Being in love .

Those are the words that replayed in Sehun’s mind over and over again, enough to make him believe that it does to be in love. For one, it was that annoying feeling of jealousy. That racing of heartbeat against your heavy chest, painful and worrisome, fearing that the person you are in love with either never loved you back or would soon fall out of love with you. For the whole day that day, Sehun could only feel this bothersome emotion and nothing else.

It wasn’t his idea to keep it a secret. When they kissed, Sehun had been so happy that he managed to confess to the boy he has had his eyes on for so long, and to hear that the boy feels the same. He understood when Byun Baekhyun asked if they could keep it a secret for a while, because he knew how long Baekhyun took to accept that he was biual. Sehun wanted to give the older more time to adjust before telling the rest of their band mates about it.

However, keeping it a secret was harder than it seemed. He found himself attached to Baekhyun for the rest of their days as he couldn’t let go; Baekhyun being so irresistible all the damn time. Whenever their band mates teased them about being together, Baekhyun would tell Sehun to slow down a little bit, that they should spend some time apart so the members won’t start to believe what they’re actually teasing them about. Sehun wasn’t hurt, not really, but yeah, it stung.

It was not until that one night that Sehun thought of something, after suffering the whole day away from Baekhyun and watching his secret boyfriend cling to Chanyeol instead. He went to LuHan, the oldest Chinese male and the hyung he was closest to, in hopes that the older could help him with the plan he’d thought of. He was going to make Baekhyun jealous.

LuHan, of course, needed to know why he would have to be inseparable from Sehun, so Sehun had to tell him that he’d been seeing Baekhyun secretly for a while now. He was guilty for even telling, but it seemed that LuHan already knew even before he said a word. LuHan, being the best hyung, agreed to work with Sehun into making Baekhyun jealous out of his wits.

It seemed like the tables have been him instead.

Before he could even latch himself to LuHan, he woke up to Baekhyun half-, hair wet with only a towel on. At first he didn’t mind it at all if not it only made him his lips, his thoughts going down south about how he wants to run his hands all over that pale skin. But then Chanyeol got out of the bathroom Baekhyun was from, and Sehun broke inside. They showered together. Shower. With Chanyeol. Sehun swore his teeth would break soon after gritting them so hard.

He decided he shouldn’t show Baekhyun any mercy.

That day all twelve members went to a special premiere of GDragon’s One Of Kind World Tour, and fully aware that Baekhyun was watching him, Sehun purposely fed LuHan popcorn, before pretending to wipe a non-existent stain from the Chinese’s bottom lip. Out of the corner of his eyes, he saw Baekhyun glare at them both; angrily turning to Chanyeol before suggesting that they should just share the straw of their drink instead of taking two straws.

Throughout the day, Baekhyun happened to turn just in time as LuHan would wrap his hand beneath Sehun’s chin, faces so close even Sehun thought the older might kiss him. The fans are all restless of course, after having seen so much of HunHan and Baekyeol, cameras non-stop snapping pictures after pictures that would eventually inspire fanfiction writers to write even more. Baekhyun, too, did manage to make Sehun so jealous he was so close to tearing out his hair.

When the night ended and they head back to their dorm, LuHan was still doing a good job at clinging to Sehun, but by this time Sehun was sure Baekhyun and Chanyeol got into another one of their fights, and were sitting far from each other. Sehun watches Baekhyun from where he sits, and he couldn’t help but feel bad because his boyfriend definitely looked sad; his eyes weren’t sparkling the way Sehun loves it. It saddens him because, well, he couldn’t bear to see the older hurt, and hurt by him. At some point, he saw Baekhyun secretly jab at his eyes.

Baekhyun disappeared into his room as soon as they reached their dorm and Sehun took this opportunity to thank LuHan for his help. He took time taking a shower, getting into his pajamas, before he slid into Baekhyun’s room, finding the older already in bed, a blanket over his small body. Sehun let out a soft sigh upon the sight of his boyfriend, attempting to sleep even though it was just half past nine. It broke him to know that he had hurt the boy he so loved.

Quietly he slid under the covers next to Baekhyun, wrapping an arm around the shorter male. Baekhyun flinched just slightly of shock, but soon his body relaxed in Sehun’s arm. Sehun leaned in and lets his lips touch the nape of Baekhyun’s neck, closing his eyes and breathing in Baekhyun’s scent. He opens his eyes at the sound of Baekhyun’s sob, getting up and supporting his upper body weight on his elbow so he could look at the older boy, who was quickly wiping at his eyes. Sehun’s chest weighed heavier than it did when he was just jealous.

“Hyung, I’m sorry.” He muttered softly.

A sob from Baekhyun. “You .”

“I know,” Sehun raised his hand to take Baekhyun’s in his, squeezing it gently.

“And why am I even crying for this ? .” Baekhyun whined, and Sehun couldn’t help but chuckle at it, placing a kiss on Baekhyun’s cheek.

“Because you’re scared LuHan hyung and I might, you know..” Sehun contributed but Baekhyun only glared up at him.

“If you don’t like me and Chanyeol spending so much time together, you could’ve just said so.”

Sehun sighed as Baekhyun shifted and turned so they were facing each other. “It’s not that I don’t like you and Yeol hyung spending time together. I can’t stop that. You two are best friends. I just don’t like it that we’re not spending any time together.”

Baekhyun’s expression softened at this and he went to caress Sehun’s cheek. “It’s my fault. I’m sorry. We’ll tell them about us soon, okay?”

Sehun frowned and shook his head, once again taking Baekhyun’s hand. “No, no. I’m willing to wait until you’re ready. But I just missed you, and I want to spend time with you, hyung.”

Baekhyun snuggled further into Sehun’s neck, “I missed you too.”

The younger smiled at this, kissing Baekhyun on his forehead. He tilted Baekhyun’s face up by his chin so the older was looking at him. He kisses those pretty, pouty lips that belonged to Baekhyun, and he savored this very moment, carving it in his mind so he would remember it even ten years from now. Baekhyun kisses him back and nothing was more beautiful than this.

“We’ll tell them when you’re ready, but I hope you’ll be ready soon.” Sehun breathlessly mumbled against Baekhyun’s lips.

Baekhyun let out a soft moan, causing Sehun to shudder. “Keep kissing me like that. I’ll be ready in no time.”

Sehun grinned, “Gladly.”

And he does.