2013 has been EXO's year as they rise from being a nugu-group to record-breakers left and right. Trophies from music broadcasts to Daesangs Awards. All happens in less than a year. The boys couldn't get any happier and proud. That's why their SM-sunbaes,their manager-hyungs and Lee Soo Man himself often reminds them to be careful of committing any mistakes,even the slightest,that could cause their fall down in a blink of an eye.

Sehun treasure their fans but sometimes he couldn't help not to get annoyed and cursed when those fans goes beyond limit. Especially the Sasaengs he loathe the most. He feels bad for hyungs when they get mugged and abused by those sasaengs. What made his hatred fuel to the full extent was when Jongin got injured in the airport on their way to Philippines.

Thanks to those real fans who truly loves them and knows how to respect them that made Sehun's disgust gradually subsides. Everything was flowing smoothly to the boys until an unexpected scandal quakes them and almost made their fans to abandon them. And all because of Sehun.

"! We're done!"

Suho exclaims in frustration and anger as he kicks the stool next to him. Lay and Tao who are watching TV jolts in surprise. Kai,sitting infront of the table with a bowl of ramen in his hand stares in surprise at their leader sudden outburst.

"Hyung what's wrong?" Tao asks.

"Tao,tell everyone to gather here now,hurry." Suho orders Tao as he dials his phone. The younger quickly complies running towards the rooms.

Kai just watch Suho quietly as their leader nervously talks to someone in the phone. Soon everyone is sitting on the couch. Sehun is the last to come and when he sees there's no more space left for him in the not-so big couch his eyes flies to the dining table where Kai is sitting. He thinks twice if he will sit next to him but decides not to and choose to squat in the floor. 

"Why are we here?" Xiumin asks.

"I think something happened?" Lay replies uncertain glancing at Suho still engage in a conversation.

Suho step towards the other members after ending his call and greeted by confused and worried eyes of the boys.

"Hyung? will you tell us what happen?" Chanyeol asks impatiently.

Suho sighs deeply,"Something- - happened. I mean I received a text messages from someone threatening me to---to leak some audio conversation of- - -," Suho tries not to shift his eyes to someone in particular," of some of us."

The boys fall into silence and stunned at Suho's revelation.

"Manager hyung and the others will be here soon,let's wait for them first." Suho adds.

"Is it bad? I mean will it cause some conflict or damage to us?" Kris asks.

"I don't know. maybe yes..or no." 

"I'm scared." Tao blurts.

They all have same fear. Whenever a rumor or scandal came out thrown at them,SM reprimand them not to breath a single word about anything. And it tortures them. Losing all the people they work hard to please,to earn support with,to garner love, is their greatest fear.

Soon their manager arrives with Baekhyun,Luhan,Chen and D.O after their practice for Miracle In December promotion. 

"Suho,go tell them what exactly happened." their manager commands Suho with stern expression.

"Like what I've said someone blackmailed me to leak an audio of a conversation of some of us and a girl."

Loud gasping of airs resonate in the confined area. Eyes scanning everyone and lips murmuring.

"We don't know yet what exactly is inside the audio. But that person assumed it's Apink's Namjoo and S-Sehun."

Eyes widen and everyone tilts their neck to Sehun who is equally shocked after hearing his name.

"Sehun?" Baekhyun asks in disbelief.

"Sehun do you remember any conversation you had with her or any girls?" their manager asks.

Luhan has to hold Sehun's frozen hands to make the younger gather back to his senses. He shakes his head trying to rummage his memory if he ever had.

"I'm not even friends with any Apink members. I talk to some of my highschool friends but nothing---nothing intimate or something." Sehun holds his tears from spilling all over. He can't believe someone recorded a private conversation of him to someone probably a family member or a friend. But what scares him the most is the burden of causing trouble to the whole EXO.

"That person didn't give any other details about what the conversation is about. Unfortunately,we have to wait until- - -until the audio leaks and only that we can resolve this issue. I'm ordering anyone to never mention anything about this. Not to anyone including your own family members if they asked. Especially you Sehun."

Sehun lowers his head and tears start to stream down. Luhan pulls him closer and soothes his back. The other members succumb in the fear clouding the atmosphere.

All the time,Kai remain seated watching Sehun. He couldn't believe Sehun getting involve in a 'scandal'. He couldn't decide whether to get mad that Sehun is making private calls to other idols or girls or whoever that he's not aware of. Or get mad that,again and again,he choose Luhan to comfort him instead of him. His heart clinches in pain as he sit a meter away from Sehun crying and frightened,in the arms of someone else. 

When the said audio leaks out online,the boys didn't miss out reading a single comments,concerns,issues,reactions from the fans,netizens,their sunbaes,friend,and everyone else. Fortunately it's not extremely worst as they thought it was. Just a normal conversation between Sehun and a girl playing game over the computer. Maybe what made it slightly messy is the few curses came out from Sehun. Baekhyun telling the girl about their address and Sehun's despising the fans calling him 'Oh Sen'.

Sehun feels extremely mad,frustrated, and scared at same time. He doesn't know how to defend himself to everyone, especially to every single fans and let them know he doesn't mean what he said in a bad way. He's scared if the fans will lash back at him,curse him and worst,hate him completely. His hyungs never fails to comfort him and tells him everything will be Okay even though nothing makes him at ease.

He cries and cries. His hyungs always at his side except for the person he expect the most to be beside him,Kai. Since the issue came out,Kai never approached or talked to him. And it only made him feel worst than he already is.

"Kai,make sure to look out for Sehun while we're out. Do you understand?" Suho reminds Kai an hour before they left for Saving Santa's premier.

Kai just nods his head. Only him, Kris,Lay, and Sehun will be left home while the other does their respective schedule. He's not ready yet to face Sehun. He feels bad for accusing Sehun of talking to someone else behind his back after he heard the full audio and finds nothing that will make Sehun a cheater. But still the anger that boils inside him never fades whenever he sees Sehun cuddled in Tao or Luhan's side,sweeping away his attempts of comforting him.

"Kai, go tell Sehun to come out here and eat." Kris prompts him while him and Lay prepare their lunch.

"Yes hyung." Kai replies dragging his heavy feet to where Sehun is.

He knock few times before gently pushing the door open. Sehun is lying on his bed facing the wall. Kai gulps the stone-like lump in his throat before stepping closer to him.

"S- -Sehun."

Sehun's eyes burst open after hearing the voice he yearns to hear. But he didn't budge or glance back.

"Hey,are you awake? Come on the food's ready." Kai says waiting for any reaction from the younger.

"I'm not hungry." Sehun replies briefly. He shuts his eyes and hold his breath to muffle the sobs threatening to escape. He's mad how the other boy suddenly approach him after two days like not caring at all about what he had been through.

"Luhan's not here to spoon feed you so get up and eat by yourself." A hint of mockery and anger in Kai's voice.

Sehun fists the pillow beneath him and controls himself not to raise his voice, "Go ahead and eat without me,I'll wait for Luhan hyung to come home."

He doesn't mean it but he's just too mad right now towards Kai and Luhan is the only way he can think of to get back at him. The older on the other hand grits his teeth and face trembles in rage.

"Fine." Kai blurts and storm out of the room.

Sehun let go of the pain his holding soon as Kai left the room. He buries his head under the pillow to suppress the hitching of his breath and sound of his crying.

"Hyung,he says he'll wait for Luhan hyung." he informs Kris and quickly turns his back walking towards his room.

"hey aren't you gonna eat?" Lay calls out.

"I'm not hungry." Kai replies his voice cracks at the end as tears stream down uncontrollably.

The two Chinese older boys stare at his fading figure,flabbergasted.

It's always Luhan and Tao that makes Kai jealous. It's always Kyungsoo or Taemin that makes Sehun jealous,too. Their hyungs that always cause conflict between them two.

Sehun knows how Kai gets mad whenever he and Luhan are together. Even a simple conversation between them,Kai will get jealous. He hates to see and hear the fans scream HunHan couple. He hates it that Sehun and Luhan are roommates. He hates it that the two closely resembles each other. And he doesn't even want to start reminding himself of Tao and Sehun's budding friendship.

Sehun gets jealous when Kyungsoo gives extra care to Kai. Those simple fixing of Kai's microphone or necktie or shoelace,he hates it.  He hates it that D.O was the one sitting next to Kai during their first live Naver Starcast with Shindong. He hates it that Kai told D.O he sing and dance very well and that he loves him. But he didn't say a word about his jealousy. He pretended to be happy all through the show.
He hates it that Taemin is Kai's bestfriend. He hates it that Teamin comes first to Kai's life and not him. He always pray for time to turn back when he was five years old and he will definitely search for Jongin all over Seoul to befriend him and be Jongin's first in everything.

Kai would frankly tell Sehun the things that make him feel down. But Sehun is different,he choose to keep everything inside and rather make Kai suffer by not talking to him and ignoring him.
Kai would often find ways to make Sehun laugh or stay close beside him in their interviews,radio shows,in Showtime but the younger shuns him often and doesn't usually reacts to the older. Kai thought Sehun gets bored at his company and rather want to play around their member hyungs,especially to Tao instead of him.

Sehun wants Kai for himself all the time but he doesn't understand why he shakes in nervousness when Kai touches his hand or skin infront of cameras. He doesn't understand why he can't look at him straight in the eye when people are watching them. So he choose to maintain a cold and stoic face to cover up the embarrassment and crazily beating of his heart when Kai's only an inch away from him.

Suho and Xiumin roams all over the rooms to wake the members for their practice. They will be performing First Snow along with MID in music broadcasts. Everyone still careful and sympathetic to their maknae. 

Sehun slowly glances at Kai standing few feet away from him as their choreographer tells them their individual position at the First Snow choreo. Never did Kai glance back at him and it makes his chest heavy and sink. He didn't know he's already crying hard as they dance along the song until his hyungs stop to console him.

"Let's take a brief break." the choreographer announces leaving the boys in the studio.

"Sehun-ah,you can just sit and watch if you're not yet ready.." Luhan says patting his head.

They all jolt in surprise when a loud thud echoes in the room. All eyes on Kai and the bottle of water thrown across the room. His eyes glaring at Sehun.

"Kai," Suho warns.

"It's your selfishness that brought you to this trouble but don't let everyone fall down along with you Sehun. You're so selfish! You're so heartless!"

"Kim Jongin!" Luhan shouts, "can't you see he's been through alot?"

Sehun clutches Luhan's hand only sending Kai to the brink of his self-control. He march towards Luhan with his balled fist but the other stops him halfway.

"You don't know anything! It's all your fault!" Kai screams at Luhan.

"Don't you dare hurt him!" Sehun pushes Kai away.

The deafening silence echoes on the four walls of the room. The boys stand still around their two maknaes staring fiercely at each other.

"I give up Oh Sehun. I can't take you anymore." Kai's tears fall one after another as he hang his head low and walks out. Chanyeol and D.O following after him.

Sehun breaks down as he watch Kai's form disappears on the door. He falls on his knee and cries.

The other members tried not to bring up the ruckus that happened between the maknaes. They act normally around the house to calm down the tension lingering around. They didn't forced Kai when he refuses to eat dinner with them or when Sehun didn't speak a word the whole time.

The next morning,they spend the entire day for practice. Kai,as the lead dancer takes extra time to practice the dance even after everyone decides to go home.

"Kai-ah,call me once your done. I'll just get us something to drink okay?" Chanyeol says.

"Hyung,I told you to go home with the others. I can manage alone. You should be resting,you don't have to wait for me."

"Shut up and just practice so we can go home soon."

Kai didn't argue further. He should know better how stubborn Chanyeol is. The truth is he wants to dance and dance and dance until his his body cries in physical pain to oust the ache ripping his heart inside out. His eyes glistens in tears. He shakes his head off and press the player on. He practiced First Snow choreo and feeling unsatisfied with the soreness in his legs,he dance along with the random songs playing.

It's already late in the evening when he and Chanyeol arrives at their dorm.

"Hey,we left you something to eat. Fill your stomach first before you rest okay?" Lay reminds them.

Chanyeols responds with a nod but Kai walks straight to his shared room with Suho and Chen. He winces in pain as his waist twist. Cold sweats start to break in his skin. He struggles to sit on his bed.

"Yah,are you okay?" Chen crouched next to Kai when he sees the younger's pale face.

"Yes hyung. I'm fine." he strives to mutter as the pain strikes again whenever he moves a single muscle.

"Okay,let me help you lay down." 

Chen grabs his arms and gently drags the younger's body in the bed. Kai let out a shout as his waist twists again.

"Hyung! Hyung! it hurts! Help me." he cries in agony.

"Oh my god! stay still!!!!" Chen shrieks storming out of the room.

Everyone crowds in the room trying to soothe Kai from pain as they wait for their manager hyung to arrive. Sehun stand frozen beside the door as he watches Kai lying flat on the bed and panting heavily from the injury striking him.

"Kai-ah,just endure it a little okay? Manager hyung's on his way here." Suho says comforting the younger.

They all feel down and grief-stricken to see their second maknae in terrible strain and can do nothing.

"Hyung,it hurts." Kai exclaims as he pound his fist to the mattress and again sounds of his heavy breathing echoes in the room.

Sehun couldn't take to watch Kai in misery anymore,rushes toward him and embraces the older.

"Jongin-ah,I'm sorry! I'm really sorry! I'm sorry for leaving you behind. I'm so sorry for hurting you! I'm so sorry!" Sehun cries not minding the shock on the other members' face.

No one in their group knows about their relationship. They were scared that others will misunderstood and hurt them in return. But Sehun doesn't care about other people anymore. He won't hold back anymore and he won't put himself or other people first before Jongin. He caused him too much pain already and he doesn't want to completely lose the person he loves the most because of his selfishness. Kai was right, he's selfish. But not anymore. He tightens his grip around Kai's body hoping to somewhat lessen his suffering.

"Jongin I'm here. I'll never leave you."

"Sehun- - -it hurts alot."

"I know. Just hold on a little bit okay. Just hold on." he carresses Jongin's face.

"Uhm- - -I'll j--just go back here once manager hyung arrives." Suho tells no one in particular gesturing the rest of the group to leave the two alone.

Sehun waits until  their hyungs disappear and the door shuts behind him. He gently and slowly pulls Jongin,let him sit and lean against his chest. He wipes away the sweats all over Kai's face and neck. Jongin still panting heavily with his eyes shut.

"You'll be fine. Just endure it a little bit." he presses a light kisses on Jongin's cheeks as he wraps his arms around him tightly soothing his back.

"Let's- - let's not hurt each other again,Please." Jongin stutters between heavy breaths.

"Yes,never again.I promise. I love you so much Jongin." he holds the other's chin and kisses his full lips dearly.

Nothing much changes from the way Sehun acts around Jongin whenever they're infront of a crowd or camera. Or infront of their member hyungs who already knows about their secret love affair. He still gets awkward but atleast now Jongin is aware about it. 
Jongin doesn't have to torture his head to think of any reason behind Sehun's cold treatment because when there's just the two of them,Sehun makes up for it.

"Hyung can I go out tomorrow for awhile? I'll accompany Taemin but I promise to be careful and be back before night falls." Kai pleads their manager hyung.

Their manager hyung thinks for awhile before giving him permission and Kai jumps in joy. He thanked their manager and happily make his way to the couch where Sehun and some of the members are watching movie. Kai's smile disappears when he see Sehun's face scrunch and stiff. They're watching a comedy so he can't comprehend which part of the movie makes him pull up that expression.
 Luhan who's sitting at the back pokes Kai's arm. He watches as Luhan put his two point fingers above the back of Sehun's head and mouthed 'You're dead'. His mind glitches for awhile until he finally understand what Luhan means.

"Are you angry?" he leans closer to Sehun.

"No. I'm watching so shut up!" Sehun's voice raises making the other glance their way.

"You're angry." Kai sighs as he slumps his body at the back of the couch.

He pulls Sehun's arms back to the couch when he's about to leave after the movie ends. They wait until everyone got inside their rooms. Suho reminds them not to stay out late.

"Tell me what's your problem again."

"Nothing."

"Your face looks worst than a crumpled paper and you say it's nothing? Please Sehun I thought you said no more hurting each other again."

"I said nothing! I'm not angry! I'm just not in the mood! I'll sleep now and go take your rest too. You have a date with Tae min hyung tomorrow remember!" And Sehun abruptly stands up marching towards his room.

Kai is left confused. Then it's too late as he finally figures out what made the younger pissed off because Sehun locked the door. He sighs in frustration throwing his fists in the air.

Later that night, Jongin's phone is bombarded by Sehun's text messages full of accusation and threats to break up. He tries to call the younger's phone but only got rejected. He wants to crash the door open and pull out his super stubborn and annoying boyfriend but he remembers that there's twelve of them living in the house. 

He fights himself not to fall asleep and waits until Sehun gets tired of sending him same message for hundred times. Because if he ignores it and sleep through Sehun's sentiment,it will only worsen the situation. And he knows that Sehun is crying his eyes out non-stop right now and it makes him frustrated. So he waits for his chance to woo Sehun. He snaps when he heard a creaking of door outside. He tiptoes not wanting to wake up Chen and Suho,praying it is  Sehun.

"Are you done with your little drama?" Jongin says standing behind Sehun.

Sehun jolts in surprise almost dropping the glass of water in his hand. He shuts his eyes close because he can't dare face Jongin after ranting his anger over text messages and with his puffy eyes.

"Why can't you just tell me frankly if you don't want me to go with Tae Min instead of making us both suffer."

"Just go with him,I won't stop you!" he bit his lip tightly.

"Yeah right! You pretend like you don't care when I confront you but bombards me with threats over the phone after. Try not to be coward for once Sehun." Jongin grab Sehun's arm and forces the younger to face him, "I'm not a magician Sehun, I can't read what's running through that immature mind of yours."

Sehun glares at Jongin and purse his lips in thin line.

"See?! Now you act like a victim but once I'm not facing you anymore you transform to a wildcat."

"Don't go." Sehun whispers.

"What?"

"i said don't go- - -but if you really want to go because you can't say no to Tae min and he's very very very important to you then go." he hang his head low to hide his flushed face.

Jongin laughs," Is it really hard to admit and say out loud what you feel inside?"

"I don't want you to go because I can't help myself not to get jealous. I know you two are bestfriends but- - -my mind can't understand no matter how I try. And I hate it."

"Then I won't go. You matters to me more than anyone else. Your feelings matter to me first than other's. So don't be scared to let me know everything that disturbs you. I won't get mad  or choose them over you. Are we clear Oh Sehun?" Jongin lift Sehun's chin to make him look at him.

"Yeah." Sehun answers darting his eyes off Jongin, "but if you really wanna go tomorrow I won't- - - "

He didn't manage to finish his sentence when Jongin catch his lips into deep deep kiss.

"I love you baby."

END.

Kim Jongin,the love of my life. Oh Sehun,my male version hahaha~_~

xoxo!