Kim Kibum,

From what point in time did you begin to love me? 

Was it our surprising first kiss?

Our messy, awkward first date?

The first time we made love?

I've always wondered, were those things as hard for you as they were for me? Did a person like me flaw your flawless lifestyle?

People like us weren't destined to be together, we were destined to be as far away from eachother as possible. 

The last thing I ever wanted to do was trample your heart, Kibum.

Trust me on that.

I loved you.

I cherished you.

But I knew we'd never make it in this world, not together anyway.

When I held you tightly at night I felt...right...Safe... it seemed ginuwine. Everytime I pressed my lips sweetly on yours, it made me believe that love is real....that happy endings do come true. 

Was I wrong to think that?

It's easy to say it was all my fault.

It was..

What I did was awful and I know you went cold when you found out.

I saw it in your eyes, when you smiled, while you slept.

At first, it was suttle, a response of only tears. But later on I knew it wasn't going to be okay. Nothing about us would ever be Okay again..

But... Would you believe me if I said I was sorry?

That we all make mistakes?

Yes, I cheated! I'll be the first to admit..

but I'm certainly not selfish.

What I did, Bum.. it hurt you.

It killed you.

So please, find someone new.

Be with someone who doesn't ruin the light you bring to a room.

Be happy.

Just don't come back to me.

The person who played with you, and ran to someone elses arms. Even if it was a mistake, it was a mistake to much.

I promise not to go back to her, if that what your thinking..

I'll stay alone.

Move on well, make me jealous, stab my heart a million times.. Just be happy with someone else.

I packed my stuff and left the house.

Your stuff is in the dumpster, It was to hard to keep. 

However, we may be together for a few more days, because this letter may not reach you for awhile.

Heaven is a long ways away.

Goodbye Kibum, I love you.

,Jonghyun