You could enjoy reading it while listening to VIXX - Thank You For My Love song~ :)

You probably hated me all day

You still don’t know me, stupid

“What? You can’t get an off day at 5th?? But Dujunah.. didn’t we make a promise on that day?? You said you would come. Did you forget what day is it?”

“Yoseobah, I’m sorry I can’t. I’ve tried, but my boss wouldn’t let me have a day off.”

“I don’t care! I hate you!”

The phone was cut off harshly by Yoseob’s yell and the countless ‘Hello?’ by Dujun only being answered by a fast ‘tut tut tut tut’ sound.

Your birthday comes only once a year

How could I forget?

Dujun sighed. He knows Yoseob would hate him because of this. The 5th of January is his birthday and they always celebrate it together since they live together seven years ago. But Dujun can’t make it this year. The first time he said he can’t make it because of his work.

It’s been a while since Dujun moved to a prestigious oil and gas company and sitting as the project lead control. Meeting here and there, controlling his team and the contractor stole almost all of his time and there’re still a lot of work even on a New Year’s Eve like today. It’s obvious that Yoseob is angry. The boy had let him work on Xmas Eve and New Year’s Eve for the sake of a day off on the 5th, but Dujun still couldn’t come.

Dujun sat and rested his back on his chair, staring blankly at a pile of document on the table. Actually, he already finished two-thirds of his work for 1-4th of January. He only need to finish a one-third more to have a free time on the 5th, but he lied. He already had something in his mind.

It still feel like a dream

An angel is looking at me and smiling like this

Yoon Dujun, 22 years old, a graduate-class college student, Civil Engineering Department. He’s not the smartest nor the bad grades one. He always be in the middle for his studies.

Being an almost graduate student, he’s been searching here and there for a job. But the test has not been easy for him. All five test he’d done so far had been a failure and today, he failed again on the sixth time.

Walking with head hanging down and sighing, Dujun loosen his tie and buttoned off the first one. He didn’t pay attention with his surrounding until he heard a shout.

“Ahjussi! WATCH OUT!!!!!”

A kid jumps out from a tree and land down in front of Dujun. Dujun fell down, he stunned and shocked.

It was a boy, a head shorter than Dujun. His black hair is with some leaves from the tree sticking here and there. Some scratches on his super small face, maybe it was because of the twigs, Dujun assumed. He uses a school uniform, messy too, of course. And he’s holding something in his hands, hugging it tightly, a cat. He grinned at Dujun.

“Hello Ahjussi! Sorry I made you shock.”

I’m not an ahjussi, Dujun thought.

“I was climbing the tree to save this poor little kitten. He was separated from his omma.” He said again, a bright feel wrapped his childlike voice. It somehow feels comfort on Dujun’s ears, after having a bad day.

“Ahjussi? Are you okay?”

Dujun realized he’s still sitting on the asphalt road. He stands up and wiped the dirt from his pants. The boy bent down and took Dujun’s bag with his free hand, lending it to Dujun. He whispered a ‘Thank you’, too soft that the boy didn’t hear it.

“Ahjussi, you didn’t get hurt, aren’t you? I’m sorry if you get hurt because of me.” The boy looks at Dujun, searching for maybe some scratches or wounds somewhere.

“I’m okay.” Stopped Dujun, “It’s you who’s bleeding.”

“Eh?”

“Your elbow. Your face is full of scratches. Your pants ripped a bit and your knee…” said Dujun, pointing at the mentioned spots.

“ah! Ah! AAAH!” shouted the boy when he look at each of the place Dujun points, his voice rang loud on Dujun’s ears giving him a headache.

“Omma will be mad at me~” he said panic. “Ottokajji??? The boy’s eyes started to glisten with tears.

Dujun sighed. He doesn’t know who the boy is, he is totally a stranger to Dujun, but the boy really needs a first aid. And Dujun can’t let the boy going home like that. He must be scared of his mother if she founds out.

“Let’s go, I’ll take care of your wounds.” said Dujun, walking through the boy.

“Go? Where? Ahjussi where are we going?” asked the little boy, following Dujun behind.

“My house and stop calling me ahjussi, I’m not that old.”

“uhm.. okay.. so what’s your name, Ahjussi?”

Dujun frowned, but he answered, “Yoon Dujun.”

“Oh~ Dujun-ahjussi~! I’m Yang Yoseob! Nice to meet you!”

He smiled. A sunshine smile that brightens up Dujun’s day.

Dujun leads the way to his apartment room. It was a small but cozy apartment with only four floors, Dujun’s room, number 306, is at the third floor. He opened the door and let Yoseob in.

A small apartment with a small room, it’s easy to noticed that the owner is a soon to be graduated student. There’s a few unsettled paper scattered on the floor, some books here and there, some snacks left uneaten, a laptop left half opened on a small table near a mattress bed that hasn’t been folded and printer beside the table, thankfully it has been turned off, Yoseob thought. It was messy, but the boy likes it. It has a masculine aura coming from the room and he likes it.

“You can sit anywhere you want since I don’t have a chair.” Dujun said while he’s busy trying to find the first aid box.

Yoseob puts his bag down and sat on the edge of the mattress bed. He looks around and smile.

“I like your room.”

“What?”

“I like your room Ahjussi!”

Dujun frowned again, “I’ve told you don’t call me Ahjussi.” He said, pulling a first aid box that he finally found inside the drawer.

“Dujun-Ahjussi!” He said beaming like a kid.

“Just Dujun. I’m not that old.”

“Really? But you look like 27.. or 29?” Yoseob tilted his head, scanning Dujun’s face like a Pudding Camera Application.

“I’m only 22!” Dujun said at last. Yoseob looks at him, eyes widen, shocked.

“Don’t make such a face! I’m serious, I’m 22. I’m on my last year of college.”

“USOOOOOOOOOO!!!!” Yoseob shouted.

“Uso?”

“It’s a Japanese! Means ‘liar’. You don’t know? You don’t watch anime?” Yoseob asked again, voice bubbly as ever.

“No, I don’t watch.” Said Dujun. He sat in front of Yoseob, pulling out an iodine and a cotton. He poured the iodine on it and taps it lightly on Yoseob’s face.

Yoseob cringed by the cold feel when it touched his wounds, but then he smiled.

“Does it hurts?”

“It does a bit, but it’s not anymore, since you’re the one who’s putting it Ah--.. Dujun-ie?” Yoseob grinned, that bright grin again.

“Hyung!” said Dujun flicking his finger on Yoseob forehead, feeling embarrassed.

“Ouch! Hehehehhehehe Dujunie-hyung!”

It was almost 7 PM when Dujun finally finished sewing back Yoseob’s ripped pants. Yoseob had used it back, his wound and bruises also had been taken care, but there’s no sign of going home from the boy. He just stay sitting on Dujun’s mattress bed instead, watching Dujun typing his thesis.

“Ahj… Dujunie-hyung, What are you doing?”

“Revising my thesis.”

“Thesis? What is that?”

“Something a college student needs to make to graduate.” Dujun said patiently. “Hey kid, aren’t you going ho—“

“Ahjussi~ I’m hungry~”

Dujun sighed.

“I only have instant ramen, is it enough?”

Yoseob nods happily, “Yes! Yes, it’s okay! I promise I’ll go home after this.”

Yoseob did fulfilled his promise. After a delicious ramen by Ahjussi, he thanked Dujun and excused himself to go home.

Lonely and hard days won’t be scary if we’re together

I’ll give you things that always overflow

Dujun moves his attention from his laptop. He lied down on the mattress bed and rested his back. He took a glance on the clock hanging on the wall, it’s already 8 PM. He didn’t realized how the time had passed so fast that he had been in front of the monitor for about five hours. He even didn’t realized that it was raining outside. He took off the earphone from his ears and stands up to get a mug of hot chocolate.

He took a sip of the hot liquid enjoying the warm feels that run into his body. Half of the revision is almost done. He just hope his professor won’t make another revision on top of the revision again which is always Dujun away.

“knock knock”

Dujun suddenly noticed a soft knocked on his door. He waited a moment to make sure he didn’t only hearing things.

“knock knock”

The knocks came again. Dujun puts the choco mug on the small table near his laptop and walks to the door. When he opened the door, a body collapsed onto his, making him panicked.

“Hey hey.. What’s this? Hey, are you okay???” He said, holding the small and fragile body. He noticed it was the annoyingly bright kid he helped a few days ago, It was Yang Yoseob. His body is weak and full of bruises and scratches again, his clothes all wet by the rain.

Dujun carried Yoseob and lied him down on his bed. He took a bowl of hot water and a towel to clean the bruises.

“AAAAAAH! AHJUSSI IT HURTS!!”

“SSShhh! I’ll do it carefully, Yoseobah what happened? Why are you like this?”

But instead of answering, Yoseob cried. He cried out loud and Dujun doesn’t know what to do except hugging, hushing the boy down and comforting him the whole night.

Yoseob wokes up the next morning because of the lights that hit his face coming through the open window. His head heavy, an after effect of crying for a whole night. He noticed his school uniform had changed into a white buttoned shirt that buttoned in a messy way. It must be Dujun’s, because it’s too big for him. He saw his hands full with bandage, he believe it was Dujun’s work too. Yoseob took a glance at a mirror next to him, starring at his own reflection. There’s also a bandage on his face.

“Wake up already?” A gentle voice comes from behind.

Yoseob turned around and saw Dujun standing there holding a tray with a bowl and a glass of water. “I thought you might be hungry. So I made something easy for you to eat.”

It was a bowl of mushroom cream soup with a slice of bread already cut into small pieces of cubes so it’ll be easy to munch. A super hungry Yoseob ate it well. Dujun watched him as he took every single spoon until he finished. Dujun patted Yoseob’s head lovingly.

After cleaning all the dishes, Dujun sat back in front of his laptop, continuing his thesis. Yoseob watches him from behind, feeling awkward remembering what happened last night.

“Uhm.. Ahjussi.”

“Hmm?”

“Uhm.. aren’t you still curious about… about what happened last night?” Yoseob asked.

Dujun stopped typing and thinks, “I am. But I don’t want to force you to tell me if you’re not ready yet.” He turns around and smiled at Yoseob.

Dujun has got his attention back on his laptop. He whistles a song and continue typing some stuffs on it. Yoseob watches Dujun’s back again. His thoughts goes back and forth between telling or not telling. He gives up, he’ll tell Dujun. Ahjussi needs to know.

“I’m a bullied.”

Dujun stops whistling. He turns around and looked at Yoseob.

“Pardon me? I didn’t catch that.”

“I’m a bullied.”

“You must be kidding!”

“I’m not. I got all those bruises yesterday because my schoolmate.. because those ing kids hits me since I can’t give them money.”

“No way!” Dujun stunned, “I mean.. a bright kid like you..”

“I know right? I’m always bright like this every time I meet someone, but I think they bullied me because I’m too bright? I don’t know.” Said Yoseob. His expression changes bright again, talking nonsense.

“It was the worst last night. They kicked and punched me.. and even leave me under the rain. Ahjussi’s house is the nearest from school, that’s why I choose to go here rather than the orphanage.”

“The what?”

“Did I say something weird? Oh.. I didn’t say that right?”

“You said The Orphanage.”

“. So I did said that.”

“Watch your mouth kid.”

“Sorry. Okay since you heard I did say that.. yeah, I’m an orphan living in the orphanage.”

“But you said about “omma” when we first met?”

“We also have an ‘Omma’ in the orphanage, you think we don’t have one?”

“I mean.. err.. whatever..”

Dujun starred at Yoseob with sad eyes. He never thought a bubbly bright kid like this had a sad story behind his smile. While him, having both of his parents, healthy, he chooses to live alone.

“Don’t look at me like that. I don’t like it.” Said Yoseob. “Eventhough I have a though life, I’m still happy. And meeting Ahjussi made me happy even more!” He smiled, that bright smile again. It shines Dujun’s messy room and Dujun’s heart.

Dujun moves closer, he shoves the blanket away, patting Yoseob’s head and hugged the boy gently, resting his chin on Yoseob’s shoulder. Yoseob gasped.

“Do you want to stay with me?”

“Eh? Eeehh?? Ahjussi you’re joking right?” he pulled out from Dujun’s hug and looked at the older guy.

“No. I’m serious. Do you wanna live with me?”

“But.. but your room is already full with you. It’s too small for us. I don’t want to troubled you more.”

“I’m graduating soon. I’ll work hard to find a job and we’ll move to a bigger apartment soon. I’ll take care of you. Together is better than alone right?”

Yoseob is speechless. He doesn’t know how to answer the sweet offer. He sobbed instead, on Dujun’s broad chest, hugging him back.

I’m sorry I couldn’t express my heart for all this time

 I guess I was too shy to say I Love You

It’s been two years since then. Dujun had graduate with a good GPA, not too high nor too low, an average but a good one to apply to some good and prestigious company. And Dujun did got a good job right away after he graduated.

Ever since they lived together, Dujun always spend his time accompanying Yoseob to school in the morning and picking him up in the night. He did this to protect Yoseob from his bullies and it worked. His tall figure and his sharp gaze scares Yoseob’s schoolmate a lot. There’s also once, when Yoseob got home without his shoes and his bag being ripped, Dujun goes crazy and chased the culprit until he payed back a pair of new shoes and bag. Since then, the number of time Yoseob got bullied decreases.

They also moved to a bigger apartment after one year. It’s still small and cozy one, but it fits enough for the two of them.

It’s been two years, Dujun is now 25 years old and Yoseob is 18, a freshmen in his college. He’s in the Art and Music Department, starting his first year. Yoseob didn’t want to continue his study at first, but Dujun forced him to, he promised him that he’ll be the one who pays for the school fee. But Yoseob’s good grades and talents brings him to the top on his musical test, rewarded a scholarship for it.

Everything changes since Yoseob met Dujun. Everything changes since Dujun met Yoseob. But there’s one thing that hasn’t change, their (Dujun believe) brotherly relationship.

Dujun always care for Yoseob. He protects the boy just like his own little brother, but Junhyung, one of his workmate, said that what Dujun did had crossed the siblings relationship. It’s more than that.

Dujun do like Yoseob. He likes him a lot of course. How could he asked Yoseob to live with him if he dislikes the boy? But he doesn’t understand what kind of like it is. Yoseob also do care for Dujun. He always cheers up Dujun’s day. Brighten their room with his stories and laugther that Dujun loves the most.

But he still don’t understand what kind of feeling it is. No, actually he knows… but he locked it… deep down in his heart.

“Are you serious you don’t need me to company you to school?” Asked Dujun on Yoseob’s first day of college.

“I’m serious.”

“But..”

“Hyung, I’m not the highschool Yoseob anymore. I’ve changed. You changed me remember?”

But Dujun still gave him the same worried expression.

“I’ll call you once anything happens, okay?” Yoseob blinks with his cute puppy eyes.

Dujun sighed in defeat. That is one of his few weak points from Yoseob.

“Okay then. But you have to promise me that! Call me once anything happens.”

Yoseob nodded happily.

Dujun took a glance on the desk clock near the television. It’s already 8 PM and there’s still no sign of Yoseob coming home.

Dujun wonders what in the world does a freshmen do in their first day. When Dujun was a freshmen, he had an orientation to know the campus life and some introduction with new friends, adding one or two classes and they could go home. Most lately, the class dismissed at 5 PM. And it’s already three hours from 5 PM, he didn’t even call or inform him anything. Where in the world is Yang Yoseob?

Dujun took his phone he unpatiently click the speed dial no.1 but only to be invited by the operator voice telling him that the number is busy. He tried again only to get the same thing.

“What is he doing? Who the hell is he calling?” Dujun yelled out his frustration. When he stop redialing, his phone suddenly rang and the display shows it’s Yoseob. Dujun sighed in relief.

“Where the heck are you?” Shout Dujun.

“Ah.. ah.. hello.. is this Yoseob-sshi’s relative?” Asked the unknown voice. Dujun stops, “Yes, who is this?”

“Uhm.. I’m Yoseob’s college friend, Lee Gikwang. Uhm, we were hanging out together after school and he accidentally drank my drink, so he’s unconscious now. I’m.. I’m sorry hyungnim.. I didn’t mean to.. but we were too excited.. I don’t know where Yoseob’s house is, so I took his phone and the only number there is yours, so I tried to call it but it was busy twice. Thank God it reached you now.” He explained.

Dujun calmed down. So he managed to find a good friend now? Thank God.

“Where are you? I’ll go there to pick him up.”

“At a karaoke bar near the campus, hyungnim.”

“Okay, wait there.”

Dujun arrived at the karaoke bar 30 minutes later. The boy named Gikwang told him to go to room no.5. He met two boys there, the one is tall and handsome, a western feel of handsome while the other one is equally handsome but a head shorter than the first one. And Yoseob is sleeping soundly on the couch, his upper body is covered by his jacket.

“Yoon Dujun-Hyungnim? I’m Lee Gikwang.” Said the shorter one. “And this is Son Dongwoon.” The tall handsome boy bowed at Dujun, he bowed back and walk towards Yoseob.

“Mind to tell me how this could happened?”

Dongwoon and Gikwang looked kinda scared and panicked. Dongwoon was the one who step up this time.

“We met on the campus orientation today and we’re from the same department. Coincidentally we’re the top 3 of the test and grouped because of that. So we introduce ourselves and we matched each other so well, Hyungnim. So, Gikwangie suggested us to celebrate our first day and have a karaoke here. And the rest is just like how Gikwang told you on the phone.” Said Dongwoon.

Dujun sighed again. His hands reached Yoseob’s fringe and brushed it off so he could see Yoseob’s sleeping face.He feel relieved that Yoseob is okay, that Yoseob finally met some good friends who care about him. But his heartbeat hasn’t slow down yet.

He was afraid. Afraid that something bad had happened to Yoseob. That he’ll lost Yoseob forever. That he’ll broke his promise to protect Yoseob. He was afraid to death.

“Thank you for taking care of Yoseob. I trust Yoseob to you guys at school. I’ll pay the bill, both of you could go home.” Dujun said, smiling to the new friends.

“kkkkk Hyungnim, you’re cute. That’s what friends are for Hyungnim. Of course we’ll take a good care of Yoseobie.” Shout Gikwang showing off his cute eyesmile.

Dujun carried Yoseob up with the helped of Gikwang and Dongwoon who positioned him on Dujun’s back.

“By the way Hyungnim, I’m sorry for asking, but.. are you really the only relative Yoseob has?” Asked Dongwoon.

Dujun paused a bit. Relative? Well he’s not.

“…You can say it like that.”

“…What do you mean? You mean you’re not?” Dongwoon asked back only to get elbowed by Gikwang on the stomach.

Dujun shrugged. He don’t know himself. He’s not Yoseob’s brother, he’s not Yoseob’s family, he’s not Yoseob’s relative. They are only strangers to each other and they live together just because Dujun asked Yoseob. But then, whet are they?

“Yeah, we’re not. We just lives together…. I’ll be going first then.”

There might be times when I hurt you
But please know this one thing
Just like always, just like now

Dujun shoulder bumped on Yoseob’s chin, waking the boy up with an “Ouch!”, Dujun stopped walking. “I’m sorry, are you okay?”

“Hmhmmmmhmmm.. Dujunie hyung?” He mumbles, still under the alcohol effect.

“Yes it’s me.” Dujun continue his walk, he jumps his back a bit to liften Yoseob up, keeping him in a good position.

“Where’s Gikwang and Dongwoon?” He asked, mumbling.

“They’ve gone home.”

“Hehehehe, Hyung-ah~ I got a new good friends~ hehehe~”

“I know. I’m so happy you finally got one.”

“But I like Dujunie hyung the best!” Said Yoseob, tightening his hands on Dujun’s neck, hugging him.

“Really?? So my rank is still no.1?” Dujun chuckles.

“Of course! Hehehhehehehehe~”

“You’re still drowsy.”

“I like you hyung-ah~ Like like like like you very much~~~”

“I like you too~” Dujun said.

“Liar.”

“What?!”

“Hyung, you’re a liar.”

“Hey, I said I Like You and I’m serious.. why am I a liar?” He stopped walking.

“You always said that back to me every time I said it first. You said it. But you never show it, you never proved it. It’s oonly me who likes you, who loves to to death!”

Yoseob suddenly jumps off from Dujun’s back, legs still weak by the alcohol, but he manages to stand.

“For this past 2 years hyung, I’ve been telling you how much I love you.. but what did I get? Nothing! You still hangout with girls, dating them in front of me. Is that what you call ‘I Love You’?” The dizziness hits Yoseob again, he squatted down controlling his headache. Dujun comes closer, he reached his hands full of worries only to get a slap.

“I’m tired for having one sided love with you! But I can’t go anywhere. I don’t have friends to go with, I don’t have family, I don’t have home.” Yoseob started to sob. For the past 2 years, Dujun is his friend, his family, his home. He doesn’t have any other places to go.

“But what can I do, hyung? I love you so much, too much that it’s okay for me to see you dating girls, too much that it’s okay for me to see you comes home late with alcohol smell all over you, too much that being next to you is already enough for me.. I Love You too much that it hurts.” Yoseob buried his face between his knees, he cried.

Yoseob’s words hits Dujun straight. He did done that. He is such a brat. An idiot for ignoring Yoseob’s feelings when he was the one who took Yoseob at the first place. But how is Dujun’s feelings actually? The feelings that he always say he didn’t understand to Junhyung?  The feelings that he buried and locked deep down in his heart? The feelings of loving Yoseob whole heartedly but he can’t owned it. He thinks he can’t owned it. Yoseob is too precious for him. Yoseob deserve a better guy, no.. he deserve a beautiful girl instead of a weird old guy like him. He’s an ahjussi while Yoseob is still a fresh 18 years old boy. Who wants to date an ahjussi??

That’s what Dujun always thought. That’s the great big wall that Dujun build between them. That’s the barrier. But he loves the boy so much and the boy loves him back as much as he does. So what is he waiting for?

Dujun walks closer to Yoseob once more. He reached out his hands and patted Yoseob’s back, “Yoseobah, you’re still drunk. Let’s go home.”

“I don’t wanna!” Said Yoseob slapping Dujun’s hands again. He tripped from his squat position and almost fell, but Dujun immediately grabs his hands.

“Let go of me!”

“I won’t! We have to go home now! We need to talk..”

“No we don’t!”

“I need to talk! Let’s go!”

Dujun tighten his grip on Yoseob’s wrist, Yoseob tries hard to get off, but Dujun is way way stronger than him. He stop struggling and let Dujun dragged him home. They walked to their apartment and entered the elevator heading to the 8^th floor, room #806. The headache is still hitting, Yoseob could barely look straight and keep his head down, unpatiently waiting for the ding sound. His hands are already wet because of the cold sweat.

Yoseob didn’t hear the ding sound when the elevator stops, it was Dujun’s strength that made him realized they’ve arrived. Dujun pulled Yoseob harshly to their room. He inserted the password number, opens the door and slammed it back. Dujun was so scary, Yoseob thought. A side that Yoseob never seen for the past two years.

“It hurts!” Yoseob said weakly when Dujun’s grip tightened again. “Let go of me!”

“I don’t want to.”

“I SAID LET ME GO!”

“I DON’T WANT TO!”

“WHY DO YOU CARE SO MUCH ABOUT ME!??!?!?!?!? YOU ONLY TOOK ME IN BECAUSE YOU PITY ME RIGHT?”

“NO I DON’T!”

“YES YOU DO! YOU PITY ME! AND I STUPIDLY FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU. IT’S MY FAULT. IT’S ME WHO’S STUPID TO THINK THAT YOUR KINDNESS MEANS YOU LOVE ME BA—“

Yoseob couldn’t continue his shouting. His lips has been shield by Dujun’s lips. Yoseob eyes widen. Shocked.

“What are you doing?!?!?!?” He pushed Dujun away and holds his head, the headache keeps on getting worse.

“I’m trying to express that I also have feelings for you!”

“What?!”

“You don’t know how frustrated I am, don’t you?”

“What frustrated?! You go out with lots of pretty girls at your office?! While me.. staying away from the social because of my bad memories at school. Who’s frustrated here?”

“I go out with them because I need to run away from you!”

Yoseob stopped. “What does that mean?”

“I love you… Yang Yoseob. But I’m afraid.” Dujun sighed. He looks down, he’s afraid to make an eyecontact with Yoseob.

“I love you since the first time we met. But I always hide it.. hide it and locked it deep down inside my heart.”

“WHY?! I’ve told you million times that I love you too! Why do you have to hide it?”

“You’re too precious for me. You’re an angel who deserve better.. and our age.. just like you’ve said.. I’m an ahjussi.. while you’re still young and fresh.”

“I’m always fine with that! It’s only 7 years hyung!”

“But I took it as a problem.”

“Hyung, you’re the reason I’m happy now. You’re the one who change my life.”

“No.. It’s you who changed my boring life. It’s you who brightens me up. I don’t want to lose you Yoseobah. I was so scared when you didn’t contact me a while ago. I’m always scared that when I come home from the office, I won’t see you anymore. I’m afraid if I tell you my honest feeling, you’ll run away from me. I’m afraid.”

“I’m sorry for doing all those stupid things to you. I’m sorry for hurting you, I’m sorry for being too shy, too stubborn, for being a loser for not saying it loudly, bravely.. for not saying that.. I Love You, Yang Yoseob.”

Yoseob burst into tears. He doesn’t even care how he’ll handle the worst headache tomorrow because of the hangover and the tears. He hugged Dujun tightly, crying on Dujun shoulders just like how he cried the night Dujun save him before. Finally Dujun said it. He finally says “I Love You”.

For being born, for being by my side
I am born again because I met you
Now will you put this ring on? My love

It’s 5^th January, Yoseob woke up late because he don’t feel like he needs to wake up early today. It’s his birthday but his mood is awful. Gikwang and Dongwoon and Hyunseung (a friend he knew on his 2nd year of college) did send their greetings through their kakao chat group last night, but none from Dujun. He didn’t come home last night and he won’t even come home today.

It’s already their 7th year living together and their 5th year as a couple, but this is the first time Dujun didn’t do anything to celebrate his birthday. His very own boyfriend, not doing anything.

He lazily leaves his bed and walks to the bathroom. He looks through his reflection on the mirror and said “Happy Birthday, Yoseobah” with an unexcited voice. He washed his face, shaving, brushed his teeth and cleans up. Although there’ll be no Dujun, it doesn’t mean he don’t need to clean up himself on his birthday.

With no Dujun at home, Yoseob could only do boring things. He cooked a single breakfast to eat, watch TV, read mangas, and checked his empty social network. He doesn’t have much friends, so it’s either Gikwang, Dongwoon or Hyunseung. It’s so boring.

Yoseob then posted a message on the kakao group, “Hey, It’s my bday, so let’s meet up! I’m paying! Teehee~”

On seconds, Gikwang, Dongwoon and Hyunseung replied back.

“OK!”

“Call!”

“Where?”

Yoseob smiles, who needs stupid Dujun, when he have his friends?

“Yoseobah, aren’t you celebrating your birthday with Dujunie-hyung?” Asked Hyunseung when they met up at a pizza restaurant.

See Dujun, even Hyunseung the 4D one knows how I supposed to spend my birthday.

“He can’t come home today.” Yoseob said.

“What?!” Gikwang asked shocked, “But you guys never missed each other’s birthday every year.”

“Don’t ask me.. ask him.” Yoseob sulked again, even his friends knows it. They already know how Dujun and Yoseob spends their day every year. “Let’s just party hard today! I don’t care about Dujun! He even didn’t send me a birthday message or call me so I don’t care!!!!!” Shout Yoseob like a kid.

“LOL, hyung.. okay.. as you wish~” said Dongwoon patting Yoseob’s back. “So where are we going after this?”

“Karaoke!!!”

“Call!”

The day passed so fast after a 3 hours of karaoke, watching movies and playing at a game center. Yoseob even offered them to play at a futsal field but Hyunseung leaves first because he got things to do. Gikwang and Dongwoon also said their goodbyes because they want to have a short night date (yup, they’re a couple since 3 years ago!) leaving Yoseob alone.

He look at his watch, it’s already 11 PM. He doesn’t realized how time passed so fast, his birthday is only an hour left. Yoseob walks to a bus stop and waits. He sat on the bench and looks up at the sky enjoying the breeze winds. It’s cold, just like how his heart feels today.

The bus came after 10 minutes of waiting. It took 30 minutes ride from the bus stop to Yoseob’s apartment, he arrived at home 11.40 PM straight. Only 20 minutes left, Yoseob smiled bitterly while entering the elevator. The elevator stops at the 8th floor, he walks out to their shared room and opened the door.

A dimmed light comes from the living room. Yoseob frowned, he remember putting off all of the lights before he go, and the apartment security is also strict, there won’t be any thieves comes in right?

He steps in carefully and peeks in, nobody was there, instead of a small ice cream cake putted nicely on the living room table, completely decorated with some candles already lighten up, the source of the dimmed light. Yoseob stunned, it can’t be...

“Where have you been?!”

A familiar voice comes from behind, shocking an already stunned Yoseob. He turns around to meet the guy with a handsome face full of worries on it, it is indeed Dujun.

“Wha.. I thought.. you.. this..” Yoseob can’t talk coherently, he’s too shocked with all the things that happened.

“I called you million times but your phone is not active at all.. Where have you been baby? I was damn worried. Stop making me having a heart attack!” Said Dujun, hugging Yoseob tightly, relieved that he is okay.

“But.. but I thought you said you couldn’t come home today?”

“I know~ but I lied. I was preparing something for your birthday!”

“But.. but..”

“Babo.. it’s already our seventh year together and you still don’t know me? Happy birthday, baby.” Dujun kissed Yoseob temple and hugged him again lovingly. “I’m sorry for lying you on your birthday.. I was preparing a special surprise party.. sorry for making you sulked all day.”

“H..how did you know?” Yoseob asked his voice covered by Dujun’s shirt and tears already streamed down on his face.

“I always know you. Now let’s make a wish and blow the candle.. your birthday is only 10 minutes left.”

Yoseob nodded. They parted from the hug and sat down on the sofa. Yoseob moves forward to get closer to the cake, he closed his eyes and make a simple wish before blowing off all the candles. Now this is how Yang Yoseob’s birthday always being held.

“Dujunie hyungah... thank you...”

“Wait, you haven’t received your present yet.”

“What present?”

Dujun walks through the table. He took his bag and rummaged his hands into it. He took out a small red box with gold ribbon tied beautifully on it. He walks back to the sofa and pulls Yoseob to sit down too. Yoseob sat down next to him, anticipating whatever Dujun will give him.

“What is it?” asked Yoseob looking into Dujun’s eyes. Dujun’s face turned serious.

“Yoseobah.. first of all, Happy Birthday and I’m sorry for saying it late this year.” Dujun said, his eyes started to glisten, “For this past seven years, thank you for always be here next to me, for coming to my life, thank you for being born. You’ve change my boring life into fun days with laughter and passion to work harder with bright smile. I might still be lacks on things and there might be times when I hurt you, but please.. just know one thing, that I will always love you and cherish you forever.”

Yoseob’s bites his lips, holding back his almost falling tears again. He can’t think of what kind of thing that will comes next.

“For being born again, for being by my side, I am born again because I met you. Now will you put this ring on, baby?”

Dujun opened the small box and showed Yoseob a white gold ring glowing inside. He burst his tears, not able to hold it anymore and hugged Dujun. He nodded abruptly on Dujun’s chest. It doesn’t need any word, this is his dream, a dream of officially being with Dujun together forever. This is the sweetest Birthday present he had ever have in his life.

For being born, for being by my side
I am born again because I met you
Now will you put this ring on? My love

--FIN--