“GODAMMIT!” the door, dragged heavily across the lovely marbles, creaking harshly at each shove the young man made. Changhyun sighed, tired and sick of his own home rebelling against his return after a long day. But when it finally did open, his steps hesitated at the loud silence inside.

Going up the long staircase, his heart was in pain which had lingered from the absence of the person he needed two year ago. 24 months passed by, never hitching or pausing at his sadness and so, Yoo Changhyun grew within the time. He stared at the mirror, tensed by the reflection as his hands swept away the dark, glossy brown hair. Somehow the brunette shade worked great for his face. He looked older, much more mature and in fact, almost daunting. Immediately, he peeled off the layers of jackets and changed into a knitted sweatshirt, leaning back on his huge wing chair and instinctively turning on his red blazing lappy.

He smirked at how his foot comfortably touches the stack of boxes under his table, he’d grown taller. That idiot wouldn’t be able to mock him about his height anymore, he thought, as he stared at the bright blank screen.

Then, slowly, the sounds of clacking echoed across the room.

• 2 SEPT 2012 ; 22:15, MONDAY •

THERE WAS ANOTHER SIGHTING. HAN SUK PUNG, 56, LIVES 2 KILOMETRES FROM THE KEUMGANG. I DON’T KNOW. SO FAR THERE WAS SIX REPORTS THAT THIS DRUNK MAN HAD PROVIDED ME AND NOT ONE OF THEM WERE VERIFIABLE. BUT I HOPE IT’S TRUE, I’M PRAYING IT IS.

ITS BEEN FOUR MONTHS SINCE I AM SURE, THAT CHANGJO IS SOMEWHERE NEAR. I DON’T BELIEVE WHAT THEY SAY; THEY’RE JUST CONVINCING ME TO MOVE ON. I CAN’T. I WON’T.

MET CHOI JUNG AGAIN TONIGHT, I WANTED TO STAY LONGER, BUT SOMETHING MADE MY THEORIES CLEAR, THERE WERE TWO VODKA GLASS. ONE WAS CRACKED AND KNOWING HER ATTITUDE, SHE ISN’T THE ONE THAT WOULD RESORT TO VIOLENCE. I ASKED HER IF IT’S HIM, SHE DENIED OF COURSE SAYING THAT I DON’T KNOW CHANGJO AS WELL, TELLING ME THAT CHANGJO WAS A SWEET BOY, NEVER HOSTILE.

WELL ITS EITHER SHE’S WRONG OR SHE’S LYING. BECAUSE I KNEW THAT HE WAS LIKE A TIME BOMB, I SEE IT EVERY SECOND THAT I SPENT WITH HIM BEFORE.

HE WAS ALWAYS, SOMEHOW ANGRY.

BUT I LOVED IT, EVEN THAT SCARY PART OF HIM

LAW SCHOOL IS A PAIN BUT THANKFULLY RESOURCEFUL. ENROLLMENT IS WITHIN THIS MONTH AND I HAVE TO SAY I’M EXCITED, I AM GOING TO BE A DETECTIVE CHANGJO-YA AND WITH THIS TITLE, I’LL FIND YOU.

I PROMISE. LOVE YOU.

The noises stopped, so did his lungs. They paused the moment he typed the two last words, it was suddenly so distinct, the pain of longing. Honestly, he still had to fight the urges from crying and though he thought, he was stronger; Changjo was a subject that could make him mad.

Then, the sound of the heavy wooden door slipped through his walls and he stood up. Wearing another layer of cardigan, he swept his overgrown bangs to the back and headed down to the dining room, with a smile on his face. As he went down, he saw Chunji, smiling brightly with bags of groceries filling his hands. The elder just couldn’t walk properly as he kept turning back, with his squinty eyes flickering happy. Then, as Changhyun smiled wider, LJoe walked in with a trolley filled with new stacks of books. The latter too was preoccupied as he kept staring blissfully at Chunji, laughing like an idiot.

But when the blue haired angel looked up, Changhyun held his breath. Somehow deep inside his heart, he had hoped that the two eyes that were staring back were blue.

But it was green, and that color had brought the younger back into his dreaded reality where there was no one he knew that had those breath taking, sea painted eyes. Changhyun smiled back as he continued his steps, handing Chunji a hand as he mentally reminded himself that Changjo was not there. “y-ya! I bought you some puzzles, wanna play later?”

The youngest smirked as he opened the two-door fridge, eyes scanning for some beer. Just when he had reached for one, the blonde hair latter snatched it away. “Not yet. It’s the third one this week, seriously.” Ljoe giggled at the sight as he filled the newly placed rack with the new sets of literature. Changhyun intuitively gave Chunji the ‘glare’ earning an honest growl from the elder as he walked away from the counter top. Then as he stared at his beloved Ljoe, his eyes trailed the white colored ink vining down the elder’s neck.

“Hyung… your tattoo… it’s fading.”

“Yeah, ever since last month they stopped pulsing and well, it looks pretty cool huh?”

“Yeah… real pretty.” The younger replied as his mind lingered to a familiar back, warm and forgiving. His fingers started to claw the glass as the image of the taller became more vivid and it was overwhelming for Changhyun whenever Changjo had haunted his mind. “Hey, breathe.” the b tears disappeared and Changhyun took a deep breath, as he thankfully nodded at Chunji who somehow, was always there whenever his longing became a plague-like trance. Ljoe’s concerned sigh echoed as he slammed the closet close, incredibly worried at the unusual state the youngest was in. While in Chunji’s eyes, Changhyun was once again trapped inside a mental dungeon.

The sound of the beer’s gentle landing on the counter top made a peaceful click, as the blonde haired angel turned away, allowing Changhyun to drink his pain away.

“Kumawo, hyung…”

⇔

The sound of flesh ripping apart was making the blue haired angel queasy as it sounded dreadfully similar to when his wing was ripped off, however the fact that Changhyun was eating too fast, too well made the elder’s appetite die away. He looked at Chunji, brows raised and lips pursed as he stared at his boyfriend who seemed too occupied with his own dinner. “Don’t you think Changhyun eating too much, babe?”

“It’s been years, his appetite had probably changed dear” The blonde latter replied rather bluntly, as he kept cutting into the well-cooked steak. Groaning, Ljoe looked back at the youngest, who was still stuffing food endlessly into his mouth and silenced by the bare amount of it. “Yah, yah! You’ll choke seriously. Damnit … what happened to you?”

His hand paused and the whipped potato fell silently down his plate. He was choking, emotionally and yet, no matter how hard he tried to smile and fake away the pain, his face spelled agony. So with his expression rather fractured, he looked down and spoke.

“Well an old friend told me to eat more, he said I was too light and he was worried I might be blown away by the breeze. So I’m eating more, then, I can show him how strong I’ve gotten. Haha.”

He laughed, but a tear fell down into his gravy, slowly dissolving as he spooned it back into his mouth, hiding it away. “But isn’t it great? I can practically beat someone up these days”

“And use your muscle instead of your gifted brain, you’re wasting your wisdom ara?”

“Yeah I don’t like you doing law or that police-ish stuff. It’s dangerous really”

Chunji nodded in approvement as he gracefully swapped the plate of cut meat with Ljoe’s untouched steak. “Hyung, this job… it makes me happy to help people okay. And I’m not wasting anything; I’m just keeping this intelligence for a better purpose… perhaps”

The youngest retorted as he continued eating, unfazed by his guardian’s concerned critiques whereas Chunji paused, he felt a certain jab as he heard Changhyun’s answer. He knew exactly why the younger was doing what he was doing, and there he was acting stupid. The elder sighed, placing his forks down and stood up, “I’ll go get us more wine.”

Ljoe knew that look on Chunji’s face. He knew it better than anyone else and yet, he was fighting against himself, whether to just ask or keep quiet. He was asleep for too long, he knew that aside from Changhyun, the man he loved might just change as much. “Im out for some air… can you tell Chunji that I’ll be back before sunrise?”

“Of course.”

“When is he coming back?” the bottle of wine clicked on table as the angel put it down gently, somehow not surprised by the sudden absence. “Before sunrise” the younger answered casually as he laid his head back to chair, his hand running through his brunette locks and swiping them away from his eyes. “Hyung… tell me that story again. That story where you killed my one and only boyfriend. Would you?”

The wine glass tipped and it fell down to the floor like a rain of diamonds, shattered and glistening red from the liquor.