘What’s wrong seunghyun?’

‘I don’t want you to be tired so I hope you can just hop on my back, what do you think?’

There were many emotions going through jiyong’s eyes and he could only catch one, gratitude.

Jiyong smiled and he clinged on seunghyun’s neck. He knew that seunghyun was a stranger but somehow, being with him felt warm and comfortable, and he hasn’t been feeling that way for such a long time.

Jiyong choked when he drank and seunghyun smiled. He patted his neck and told jiyong to sip slowly, and jiyong did. With that, jiyong knew. He just knew that seunghyun wasn’t a stranger, at least not anymore.

*

He was there, he was always there when jiyong started to struggle more on walking; when he started to hate eating because he would always choke and spit them out.

He was there too, soothing jiyong’s most cherished person in the world; his mom, when jiyong found it hard to speak. He was there, behind jiyong; pushing his wheelchair and helped jiyong’s mother by taking him to the hospital.

Seunghyun was always there, and jiyong felt grateful.

*

Jiyong cried when he couldn’t move his legs at all and seunghyun smiled. He erased jiyong’s tears and hugged him tight; he couldn’t even say that everything would be better, because both of them knew it just won’t. And he knew jiyong would cry harder whenever he said those lies.

He was helpless but he smiled, because jiyong needed an anchor. He wanted to cry too, with jiyong while cradle him in his arms but he smiled. Because jiyong didn’t need to feel burdened with someone else’s feeling.

When jiyong fall asleep, he wanted to cry but jiyong’s mother was there; already crying in his arms. So he would smile again and tried to calm her.

Jiyong’s mother is a very lovely woman. She raised jiyong alone because jiyong’s dad doesn’t care about us and I don’t care anymore was how she put it and she would always tell him about jiyong. Many things he didn’t know because jiyong couldn’t tell him anymore. His heart ache whenever he remember that.

 Jiyong was very soft and gentle, he knew now where did he get that and he was always happy to know more about jiyong.

*

‘s-s-seu-ss-‘

Seunghyun turned his head almost immediately and faced jiyong while holding his bony hand; he asked what’s wrong but jiyong only smiled. Seunghyun didn’t understand but he smiled back. He was confused for a while but then understood. Jiyong was saying that he was grateful, that he was happy to have him here. So he smiled very warmly to him; because he understood, and he wanted to make jiyong sure that he did understand him and he was grateful and happy too to have jiyong and all his flaws.

Then tears started to fell from jiyong’s beautiful brown eyes and his heart squeezed in his chest,jiyong cried and shook his head with so much effort seunghyun had to cup his face to make him stop.

‘jiyong, what’s wrong? Don’t cry, tell me where does it hurt, don’t cry. Ssh, please stop crying jiyong’

His voice cracked and he almost cried in front of jiyong, almost. But he made his mind and cradle jiyong’s head to his chest, kissing his always soft hair. He felt a drop of tears falling from his eyes and roughly brushed it off.

‘ssh, please don’t cry’

*

Jiyong was fast asleep on the hospital bed and seunghyun remember their first date.

Jiyong was so pretty with his hair already colored brown, black fitting pants, long grayish coat with a red t-shirt and a black rimmed glass perched on his cute nose. Seunghyun remember he smiled so brightly to him and wobbled to his side; he hugged jiyong and smiled too.

They had so much fun in the theme park even seunghyun did most of the ride alone; and then jiyong would ask seunghyun how did it felt to ride them and seunghyun would always answer him with a flirty smile. Jiyong laughed a lot that day and he wanted so badly to come back to that time yet he just wanted to stay with this jiyong, in his condition until nonexistence.

He remember too the first time he tried to kiss jiyong, it was the worst day of his life.

He pecked jiyong’s lips and pulled away almost immediately and jiyong blushed so hard he was as red as tomato. He laughed at jiyong’s reaction and tried to kiss him some more because his lips were just so addicting and sweet. But jiyong was so shy he tried to run away from him only to be warned that he just couldn’t run anymore by falling head first on the asphalt.

Seunghyun was too shocked he couldn’t register what happened until jiyong’s cough slapped him awake. He rushed to jiyong’s side only to find blood streaking down from his forehead and to the asphalt. He wiped the blood on jiyong’s forehead on instinct and put jiyong’s head on his lap, he quickly fished out his phone and called ambulance.

He could clearly remember when jiyong was dragged by the nurses to emergency room , his face was pale because of the blood lost, his usually full with twinkle brown eyes were red because of the tears and between choking on his tears he could hear jiyong whisper to him,

‘seunghyun, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry’

Seunghyun felt a bony hand nudged him and he jolted alive only to find jiyong awoken from his sleep with frown and confusion written on his beautiful face. Just then he realized that he had been crying while remembering their past, so he brushed off the tears and beams at jiyong.

Jiyong didn’t buy it and nudged him more; he only laughed and then caressed jiyong’s cheek with his thumb. Jiyong had become devastated and tried to open his mouth to stutter something to seunghyun but his voice just wouldn’t come. His eyes widened in fear and he looked at seunghyun to seek for answer, but seunghyun didn’t know. He wouldn’t know if he didn’t tell him but his voice-

Realization hit him and he bowed his head down, trying to hide his cry from seunghyun. His shoulder shaking while he cried and seunghyun knew there was something wrong. He rushed out of the room and looked for nurse, doctor, just anyone who could examine, do something; just do something and save jiyong.

Do something and took the nightmare away from them.

Anyone,

 Just anyone. Please.

*

‘You are wasting your time with that sick boy seunghyun. You should leave him and look for a nice girl to be wth you! He is not worth your time, he will die soon anyway, please just leave him already!’

‘Jiyong doesn’t waste my time, mother. He is worth and everything else for me, so please, if you are here to insult him, please just go mother. I think you are the one who waste my time here’

Seunghyun was burning with anger but he held himself because it was his mother, but when a slap was placed across his cheek he just couldn’t hold it anymore.

‘Mother.Please. go. I don’t know what I will do to you if you stay here any longer.’

He was glad his mother did go; even with a huff of irritation, because he didn’t know what he would really do to his own mother if she was to continue her insult to jiyong. He sighed and open jiyong’s hospital room door with a click, he looked inside and found jiyong looking at him with desperate eyes. He smiled to him and tried to kiss his hair only to be denied by jiyong himself. Seunghyun frowned,

‘What’s wrong, ji?’

He was answered with jiyong turning his face in another direction and jiyong never did this. So he took the alphabet learning paper on the bedside table and faced it to jiyong.

Jiyong took a deep breath before he started to lift his hand slowly to point at each alphabet to made sentences that he wanted to say.

S-O-R-R-Y  P-L-E-A-S-E  G-O  I  M-A-K-E  Y-O-U  A-N-D  Y-O-U-R  M-O-M  Q-U-A-R-R-E-L

‘Jiyong, no. What are you saying? It’s okay, my mom was just a bit mad. And it’s not your fault, please stop saying sorry’

Jiyong only closed his eyes; tears already streaming down his face, shaking his head slowly.

And then seunghyun cried.

It was the first time seunghyun cried in front of jiyong, and jiyong felt so hurt. He was so hurt because he made seunghyun cry again. He knew, he always knew how seunghyun always cry in then night when he thought he was asleep. Jiyong knew but he didn’t say anything, because seunghyun never tell him anything, so he thought maybe he wanted to keep it as a secret.

But that time, seunghyun cried so hard in front of him. He crashed down to the floor and cried; jiyong didn’t know what to do. He wanted to go by his side and soothe him but he barely can lift his arms. He wanted seunghyun to get up and hug him and stop crying, but he couldn’t talk.

So jiyong sat there, watching the love of his life crying to himself on the floor while jiyong himself cried silently.

Jiyong thought seunghyun would leave him after that day, but he was wrong.

 So so wrong.

 Seunghyun stayed, he had always stayed. And jiyong felt he didn’t deserve this man, but in the same time felt abundance of gratitude towards him.

*

‘Come on, ji. Just one last time? I swear this is going to be your last spoon okay?’

It was clear that jiyong didn’t want it but he needed to eat something. He has gotten so thin; his once chubby cheeks had gone and his hands are getting bonier. Jiyong then nodded with effort and open his mouth for seunghyun.

Seunghyun smiled in content and stared at jiyong with loving eyes. JIyong smiled back at him while munching on the tasteless hospital made porridge. He gulped it down but choked on it, seunghyun stood up and patted jiyong to ease his throat but he kept furiously coughing.

In a matter of seconds, jiyong’s breath was heaving and his face was so pale like he couldn’t breathe and he was groaning in pain while struggling to inhale oxygen.

Seunghyun ran out and call the doctor who took care of jiyong and tried to explain what happened while panting but failed so he drag the doctor to the room and found jiyong already passed out on the bad, his body looked so weak and pale.

After that, everything was blurry for seunghyun. He was shouted by the doctor to call the nurses and they made seunghyun stay outside and wait and closed jiyong’s door. He was sliding down to the floor with tears streaming down his face.

Jiyong is like this because of you. It’s because of you seunghyun. You almost killed jiyong, or even had killed him…

It’s because of you.

The sound of door opening jerked seunghyun up from his position; he faced the doctor and asked what happened to his love,

‘It’s getting worse, I don’t think he could eat anymore in the meant time. But we will see, until then please look after Jiyong, son’

*

‘seunghyun, I think you should go home. You haven’t sleep and you are always here, aren’t you tired? I don’t want you to get sick, so go home and rest okay?’

‘No auntie. I can’t go; I don’t know what will happen and i- I just- I’m scared auntie, I’m scared’

Jiyong’s mother hugged him so tight and he cried again.

I really am. I’m really scared.

Jiyong…

*

End of part 1

A/N: i'm so lazy to edit this, so sorreh cause i know there are many grammar errorssssssssSSSSsss

i'm sleepy, k bye