Tears are rolling down on your cheeks like a flowing river at the countryside. The breezy afternoon and the grey skies blanket you.  You are in sorrow and your heart won’t stop from beating so slow.  It’s going to rain but, you don’t care. You want to stay outside your balcony and stare at the high-rising towers of the buildings. And of course, to reminisce the first time you kissed the person you love so much—Hyuk.

For you, he is the perfect person. But at the same time he is the kind of person who will kill you. You know it from the start that he is the kind of guy who kills your heart, but you still love him. Your friends said, “Why don’t you break up with him?”  But you only said—no, I won’t. I can change his ways. My love will change him.

But look at what happen—you are doomed.

You gripped your left hand on the railings of the balcony and another tear escaped your eyes. You sighed and you can feel that your heart sank in sorrow.  The tears flowed again and with your bare hands, you quickly wiped it off.

You grabbed your phone from your pocket and unlocked the screen. The picture of you smiling next to Hyuk made you sigh in great burden. In an instant, you wished that someday the smile painted on your face will go back just like in the photo. But doing it next to Hyuk? Maybe.  The thought made your vision blur again.

Another strand of memory approached you. You remembered that the photo on your phone was the first photo you had together. The laughter you both shared and those talks that are endless, and those kisses that are so sweet are never getting back. The promises that were mend by him and then strengthened by you. But, those promises were as brittle and thin as an air. They have gone away together with him.

Like a droplet of rain is your tear, falling at an inch of your skin.  You stared at it, hoping and waiting for someone to wipe it for you—Hyuk’s hands. You remembered how his fingertips touched your skin like it is a fragile object. You remembered how those warm hugs blessed your mornings and gratify your heart. You remembered how his words soothed your being when you are lonely. But those memories will soon rot and not be raised from its death.

You scan the place with your eyes drenched in tears, hoping that you can see his face at every corner of this world so that you can tell him how much you love him. You hoped to see his face so that you can touch it before he bids goodbye in your world. But there is no sign of him. The distance between you and him is as wide as what your eyes have scanned—it’s immeasurable. 

You want to be with him. Forever.