My very first day. I stepped into the quiet class. Students were immersed in their Chemistry paper. It was one of the examination day that I had to experience on my very first day of school. With nothing being prepared for the current examination, I tip-toed to my table not wanting to disturb any of my new classmates. As I settled down, the teacher who was watching me from the start slowly closing the distance between us, she too, tried to be as sneaky as possible. She placed a book of question papers on top of the table. She then asked me if I had any answer sheet. I shook my head. Like I said, I did not prepare for the examination. She went back to her table and took an answer sheet from her table. She placed it on top of the question book with a smile on her face. She seemed warm. Then she wrote number 7 on the top right of my answer sheet. She whispered slowly saying that it was my sit number. I had to write it myself next time. I nodded and smiled to her. She signed my answer sheet and went back to her sit. I inhaled and exhaled. Took out my pencil case and grabbed a blue pen. How the hell was I supposed to answer this thing when I didn't even go to school for three months. Thanks to the school for slowing my process of school transference. I sighed heavily. Screw this examination.

 

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Lunch was over. I though I would had to have my lunch alone in the bathroom like Lindsay Lohan did in The Mean Girls movie. My imagination. But then, two of my classmates were kind to ask me to join them and their friends at the school cafeteria. I tagged along. Kristal and Sulli were their names. Well, the lunch . Not the food. The people. Kristal and Sulli barely talk to me and I was isolated by their friends. There I was eating alone at a table beside their table with strangers that checked me out like I was actually came out from the zoo. They were talking and laughing out loud like they owned the school, but I was so quiet eating my lunch alone not bother to but into their conversation and acted like I was all friendly. It was just not my style. Sure I was out going and loud. Not too much different from them, but it was my first day. I didn't want them to think that I was too much for a first day student. Pfft! Screw them too!

 

I told them I would get going first, they just ignored me. So I just went back to the class alone. Whatever, like I care. When I arrived at the class, I saw a girl sat on her place. She was at the very corner of the class. She was alone. Just like me. She stared blankly at whatever in front of her. I thought I would say hi to her. She seemed like a nice type to be my new friend.

 

“Hi” I tried to start a conversation.

 

“Hi! You're new here right?” She asked.
 

“Yeah. I'm Eun Na. You?” I held out my hand for a shake.

 

“Nicole. People call me Nicky” She smiled. Her smile was bright. She seemed so cheerful.

 

“Okay! Hi Nicky!” I pulled a chair to sit in front of her.

 

“So. How's school so far?” She asked.

“Fine I guess. Why are you alone?”

“I don't really have friends in this class” She paused to giggle. “I'm new too. I came here a month ago” She put on a smile. She doesn't seemed sad.

 

“Really? How's people here?” I suddenly wanted to know.

 

“Here?” She giggled again. “” She cupped my ear.

 

“I know” Then I gave her a warm smile.

 

We chatted some more before the next exam started. We shared a lot on our first conversation. She was so open. I was comfortable around her. Way more comfortable then when I was around Kristal and Sulli and her friends.

 

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A week passed just like that after the examination was over. Then the holiday passed. My holiday was nothing. Well, I did nothing. Practically I just sat on my bed and breaking down with my six strings. I sang, people said I had nice voice. Well, people were never honest. I never thought my voice was good, but I do love singing. Then again, playing guitar was one of my favorite things to do.

 

School reopened. I walked to the assembly hall. The mid term started. We had assembly on every Monday. So that assembly was none other like passed Monday's assembly. I twirl around to search for Nicole. I walked some more and spotted her somewhere near the corner. She was on the floor sitting Indian style leg crossed. She was reading something. I guessed it was her never finished novel. If I'm not mistaken, it was My Little Black Dress. She said she never finished that novel no matter how hard she tried. I jumped in front of her. She startled.

 

“Hi Nicky!” I smiled.

 

“Hi! How's your holiday?” She closed her novel and shoved it inside her Converse black backpack.

“! I'm glad school finally reopened” I giggled.

 

Five minutes after that, we queued according to class. The program was starting. I stood in front of Nicole, as usual since she was way taller than me. The MC stood in front with a microphone in her hand. She babbled something. I'm not sure what but I really don't want to know. I was not at all listening to whatever she had to say. Right at that boring moment, I looked around. My head suddenly turned to my left and there I saw somebody. That somebody caught my eyes. He stood a feet on my left. That was where late students usually stood.

 

“Babe! Check out on your left!” I patted Nicole's thigh.

 

“Who?” She turned to her left.

 

“The blonde!” I said.

 

“That hottie? How come I never saw him before?” She asked me.

 

“How should I know? I thought you're here way before I am. He's cute isn't he?” I smiled cheekily.

 

“I know right? But not my style!” She giggled.

 

“Tsskk! He's mine!” I stuck out my tongue.

 

“As if!” She covered her laugh.

 

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The next day, I saw him again. I'm really curious with the blonde guy. I swore his face was so familiar, but I didn't know where did I ever saw him. It was recess, and I was at the balcony in front of my class. Scanning people around. Nicole was right beside me. We always do that. Eying people. Sometimes we would see the 'Blank Oppa'. He was a senior who always looked blank every time we spotted him but his cuteness was no exception. He was totally cute! Then Nicole nudged me with her elbow. She said she spotted the 'Demon' as what we named him. Demon was another cutey who happened to be a school bad boy. That's why we called him Demon. Yeah. We did that a lot. We randomly named people. After that we would laugh over nothing. That morning, I saw 'him' again. He was late, again. I didn't know why but he made my heart skip a beat even though he didn't even notice I was there.

 

“Hey look! It's Cameron!” Nicole tugged my school uniform.

 

“Cameron?” I made a face.

 

“That blonde hottie!” She explained.

 

“Is that what his name is?” My face lightened up as my eyes went crazy trying to find his trace.

 

“Nope! I felt like naming him Cameron” She said then we broke into laughter.

 

“Cameron it is then!” I replied. I finally found him. He was with his friends climbing up flights of stairs to the top of the floor. I guessed his class was located there. After I lost his sight, I pulled Nicole back to our class.

 

In class, Minji was fanning herself. She was sweating like a pig! She was sitting alone at the back of the class. After the examination, Nicole decided to seat beside me in class leaving Minji alone at the back of the class. Minji was never close to our classmates. She said our girls classmates were all es, so Nicole and I were her only girl friends in our class. But Minji was extremely popular in our school. Everybody knows her. She was super friendly with everybody including our principal. Interesting ey? She was close with everybody except girls from our class. Her friends were all from different classes, but her bestfriend who happened to be a guy was in our class. Minwoo, he's quiet a hottie you know? So I called Minji incased she knew anything about 'Cameron'.

 

“Minji!” I waved my hand. She smiled and came to us. She pulled a chair and sat in front of us.

 

“Hey y!” She said and winked at us. Yeah! She's always that playful.

 

“I wanna ask you something!” I blurted out.

 

“Yeah sure. What?” She leaned closer to me when I motioned her to come over.

 

“Do you know who's the blonde guy?”

 

“Which blonde guy? We got a lot of blonde guys in this school”

 

“The one that always comes late to school. He's tall, and very handsome!” Nicole explained.

 

“Who? Young Min?” Minji scratched her head.

 

“I don't know, but I saw him having lunch at the cafeteria just now. At the popular kids table. I think I saw one of your friend there” I tried to give more details.

 

“Ahhh! Yeah! It's Young Min. For sure! He's the only blond who hangs with us. Why? You like him?” She smirked.

 

“I don't know. He seemed familiar though” I laughed.

 

“Of course. His twin is an actor”

 

“Omo! So that's where I saw him!! Jo Kwang Min! Right? So he's Jo Young Min?” I said.

 

“Yeah. That's him”

 

“Is Kwang Min go to school here?” Nicole asked. She seemed like she was hoping Kwang Min went to our school.

 

“Nopeeeee! Their parents divorced a long time ago. His mom took Kwang Min and he's living with he's dad” With that Minji went back to her place. She took out her book and started to randomly scribbling.

 

I slumped my back, back to my seat. Jo Young Min. I smiled.

 

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“Eun Na-yah!!” I heard Minji called me from behind.

 

“Waeyo?” I turned to find Minji grinning. “Mwoya?”

 

“Nicole is absent right?”

“Neh. So?”

 

“Who are you going lunch with?”

 

“Alone I guess?”

 

“Join me! My friends wanted to know you some more! It's totally cool if you join me! You're my girlfriend after all?” She winked again. I couldn't do anything but followed her as she grabbed my arm. When Minji do that, nobody could resist her. Her deathly wink. It's a killer!

 

So I just followed her to the cafeteria. I didn't have any appetite to eat, so I just tailed Minji and waited for her to finish buying lunch, then we waited for her friends to buy lunch. Minji's friend, CL was waiting for her chicken, yes. She love chicken a lot. After that, Minji dragged me to a table. The popular kids table! I was stiffed as a steel. I tugged Minji's school uniform.

 

“Do we have to sit here?” I made a pathetic face.

 

“Whae-” Then she spotted Young Min in front of her. “Oh! Sorry!!! But my friends are going to sit here. Just ignore him okay?” Minji said.

 

It was so awkward back then. Too awkward to mention. There were not enough sit so I had to stand up while Minji sat at the edge of the bench. Young Min sat right in front of me. It was a session of agony back then. After Minji finished eating, she pulled me to sit on her lap. I comply to her. Felt better. My legs were going to pull off if I stood any more longer.

 

“Minji” I heard Young Min called.

 

“Eung?” Minji turned to him. She couldn't answer 'yes' because there was a mouthful of food in .

 

“Who is your new friend?” I saw him smiling at me. Oh my God! Could this guy be any more hotter?

“Igeo?(This thing)” Minji pointed at me.

 

“Who are you calling this thing?” I glared at her.

 

“Hehe! Mian” She grinned. “Eun Na. She's my classmate.

 

“Ouh. Hi!” He said. I waved at him but I didn't speak. I was too shy and it was too awkward. That was the first time I talked to him though.

 

They finished their lunch and we were heading towards the badminton court. The badminton court was located right under our academic building. It was an open court. There were many students hanging out there just chilling with their mates before heading to class and proceeded with their learning session. We could actually see everything from down here as the court was at the center of the building. We sat right at the center of the court. We made a circle and I sat outside of the circle. I sat right behind Minji. YoungMin sat beside Minji so I was much as close to Young Min. I wanted to move away, but I didn't know anybody but Minji there, so I just sat there listening to their conversation that I was left behind. Minji was too engrossed talking about her favorite teacher when Young Min suddenly called me. I felt like my body was actually stopped functioning.

 

“Which school were you from?” He asked.

 

“xxx High School” I said, stuttering along the way. My breathing was unsecured.

“Woah! Isn't that the famous boarding school? Why did you transferred here? This school is nothing compared to yours?” He played with a stick. I didn't know where did he get that.

 

“Pretty much. Hurm. I guess I couldn't live in a boarding school. Too much pressure.” I laughed cutely. Kekeeekee.

 

“You're having fun here?”

 

I nodded.

 

“Good then. Tell me if you want me to beat somebody” Then he laughed. He was so sweet!

 

Our conversation didn't end there. We chatted some more before the bell ring and everybody scattered and headed to their own class. Including Young Min, Minji, and I.

 

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Months passed and me and Young Min grew even closer to each other. We exchanged numbers and been in contact ever since. But things doesn't always stays the same. It's been a week since I last talked to Jo Young Min. He doesn't seems to have any intention to talk to me anymore. In school, he changed when he's in front of me. He looked away every time he saw me. He didn't reply when I texted him. He didn't call back when I call him. He didn't even say hi if he passed through me. He doesn't even know my name anymore. At least that's what I thought he was. He doesn't use the stair near my class anymore. The balcony in front of my class? He never stepped on that place anymore. I never had lunch at the cafeteria for the whole week after I realized his changes. It was too much to bear if I had to see his face knowing that he doesn't know me anymore.

 

I asked Minji what happened with him. Minji said she doesn't have a clue. Minwoo had always been Minji's bestfriend and a very close friend of Young Min. I went to Minwoo's place and sat right in front of him. He looked at me with a cute smile on his face. Oh! And sweats. He sweats a lot.

 

“Do you know what happened to Young Min?” I asked him. He was taken aback but sighed after.

 

“He's ignoring you huh?” He sounded concern.

 

“Yeap!”

 

“I know why” His face changed.

 

“Huh?”

 

“You like him. Right?”

 

“What?”

 

“I know you likes him. He knows it too”

 

“What the hell are you talking about Minwoo?”

 

“I'm talking about the whole reason he's been ignoring you. He knows you like him, that's why he has been a total jerk ignoring you”

 

“But why?”

 

“Because he doesn't want you to confess to him that you like him”

 

“That doesn't make any sense!”

 

“Suit yourself then” I stood up and went back to my place. I was feeling rather torn apart. Yes! I like Young Min! I liked him too much that I could die! Why did he ignore me just for a simple fact that I like him? That's all! I saw Minwoo came back to me. He bent down and whispered to me.

 

“He was afraid that he couldn't make you happy. That's why he doesn't want you to confess”

 

“Huh?” I was so confused now. Minwoo went back to his place after telling me that and leaving me hanging till our teacher came in.

 

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It's been a week since I last saw Young Min at school. Minwoo said Young Min was visiting his twin. He was taking a break. There were even rumors about him changing school and live with his mother for good since his father was too busy for him. I wanted to forget him. I wanted to forget him for good.

 

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Another week passed and he still didn't come to school. I guess the rumors were true after all. About him changing school. I was in my room. Playing guitar. It was heartbreaking thinking of him. I put my guitar on my bed and went to my balcony. I climbed the balcony and hugged my feet while feeling the cold breeze brushing my skin. The sky was pitch black. No stars tonight. The gray clouds were covering them just like how they covered my heart.

 

Unknowingly, I was holding a pen on my right hand. I forgot I was feeling like writing a song but I changed my mind and went to the balcony. That's how the pen got in my hand in the first place. Looking at the sky, I pulled my house pants up to my thigh and started to write.

 

Here I was. Waiting for you to come back. How hard I was falling for you and you left me here hanging without a bye to end our relationship. Don't you know you're hurting me right now? You said you were afraid if you were not be able to put a smile on my face, but you managed to let my tears fall out on my face. How more cruel can you be? Rewind! Remember how you would hug me while I was screaming in fear when we watch that horror movie? How you wiped away my tears when I cried because my cat died? You were not my boyfriend, but you were always there. It would be nice if you would hug me right now because the cold wind didn't do any good. Jo Young Min, it hurts.

 

I looked at the sky. It was getting darker. I shifted my gaze to my thigh. The black ink covered my right thigh. I didn't know I wrote that long, but I felt better. A whole lot better. Then I felt warm liquid on my cheek. Tears. I smiled. How could this turned out so ugly. I sighed and went back to my bed.

 

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The next day, I was inside my class learning Korean language subject. Korean was harder than English. I thought to myself. Right then, I heard noises. Buzzing noises like people were talking.. asgw;nxwbytw.. I couldn't understand a thing. I was immersing myself in my novel that I hid inside my Korean language text book. I heard a knock on the door but I ignored it. Then I felt Nicole nudging me with her elbow.

 

“What the hell Nick-” I stopped as I stared at the door. The familiar figure that I missed the most.

 

He was not wearing a school uniform. He looked the same except, he colored his hair black and when he smiled, it was not the same as what I saw before. Did he really change this much?

 

“Can I see Eun Na for a while?” He said. Mwuoh? Me? Why? I thought he's ignoring me.

 

I watched as my classmates put of their envious faces. Especially Sulli and Kristal. Whatever like I careee.

 

“I thought you doesn't know me anymore!” I barked at him.

 

“Huh?”

 

“How could you ignored me like that! I was suffering for a long time you know?!!” I started hitting him hard.

 

“Wait wait wait stop!!” He grabbed my arms. “I'm not Young Min!” He said.

 

“Huh?” Just then I stopped. I looked at him. More like starring. That's why he looked similar but not the same. “Kwang Min?”

 

“Exactly my point!” He said and sighed. “I came to tell you something”

 

“Where's Young Min?”

 

“That's what I'm going to tell you” He rolled his eyes. “Listen well okay?”

 

I nodded.

 

“Young Min is not coming back to this school” I held back my tears. “He got into a huge crash when he was on his way to see me. That's why he had been absent for so long now. He was not himself after he woke up. He didn't know anybody, but me. Not even our parents. He didn't know his name, but he knows mine. He didn't know how old he is, or where he came from. He forgot everything about himself but he remembered me. He forgot about you too. But I found your picture in his iPhone” He showed me YoungMin's iPhone. I knew it was his because of the cover.

 

I covered my mouth. It was the picture of me and him on the day he accompanied me to watch movie. We took some selcas and he made one of the picture as his wallpaper. He got me as his wallpaper. I couldn't hold back my tears anymore and a tear sled down my cheek.

 

“Oh. One more thing” He touched the screen a couple of times and showed me a note hand written on the iPhone screen. It said : Mianhaeyo C.E.N. I wish I won't have to forget you. 12^th July 2011. C.E.N. Choi Eun Na. I figured it was my initial. “It was written on the day of the crash.” He continued.

 

“But how?”

 

“I have no idea. Eun Na. I have to go. I wish I could stay and tell more about him but I got schedule after this. Im sorry” He said and hugged me.

 

I dropped myself on the floor. Seeing his figure walking away from me. I was crying hard so Minji and Nicole went to me to coo me.

 

[Authors POV].

 

Eun Na was crying as Kwang Min left her on the floor. He turned to the corner and met Young Min who had been standing there for the past few minutes.

 

“Hyung. Let's go.” Kwang Min grabbed his arm but he stayed.

 

“You go first. I'll catch up with you later” He said.

 

“Eun Na. Mian. Cheongmal mianhaeyo. I didn't mean to do this to you, but I have to. I'll find you some day. I promise” He rested his head on the wall and a silent tear sled down his cheek.