December 09, 2013 - 10:50 pm

I am Lee Jinki. Or you should know me by my stage name, Onew. I am the leader of SHINee. I'm turning 25 in a couple of days. Of course, Minho will celebrate first then me. In fact, we're celebrating for his birthday right now. Our schedules just finished and we got time to celebrate.

You see, for the 24 years of my existence, I cherished the years I am with my members the most. These years were the most memorable ones for me. The hardwork we did, the tears we shed, and the happiness we shared with Shawols. I cherished all of it.

But that doesn't end there. I always eye someone in those years. Whether it was during recording or even the times when we just slumped on our couch, watching our favorite shows all together. He could always catch my attention in just doing a simple smile or even a wave of his fingers. He was strikingly beautiful in my eyes.

And yes. Don't be so surprised. You didn't read it wrong. It was a HE. He was in my group. And he goes by the name, Kim Kibum.

"Hyung~ You should drink more! Let me pour you another shot!" An obviously drunk Kibum said to me. I could only smile and decline politely, but you know him. It doesn't really work on him.

I just drank what he poured. He was my weakness after all. He smiles and walks towards me. "Hyung~ Is Kibummie pretty?" I gulped at his tone. His aegyo attacks were next.

"Ki-Kibum ah. You're drunk. You should sleep." I tried to sound serious as I can. But damn. Who, in my place, could seriously tell Kibum, who is whining in my lap, to go and sleep?

He just whines more and Jonghyun finally says that I should help him to his room. I stood up and pulled Kibum by the waist, helping him to stand up and walk. Seeing that he didn't really do a good job with it and being half-asleep, I just decided to carry him in a princess-like manner. I know he didn't like being carried like this saying that it was girly but the nagging should come later. And who knows, he might not know as he continued to snore on my chest as I made my way to his room.

"Hyung~ ajsndeneucnrjaoc...." I raised my eyebrow as Kibum mumbles when I laid him down on his bed.

"What Kibum? Could you repeat it?" I asked. He had his eyes closed so I didn't know if he's really awake or asleep.

A few seconds later, he repeats what he says, and this time a little clearer. "I asked /hiccup/ what present would you like on your birthday." After that, he goes back to snoring.

I pondered for a few seconds as I stare at his sleeping form. Did he just asked me what I like for my birthday? I tucked him under the covers and kissed his forehead, whispering the thing I want the most. I stood up and left his room.

"All I want for my birthday is you, Kim Kibum. I love you."

And from what I expected, Kibum didn't remember what happened last night. He just went back to his usual umma mode, cooking us a delicious breakfast. I know it will be like this since a drunk Kibum isn't a great talking companion. But still a part of me wishes he remembers or even heard my wish.

"Hyung! You're staring. Am I really that beautiful?" Everyone laughs at the way Kibum joked. But I don't see it that way. You're really beautiful.

"Mianhae. I had a bad morning." I cannot think for a better excuse. I should just go with this.

"Oh okay. Kids! Don't piss off hyung today, ne? Or I swear you'll face my nagging." He threatened with his scary umma mode then goes back to the sweet umma we know. Scary indeed.

"Ne." All of them said in unison and went back to eating.

I mouthed a brief 'Thanks, Kibum' and he smiled as if saying 'No problem, hyung'.

If you only knew my heart, Kibum.

December 12, 2013 - 11:00 pm

All of the members are asleep, as I last checked them. Here I am in our dorm's balcony, waiting for 11:11pm to come. You see, I heard that if you wished at 11:11 in the evening, your wish will come true. I have nothing to lose so I decided to give it a try.

Humming to my favorite songs, I occasionally check my phone for the time. Eyeing the pretty stars as the clock striked 11:11pm, I silently said my wish.

A kiss from Kibum.

The morning of December 13 came. I laughed at the wish I made last night. A kiss from him? I know it's impossible. I know it will never happen. And I feel so pathetic doing this to myself. It's like I was punishing myself. Like I was sick and Kibum's the cure.

"Hyung. Seriously, you've been strange every morning since Minho's birthday. Are you okay?" I could never escape Kibum's umma instincts.

I forced a little smile. "I'm fine. Just had many things to think about. You know, leader duties." Those words taste bitter as I said them. But Kibum seems convinced.

He pats my shoulder. "You can always share them with me. After all, you're the appa and I'm the umma of the group." I could only wish that he meant it. Like for real.

"It's nothing big that I couldn't handle. But thanks for worrying."

Why couldn't I man up and confess?

"Hyung. Tell the truth. You like Kibum, don't you?" I gulped at what Jonghyun said. How did he know?

"You know I'm thinking that you're wondering how did I know. Calm down, will you?" He chuckles at my obvious nervous state.

"How - how did you -" I stuttered in front of him. Damn.

"Everyone knows hyung. You aren't doing a great job hiding it." He left me completely dumbfounded.

EVERYONE KNOWS?! Does EVERYONE include Kibum?

I woke up to a silent morning of December 14. It's kinda unusual actually. It's already 8am and usually, the members are scrambling around the dorm all noisy and disturbing. I slept in today since I stayed up late last night, waiting for 11:11pm to make a wish. It's delusional, I know. But as I said, I got nothing to lose.

I made my way to the bathroom to start my daily morning routine as Kibum instructed me to. Applying different skin creams that helps my skin as Kibum said so. I let out a small laugh as I remember how Kibum told me these things. How he looked like a wife scolding his husband.

I fixed myself and put on some casual clothes. The dorm still feels so empty. I checked all the rooms and found none. Not even a single note.

I feel so disappointed with today. I know I love silence which is pretty seldom in our dorm. Why didn't they think of giving me one when I was reading books at my room? All they did was to disturb my little 'alone' time. But why leave me alone on my birthday? No one wants to celebrate alone, right?

I sighed as I drag myself to the kitchen and fix myself something to eat. Better pig out than sulk.

After eating a not-so-delicious late breakfast, I decided to kill time by watching some comedy movie I've been wanting to watch every movie night. It's just that Jonghyun and Minho always prefer the action ones and I never had the chance to suggest this.

Halfway into the movie and I realized that it doesn't really take my mind off the fact that I was alone today. I really feel sad. I planned a typical lazy day with my members. All I wanted was just a day with them. Nothing more.

I ungracefully slumped on my bed, back to my PJs. I don't really care what I look like right now. I could sense that my hair was sticking from different directions. But who cares? No one is even here to say that 'The Dubu Leader of SHINee looks ugly in his PJs'. And before I knew it, I drifted to my dreamland.

I felt someone tickling my sides. I was too lazy to open my eyes so I just replied a short grunt.

"Hyung~ wake up." My eyes opened after I heard the voice. I looked over to my side and noticed something. It was Kibum. Looking pretty in the clothes I bought for his birthday last September.

He laughs at me. I bet I looked horrible in my bedhair. "What time is it?" I asked, still adjusting to the light of my room.

"The night is still young, hyung! Get up and take a shower. I'll prepare your clothes." He smiled as he stood up from bed and walked towards my cabinet. "Hurry!"

I almost tripped from fastening my steps. I didn't get it why Kibum was acting like this.

Then suddenly, my wish from last night flashed back.

December 13, 2013 - 10:59 pm

I finished my night rounds around the dorm, checking if everyone was fast asleep or if the members forgot to do their chores. Sitting here in the cold balcony with just 2 layers of coat and a cup of coffee, I waited for 11:11 pm. I came to the decision that this will be the last time I'll wish. Since I've woke up to the reality that 11:11 wish doesn't really exist.

Humming to Taemin's solo song, It's You from To The Beautiful You OST, I stare at the stars above. It looks so beautiful like this. I even point 5 stars and named them after our names.

The small but shining brightly star was definitely Kim Jonghyun's. Because even though he has a bit lack of height, he still shine bright on stage. With his talent and strikingly handsome appearance.

The two stars who shine together and beside each other was clearly Lee Taemin and Choi Minho's. I named them after the two because the two stars mentioned clearly need each other to shine. Just how like Taemin inspires Minho everyday. Or vice versa.

The next one is that one star who doesn't really go well with the other's is clearly mine. I named that star after me because of his obviously awkward realationship with the other stars. But not only that. It's because it kinda points to the direction of a very pretty star, Kim Kibum's star.

I named the one who is shining the brightest as Kibum's. Because no one can be as beautiful as Kibum in my eyes. Simple as that.

Looking at the time on my phone which is exactly 11:10 pm, I realized that I almost missed 11:11 pm with my star-naming craziness. I began to think of a wish. And when 11:11 pm came, I didn't fully decide on my last wish. I kinda said it without thinking. As I blurt it out, a shooting star was seen. I just hope it makes my wish come true.

A chance in loving Kim Kibum.

I know it's not really related to what was happening right now. I didn't even know why it came running back to me. I just hope that the shooting star really made my wish come true.

I finished taking a shower and saw that Kibum is not in the room anymore. And I saw the clothes he prepared. Black V-neck, black jeans and grey cardigan. Topping it all up with a black sneakers he bought for me last year.

"Hyung! Hurry!" I heard him shout from the living room.

"Okay okay! Just a few minutes." I replied and hurriedly dried my hair.

I almost tripped when I wore the jeans. Cause you know, it's the skinny one and my thighs really gave me a hard time. Checking my appearance in the mirror one last time, I smiled as I saw that I look pretty good.

I noticed that all lights are out so I made my way to the living room with slow and steady steps. "Kibum. Why is it dark?" I asked.

I heard him chuckle and said, "Stay where you are hyung. I'll come to you." I obeyed him and waited.

A few seconds after, he was in front of me, looking as beautiful as ever. Really beautiful.

"Should I take that as a compliment?" He chuckled and blindfolded me.

"Kibum ah. It's dark. Why did you put a blindfold on me? I might trip, you know." I am worried that I'll embarrass myself in front of him.

He took my hand and entwine our fingers. "Don't worry hyung. I'll be here to catch you if you fall." My heart beat fast. If only he meant it romantically.

He slowly guided me to the place from what I recognized is the dining area. The room is filled with warmth and cinnamon scent. What is Kibum doing? We came to a stop and he let go of my hand.

"Ki-Kibum! Yah! Don't leave me here." He just chuckles and I feel a light kiss on my cheeks, missing my lips with just a few millimeters. Am I dreaming?

"Just a second, hyung." He whispered. I shivered as I felt his breath against my ear.

He tugged off the blindfold and I am amazed by the sight before me. A candlelight dinner obviously made by Kibum. Decorations all over the room. Cake and flowers by the kitchen counter. All these efforts by Kibum made me tear up. I should've never doubted him to forgot my birthday.

"Hyung, do you want your gift now or later?" I raised my eyebrow at his question.

"This isn't my gift?" I asked him.

He pulled a chair for me to sit and act like a real gentleman. "Of course. This is nothing compared to the efforts you made as our leader."

"Aigoo. Of course. It's my duty." I said and my mouth watered at the food on the table. Roasted chicken!

We started to eat. As expected, he cooks really well. We chatted about our the past few years with SHINee. I am enthusiastic in answering every question he asked me until a topic was brought up. Our love life.

"Hyung, do you like someone right now?" He asked with a serious voice. I never thought I'd see the day Kibum will act like this.

I gulped. I don't want to answer this. "I'll take that as a Yes."

"I can't really escape this, right?" I asked and he nodded.

"Tell me what is she like." I took a sip of wine and looked straight into his eyes. "Actually, it's not a girl. As you can see -"

"You're like me. Right, hyung? You don't sway for girls." He stated like he knew all along.

"You could say that." Tension began to fill the room. "He's the most beautiful person my eyes laid on. I mean, every single thing he does is perfection. Like the person he was. He's unique. And I fall in love with him every single day."

"You describe him like a really close person to you. Why don't you just go and confess? I'm sure he wouldn't have the heart to reject you." He smiled and my nerves calm for a second.

"I just couldn't. I am contented with the way we are right now. What about you? Anyone who got your eyes?" I successfully avoided more questions.

"Yeah. I've been eyeing a guy for a long time. Too bad he couldn't notice me." My heart felt like it was stabbed by a cold knife.

"Ji-jinjja? Who is it? Do I know him?" I asked because I was curious. But at the same time regretted it.

"Yeah. You know him really well. He has a great voice and the way his eyes sparkle everytime he smile. Plus he's so caring and good-looking." He once again smiled as he began to describe the mystery person. My heart hurts epat every word he said.

I could only came up with one person that suits his description. "It is Jonghyun?" He cracked up like I said some joke.

"Of course not! That dino?! Really?! I don't love him in that way!" He laughed once again. "And here I am thinking that you already knew who it was."

I once again felt nervous. If it wasn't Jonghyun, who is it? "I should thank the stars. Because of them I knew a secret of you." I eyed him strangely.

"You know, I just granted a wish of yours an hour ago. The one you wished at 11:11 pm of December 12." I was in agape at his words. I wish a hole appears on the ground and eat me alive.

"I cherished my sleep so much. But you do know that I couldn't sleep if there is an empty bed beside mine, right? I was always hiding in the shadows as you said your wishes. And that time when I got drunk on Minho's birthday? It's all an act. I was never drunk and I heard what you said. Even that kiss you gave me lingered on skin for a long time. I originally planned that to make you tell me what present you want. But I heard a different kind of present. Today, I'm gonna grant all of them. I'm giving you a chance to love me. As long as you gave me a chance to love you too. I'm giving you myself. I love you, Lee Jinki. And this is not the alcohol talking, this is me, Kim Kibum, saying that I've always loved you and will love you." He stood up and walked towards me.

I remain frozen in my seat. Did he just said what I think he said? "Do you have anything to say?" He asked and I nodded.

"You know, I never thought you'd be the one to confess." We both laughed. Sangtae attacks again. But I didn't mind as I pull Kibum for a kiss.

Today started with a depressing morning but ended with a great night. I thanked the stars for giving me strength to voice out my wishes. If I didn't heard of that 11:11 wish, I never would've got the one I love in my arms. Turns out, his gift was himself. This is the best birthday for the last 24 years I lived. And I knew there were more to come.

"Kibum ah. Where are the others?" We are currently cuddling in my room after finishing a bottle of wine.

"Ah. Them? I kicked them out of the dorm. No disturbance until tomorrow noon." He laughed and moved closer if that was even possible and gave me a tight hug.

"You are really an abusive umma. What if we got kids someday?" I asked him.

"Then, I'll spoil them with love and care and teach them manners. Wait, Lee Jinki. We just got together today and you're already thinking about children?" I laughed at what he said and kissed his forehead.

"Of course. Who knows I might get you pregnant someday?"