Story Title: Split 1004

Author: jajampongs_do

Reviewer: inseparated

Title- 3/5

The tittle is cool, I must say. You even put the meaning of '1004' in the foreword. However, it would be nice if you explain why the tittle is 'Split 1004'. I mean, what is 'Split 1004' exactly? Why 'Split 1004'?

Graphic/ Poster- 4/5

It's a nice poster and it match well with the simple background.

Foreword/Description- 14/15

Description is okay. Grammar or spelling mistakes will be mentioned later. Foreword is pretty much good.

Characterization- 8/10

I'm satisfied with the way you bring out their personalities. I understand pretty much most of the character's traits and I'm sure the readers feel the same.

Grammar/ Spelling- 18/30

Your grammar and spelling is really good, however I noticed that there's some weird sentences here and there. It's not weird but I will point out how you should've write it.

(Description) Kyungsoo thought his new neighbour, Jo Cheon Sa, was normal.
(+) Kyungsoo thought that his new neighbour, Jo Cheon Sa, was normal.
(Some notes) Of course, I only add in 'that' into the sentence. Look, some words are not that necessary for you to use or for you to include in your sentence. Still, in this case, 'that' is perfect for that sentence.

(Description) Let me share you story.
(+) Let me share you a story.
(Some notes) Yes, another one word. I noticed that you didn't really care about simple words that might have been the right one to make your sentence perfect and that you should've use all of the time. You should've known that 'Let me share you story' doesn't fit well since you're good in grammar and spelling.

(Prologue) I thought it was just the way she is but maybe normal was not the right word to put it.
(+) I thought it was just the way she is but maybe normal was not the right word to describe her.
(Some notes) 'to put it' is seriously not going to fit in the sentence. I'm confused when I read it. You're probably trying to show that with this sentence; 'normal was not the right word to put it', trying to express that Jo Cheon Sa was not a normal person. Then why did you use 'to put it'? You're trying to express who's Jo Cheon Sa is so 'to describe her' is better than 'to put it'.

(Prologue) That night, we eat and Jongin was there.
(+) That night, we ate and Jongin was there.
(Some notes) You're using 'Past tense', so 'eat' is not the right word there, am I right?

(Prologue) He handed me a gift that looked odd with the wrapper and some thorns were showing.
(?) He handed me a gift that looked odd and it's wrapped with a wrapper that's decorated with thorns.
(Some notes) What are you trying to say? Are you trying to say that Jongin handed the gift along with the gift's wrapper and that the gift got thorns somewhere around it? That's what exactly came into my mind when I saw that sentence. So, I assume 'a gift that looked odd and it's wrapped with a wrapper that's decorated with thorns' is what you're trying to say here.

(Prologue) "No, problem", he said.
(+) "No problem", he said.
(Some notes) If he's hesitating, you may put '"No.. problem",' and to me, that sentence is wrong. Don't put the coma before 'problem'.

(Chapter 3: Isolation) All I understood was, I have to stop working.
(+) All that I knew was, I'll have to stop working.
(Some notes) 'Understood' doesn't fit in that sentence.

(Chapter 4: Mystified) My coughing that was making my chest hurt,stopped but in exchange was wheezing while I breathe.
(+) When I coughed, my chest hurt. But when they stopped, I started to wheeze when I'm breathing.
(Some notes) It's like you translated your own language using Google Translator to English. Pardon me if your first language is English.

This are some of the mistakes, there's a lot more. But it's impossible for me to correct all of them, am I right? If you want the rest of the mistakes I've noticed, you may ask for them from me. But it will take a lot of time as I have a very busy life outside of this website.

Plot/ Storyline/ Originality- 22/25

The plot, the storyline and the originality of this story is great. Even the flow of this story is good. I don't have much to comment for this section since everything seems fine, so that's all.

Personal Enjoyment- 8/10

I like this story. Not to mention but I love this kind of story. Stories with this kind of genres is definitely my style.

Total: 77/100

Reviewer’s Note:

I hope that you'd learned something from this review. I'm sorry if I'm being a little bit too strict when I review this story but if I'm told to rank how strict I am from 1-10 I would say it's somewhere from 8-10. I got a lot of tips and advices for you. If you need my help, then you can PM me anytime that you want. I'm not that good in writing too. So, I hope you will request from us again!