“Freedom!” I think to myself. After promotions in Japan and preparing for our comeback in Korea, hyung was kind enough to give us all a day off. Yoseobbie and the rest of the hyungs have a short recording this morning but should be done later this afternoon. I hope we go get good food afterwards. I salivate thinking about rice and pepper chili crab. Mmm. There’s a bounce in my step as I feel refreshed and happy to be out among people, a few random chances I get to ride on the subway again. It’s exhilarating being among a sea of people but I still have to be careful. I pull my hat a little lower over my recently dyed blonde hair. Gee, way to stick out, Woonie-ah. I shake that sweet voice and giggle from my head and turn up the volume to my headphones. I memorize this pain and store it in my 'reasons to forget Mina' lockbox in my heart. The hurt has lessened but it still lingers.   

It’s so silly because I even avoid saying her name sometimes. Junhyung makes fun of me telling me, “she’s not Voldemort, babo..” I know, but still.

I don’t ask but I gather bits of info about her, sometimes I even stalk her on twitter seeing her picture at parties and events. I know she comes back and forth to Korea. Kikwang hyung is still really good friends with her. He talks to her often, and he sees her when she's visiting Korea. She is still the closest with him and Junhyung. But me? We haven’t talked for months. Not after what happened. But even in the most busiest moments, I still look for her face in the crowd.

My thought are interrupted when I felt a slight tug on my jacket. I look down to a smiling face of a little girl, wearing a poofy dress and her hair in pigtails.

“Dongwoon oppa?” she whispers with wide eyes, her face glowing and an excited smile. “is that you?”

Getting down on one knee, I look her in the face and smile making a shush sign. “Yes. But let’s keep it a secret ok?” She nodded eagerly, happy to share a secret with her favorite idol.

“Are you being a ninja?” she whispers, her eyes darting around like a little spy. She glances at her parents who are oblivious to our conversation.  

I laugh shaking her tiny hand. “Yes, I guess you can say that.”

She looks worriedly at her parents waving for her to come sit down. “I have to go oppa but…can I get a hug?” she glances at me with hope and shyness.

I give the little girl a big bear hug, rewarding her for her braveness, “Saranghae my little b2uty..”

She squealed and waved goodbye. “Saranghae Dongwoon oppa!”

I smile as I stand up, straightening my white t-shirt and adjusting my hat. I fidget with my phone, but out of the corner of my eye I notice a short long haired girl squeeze into the crowded train tripping over her high wedges. She makes her way through the crowd toward an empty pole oblivious to the hungry stares around her, her headphones wedged tightly in her ears.

Mina.

I can’t help but feel oddly relieved. Like I just knew that she’d show up again one day and here she is. She is still as beautiful as ever. Her hair now dyed to a lighter brown, her skin still flushing a light porcelain pink and her face registers her constant pout. Her signature short shorts. Silly girl will never learn to wear proper pants, I smile to myself. Going against my brain, I push through the throngs of people and get closer standing almost behind her. I take in her strawberry scented hair, she still smells exactly the same I think with genuine fondness.

Just as I was about to tap her on the shoulder, the subway stops abruptly and I bump right into her. Nervously Mina looks over her shoulder,  annoyed at the sudden invasion of space. Her face registers surprise.

“YA!”

“...Dongwoon-ah?”

“Hey…” I smile nervously, fixing my hair and straightening my shirt out of nervousness. “Mianhae..”

We both stare at each other amazed, “How have you been?” we both ask at the same time. She laughs. “You first..” I say, feeling flushed just from her sweet smile, the small crinkle in her eye teasing. We are so close, I was scared she could hear my heart beating out of my chest.

“Oh! Well, I started working for Vogue Korea as a junior editor. I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE  it. I just moved back here long term about maybe 3 weeks ago?” Mina exclaims, her hands waving animatedly, a huge smile lighting up her face. “It’s such a good opportunity for me and it’s so fun.. I love the..what’s wrong, woonie-ah?”

I flinch at the sound of the familiar nickname. “Nothing Mina!” I say softly. “ I just haven’t seen you in a long, long time.” It is so Mina to be oblivious to the fact we haven't talked in nearly a year.

She blushes, looking up between her long lashes, “It has, hasn’t it? My Dongwoon has matured into such a handsome man.” She teases.

“How would you know?” I ask, the question spilling out more harshly than I intended. I just really wanted to know. "It's not like we talk."

Her smile falls a bit but she regains her composure. “Uh, I do have internet Dongwoon-ah. I watch all your performances and interviews. I am so proud of you.”

I can’t help but smile happily. She cares! She looked over me, after all this time! Time seems to fly forward as we fall into our old banter. I tell her silly stories about our recent showcases and crazy things Hyunseung says, trying my best to be charming and make her smile. Without fail, she laughs at my jokes and tells me about new job and it’s just like before. It’s like she never left.

“My stop is coming up, Woonie-ah..” she smiles, squeezing my arm sending electricity through my body. “It was great catching up with you.”

I nod dumbly, upset that our time together has to be so short again. “Mina..”

Swoosh. The doors swing open and she squeezes my arm one last time. “Bye, Woonie-ah. Take care..” she called as she gets swept in with the crowd. Her tiny frame disappearing into the crowd.

I can’t let her leave. “WAIT!” I push through the crowd, just barely making it out of the doors. “Sorry, sorry..” I mutter as I get through the busy subway foot traffic. Where is she? How can she walk so fast in those heels? Luckily my height helps as I scan the crowd but I see no sign of the petite girl. Flashbacks of me looking for her in the rain flood my mind. I rush out of the station.

“MINA!!!!” I yell, recognizing her green jacket and long legs walking across the street. I take off my hat and wave it around frantically. “MINAAAA!”

She turns in the middle of the street, looking confused as she always does. Ay, silly girl. “Dongwoon??”  she calls, finally catching my eye, taking out her headphones. She stops in the middle of the street with her hands on her hips. “WHAT???” she yells back.

I laugh and start running toward her. “Get out of the street!”

She pouts, “No! Tell me what you want first!”

“SO STUBBORN!” I yell, as a car honks swerving around her. She doesn’t even flinch. I grab her hand and yank her out of the street before a rush of traffic comes barreling down the street.

“Mina-ah!” I breathe heavily. “Why do you always insist on killing yourself?”

“Because I always know you’ll save me.”