“Wedding Dress”

~~~~~~~~~

 

“It’s crazy how one day you’re someone’s everything and the next day you woke up, you don’t mean anything to them anymore”

 

~~~~~~~~~

 

“Yul it’s time already…” Jessica smiled at me with sympathy despite it being a wedding of one of her favorite dongsaengs, that’s because she knows. She’s the only person who knows the story behind the song that I’m going to sing.

 

“Okay” I let out a forced smile at her but my eyes watered and I gathered all my strength not to cry but it failed miserably as I felt tears rolling down my cheeks. I quickly brushed them and stood up fixing my black tux acting like nothing happened.

 

“Yul…” Jessica patted my shoulder.

 

“I’m fine let’s go” I confidently walked outside as I cooly smiled and gave a wink back to everyone who smiled at me portraying my playful image.

 

“Yul are you sure? You know I can see right through you, You’re not okay” Jessica inquired looking straight at my eyes, we are now facing the door separating the hall we’re standing and the altar that you’re going to pledge your love with him.

 

“Yes…It’s the last wish I can grant for her before I forget all of our promises and lost her forever” I said smiling bitterly trying so hard not to cry and to compose myself pulling the cool look image out of me, the image that all the people knows.

 

Jessica opened the huge white double doors motioning for me to walk towards the huge black piano on the left corner.

 

I step forward urging my suddenly heavy legs to walk continuously until I sat on the chair and placed my trembling fingers on the keys readying myself before playing.

 

The doors opened and my breathing hitched as I stared at her smiling brightly as she walks through the aisle with her father. I miss those times that I own that smile and was only directed to me but those times are gone now and your smile is only for him.

 

My mind started to drift back reminiscing the times we’re still together.

 

Flashback

 

“Why are you pouting?” She asked when she saw me pouting after the waiter left.

 

“You smiled at the waiter” I stated simply.

 

“What you’re jealous?” She chuckled.

 

I just turned my head away from her.

 

“Oh My baby’s jealous how cute” she held my face and turned my head to face her and pinch my cheeks but I looked past through her showing I’m still upset.

 

“Yah! Baby~”she whined.

 

“Not listening~” I said looking around with a huge frown adorning my face.

 

“Oh come on don’t be jealous cause from now on you’ll be the only person I’ll show my bright smile okay?”

 

“Promise?”

 

“Promise”

 

End of Flashback.

 

She’s so beautiful wearing that white wedding dress it really suits her as I imagined way before.

 

Flashback

 

“Baby Yoong~ I think it would suit you a pure white dress on our wedding day” I whispered into her ear when the teacher walked away from us, we’re on our design class on the university at that time.

 

Her eyes widened playfully.

 

“Are you proposing to me already My Kwon Yuri?” She whispered jokingly.

 

“If it’s okay for you then, Yes I ‘am.” I grinned and held her right hand.

 

“What?!” she asked shock but still whispering.

 

“My Im Yoona will you marry me?” I asked drawing lines circling her ring finger using my pen.

 

She looked at me for a few seconds and then smiled brightly.

 

 “Yes!” She exclaimed standing up and hugging me tightly earning us the attention of the whole class including our teacher.

 

“You know the answer Ms. Im? And please if you two just plan to flirt in my class then the  two doors are free and wide open, you’re welcome to go out” The teacher asked her while adjusting her spectacles and motioning for the two doors in the room.

 

“Oh No Sir but well…Yul just proposed to me” She grinned sheepishly entwining our hands.

 

The class went into full chaos some of the students whistled while the others clapped happily shouting congratulations to the both of us after all we are one of the popular couples in our university. They always say that we’re perfect for each other.

 

“Well Ms. Kwon I advised that if you’re going to propose be sure to get a proper job first and make sure you can provide everything for Ms. Im here and the family that you are going to have in the future” The professor said sternly silencing the whole class.

 

“I will Sir I will work hard and propose again in the future when I’m stable and I can give Yoona everything I promise” I stated confidently with my charming smile.

 

“Very well Ms. Kwon Congratulations to the both of you that’s why you’re my favorite student!” The professor smiled and clapped his hands as the class went wild again.

 

“This is the ring that I can only give you right now but I will design and buy you a real ring when I got a real job after we graduated” I whispered completing a figure of a ring on her ring finger.

 

“Promise me…that I’m the only girl that you’re going to marry in the future” She said drawing an identical figure of the ring on my ring finger.

 

“I promise, always remember you’re my one and only” I whispered placing a chaste kiss on her lips and the professor scolded me after he saw us.

 

End of Flashback

 

I smiled remembering the good times, my mind drifting towards the past as if I’m not in this situation right now, my fingers gently moving on the keys.

 

Our eyes met for a brief second before she averted her gaze as she have to go forward but it lasted for a long time for me, it’ll even last for eternity for me perhaps.

 

Flashback

 

“Yul~ my Yul~” She called out full of aegyo while back hugging me.

 

I turned around and smiled lovingly at her.

 

“Yes baby?” I fixed her hair straying on her beautiful face.

 

“Can I ask you something?” She smiled at me.

 

“Of course baby”

 

“Yul what happened if some day we broke up?” She asked.

 

I frowned hearing this.

 

“Why are you asking me this?” I asked gulping the lump forming on my throat.

 

“I just want to know if someday we thought that breaking up would be the best for both of us could we still be friends?” She said smoothing out each of my eyebrows with her index finger.

 

“You’re not breaking up with me are you?” I asked worriedly.

 

“No silly I’m just asking” She chuckled.

 

“Oh you scared me, is this one of the things that Tiffany told you again to test me?” I asked relived.

 

“No I just want to know what you’re answer is now what if we broke up would we still be friends?” She asked curios with those chocolate colored eyes that I love.

 

“Nope” I answered confidently and she frowned and pouted.

 

“Why?”

 

“Because if that happens I will do everything…everything just to make you mine again if you want me back” I smiled cheekily as she visibly blushed.

 

“Cheesy” She placed her arms around my neck and pulled her clasped hands bringing me closer.

 

“But it’s true…” I whispered.

 

“Promise?”  She asked with a smile leaning forward until our lips are just inches apart.

 

 “Promise” I said before capturing her lips on mine.

 

End of Flash back.

 

Time really flies like they say because it looks like it just happened yesterday when I felt your lips on mine and now you are getting married to him.

 

 

Some say it's not over till it's over

But I guess it's really over now

There's something i gotta say before I let you go

Listen....

 

 

You are with him now, my heart breaks every time I see you give that smile to him, laughing like that nothing ever happened.

 

 

 I closed my eyes and started singing my heart out.

 

 

I don't have much time to go

Before I have to let you go

...to part as friends, because I failed to let my feelings show

How could so many chances I-I-I forego;

When will the moment feel just right to let you know?

 

 

After I was released from the hospital I watched you every day with him. I watched how you act with him, laughing, smiling and the way you look at him. All of it…all of it ends to one conclusion…Love, I know because you used to be like that to me and specially your eyes I always remembered how you used to look at me like that.

 

 

Those times we spent together is all that I can think about

It's so hard to believe from this day on, we'll be apart

'twas all my fault, though;

Thinking there'd be tomorrow

Is it too late to tell you what I feel?

 

 

Flashback

 

“Sica did she know about the ring?” I asked as I was following Yoona again but Jessica called it stalking.

 

“No you said to never tell her anything and I’m still hoping that you will wake up so you can tell her yourself”

 

“Then should I tell her myself?” I asked hesitantly playing on the ring between my thumb and index finger that is looped on a necklace that I wear around my neck.

 

“Finally! Now come on go out and claim you’re girl babo Yul!”

 

She pushed me out of the car and I started to sprint at full speed and I saw her about to enter a house.

 

“Yoong…” I said breathlessly from all the running I’ve made to just be here.

 

 End of flashback.

 

 

It’s silly how I felt butterflies again by just calling out your name.

 

 

Baby, please think things through as you walk down the aisle

'cuz you should be my lady

If you knew what hides beneath my smile

(My love for you)

 

 

You turned around with him as all the people clapped their hands and our eyes met you gave me one of those shy smiles that I love to see ever since the first day we met, I smiled back as happy as I can knowing it might be the last time I’ll see those.

 

 

I never knew what love is until I met you.

 

 

Flashback

 

 

"I-I'm sorry" I heard a scared voice at the hallway. When I heard that I quickly realized who it was and turned to the direction of the voice, I clenched my fist getting ready to beat the crap out of these stupid bullies.

 

"Girls like you make me sick!" The first girl scoffed and pushed her against the lockers producing a loud bang when her body collides with the metal locker.

 

"Ouch!" she cried out as her pretty face scrunched up in pain.

 

“Okay that's it!” I shouted as I grabbed the girl's arm tightly until she winced in pain.

 

"What the hel— Yuri?!" They screamed in shock.

 

"You three talk so high and mighty about yourself...” I scoffed.

 

“It’s people like you four who’ll make anyone sick." I glared at them and they cowered in fear.

 

“Look here if I see you losers bother her again I won't be as nice anymore and beat the crap out of each of you. Leave.” I threatened them then I let go of the girl's arm and leaving an obvious bruise to it.

 

Those bullies quickly ran away as fast as they can.

 

"Are you okay?" I asked her and suddenly she pulled me into a hug.

 

"T-Thank You" She murmured into my ear.

 

"Y-You're welcome" I replied stuttering and my face is surely red as I felt my face getting warmer.

 

I pulled out from the hug and I saw her giving me a shy smile that I know will forever keep my heart.

 

End Of Flashback

 

 

They always say that meeting and parting comes in a set but I never believe in it until today because I always picture us together forever, but now I guess it’s true.

 

 

When the music ends you'll be with him,

Pledging your whole lives to each other

I cannot bear to watch his kiss seal your union,

Knowing how things could be instead

 

 

Flashback

 

“Yul…” she said with an utter of disbelief when she heard my voice.

 

“Yoona just listen to me okay?” I said desperately.

 

“Yoona…who’s this? A friend of yours?” A man asked as he back hugged her, I looked at her and her eyes flicked with a look of guilt and something else.

 

“Yoona?” I uttered.

 

“Yuri this is Seung Gi…My Fiancé…” Yoona stated slowly like hoping for me to not get shock but how could I not? When the one girl I love, my world and is my Fiancé the last time I remember is standing right in front of me with another person saying he’s her fiancé.

 

“Oh…” It’s the only thing I can manage to say at that moment as all kinds of emotions bubbled in me seeing them together closely.

 

 It hurts.

 

 It hurts a lot.

 

It hurts like hell.

 

No, I prefer hell than this.

 

“And Seung Gi this is Yuri…”Yoona stated as Seung Gi stuck her hand out for a hand shake.

 

“Nice to meet you Yuri-ssi” He said with a smile.

 

I swallowed the lump forming on my throat and composed myself.

 

“H-hello I’m Y-Yuri…Kwon Yuri…Nice to meet you…” I manage to say before letting out a small smile.

 

“Why don’t you join the party with us inside?” He offered.

 

I backed away my legs felt like Jelly.

 

“No thanks I need to get going anyway I just want to see Yoong…I mean Yoona here and congratulate her” I said forcing myself to smile at Yoona holding into the ring that is acting as pendant on my necklace.

 

“Oh really? Then you must be really close but I wonder why she didn’t say anything about you”

 

“Yeah I’m wondering too…but maybe it’s because we didn’t see each other in years” I tried to chuckle.

 

“Or it’s just me…”

 

“Yuri-ah!” I heard Jessica called out.

 

“Oh I think that’s my cue to leave now” I forced a chuckle though it came out raspy.

 

 “it’s nice meeting you Seung Gi-ssi I need to get going now” I turned around as Jessica held my right hand pulling me away.

 

“Wait Yuri…”

 

I heard her call me but I still numbly took a step forward following Jessica.

 

“Yul…” It came out as a sad whisper and I suddenly turned around looking at her straight in the eyes.

 

I smiled at her reassuringly and my gaze drifted to Seung Gi.

 

“Please take care of her Seung Gi never hurt her” I said seriously to him.

 

I looked at her again hoping she could see all the emotions and words that are going through me that I want to say to her.

 

“Goodbye Yoong…” I smiled sadly and quickly turned around to not see the hurt in her eyes if there’s any. I get in the car leaving Jessica alone to bid her goodbye to the two of them. I let my tears to flow freely down my cheeks quietly as soon as the car drove away.

 

End Of Flashback

 

 

They say that the two hardest things to say in life are Hello for the first time and Goodbye for the last time. It’s really true…and I never thought that I would say goodbye to you Yoona at least not this kind of Goodbye.

 

 

You, me and your wedding dress

Girl with me in her wedding dress

(How can you hear me now?)

Wedding dress

...to kiss you in your wedding dress

Oh, no

 

 

Flashback

 

“Yoong…” I slowly called out her name.

 

“Yul…I’m sorry He loves me so much and I’m happy with him…” she stated.

 

End Of Flashback

 

 

I never imagined that the one who drew that perfect smile out of me was the same person who’s going to kept me tearing every time.

 

 

Though we were not all alone,

I thought then a love has grown

How could I be so wrong and have that man part us both?

...and as he made his move, my mind-mind-mind foresaw:

The day would come when I can't help but let you go

 

 

I handled you with care as though you were already mine

Somehow, he took away what mattered most with but a line

For his bravado, you fell...and now, we're here, so

I just couldn't help the way that I feel

 

 

Flashback.

 

“Yuri-ssi I heard that you played the piano well will you be our pianist?” Seung Gi let out a charming smile, my gaze fell on Yoona before answering.

 

“Sure” I said with a smile.

 

“Are you sure Yul I mean Yuri-unnie?” She asked worriedly.

 

“Yes…it’s you’re wish for me to play the piano at our—your wedding day when were still in college right?” I said playing with the ring on my neck.

 

“You still remember…” She said smiling with a distant look obviously reminiscing.

 

“Good then It’s all set thanks you Yuri” Seung Gi said.

 

I just replied him with a small smile though my heart is breaking into little pieces now.

 

End Of Flashback.

 

 

Sometimes I really wish to die but I don't have the courage because I’m afraid that if I die now I would never see your smile and you ever again.

 

 

Baby, please turn around and listen to me now

'cuz you should be my lady

We're the ones meant to exchange those vows (or so I thought)

 

 

Flashback

 

We were walking side by side beside a river it was already night time. I was silent as we walk looking at the view around us. Wondering how the simple superfluous dark have turned into a breath taking view when illuminated by just some simple white light, Yes it is simple yet appeared to be just perfect for it. Would it still be a beautiful view if the lights were to be removed?

 

I guess not.

 

I wouldn’t even be living if I’ll lose my light from now on.

 

It could be a comparison to me and her. To my reviled dark world that turned into a colorful and wonderful one when the simple yet perfect girl comes into it and turned it upside down.

 

My thoughts were interrupted when we saw an available bench and sat on it and I took a glance on her before resuming on watching the breath taking scenery in front of us but not before staring at her face for a few seconds until I memorized all of her beautiful features that can’t be compared on this breath taking view around us.

 

We sat in there beside each other I was aware that we are so close to each other because our shoulder were about to touch but I avoided leaning into her more as I was afraid that I won’t be able to handle myself and let her go if I were to feel her warmth. I know…time is running out as everything comes to an end but I’m still wishing that it won’t, ever.

 

I can stay like this forever with you just by my side.

 

A lone beep resounded.

 

The sound that I dreaded to hear all day.

 

She checked her phone and based on the grip she had on her phone and clenched jaw I can say that the conversation didn’t end pretty well.

 

“Yul…Yuri…” She said slowly as I tilted my head slightly to catch a glimpse of her. I was silent for a long time, my mind blank not thinking about anything for I know it’s the end I was only waiting before I hear her soft velvety voice spoke to me. I was sad and pain was eating me up but still a small smile crossed my face as I tried to lighten up the mood but her words from years ago echoed in my mind

 

“Yul what happened if some day we broke up?” 

 

“I…think…it’s time to go back now…” I heard her say but my focus was on the words that are echoing in my mind but I answered nonetheless.

 

“If that happens I will do everything…everything just to make you mine again if you want me back”

 

“Hmm? It’s time already?” I replied trying to be nonchalant but failed as I felt my smile waver ready to turn upside down at the running thoughts through my head.

 

“You said those words…then why are you letting go? Why? You promised her…”

 

“Yes” She bit her lower lip an act she always do whenever she’s nervous or upset.

 

“Why are you giving up?”

 

I only nodded not trusting my voice to speak a lump was forming on my throat.

 

“Will you?”

 

“Okay…Time always flies when I’m with you…” I said as I finally had the courage to fully face her. I simply stood up and stretched my arms to hide the nervousness that I’m feeling right now. I suddenly realized that there is something in the past that I really regret and I wish that I could turn back the time but it’s already too late now we are already here.

 

“I will do everything…everything just to make you mine again”

 

Finally I’ve decided…I want to say ‘I love you’ to her from the moment I woke up till the night that I was about to sleep.

 

I wasn’t my initially planning on this but…I couldn’t bear to let her go without trying for one last time.

 

“I’m going to go to the bathroom right now I think it will take around 15 minutes for me to get back here” I hold her hand wishing—hoping that she will choose me and as soon as I touched her hand the warmth and electrifying feeling that I haven’t felt for so long came back to me in a flash.

 

“Forgive me for dragging you out here… I just wanted to be with you right now…I thought that it will be my last chance to be with you and before…” I trailed off and gulped the forming lump of nervousness and fear on my throat.

 

She just stayed quiet looking at the view in front of us every second that passed fueled the depletion of my courage and hope.

 

“If you’re not here when I get back I guess this will really be the last time for the both of us even as friends after tomorrow…” I finally said and tilted her chin to look straight into her eyes conveying every emotion that I’m feeling right now.

 

“I really hope that you’ll still be here when I get back here though cause maybe, maybe I…” I whispered before slowly letting go of her hand and stepped away reluctantly. I was hoping that she would stop me so I—we can fight for what we had. Every step that I took away from her open up my imagination of her with that person and stirred up the old memories of us in my mind and heart I felt like a thousand invisible knives were stabbing my heart as all of our memories played like a movie within me. I stopped and turned around my emotions are on whirl making my breathing ragged. I looked directly into her eyes trying my hardest not to cry in front of her because I know that somehow when she saw my tears she will be hurt.

 

My heart and mind was screaming ‘Will you please fight for me? Because it may be late but I will fight through anything even hell just to be with you…’

 

I saw her lips moving but I didn’t hear what she said and the next thing I know is she’s already in my arms hugging me tightly as I did the same making my heart leap into some blissful jumps.

 

“Yul…Kiss me…please kiss me as if it were the last time” She asked while her tears are threatening to fall out of my eyes and for once I’ve seen the love and passion from her eyes the look that she always gave me when we are still together but there’s something else. Why?

 

I placed my hands into her face as I stared at her brown orbs not believing that I would be given another chance to feel her soft lips against mine again, to feel that heavenly feeling until we both needed air again. The kiss that can only be given by her, I stared at her face her eyes were closed as I closed the space between our lips. My heart was leaping with joy and sorrow as I kissed her, my mouth moving on hers because I know that in some way this will be our last so I savored this electrifying feeling running throughout my body and the warm addictive taste of her lips mixing with mine.

 

I pulled her closer as I deepened the kiss. I placed my left hand on her waist while my right hand was on her cheek holding her. The way we kissed was unexplainable our love was pouring out on this kiss. Our passion and lips moving in sync with each other were serving as the silent words conversing between us.  It was a passionate and longing kiss between us, a kiss of passion and love after long years of separation. I can’t help but to let the tears that are held back for a long time to roll freely on my cheeks as I felt her hot tears against my cheeks.

 

We slowly pulled away breathless form the kiss. Tears freely fell down on both of our cheeks as each of our lungs heave for air. I felt our forehead touched each other.

 

“Please…please be happy baby…Yul…” She whispered lowly and I have seen the end.

 

“Yoong…”

 

She cupped my face with both of her hands removing the tears that are escaping my eyes using her soft thumbs. I removed the hands that are the only source of my warmth and placed my hands on my back pocket trying to appear like the old cool and playful Yul. The Yul that died the moment I knew that the one and only person that I love will never be mine again, there will never be such a thing as my Yoong again…

 

My heart was crumbling from the hurt and sadness and the whirl of these two emotions stirred up a bit of anger within my heart. I wanted to scream on how cruel everything seems to be to me but I didn’t because I knew that from every word that will come out from me will hurt her .I stepped two steps back wards away from her with tears still staining my face.

 

How could I still think of what you are going to feel when I was the one who is hurting the most?

 

“I think…this is really it then…” I said to her my heart was clenching tightly against my chest as if a hand was squeezing it tightly not letting it go.

 

“But I love you…always…You’re my first and only one, forever” I said once again letting my tears out because of the painful sound of my breaking heart. I stared at her beautiful face memorizing every inch of it engraving that picture inside my heart.

 

I smiled for the last time to her before turning around to leave. After a few slow steps, I break into a run when I knew that I’m already far away from her. The snow suddenly fell from the sky marking the first day of snow. It was cold, like my hands, my legs, my body and specially my heart, it all felt cold to me.

 

“She is not mine anymore…My Yoong…used to be mine…”

 

I feel ridiculously weak and I felt my legs are giving up so I stopped running. I just bend down and sink my head on my arms to cover all the tears that are flowing down along with the white snow that are falling from the dark black sky because this feeling inside my heart is exploding too painfully, too deep and hurting.

 

End of flashback.

 

One night I dreamed a terrifying dream that I never wanted to see again, it’s full of sorrow and pain. It was a dream when I chased you but you turned back just to leave me with a smile and continued walking away from me towards a man, Him. I was so afraid and I don’t want to admit it but that dream—my nightmare have now come to a reality.

 

 

When the music ends you'll be with him,

Pledging your whole lives to each other

I cannot bear to watch his kiss seal your union,

Knowing how things could be instead

 

 

Flashback

 

“Baby~ baby baby~" I sang while driving my Porsche to the restaurant that I always went to eat with her we have a dinner date that night, suddenly my phone rang.

 

“Hello? Kwon Yuri speaking” I answered my phone.

 

“Ms. Kwon this is Ms. Jung’s secretary the ring you special ordered have already arrived when would you like to pick it up?” Jessica said.

 

“Uhm could I pick it up now?” I asked excitedly.

 

“Okay but it’s our closing time already please hurry”

 

“Okay I’ll be there as soon as possible please wait for me” I hanged up.

 

“Yes!” I exclaimed happy and excited as I turned my car stepping on the gas pedal going as fast as possible.

 

"How should I start when I got the ring? Hmm Yoong this is the ring I’d promised to you remember? So will you marry me now?" I practiced thinking the most romantic thing to say to propose.

 

"YoongI love you and I know you love me too please marry me?" I shook my head.

 

“Heck No it’s too cocky!”

 

"Im Yoona marry me for god sake please!"

 

"Okaaay no, that was sooo desperate..." I mentally hit my head.

 

Suddenly my phone rang and I saw it’s her, my baby, I picked it up.

 

“Yoong baby~” I called out excitedly.

 

“Yah Kwon Yuri Where are you? Don’t be so excited you’re late already It's weird to sit at this table alone you know” she said whining but her voice had a hint of anger in it.

 

“Oh I’m on my way baby but someone called from the office so I need to pick up something before I go there so wait patiently okay?” I lied.

 

“Okay be sure you’ll be here, don’t you dare stood me up!”

 

“Haha never in my dreams that I’ll even think to stood up my beautiful and lovable girlfriend!”

 

“You better! Be here okay? I love you!” She said making a kissing sound on the phone and I chuckled.

 

“Yup I love you more! I’ve got a surprise for you when I get there to make up for being late!”

 

“Okay! I’ll wait for you I love you a thousand times”

 

“Bye I love you a thousand times always remember it” I said after making a kiss sound.

 

I smiled thinking about how she will react after she saw the customized ring that I designed myself. I can't wait to see her reaction; would she be happy, surprised shock? Will she cry? I was too busy thinking that I failed to register the car coming to my side at full speed. Suddenly a light blinded my eyes I looked to the side and it was a light from another car heading my way. I grabbed the steering wheel with the both of my hands and tried to turn away unfortunately, I failed to escape because of the lack of time.

 

A loud crash was heard.

 

"Yoong…I love you so much wait for me…" that was the last thing I breathed out.

 

End of flashback.

 

 

Never had it crossed my mind that I would never be able to show her the ring that I have promised and worked so hard for years.

 

 

You, me and your wedding dress

Girl's with me in her wedding dress

(You know I need you now)

Wedding dress

...to kiss you in your wedding dress

Oh, no

 

 

I know fate was so cruel for doing this to us, but it was fate that led you to me so I can’t ever be thankful enough.

 

If you can toss that bouquet

Like the love I thought we had,

I'll bother you no more and then wish you both well and go

 

 

Flash back

 

“Ah this is for the girl that I fell in love with who made me smile so much that the my cheeks hurt already, That person is so beautiful that I myself wonder how someone like her can be here existing right in front of me, she’s kind, optimistic, smart a genius even, sweet and patient. I can tell all of you a lot about her but I guess it’ll take the whole night and I know all of you wouldn’t want that so I’ll just say this to that person that I fell in love with I love you…please be mine? Then I sang my heart out looking only at her after the song ended I stood up and held her right hand.

 

“I love you Im Yoona…please be mine?”I asked hoping she would say yes.

 

“I love you too Kwon Yuri….”she replied and kissed me.

 

End Of flashback

 

 

My first experiences, I’m really glad I get to share them with you…

 

 

It may take long, but I will try to get you out of what's left of my heart

No, oh

 

 

In order to move on I told myself that I wanted—need to delete all of her stolen pictures from my personal folder on my laptop and cellphone, her messages that I backed up from my phone, her recorded voices, her number, our pictures together, our favorite songs and throw everything that can remind me of her but in the end I couldn’t do it. I ended up keeping all of it, I just put it into a different location and a lot of folders just so maybe I could be tired to open it until I actually went into the actual folder, her messages I read it again and again while playing our favorite songs non on repeat, and the gifts her gifts I stared at it treasuring every bit of it.

 

 

If only you can hear what my heart says,

We’d exchange those vows with each other

Now, I guess there's nothing more I can do but

Bury all these thoughts in my head

 

 

Flashback

 

“Yoong?” I whispered raspy while opening my eyes and the first thing I see is Jessica’s face my best friends face but my girlfriend is nowhere in sight.

 

“Yul! You’re awake! How do you feel?”

 

“Uhm…where am I? I guess hospital? I remember getting into a car crash…” I said.

 

“Yes you’re here in the hospital Yul…Don’t move so much it might stress yourself suddenly the doctor entered the room and examined me.

 

“She’s all good” The doctor left after checking up on me.

 

“Sica where’s Yoong? I’m supposed to get the ring that night do you still have it?”

 

“Y-yes…here…?” Jessica handed me a box with the ring inside but she seemed a bit uncomfortable but I let it slide.

 

“Yul how are you? You’ve been in a coma for 3 years”

 

“Oh wow that long? So did something change?” I asked cheerfully hoping nothing much change especially to Yoona and me.

 

“Yes…of course….it’s been 3 years look I’m much more prettier!” Jessica joked but I know from the constant pausing that she’s hiding something from me.

 

“Aaah I’m thirsty I said getting the glass on my bedside table but I saw something else that caught my attention.

 

You are cordially Invited to the Wedding of

Im Yoona 

&
Lee Seung Gi

 

“W-what’s this?” I asked as Jessica suddenly snatched the piece of card away from my view and grasp.

 

“Nothing…”

 

“TELL ME!” I shouted as I lost all my patience and every possible thought occurred through my mind.

 

“She’s getting married…It’s been three years and the doctors said it’s 10/100 that you’ll wake up and after two years she met him and…”

 

 

I gripped the sheets tightly as tears fell from my eyes to the bed sheets.

 

 

“Is she…happy?” I asked fearing the answer.

 

“Yes…”

 

“Then don’t tell her that I’ve woken up okay? She must’ve suffered a lot during these past few years”

 

“But Yul…”

 

“It’s all right…don’t worry…” I smiled bitterly. "If loving him makes her happy I’ll bother her no more and I’ll let go of my feelings for her even though it hurts" I said in a whisper.

 

 

End of Flashback

 

 

Even I said that its okay, letting you go is still the most painful thing I’ve ever done in my life.

 

 

You, me and your wedding dress

Girl's with me in her wedding dress

Wedding dress

(Should've been me) to kiss you in your wedding dress

(Should've been me)

Oh, no

 

 

At the end of the song everyone was clapping and cheering while I felt my tears slowly rolling down one by one on my cheeks.

 

That song I was singing, no one knows that it’s what my whole heart is saying right now.

 

He took a hold of her hands, while guiding her to the priest while the priest asked him.

 

"Do you Lee Seung Gi take Im Yoona as your lawfully wedded wife?" The priest asked.

 

"I do" he said.

 

"Now do you Im Yoona take Lee Seung Gi as your lawfully wedded husband?" The priest asked again.

 

The moment I heard the priest asking that, my hands were trembling in fear and hope, hoping that she would reject him and come to me instead.

 

But…

 

"I do" she smiled at him.

 

I felt my heart breaking into million pieces pulverized like the sand as I felt tears rushing down my cheeks but I quickly wiped them before anyone sees it though I know Jessica saw it and her cause I saw her looking past through Seung Gi to me but I just smiled the most happy smile that I could project.

 

"Now among us all, does anyone wants to object? Speak now or forever hold your peace" the priest asked to all of us.

 

I want to object and claimed her but I can't, she’ll be more happier with him and we don’t have anything between us now, well not anymore I don’t want to cause an uproar at her wedding day. I want it to be perfect just like how we want and imagined our wedding to be before, in the past.

 

“I would do anything to make you happy, even if it hurts me” I whispered as I look at her eyes staring back at me.

 

“Please be happy…”

 

"Okay I state this couple officially married, please seal it with a kiss" the priest said.

 

"KISS! KISS! KISS!" the crowd chanted except from me and maybe Jessica.

 

I clenched my fist as I saw him leaning closer to her as she closed her eyes and did it too, and finally their lips met.

 

At that moment I know…I knew I lost her and I couldn't get her back anymore.

 

The wedding ended and I saw all of the visitors happily congratulating the two of them while I just hid behind one of the pillars outside holding to the ring that I made for her and promised to give her.

 

The promise that I failed to do.

 

 

 All those times we spend together, I will never forget it, how you captured my heart, how you make me feel love and heartbroken for the first time…

 

And the promises we made to each other.

 

“I love you…I will always love you Yoong…You’re my one and only, forever” I said looking at the clear sky contrast to the unbearable pain that I was feeling right now

 

~~~~~~~~~

 

Sometimes you just have to hold your head up high blink away the tears and say goodbye.

 

~~~~~~~~~