JiSoo is running late. Her boyfriend told her he had a surprise for her and to meet him at his apartment at 3 that afternoon. It is currently 3:30. She didn’t mean to run late, but her roommate had accidentally given herself a concussion, so JiSoo had to take her to the hospital, which was on the opposite side of town from her boyfriend’s apartment.

 

She practically runs out of the elevator when it reaches the 11^th floor and pauses outside of her boyfriend’s apartment to collect herself. She pulls out her copy of the key and lets herself in.

 

“DongHae, I’m here!” JiSoo calls out, walking into the living room. She freezes in her spot when she sees what the surprise is.

 

“Jagiya~” DongHae pulls her into a hug, pressing a kiss to her cheek. JiSoo remembers to respond at the last minute. She smiles at him, leaning into his touch. He pulls away, keeping an arm wrapped around her waist. “Look who’s back from China with his license to practice law? Our favorite snarky friend Cho—”

 

“KyuHyun,” JiSoo breathes out. How long has it been since her lips have formed that name? Five years? Six?

 

“Hey, JiSoo. You look every little bit of a poodle as you did when I left.” KyuHyun smirks but JiSoo catches the hint of amazement in his eyes.

 

“You’re still as much of an asswipe, I see,” JiSoo retaliates, though it seems to have less bite than it usually does. DongHae, always oblivious, wraps an arm around KyuHyun and pulls him into a group hug.

 

“Ah, this is great! The Three Musketeers are reunited~” DongHae says cheerfully. KyuHyun’s stare is making JiSoo uncomfortable and she avoids his eyes.

 

When DongHae said he had a surprise for her, this was last thing on her mind.

 

--

 

KyuHyun returning to Korea proved to be every bit of painful as JiSoo imagined it to be. Honestly, she though that he would take the usual seven or eight years to get his license to practice law, and that, by that time, she would be married to DongHae. It would have made this easier if she had been married to DongHae. At least that way she was morally and legally bound to not feel things for KyuHyun. She supposes she shouldn’t be surprised that he graduated early; he always was three centimeters away from genius. Unfortunately, that means that he came back earlier, which means that JiSoo isn’t married to DongHae, which means she is only morally bound to not feel things for KyuHyun rather than both morally and legally. And as much as JiSoo tries to be a good person she can’t help but break the rules.

 

DongHae insists that the three of them spend every mutually free moment together to make up for six years of missing childhood. JiSoo tries to get out of it by insisting that it couldn’t have been childhood if they were all over 18 when KyuHyun left. KyuHyun tries to keep her there by insisting that she was a kid until she turned 20, and that DongHae is still a kid. KyuHyun wins, unfortunately.

 

--

 

One day, something happens that JiSoo has been trying to keep from happening ever since KyuHyun came back. The three of them are gathered in DongHae’s living room, all squeezed onto the couch watching Finding Nemo—despite having watched it a thousand times before neither of them could say no to DongHae’s pleading puppy dog face. DongHae excuses himself from the room so he can use the restroom. KyuHyun and JiSoo are left alone.

 

“So, when did you and DongHae become a thing?” KyuHyun’s voice is still filled with the usual sharpness, but it’s a lot quieter than normal. JiSoo wonders whether or not she should answer the question; she’s afraid of where this conversation will go.

 

“He asked me out four months after you left.” The room seems to get quieter and darker. KyuHyun’s bangs fall into his eyes as he looks down at the floor.

 

KyuHyun’s voice is so soft, so sad, that JiSoo barely catches what he says next. “I asked you to wait.”

 

JiSoo’s heart lurches forward as if it’s trying to break free of some cage, but she wills herself to stay strong. This isn’t what she wants. KyuHyun isn’t who she wants. She has a great life now and she knows things will be even better if she spends the rest of her days with DongHae.

 

“Kyu…How long did you expect me to wait? Six years? That’s…impossible…”

 

“Aw, guys! I asked you to pause the movie while I was gone!” DongHae returns with a loud entrance, just like always, and plops himself down on the couch between JiSoo and KyuHyun. “Was that really so hard to do?” KyuHyun’s stare reaches into JiSoo’s soul and she knows he’s repeating DongHae’s question over and over again in his mind. Was that really so hard to do?

 

“Impossible,” JiSoo lets the word fly into the air, never breaking eye-contact with KyuHyun. She expects his gaze to harden with anger but instead she sees something break inside of him and, for once in his life, KyuHyun seems so impossibly small and fragile. JiSoo almost has to leave the room; it’s almost too much. Almost.

 

--

 

JiSoo throws a jab at the punching bag.

 

I asked you to wait.

 

She push-drags to the right and comes in for a knife hand.

 

Was that really so hard to do?

 

She throws her hardest reverse punch and yells in frustration.

 

JiSoo, I’ll be gone for a while, you know. Make sure you’re still head-over-heels in love with me when I come back, though!

 

JiSoo pants heavily, slumping to the floor to rest. She came to the gym in an effort to get her mind off of KyuHyun but it only made things worse. She wishes she could go back in time and undo every blush that covered her cheeks, every fluttering heartbeat, and every stupid wish thrown in the fountain in the form of a penny. She wishes she could go back in time and warn her younger self about the dangers of loving KyuHyun.

 

A selfish KyuHyun. JiSoo was young and stupid and she fell in love with a selfish KyuHyun. KyuHyun never once said he loved her, never once went public about his feelings for her. And when he left, that did it for JiSoo. He left, warning her to still be in love with him when he came back. He didn’t mention that he wanted her to still love him because he will still love her—no. He was selfish and JiSoo hates him.

 

But she hates herself more.

 

Because even after all these years, she’s still head-over-heels in love with him.

 

--

 

“Hey, JiSoo, are you okay? Lately you’ve seemed pretty out of it.” DongHae looks at JiSoo with a worried expression. He links their hands together and squeezes in an effort to comfort his girlfriend. JiSoo half-heartedly smiles at him. She curses her life at the moment. She used to be so sure that she had forgotten KyuHyun and that she was completely in love with DongHae, but one look at KyuHyun’s face caused a tidal wave of unrequited love and repressed emotion to crash over her.

 

“I’ve just been tired lately,” JiSoo gives a weak excuse, but it isn’t that much of a lie. She’s been taking on extra shifts to avoid seeing KyuHyun and she’s been going to the gym more often to avoid thinking about KyuHyun. DongHae frowns—he knows she’s lying—but decides to drop the issue. He looks at KyuHyun who is sitting across from them on the bus, knocked out, his head leaning on the window.

 

“KyuHyun’s been pretty tired lately too. He’s taken up a lot of cases and he doesn’t get much sleep because of that.” DongHae sighs. “I barely got him to go out with us today. It’s like he’s been avoiding me for the past month.” DongHae pouts and JiSoo feels an immense amount of guilt. Her problems with KyuHyun are keeping DongHae from hanging out with his best friend that he’s missed hanging out with for the past six years.

 

“I don’t think it’s you, Hae. He’s probably just really caught up with being a lawyer, like you said.” JiSoo tries her best to sound convincing but she knows it sounds like empty comfort. DongHae sighs, pulling his hand away from hers and leans his head against the window. JiSoo doesn’t know what to do.

 

--

 

They arrive at the park they used to go to when they were younger and DongHae’s energy level is back up, though not to where it usually is. He breathes in the fresh air and runs around the park. JiSoo laughs as she watches him fondly, forgetting for only a moment that she still has to deal with KyuHyun.

 

KyuHyun casually strolls ahead of her, talking with an animated DongHae about something she can’t quite hear. Suddenly DongHae seems to get a lot more serious, looking back at JiSoo before saying something to KyuHyun. She has no idea what they’re saying, but whatever it is it must be important, considering the fact that KyuHyun has stopped walking. As JiSoo gets closer to them DongHae pulls KyuHyun to start walking again. DongHae is still talking but KyuHyun isn’t looking anywhere but his feet. JiSoo can barely make out the words ‘okay’, ‘try’ and ‘love’. She gets a feeling she doesn’t like what they’re talking about.

 

Suddenly DongHae breaks into a smile that is way too cheerful and it’s actually scaring JiSoo. He leaves KyuHyun and runs back to her. He kisses her fully on the lips and when he pulls away JiSoo swears there are tears in his eyes.

 

“DongHae, what is—”

 

“I’m breaking up with you,” DongHae explains. He’s still smiling, but there’s hurt written all over his face.

 

“Wait a minute…what?”

 

“You should go talk with KyuHyun.”

 

“I don’t want to! DongHae, why are you breaking up with me?”

 

“Because I know you want to talk with KyuHyun. I’ve always known, JiSoo. I selfishly asked you to date me at a time when I knew you were so upset you would say yes. I’ve known this entire time that you still love KyuHyun. You may like me a lot, but I know you love KyuHyun.” DongHae’s tears are spilling now. JiSoo reaches up to wipe them away with his shaking fingers but he shakes his head. Instead, he wipes the tears that JiSoo had no idea were there off her face. He kisses her on the forehead.

 

“DongHae…but, I—” DongHae shakes his head again.

 

“Go, JiSoo. You’ve been waiting for six years. It must’ve been hard.”

 

JiSoo doesn’t even register the response she gives because her feet have already begun speeding towards KyuHyun—but DongHae heard it: “It was almost impossible”.

 

JiSoo runs and runs and KyuHyun seems impossibly far away, but she keeps running anyway. She’s calling his name and all of this seems surreal; she feels like she has no control over her actions, like DongHae setting her free every hidden desire in her being and that is what she’s being run on.

 

She’s breathing heavily between tears when she reaches KyuHyun. He turns around and there’s an unreadable emotion on his face.

 

“JiSoo…it was a long six years for me too,” KyuHyun mumbles. “I left because I wanted to become someone worthy of your attention. When we were kids you were always chasing me around, but I felt like I didn’t deserve your attention yet, so I left.”

 

“You’re really dumb.” JiSoo catches her breath, staring at KyuHyun incredulously. He smirks.

 

“You said you didn’t wait, but you did, didn’t you?” KyuHyun’s cockiness—something a younger JiSoo mistook for attractive confidence—is back up and running.

 

“I didn’t wait for you, you jerk.” Despite the harshness in her voice, JiSoo is grinning. “My heart waited for you, though.”

 

“That’s all I need. I’ll get the rest of you eventually.” KyuHyun is smiling at her now, smiling and not smirking, and JiSoo feels an old, familiar sensation of her heart flying. Over the past six years she’s forgotten what it’s like to feel so alive.

 

“I don’t know, Kyu. I’m not an easy woman; it’ll be pretty hard.”

 

“But it’s not impossible.” KyuHyun’s lips twitch into a smirk again and then he’s laughing, the first real laugh JiSoo has heard from him since he’s returned to Korea.

 

“So, you know…um, I like you—”

 

“Wait.” JiSoo swears if she gets cut off again she’ll punch someone in the face, but KyuHyun’s face is so serious that she lets it slide. “When we were younger you always talked about how we would date and then get married. And we’d have a nice house and we’d have two kids together and I would always argue that we would have four. And we’d have a pet cat and a pet dog and we’d grow old together and see our kids have kids.”

 

“Uh yeah, that’s embarrassing, Kyu.” JiSoo’s face is a bright red.

 

“No, no it’s not. I always said that you had great dreams, but now…now I want you to know I can make all of that happen. I want to make all of that happen. I want to date you, and then marry you, and then buy you the house you want, and then have four kids with you, and then grow old with you. I want to do all of that and I’m willing to make it happen.” KyuHyun steps closer to JiSoo, taking her hand in his.

 

“KyuHyun…I…I love you,” JiSoo breathes out. She never thought she’d be caught in such a cheesy, cliché situation but she doesn’t really mind. KyuHyun pulls her into a hug and holds her tightly. It occurs to JiSoo that this is the first time in six years that she’s felt so content.

 

“I love you too, JiSoo,” KyuHyun murmurs into JiSoo’s ear.

 

“But four kids is a bit extreme. Two is better,” JiSoo mentions jokingly when they pull away. KyuHyun gets a dangerously mischievous look in his eye.

 

“But it’s not impossible.” KyuHyun laughs and JiSoo rolls her eyes, hitting him playfully.

 

“You’re impossible.”