14 December....

“Should I knock on the door ? loolz” I texted him while I was a few steps away from his house.

He opened the door and I could see that he was different yet still the same. He was wearing shirt and jeans, so damn neat and that smile was still the same.

Without saying a word of greeting, he just let me came inside, as if it was a normal thing, as if nothing had happened, as if we were close but in fact, we hadn’t met for ages, for more than one and half year. We had passed by each other occasionally, exchanged a few greetings but that was it. Yet, I entered his house like it was my own.

It was almost the same as last time that I was here, a dim hallway with things scattered around on the floor which I almost tripped over the vacuum if he didn’t hold me back. I took a deep breath, the scent was still the same. The special scent that I could only find in his house or on his clothes, faint and light yet still sweet. I had fallen in love with that scent, addicted and I still do, a scent that no perfume can be compared to.

I opened the container of sushi that I had bought on the way, noticing that he was putting away a box of cereal.

“Did you have cereal for breakfast?” I asked while stuffing my mouth with sushi. Whenever I’m with him, I just feel comfortable, feel like I can be myself, that I don’t need to be so careful of my actions.

“Yeah.” He replied as he put a piece of sushi inside his mouth without asking for permission, as if it was his. It didn’t bother me though, not at all because I was so comfortable as well. I handed him the money that I got from selling some stuffs for him, it was the reason for our meeting.

“But isn’t it time for lunch? Shouldn’t you eat something more filling?” Still stuffing sushi in my mouth continuously, I must admit that I was starving.

“Isn’t it still early? Like 10?” He retorted.

“It’s 10:56...” I pulled out my phone and checked the time.

“Close enough.” He brushed it off, so typical of him.

“I moved Nib’s cage to a new spot.” He said as I was gulping down the last piece of sushi.

“Really?”  I stood up and headed for the backyard. Nib was the stray guinea pig that we found in a park by chance. We didn’t know where it came from nor how it ended up hiding behind the barrier that was meant to fence for some type of pipes. It was terrified of human back then, we had to stay at least two metres away for it to come out and eat the grass. In the end, we had decided to capture it since there was no sight of its owner. He ended up keeping it since I was unable to have a pet.

“It’s chubby!” I exclaimed while kneeling on the grass, looking at Nib.

“I’ve been feeding him a lot.” He proudly said.

“He’s gona be obese!” I teasingly retorted while gently gazing at Nib. It had been a long time.

“No he won’t.” He plucked out the peg that was keeping the cage from being move by Nib. He lifted his self-made cage to let the guinea pig out. We weren’t worried that it would run away because it had gotten use to us. I believed it knew that this place was its home, the place where it was treated right. I was glad that we rescued Nib, looking at chewing some grass, my heart felt somewhat touching and happy. I took out my instant camera (polaroid) from my bag, I wanted to capture the moment.

Snap! The photo was taken.

I threw the film on the worn out table nearby, letting the image appear while I made my way to Dust’s cage. Dust was a black dwarf rabbit that he bought so Nib could have a friend.

“Its fur changed colour. Now it looks more brown-ish.” I commented as I opened the cage to let it out.

“Yeah. It just happened that way.” He shrugged while sitting next to me.

“I wonder if it’s going to turn white. It would be pretty cool, isn’t it?”

“It would.”

Snap! Snap! Snap!

I was taking more photos of Nib and Dust, I wanted to keep the memory forever. However, when I looked at the films, the images didn’t turn out nicely because I had forgotten to change the light setting.

“Epic fail.” He teasingly smirked.

“I can always take more.” I refilled the camera with new films and chased after the pets again.

Dust had hopped into the bushes near the fence so I couldn’t get a shot. While waiting, I looked through the lenses and suddenly, I wanted to take a picture of him. He was holding his cat, Storm, so that it would not randomly attack Nib. When I was about to press the button, he noticed and covered his face straight away. Sensing the challenge, I took it head on, I would not back down until I get a shot.

I tried again but this time, he snatched the camera from me. How I wished I was taller because I couldn’t reach his hand but I got a plan. I punched his stomach slightly which caused him to be off guard and snatched back my camera.

Once again, I pointed the camera at him, trying to quickly capture that face but he dropped down on the ground. He was hugging my legs, burying his face away from the camera. Not losing to him, I squatted down, trying to lift his face up with my hand but he grabbed my hand. Unbalanced, I fell to the ground and the camera had fallen out of my hand.

I tried to grab it but he stopped me by throwing it further away. I tried to reach for it but he tackled me down, firmly held down my hands. I could feel his strong grip but I didn’t give up. I kicked his stomach with my knee and freed my hands. However, he tickled me as I attempted to take a shot. His body was on top of me as I was lying on my stomach.

I tried to turn around but the tickling was getting in the way. After a few struggles, I faced him but the camera was beside him. I stared at his face for a second, it was the same as I remembered. He grinned, a wide smile was on his face.

“Giving up yet?” He asked even though he knew the answer.

“Nope.” I grabbed the camera and took a shot, not caring whether it was a success or not, I threw the film on the grass, ready to take another shot.

He yanked the camera out of my hand, threw it far away. I tried to get up but couldn't. He was tickling me and his warm breath was against my neck, sending shivers down my spine. He still remembered it, my weak spot. I bit his arm to flee but instead of escaping, my neck was bitten. It didn't hurt, not at all, I could feel his teeth against my skin and the warmth from his breath.

Still persisting, I tickled him back, knowing that he is way more sensitive than myself. He was squirming yet still hadn't loosen his grip on me. I chuckled as I tickled him more, seeing him like this made me remembered of our time back then, when we were still dating. Time sure flied, we dated for one and half year, broke up for another one and half year and at this moment, we were so close to each other. I could feel his body against mine, I could feel the warmth of his face when he accidently(?) rubbed it against mine. 

He had loosen up so I took the chance and grabbed the camera. However, I took a few random shots as he was hovering over me again. This battle could continue on forever but I didn't mind. 

"Why are you avoiding? Photophobia?" I laughed at him.

"Just don't wana!" He replied as he bit my cheek. His reply was just the same as before, always opposing me yet we didn't even have a real fight. We were always teasing each other, fussing over small things but we didn't fight. Somehow we managed to solve everything, yet, we still drifted apart.

"Ouch!" It didn't hurt really but I was taken by surprise.

He started to tickle me again while hooking his face in my neck. I felt the breeze against my skin, that tingling feeling was sent throughout my body. I could hear his quiet pants which made me realise I was also out of breath. He bit me once again, I closed my eyes. His bites were addicting, they made me feel loved and belonged. I wanted more and more but I know I shouldn't lose my mind. After all, we were just friends. 

I looked at him, in those beautiful eyes, perhaps I saw that he also longed for me but I wasn't sure. I wished I could read his mind at that very moment, I wished could get the answer that I yearned for. I turned my face away, if I had looked any longer, I might had kissed him. I missed him so much, just like the saying you only realise the worth of something when it's gone.

I didn't know that I would still love him, with the same amount or even more. I thought I could forget, I had crushes on others during the time we had broken up but nothing worked out. I realised that those were just flings, my heart was just shaken up a bit, the feeling was nothing in comparison to my love for him. I realised that I had just simply setted my love for him aside, hidden at the bottom of my heart, not letting it interfere with my life. I was that type of person, not letting emotions to take control of my life. 

He was biting my ear, one of my weak spots. My breath was shorten, I gasped as I felt his hot tongue was ravishing my ear. I missed him, I missed his touches, I wanted him but I couldn't say those words. I wanted to whisper into his ear the three worded sentence "I miss you".

Each of his touch burnt my body, his body had always been warmer than mine so in winter, I always loved to snuggle in his embrace. His grip against my hands were loosen again, but I didn't want him to let go, I wanted to hold those hands, to squeeze them tight and never let go. I grabbed the camera and took a shot of the back of his head. At least I would have a photo of him to look at even if it was just his back.

"Did you just take it like that?"He asked as he rolled over and lied down on the grass, next to me.

"Yeah." I replied,still panting, I turned my head to look at him. The sun was blinding, it was summer nonetheless so I couldn't ask for a cold weather.

"Isn't it a waste of film? You told me that it was expensive." He closed his eyes while placing his hand on his forehead. Perhaps he was trying to cool himself down.

"I still have a lot at home." I held up the camera as I checked for the number of film. "Aish, there's only one more."

"I win!" He said.

"Yeah. But that doesn't mean I give up." I giggled.

"As always." He was above me again. 

Everytime he touched me, I felt that my body longed for more. It was just tickling, yet I found myself losing control. I wanted to touch him back, I wanted to hug him tightly, to let him know how much I want him back. There was no one else could make me feel like this. The hold of his hands made me feel secured and warmed even if it was forced. I had held others' hands before, but the warmth was not the same nor was the feeling it gave. Only him could and can make me feel this way.

We wrestled around on the grass, under the sun, on a hot day but we didn't care, or at least, I didn't care. I looked at his face again, not handsome nor beautiful, it was just him and I loved it that way. My whole inside was trembling but I tried to keep calm on the outside. I bit his ear in return, I could have said "I miss you" then but I had let the chance passed by. I couldn't bring  myself to say those words, there was lump stuck in my throat, preventing me from speaking. 

After some more struggles, I tried to bite his cheek but I actually kissed it. He was surprised but said nothing. Instead, he tickled me even more and continously biting my neck here and there. I was gasping and panting but I realised it was a golden chance to take a photo. Sneakily, I grabbed hold of the camera I took one last shot. I was sure that it was a success but he had taken the film before I could. 

"Give it back!" I yelled.

"It's mine."

"How's it yours? I bought the film and camera." I sulked.

"But it has me in it." He smiled while teasingly waving the photo in front of me.

"Fine, keep it." I relaxed my body while lying, I was a bit tired from all the rolling and resisting.

He lied down next to me again, I stared at him. He was still the same as before, the same person that I had fallen in love with. Just how did we fall apart, I wondered. I regretted, I shouldn't have let him go that day, I should have clinged onto him but I knew, that it might turn out worse. We might not be what we are at this very moment if I hadn't let him go. Unconsciously, my fingers were playing with his hair, twisting it. His hair was soft, so soft and the smell of his shampoo was the same.

"What?" He asked.

"Nothing...." I replied. I wanted to tell him that I still love him. I wanted for us to go back to the time when we were dating but I couldn't utter a word. I knew  that if I see this type of scene on drama, or hear this from others, I would scream out that they should just tell their feelings. They should just let it out and face the consequences but when it was me, I just couldn't say anything. I finally understood how hard it is to convey your deep feelings.

Suddenly, his alarm rang. 

"Aish, I have to go to my friend birthday. I almost forget." He read the reminder from his phone. He got up and headed inside.

"I should get going then." I smiled, once again, I had missed my chances.

"Let's head out together." He said.

I looked at my arms to discover scratches were all over me, but they weren't hurting. My heart was. We walked to the train station together since it was on my way anyway. I wished time would slow down so I could be with him for a bit long. I wished I had the courage to grab his hand and say "I want you back". But I didn't.

"Have fun." I said my goodbye. 

"Thank you." That was the last word I heard from him.

He disappeared from my sight and suddenly, I was overwhelmed with regret. I pulled out my phone and texted him, not caring anymore.

"It's too late for me to say I want you back isn't it?"

Yes, it ended like that. Continuation? I don't know because it's a story without an end hahahahahaha I put the photo of the pets coz a picture is more than 1000 words, I'm bad at describing ><

P/S: tell me which pairings you use :D